Frominsidegirls journal(formally known as lpunderground)

[Frominsidegirl]

well i used to be lpunderground but that name isnt working so i had to make a new journal. my friend found out about me snapping a rubber band on my wrist and she almost cryed, so i couldnt tell her bout scratching well shes over here so ill post later

(dani)

[stupidsoul1]

thats no good =(

 

maybe you should try to stop doing that.

[ForgottenKid]

What SS1 said.

[Frominsidegirl]

i know, i promised her i wouldnt do it anymore cause it hurt too much, what i didnt tell her is that i scratch(not dj'ing) she would have been really upset at me. i want to tell someone in person about it, but i have a hard time talking to people its easier to write it.

 

by the way how is everyone?

 

(dani)

[Heart_LP]

I understand what you mean, I ahve a hard time talking to ppl too but sometimes just let it all out ( like yesterday)

hey, if you wanna talk then just go ahead and Pm me.

I´m right here. :thumbsup:

*hugs*

ttyl

[shahfire]

we are all here for you, girl! you can speak anything you want, as long as it doesnt hurt anyone who is a lpf member.

[Frominsidegirl]

thank you. Though i have been told i complain too much. i just dont talk to anyone. so today is june 6,2005.

3 more days left of school and i wont be a freshman anymore! im listening to headbangers ball.YIPPE. i scratched today and it made my leg bleed(i know bad me) but eh il get over it. i almost cryed in government cause my teacher saud something about remebering when he was a kid and his parents haveing to borrow money to rent there house. it reminded me of my life. why is life so unfair?

 

How is everyone?

(dani)

[Heart_LP]

I´m sry *hugs*

Life is just unfair...you cant do anything about it...no one can...just pray that days go as good as it can go!

being a freshman sux! ><

I know how it is!

I felt like a freshman in my school for more then 1 yr! v_v

anyways I hope you feel better

*hugs tightly*

[Frominsidegirl]

thanks, what grade are you in?

[Frominsidegirl]

and so another entry for today. im sitting here with my tea yes tea to relax me i dont think its working but it tastes good. i have absolutly no one to talk to so im on the path of entering my mind which is a very unsafe place. i think im gonna break down soon. i cant handle the stress of everything and i dont want to sound prissy or anything. some of my friends keep telling me that i take stuff to personaly and that im selfish. ive said it before i hardly talk to anyone. another one of my friends gets on and i will say hi and five minutes later he gets off and he hadnt said anything to me, thats been going on for a week. i dont want to call him cause i think im bothering him. so all i can do is sit here and cry to myself cause no one really cares. Everytime my dad works i think hes not gonna come home. hes a firefighter and after 9/11 it really made me think. if he dies before i am moved out i am running away somewhere very far away. I wouldnt be able to deal with my moms shit and my brother. my friends are like if you run away come to my house, but infact i wouldnt it would be somewhere were my mom couldnt find me because she would look at my friends houses first. i wish that i could just go away from everything like a fairytale. everything is so perfect.

night

Dani

[shahfire]

fairytales? well, they dont exist so we should'nt think of them. nothing is perfect and not everything is unfair. look for the good things in your life. its not like problems will not come at all and you will live in a world of happiness, you just get thorugh it ok? *hug* bye!

[Frominsidegirl]

june.7,2005

 

another day at school which was uneventful and boring. it wasnt a good day but it wasnt a bad day. i still havnt talked to my one friend that i really want to talk to. i dont want to bother him. ill eventully talk to him.

(dani)

[Heart_LP]

thanks' date=' what grade are you in?[/quote']

I go in 8th soon in 9th

 

btw I know how you feel. I have a freind that I really wanna talk to and it feels like he keeps on ignoring me

 

well glad it wasn´t a bad day atleast

*hugs*

ttyl

[shahfire]

you should talk to the friend soon, girl. if you keep putting it off, you may not get the chance to. *hug* bye!

[Frominsidegirl]

i did i talked to him yesterday. im so tired. i got new shoes today i was forced to.my dad told me i couldnt wear shoes that had holes in them. so i got retro nikes. also i got the new mudvayne cd. its awsome , really heavy stuff. i chased my brother and his friend around town while they skateboarded. i "borrowed" my brothers friends board and went threw this zig zaged path it was so cool. my brother was like u suck, i like i was good for being the first time on a bord. then he wouldnt let me ride his bord he told me to get my own. eh i want to get a pair of DC's but thats not gonna happen so yea another day down.

 

*Dani*

[Frominsidegirl]

June 11,2005

 

my parents are in their room fighting agian. All because i wore my mothers socks. She said they were her work socks and she got pissed.I took them cause i dont have any. My dad took my side and now they are fighting. i want to just run away go somewhere else. i have no where to go though.

 

 

Ok i wrote this:

 

Yell and Scream too long

The Pressure Builds

Tennsion Rises

Decayed too long

for anyone to live

 

Let me have one more

cut

Let me have one more

bleed

Let me scream my last

point

 

Poke and Prad

divide and conqure

throw some punches

the Damage is already done

Theres no going back

 

Let me have one more

cut

Let me have one more

bleed

Let me scream my last

point

 

Take the Shame

Throw away the greed

Bingo , Your a Winner

Smile and Wave

Your Dreams are fake

 

Take My last breath

Fake the fame

Choose the Game

Pick a card

there all the same

 

Let go of the image

Put down the smiles

burn the mask

Show your real self

No one cares

 

*Dani*

[stupidsoul1]

thats a pretty neat poem, sorry about the circumstances though =(

 

i bet you dont complain too much who ever said that is stupid its not complaining if you are "venting" hehe

[shahfire]

nice poem. it sucks about the fighting. hope everything's is fine!