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Posted
lol, that one was just posted by KMII :p

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Posted
Guy walks into a bar

bar tender tells him "mate theres a steering wheel sticking out of ur fly"

and the guy goes "yeh i know, its driving me nuts!!"

 

 

ugh...you so just lost 20 cool points. :rolleyes:

give me your eyes for just one second

give me your eyes so i can see

everything that i've been missing

give me a love for humanity

give me your arms for the broken-hearted

the ones that are far beyond my reach

Posted

A very sick man is in the hospital, and on many drugs which give him bowel problems. After many false alarms, he accidentally craps himself.

 

Very embarrassed, he balls up the sheets and throws them out the window, where a drunk is staggering on the way home. The drunk starts flailing at the sheets, throwing his arms around wildly. A security officer runs over, hearing the commotion.

 

"What's going on here?"

 

"I don't know, officer. But I think I just beat the crap out of a ghost."

Choose Life. Choose Love.
Posted

jokes are fun...I don't know if a knock knock will work but I'm expecting you guys to finish this...

 

knock knock

who's there?

I eat map...

"The fact that no one understands you does not make you an artist."
Posted
ugh...you so just lost 20 cool points. :rolleyes:

aw did i? my bad...

 

Say what about religion jokes?? R they in??

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Strength For Now, Nothing Later

Posted
I eat map who?

HAHA YOU EAT POO!

(I eat mah poo)

Is that right?

 

haha yes Spike, that is correct

I didn't know if that would work typing it...

"The fact that no one understands you does not make you an artist."
Posted

u know i used to compete in sports a lot

but then I realized that u can buy trophies

now im good at everything!!

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Strength For Now, Nothing Later

Posted

a penguin was talking to another when

so came a ship and hitted an iceberg

so the penguim says to the other

"do you have marshmallow?"

 

(i know it looks crazy, but in portuguese it's sooooooooooooooo funny)

i_i long time no see!!!!!!!!

Posted

lol this guy I sit by told me this really corny joke.

 

"I'm not racist I have a colored TV!"

 

Yea then he told it to his african-american friend and he just laughed.

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MySpace! Add Me!

Posted

the lamest but funniest jokes EVER:

 

Instant water, just add water.

 

 

dude: are you an orange?

other dude: no

 

 

why did the fly fall off the wall?

Cause it had a fridge attatched to its foot

 

 

they're lame but funny

hurr durr

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Posted

lol, good jokes every one.

 

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.

 

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

 

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

 

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

 

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.

 

To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

Choose Life. Choose Love.
Posted

Did any of you hear the joke about the sidewalk?

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

It's all around town.

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I support our troops.

I just don't support the war.

Posted

This one is kinda silly..

 

 

 

Our dress code at school is so strict. Anything that is comfortable or cool is not allowed

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Posted

My friend told me this today..

 

A man walks into a bar and in his hands is a little model of a man playin the panio.. and another man sees this and asks the first man where he got it.. and the man said there is a genie out side granting wishes.. so the man walks out said and tells the genie he was 10,000,000 bucks and the genie gives him 10,000,000 ducks.. So this man walks back into the bar and says..I asked for 10,000,000 bucks and the genie gave me 10,000,000 ducks.. the first man turns to him and said.. Do you think I asked for a 12 in. pianaist?

 

 

Lemme know if you don't get it..

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Posted

Day1:

A blonde comes home from school and says to her mum,"We learned how to count up to 5 today mummy. I got up to 10. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?"

Mum replies: "yes dear"

 

Day 2:

"We learned how to do the alphabet today mummy. The others only got up to E and I got up to S. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?"

Mum replies: "yes dear"

 

Day 3:

"We learned about breasts today mummy. All the other girls are flat chested and I'm a 36DD. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?"

Mum replies: "No dear, it's because your 25.

¿whysoserious?
Posted

this one is funny

 

A blonde woman walked into a department store, went over to the man at the counter and asked "can I have that microwave?" and the man said "No cause you're dumb blonde".

So she went and dyed her hair purple, went back and asked "can I have that Microwave?" and the man said "no cause you're a dumb blonde".

So she went and dyed her hair the most intelegent colour she knew, brunette. She went back to the store and asked the man "can I have that Microwave?" the man said "No cause you're a dumb blonde". the woman was confused and asked, "How do you know Im a blonde?" and the man said "cause thats not a microwave, its a toaster"

 

 

lol.. its a bit rude but its still funny.

I have another one

 

3 women, a blonde, a red head and a brunette went in a race to climb the sydney harbour bridge.

When they got halfway up, a Genie came along and said "slide down this slide and you will get anything you wish for." a slide magicly appeared. So the Brunette slid down the slide and wished for gold, she got it. The Red head slid down and wished for Money, she got it. The Blonde slid down and said "weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" and she got it.

 

I have another one like that.. its disturbing tho

hurr durr

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Posted

Blonde Joke

 

A blonde, brunette and a red head break out of prison. However on the way out some guards were comming around the corner. All they could find were some potatoe sacks so they hid inside them. The guards come up to the sacks. They kick the one with the brunette in it and she goes "meow meow" so they move on. They kick the one with the red head in it and she goes "woof woof" so they move on. Then they kick the bag with the blonde in it and she gose "potato potato potato".

 

No offence to any blondes :)

HAHAHA i love you ruth!

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<3Steph|Shabana|Fiona|Renai|Gemma|Al|Azem|Ahmed|Vero|Chantal|Heather|Basmah|Tina|COB kids<3

Posted

I found this funny. It's a blonde joke.

 

Another Dumb Blonde

 

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''

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