you might be a redneck if...

[MrRandomGuy]

you buy your wife a mother's day card and don't have any children

 

edit:

 

post other funny redneck jokes

[atreyu]

oh that's wrong

[MrRandomGuy]

it isn't wrong, it's all good fun. I'm sure you've told or laughed at blonde jokes at least once in your life. (blonde jokes make me laugh and i'm a blonde)

[atreyu]

i know it's funny. it's wrong as in the mother/wife part. that's kinda sick.i like the "u might be a redneck if..." jokes

[Friðbjörn]

I thought that was more shocking and sick rather than funny. But, you know, I support the concept of making fun of everything, no one, and nothing is holy, so keep it coming. :thumbsup:

[majinkamahl]

You know you are a red neck if you go grocery shopping at the local 7-11.

[link]

it isn't wrong' date=' it's all good fun. I'm sure you've told or laughed at blonde jokes at least once in your life. (blonde jokes make me laugh and i'm a blonde)[/quote']

me too i have some jokes Q:like y did the blond climb the chane-link fenc A:to see what was on the other side

[stupidsoul1]

LMAO you guys are so slack...i tend to stick to "ur momma" and pick up line jokes.

[LPpinkfreak821]

hah blondes jokes are funny but MEAN as hell.. lol.... im blonde.. ne waiz...

 

you might be a redneck if your salad bowls are old butter containers

 

you might be a redneck if you mow your lawn and find a car

 

you might be a redneck if you work with you shirt off and so does you husband

 

you might be a redneck if you go to find a wife at your family reunion

 

 

 

my brain isnt' working.. thats all i can think of right now...

[Hyper]

lmao.. i <3 jeff foxworthy.

 

this should prolly be in the LPF Games section tho.

 

You might be a redneck if you think N'sync is where your dishes go

 

that's the only one i can think of right now (parents are shouting again..)

 

but don't forget the redneck words

 

wijuhdijuh - you didn't bring your truck wijuhdijuh?

 

mayonaise - mayonaise alotta people here

 

initiate - my wife ate some fries, a burger.. initiate a bag of potato chips.

[Brkng_Th_Hbt]

how is that redneck joke sick or wrong? ..maybe I'm just a retard.

[Hyper]

how is that redneck joke sick or wrong? ..maybe I'm just a retard.

 

ever seen a Jeff Foxworthy show? or Blue Collar Comedy Tour, the show or the dvd. or Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again? that's where it's from lol. jeff foxworthy = redneck jokes, bill engval = heres your sign, ron white = ... stuff? lmao. and larry the cable guy = perv sheezy.

[stupidsoul1]

lmao!!

those are just weird

[LPGirl]

lmao funny thread

 

you might be a redneck if you use old runners for flower pots

you might be a redneck if your sister and your gf are the same person, lol i know 2 far.. 0___o

[Hybrid_Hero]

u might be a redneck if the garbarge man is confused at what stays and what goes

 

u might be a redneck if ur bathtub is up on cinder blocks

 

u might be a redneck if if ur grandmother ask u to finish teh dishes because she needs to take a bath

[NoEnd]

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

 

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

 

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

[linkinpark-1]

you might be a red neck if you call reading while on the toilet multi-tasking.

[ROCKSLIDE]

lol.

 

You might be a redneck if your richest relative has wheels on their house.

[About2Break27]

You might be a redneck if you marry your cousin.

 

I love jeff foxworthy lol.

 

Jeff Foxworthy=love

[o0SugaxNxSpice0o]

--*Redneck Drivers Liscence Application Form*--

 

Last name: ________________

First name:

(_) Billy-Bob

(_) Billy-Joe

(_) Billy-Ray

(_) Billy-Sue

(_) Billy-Mae

(_) Billy-Jack

(Check appropriate box)

 

Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)

 

Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure

 

Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right

 

Occupation:

(_) Farmer

(_) Mechanic

(_) Hair Dresser

(_) Un-employed

(_) Dirty Politician

 

Spouse's Name: __________________________

2nd Spouse's Name: __________________________

3rd Spouse's Name: __________________________

Lover's Name: _________________________

2nd Lover's Name: _________________________

 

Relationship with spouse:

(_) Sister

(_) Brother

(_) Aunt

(_) Uncle

(_) Cousin

(_) Mother

(_) Father

(_) Son

(_) Daughter

(_) Pet

 

Number of children living in household: ___

Number of children living in shed: ___

Number that are yours: ___

 

Mother's Name: _______________________

Father's Name: _______________________

(If not sure, leave blank)

 

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

 

Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)

___ Total number of vehicles you own

___ Number of vehicles that still crank

___ Number of vehicles in front yard

___ Number of vehicles in back yard

___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

 

Firearms you own and where you keep them:

____ truck

____ bedroom

____ bathroom

____ kitchen

____ shed

 

Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194_

 

Do you have a gun rack?

(_) Yes (_) No; If no, please explain:

 

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:

(_) The National Enquirer

(_) The Globe

(_) TV Guide

(_) Soap Opera Digest

(_) Rifle and Shotgun

 

___ Number of times you've seen a UFO

___ Number of times you've seen Elvis

___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

 

How often do you bathe:

(_)Weekly

(_)Monthly

(_)Not Applicable

 

Color of teeth:

(_)Yellow

(_)Brownish-Yellow

(_)Brown

(_)Black

(_)N/A

 

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:

(_)Red-Man

 

How far is your home from a paved road?

(_)1 mile

(_)2 miles

(_)don't know

[LPpinkfreak821]

thats great... i like that... thats really funny!

[Mikes_Shadow]

If you see road kill on the side of the road and you think DINNER, you might be a redneck

 

thats the only one i know

[Vash_the_Stampede]

One I thought of so it might suck,

You might be a redneck if you headbang to Dueling Banjos.

 

Another one that I heard,

YOu might be a redneck if your schools fight song is Dueling Banjos.

[Breakingthehabit_197]

you might be a redneck if:

You think Nsync is where your dirty dishes go

you ever ridden an electric floor buffer

you mow your lawn and find a car

your mailbox is made out of old car parts

your mom can tell a cop to kiss her ass with taking the marboro out of her mouth

you go to your family reunion to find a date

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You think TACO BELL is a Mexican Phone Company

You think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors

You've ever had to scratch your sisters name out of a message that begins,

"For a good time time call..."

you take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took

Three quarters of the clothes you own have LOGOS on them

You think the three primary colors are John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray.

Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there is a law against it.

You dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

Your parents met at a family reunion

You stare at an orange juice container because it says, "CONCENTRATE"

You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie

You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

You see a billboard that says, "SAY NO TO CRACK" reminds you to pull up your jeans.

You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.

[Vash_the_Stampede]

You might be a redneck if you dad only walks you to school because you're in the same grade.