personals?

[fullauto]

Why not? We'll leave it to a vote

[Jhony5]

Punch and pie it is. I avoid getting to buddy buddy with anyone online. I'll be friendly with folks, but I won't be friends.

[eddo]

There's punch?

[Phantom]

No, I don't feel this feature should be added. This site is here for debates. Everyone can go to match.com if they are interested in online romance. Besides, there has apparently been a few hook-ups on this website in the past. If members become interested in each other, I would rather them deal with it in private instead of carrying on an affair in front of all of us. Obviously, the pager system, PM system, and yahoo has helped others out in the past so let's not junk up the place.

 

Case in point: http://www.unsolvedmysteries.com

 

That place used to kick ass because it was about mysteries, the paranormal, and hardcore debates. Once categories were added like embarrassing moments, household tips, games, and the party line, the site went to pot because its original vision became lost.

[ParasiteGod]

If you're coming onto GF to pick somebody up... Yeah, good luck, jackass.

[phreakwars]

A big fucking HELL NO from me.

 

This isn't fucking match.com

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[Jhony5]

So.....who wants to fuck me? I enjoy poetry, long walks in the moonlight, and fucking your mouth like it makes me angry that I'm fucking it.

[manicmonday]

So.....who wants to fuck me? I enjoy poetry, long walks in the moonlight, and fucking your mouth like it makes me angry that I'm fucking it.

 

Well, my GOD, how could someone not be immediatly attracted to that?

[Outlaw2747]

I shall let out a resounding NO.

[phreakwars]

Hmm.... I'm married with 2 kids at home, 5 kids total.

 

Been married for over 10 years, happily for the most part.

 

Looking for hot bitch with money who will let me sleep all day and smoke pot in the living room.

 

Must also be able to afford my monthly child support payments to Mrs. Phreakwars, as well as my eccentric spending habits.

 

I have a standard sized penis to offer, with an over sized set of nutz.

 

A lower then average latency time in my sexual activity, and, I tend to care more about just breathing fresh air.

 

Yes, I DO however enjoy long walks... however... I'd rather be by myself smoking a fucking blunt then sharing a fucking precious moment with you.

 

I will however, allow my future mate to compensate for the fewer precious moments by engaging in mind soothing fellatio on my standard sized penis.

 

The forward and backward movements on the neck tend to relax those tense neck muscles right up, and the resulting wad of spoo has many necessary nutrients...

 

I know how to treat MY women !!

 

If this interests you, just PM me a photo and a home phone #

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[Vortex]

actually a personals thing could be a funny 'parody' area of wypo...we cant be serious all the time

 

 

ahem...

 

for Vortex Dial #984

 

-I like long walks on the beach, and dont get pissed off at me if im more obvious than you at staring at the guy in speedos

 

-If you like sex in the morning I have a vhs player and a bucket of porn....dont wake me up

 

-feed me drinks, expect to be blown......

 

-i floss in the bathroom, not in your balls

 

-if i dont feel like talking, its not because i dont like you....its because i dont feel like talking (that or dont turn on the TV)

 

-i dont care if days of our lives has a hot guy in a gay role....its still a soap opera....leave me out of it

 

-just because the bar is gay, doesnt mean its fun...especially if everyone is drinking water at midnight and waving glow sticks in the air

 

-my ass is exit only, and so is yours

 

-if you so much as even ask me if you look fat in someting then cut it off and get a sex change already..

 

-a 3way MAY be fun years down the road, but they are not moving into the guest room

 

there will be no church involved in a commitment ceremony

 

-you will work for a living, bottom line.......if i was a sugar daddy i would have live in models in g-strings...so get over any thoughts of mooching...

 

-if your friends annoy me i will be cordial.....if the piss me off dont blame me for defending myself verbally

 

-you want kids? fine....but i hope that means we can name it fido...because I am no father...

 

-im open to any kind of relationship as long as its honest and mutual

 

-unpack your baggage before stepping foot in my door....

 

-jealosy issues? no problem...you can fuck yourself with them you insecure ass...why would i waste my time with you if you "think" otherwise? Id rather be single....

 

-raise a fist to me once, its over

 

-if its in an area i dont feel is appropriate or safe i wont hold your hand....power to the people be damned..

 

 

crap..no wonder im single!

[Phantom]

-my ass is exit only, and so is yours

 

crap..no wonder im single!

 

I wonder why!

[tiredofwhiners]

-feed me drinks, expect to be blown......

 

Hummm in tranny dress up, maybe this could work.:o

[Chi]

I wonder why!

 

Yeah, that stood out for me, too. You learn something new every day.

[Chi]

actually a personals thing could be a funny 'parody' area of wypo...we cant be serious all the time

 

 

ahem...

 

for Vortex Dial #984

 

-I like long walks on the beach, and dont get pissed off at me if im more obvious than you at staring at the guy in speedos

 

-If you like sex in the morning I have a vhs player and a bucket of porn....dont wake me up

 

-feed me drinks, expect to be blown......

 

-i floss in the bathroom, not in your balls

 

-if i dont feel like talking, its not because i dont like you....its because i dont feel like talking (that or dont turn on the TV)

 

-i dont care if days of our lives has a hot guy in a gay role....its still a soap opera....leave me out of it

 

-just because the bar is gay, doesnt mean its fun...especially if everyone is drinking water at midnight and waving glow sticks in the air

 

-my ass is exit only, and so is yours

 

-if you so much as even ask me if you look fat in someting then cut it off and get a sex change already..

 

-a 3way MAY be fun years down the road, but they are not moving into the guest room

 

there will be no church involved in a commitment ceremony

 

-you will work for a living, bottom line.......if i was a sugar daddy i would have live in models in g-strings...so get over any thoughts of mooching...

 

-if your friends annoy me i will be cordial.....if the piss me off dont blame me for defending myself verbally

 

-you want kids? fine....but i hope that means we can name it fido...because I am no father...

 

-im open to any kind of relationship as long as its honest and mutual

 

-unpack your baggage before stepping foot in my door....

 

-jealosy issues? no problem...you can fuck yourself with them you insecure ass...why would i waste my time with you if you "think" otherwise? Id rather be single....

 

-raise a fist to me once, its over

 

-if its in an area i dont feel is appropriate or safe i wont hold your hand....power to the people be damned..

 

 

crap..no wonder im single!

 

Hm, I guess Eddo is right. I do love gay guys;)

[eddo]

Hm, I guess Eddo is right. I do love gay guys;)

 

if more people would realize how right I am, the world would be a much more peaceful place to live.

 

 

-my ass is exit only, and so is yours

 

What kind of homo doesn't like ass sex? Isn't that a prerequisite or something?

[snafu]

Hi there!

My name is Charlie.

 

I’m 26 years old. I’m 6’ 4”, 180 pounds, blue eyed, blond hair. I have great respect for women. Especially young women! I love to spend money on my girlfriends and the sky is the limit. When I’m not working out (six times a week, five hours a day) I enjoy tanning my bronze body. Don’ let the flashy Mercedes fool you. It’s my back up car for my Lamborghini.

 

Any interested women please send me a photo of you, your phone number and home address to.:

cheasterthemolester@hotmail.com

 

I’ll make contact with you.

[Chi]

Hi there!

My name is Charlie.

 

I

[snafu]

Cheaster? Is that a mispelling on purpose to not make it so obvious? And here I thought men like this didn't exist!

 

No chesterthemolester@hotmail.com was already taken. So was chesterthemolester1,2..... and every other conceivable combination of numbers.

[Chi]

No chesterthemolester@hotmail.com was already taken. So was chesterthemolester1,2..... and every other conceivable combination of numbers.

 

My apologies then. You DO exist!

[Phantom]

Hi there!

My name is Charlie.

 

I

[fullauto]

For Tim, Dial #666, or say Enki (en-key) at the beep!

 

Hi!

 

My name is Tim... I'm a 30 year old (31 on Jan 16) single father of 1 absolutely perfect baby boy!

 

I am a racist, Nazi, Satanist, who prays to aliens, and talks to Hitler on my Ouija board...

 

I own two homes... A single familly for living in, and a 4 unit apartment complex for investment... They are both mine... back off... I like living alone!

 

I still get carded at the bar, so I guess I'm in decent shape

 

I like black people but not ******s, Hispanics but not spics, white people but not hillbillies... etc... etc..

 

I was a Network Operator/administrator and made a VERY nice living... But now I am a self employed contractor, and make substantially less! However, I am quite a bit happier, and if you want a rich guy, don't call me!

 

I read at least an hour everynight, don't bust my balls!

 

I listen to a VERY eclectic mix of music... don't bust my balls!

 

My dog stinks, I know this... but you'll go before he does... just ask my EX!

 

I have been accused of being emotionless... I'm aware of it..

 

I drink TOO much, and when I do, i get very 'hands-on'... Your girlfriends could be subject to some unwanted advances...

 

I'm From RI... I tawk wicket fucked up! Deal with it! mention it more than twice and I'll stab you in the face with an ice pick...

 

My IQ teaters on the brink of insanity! Expect me to be insane every now and then

 

in 30 years, I've basically figured out that 99.36% of all humans are morally tapped, and basically have no problem killing the in droves!

 

Making a presidential bid for 2008! I got 57 votes already!

 

People suck... All praise be unto Enki! Heil Hitler! White Pride World Wide!

 

-----------------------------------------------------

For Tim, Dial #666, or say Enki (en-key) at the beep!

-----------------------------------------------------

 

I can't imagine why I'm still alone!

[snafu]

Hell ya! But change that 26 to a 46 and I will be all over you!

Did I say 26? My bad...

 

Umm anyway did I also mention my 16 incher? If I did it wasn't a stretch.

[manicmonday]

Single, moderately attractive woman seeking single moderately breathing male.

 

No smokers, no drinkers, no gamblers.

 

Must work.

 

Anywhere.

 

Must like children. Must be able to heat up own cup of coffee in the microwave without me writing out the directions.

 

Must be able to put down toilet seat when finished. Must know where cleaners are located.

 

Here's what you will get in return: I don't drink, I only smoke 4 cigarettes a month in hiding, I take out the trash daily.

 

I can't offer an emotion but a daily dose of sarcasm is in order. I only sleep 3 hours a night, so I promise not to disturb your nightly hibernation.

 

I forget to eat daily meals, but have crackers and snacks frequently. If you need meals, please email me and I will adjust accordingly.

 

I also forget to write things down and will email myself things through out the day.

 

If you feel the need for daily communication, please write into my calendar and I will organize a conversation.

 

If this kind of oblivion sounds like your kind of relationship, please call my therapist, you need more work than I do.

[phreakwars]

All that's fine and dandy.. but can you suck a mean cock, lets get real here...that's all men really need ??

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