Shady Chronicles (Chapter 1)

[Eminem]

Shady Chronicles

 

Linkin Park and Eminem’s Revenge Against Cartman

 

Rock sensation Linkin Park has left South Park and is currently on tour, but don’t think that they’ve escaped South Park’s humor.

Mike and Chester are just leaving South Park and are now on the tour bus to perform at a concert in Detroit.

 

 

Mike: After all this you’d think we’d be relieved.

Chester: Some fantasy, I barely ate or slept!

Mike: Keep tellin’ yourself that.

Mike: Those SouthPark freaks have really spun my head into the turd they live in.

Chester: Especially, that Cartman kid.

Mike: That little punk will get what’s comin’ to him one day.

Chester: First of all, he isn’t a little anything and second of all, his name probably came from the crane-sized cart that U-hauled his ass from whatever lard factory he came out of.

Chester: Speaking of lard, I could really use some Cartman, I mean some food!

Mike: Im buzzed, let’s get out of here. Yo driver, step on it.

 

After a day has passed, Mike and Chester finally arrive at Comerica Park in Detroit, Michigan. Chester is the first one to jump out of the bus to kiss the floor and sing the chorus to “In the End”.

 

Mike: Dude, when I meant get a grip, I didn’t mean it literally. I know some guys that close to their mothers.

Chester: Oh yeah, like who?

Mike: Forget it. This place would be great.

Chester: Look at all these people. We never rocked a crowd this big before. Hey…. What’s that sign say?

 

Mike slowly reads the sign aloud.

Mike: Ticket pre-sales is set to begin for "Anger Management III" - the third edition of Eminem's massive hip-hop extravaganza.

Chester: Eminem? Hip-hop? I can’t take it anymore. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! In the Ennnnnnnnnd….

 

Moments later, Eminem including 50 Cent and G-Unit are performing live on the outdoors stage.

 

Chester: That’s supposed to be us man. I’m gonna give Eminem a piece of my mind, a piece of my ass.

 

Mike quickly notices that Chester has ripped a skit from The Slim Shady LP and snaps.

 

Mike: You traitor! You’ve been listening to him all this time haven’t you? No wonder why you bleached your hair! Speaking of Eminem, bein’ that you’re his fan and all, you probably already listened to My Band, right?

Chester: Yeah so…

Mike: So who’s the lead singer here dude? I wanna know. Apparently he knows, so why shouldn’t I? You know what?! I am. Me! Not You! Me! You scrawny conniving bleach blond b****.

Chester: Why don’t we just get Eminem and settle this, huh?

Mike: My pleasure, b***h.. Let’s see him rhyme his way outta this one.

 

Knowing that there was no possible way for either of them to get past the crowd or security, Mike and Chester wait after the show. Shortly after the performance, Chester screams Eminem’s name out while holding up mike’s hand screaming out to meet him. Eminem quickly notices them but still has to leave the stage. Eminem arranges to meet with them by addressing this to them through his bodyguards. Mike and Chester follow them on the Tour Bus where they meet Eminem.

 

Mike and Chester ask Eminem why he took over their show and they both start to argue with him.

 

Chester: So, Motherf***** so, this is what people are talkin’ about. Mr. Bigshot Eminem. Nice name how long did it take you to make up your name MARSHALL MATHERS? (M&M)

Chester: So where’s the creme filling?

 

Chester gawks at Eminem.

 

Chester: Now that’s the stuff!

Mike: Uh....ahem...Hostess. (under his breath)

 

Mike: Hey!! Be very careful…he’s fixing to pop a cap in our fannies.

Chester: Well Mr. Eminem. Quite Frankly, I don’t care where you melt. I don’t care if you melt in my mouth or melt in my hands because today, you get the rude award!

 

Mike quickly grabs Chester.

 

Mike: He is a gangbanger he will gangbang us!

[Eminem]

The Tour Bus (Chapter 2)

 

Eminem quickly notices their raunchy behavior, but ignores it.

 

Eminem: What are you guys doing here?

Chester: You took our gig.

Eminem: What are you talkin' about?

Mike: What we're talking about is that we were scheduled to perform in Comercia Park, not you.

Eminem: Yo, I don't know what you're talking about, but I can give you some VIP tickets if you want.

Chester: We don't want any...

Eminem's cell phone rings.

Eminem: Hi! My Name is....what? My Name is who? My Name is Chici Chici Slim Shady! oh, hey Cartman, what's up?

Unknown Voice on other side of conversation: Jibba Jabba nanu nanu god dammit.

Chester: oh woa! Cartman! That oversized keesh.

 

Eminem: F**k you Cartman! Do you know who I am? My Name is......My Name is..... S-l-i-m S-ha-dy!

 

Cartman's side of the conversation becomes clear as his voice grows louder.

Cartman: You little punk! You'd be flipping burgers at Gilbert's if it wasn't for me. I'll tell you what My Name is you trailer trash turd.

Eminem: Alright! Alright! Alright! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I love you Hailie Jade! I love you Hailie Jade.

Eminem hangs up the phone and just stares at Mike and Chester.

Chester: So, what do we do now?

Mike: Wait a minute! What were you doing talking with Cartman?

Eminem: Man, if it wasn't for Cartman's record label (Underground Pork Fry) I'd be FEMINEM in my uncle's gym shorts. That punk's freaky, but pays full.

Mike: Why would Cartman help you?

[Eminem]

The Great Escape (Chapter 3)

 

This scene takes place after Mike and Chester encounter Eminem on his tour bus after his last show in Detrioit.

 

Mike: We could be found lying dead on Jam Master Jay's two turntables.

Chester: I don't know man. He looks punkish. Can we punk him? I just wanna know if we can punk him?

Mike: I don't know man; he might go 8-Mile on us. He'll swing so fast it'll make your eyes spin. You gon' get knocked the F*** out like Mike Tyson!

Chester: Dude, I think he's getting to you. Before you know it you'll be lip-synching all the way to The Eminem Show.

Mike: So, that's why everyone's' gone coo coo for this white cocoa puff.

 

Eminem: What the F***? These motherf****rs wanna popshit with me?

 

Eminem reaches for his holstered pistol and waves it around angrily.

 

Chester: Uh oh! He might go ICP on us (Insane Clown Posse).

 

Mike falls into a sudden flashback. Mike is in his living room in his house watching the news. A brief excerpt of the ICP interview is shown.

 

Shaggy2Dope: You know what?! I challenge Eminem. The next time MTV has one of those sport shows, put me in a boxing match and I’ll knock you the buck out!

 

News Reporter: This feud escalated beyond blow up dolls when Eminem allegedly pulled an unloaded gun on an Insane Clown Posse employee outside a Detriot Car Audio Store in June of 2000.

 

Shaggy 2 Dope waves his hand to replicate the scene.

Shaggy2 Dope: Dropped it all over the floor

Silent Jay: It wasn’t even a water gun! It didn’t even have water in it!

Shaggy2Dope: Nope, it was empty!

 

News Reporter: As funny as the clowns may have found the incident, Eminem himself was hit with serious weapons possession charges that could face real jail time if convicted.

 

Mike returns from his flashback.

 

Mike: Looks like we ain’t got nothing to worry about! The worst he could do is supersoak us if he had any water!

 

Eminem: Oh shiznit! Dre! Dre! I need you. G-G-G-G-G-G-uniiiiiiit! Where the hell are you? G-G-G-G-uniiiiiit!!! I’m out!

 

Linkin Park: Oh no you don’t! You better Lose Yourself in the tour bus the moment you saw us, you know your getting your punkass blowed! You only had one shot, but your bitch ass stole our show! Now we’re going to have to knock you the F*** out!

 

Eminem: I’m lost!! I’m lost dude!!!

[Eminem]

The Chase (Chapter4)

 

This scene takes place as Linkin Park notices Eminem's weakness and decides to take him head on.

 

Mike and Chester ran out of the tour bus in hopes of catching Eminem. As they grow tired and slow down, they begin to converse.

 

Mike: Oh.... oh...I’m so damn tired. Maybe we should just give up. You’re the lead singer dude. Go on without me, I’ll just slow you down.... it was great while it lasted.... What's that light?

 

Chester ignores Mike and runs past him.

 

Chester: I’m going to get that Oreo!

 

Eminem takes out his chain and reveals the shine!

 

Eminem: Bling, Bling!

 

Chester: Not the Bling! Not the bling! My eyes! The liiight!! I think I can, I think I can, B***h I know I can!

 

Eminem: That’s one vicious Chihuahua! I’m gonna make an album about this. No matter what, it’s going 5x Platinum. Man! Leave me alone; I’m just a little boy! I can make you famous. G-G-G-G-uniiit!

 

It’s a race through the mean streets of Detroit and it seems Chester is catching up with him. While Chester dodges the gangsters and gangbangers Eminem pays them to be his friend and take Chester out. Sound familiar?! Regardless, Chester still manages to get past them, until finally, like in any other suspenseful scene, Eminem is cornered in an ally.

 

Eminem seizes the opportunity and takes a jab at Chester with a solid punch to the face. Chester then screams...

 

Chester: OWWWWWWWWW!!!! I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there!!!!

 

Eminem: Feel this Cheetos!

 

Eminem seems to be winning the fight. Chester gets knocked to the ground.

 

Eminem: I’m a bust cap in yo’ ass! A kneecap that is!

 

While Chester screams like a baby, Eminem starts rapping for every hit! Get it?

 

Chester: Damn you Cartman!

 

Eminem: Homie say what?! Cartman? Cartman is the shizzle on my nizzle you blond haired fizzle, old school!!

 

As a desperate attempt of defiance against Eminem, Chester retaliates by using his wits to get into Eminem’s head by haunting Eminem with his fearful past of his relationship with his mother.

 

Chester: Marshall... Marshall.... son...Where are you?

 

Eminem (Marshall Mathers): Mommy? Mommy? Is that really you?

 

Chester (Mom): What the.... ahem...yes... You’ve been a bad, bad boy Marshall.

 

Eminem: No mommy! I’ve been good, honest!

 

Chester: No, you haven’t....You didn't tell anyone about that special night, did you? Do you remember when I taught you how to play with that finger-me Stacey Doll?

 

Eminem: No! Mommy noo! I said I’m sorry Mama! I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to make you cry, but tonight I’m eating in my closet! I won’t eat in the living room anymore!

 

Chester: No you did! And tonight your gonna go on ball-less!

Eminem: What?

 

Chester seizes his opportunity and goes straight to the milk duds.

 

Eminem screams with agony.

 

While Chester maneuvers his ball-twisting action, Eminem screams for his life.

 

Eminem: How am I going to impress people? I was pussy to begin with! And I got no balls to prove it.

[Eminem]

It's 50! (Chapter 5)

 

Will the Real Slim Shady Please Shut up?! Eminem's continuous screaming got people's attention, someone Chester may not like....

 

Eminem reaches in his bling bling pocket and pulls out a special device. By the looks of it, it looked like some transmitter. The transmitter emitted a high-powered flash into the sky.

 

Eminem: Danananna Gatmaaan!

 

A bulky dark image appears at the light of the alley. The unknown image then comes closer...

 

Chester: What the?

 

Eminem: Hey! Hey!! It's 50! It's 50!

 

50 Cent: Hey! It's 50! I'm 50. Disco Inferno! Shady/Aftermath! Aftermath in that ass b***h!

 

Eminem: Yeah! Yeah!! Hi! My Name is....My Name Is.....Man! I can't rap without a beat. What took you so long I was G-uniting you guys earlier.

 

Chester doesn't know what to think or what to do. He remains motionless and tired after releasing his fatigued fingers are off Eminem's m&ms.

 

Walking past the alley is the Billie Joe of Green Day." Im still Alive and I walk Alone"...

 

50 Cent: You gettin' jumped! You should've never walked home alone. I walk alone my ass! This is the streets, ya herd?

 

Billie Joe: I walk alone!!!

 

50 Cent: Come on Em', let's G-G-G-G-et out of here!

Eminem: Fo' Shizzle my fuzz head bizzle.

 

50 Cent slowly picks up the fallen soundscan king and takes both Chester and Eminem in his pimped out Hummer.

 

Billie Joe: Dudes! What about Me?

50 Cent: G-G-G-Get yo' ass out of here! Remember? Yo ass is walkin alone on the Boulevard of Broken Bling.

Billie Joe: I'm such an American Idiot. I should make an album about this.

 

The Crunk powered Hummer jets from Detroit, Michigan to the mean streets of South Park.

 

50 Cent: So, who's this Pacman wigger you've been beefin' wit?

 

Chester wakes up from the back of the Hummer.

 

Chester: What the F....? Man, I just don't give a f**k!

 

50 Cent quickly turns around smacks Chester and chokes him.

 

50 Cent: This is my car! There will be no swearing or profane language of any kind! I don't want my car being exposed to such hostile individuals. We should learn to get along.

 

Eminem: Word!

 

Chester: Give a f**k? I don't know what a f**k is to give it!

 

Chester: His name is Cartman, and he's got the sh*t hole of town twisted. I say we punk him!

[Eminem]

Powder The Crack Dog (Chapter 6)

 

Rap's new MVP has entered the scene with his eyes on the objective.

 

Chester: In the....

 

50 Cent: Yo' b***h ass betta' not try to bring that rock sh*t round' here!

 

Chester: Who me?! You mean me? Oh! You're silly.... silly goose!

 

50 Cent: That's more like it. So, where's my free cheetos? I'm rich, but the way I think about it, why should I buy, when I got Chester the cheetah right here.

 

Chester: Who? I'm a lead singer dude!!! Linkin Park!!

 

50 Cent: I thought you guys died. Me and Em' (Eminem) have got this game locked! Right Em'?

 

Eminem: Uh, dude. Where's my Car-tman?

 

50 Cent: Hold on Slim Anus, we gettin there.

 

As 50 passes an urban neighborhood, he begins to stare down an enemy. The now identified opponent seems to be a rottweiler. Both dog and dog begin to stare each other down...

 

50 Cent: ARRRRR!!!!

 

Dog: Errrrr!!!

 

50 Cent: R-R-R-R-Ruff Ryders!

 

Dog:......

 

The dog slowly walks to the car window on its two hind legs. This two way calling seemed to be a secret slot to the drugs straight from the real dogs.

 

Dog: So, what's it this time?

 

50 Cent: Wutcha got?

 

This dog was no ordinary dog. This unusual mysterious talking dog is none other than Powder the Crack dog, mass supplier of South Park District's mainstream genuine Nipples and D***s.

 

Dog: I'm layin' low right now, betta ask Fluffy over there. She gettin' a little busy though..

 

50 Cent: Did she lick anybody last night?

 

Powder: I dunno, better ask her.

 

50 Cent: You like adventures?

 

Powder:.......

 

50 Cent: G-G-G-Get yo' ass in the car!

 

50 quickly grabs Powder and throws him into the Hummer and adds him to his G-Unit Party Mix. This strategy could prove valuable against Cartman.

 

Powder: Where's my crack? I need my crack!

[Eminem]

Our Own 8 Mile (Chapter 7)

 

No matter where we live, no matter who we are, we’re all bound by borders ... some real, some imagined. Many of us are content to live within these borders. Others are forced to. But some of us need to break out, burst through, even if what lies on the other side is both frightening and unknown. 8 Mile is a story about these boundaries that define our lives, and a young man’s struggle to find the strength and courage to transcend them.

 

The G-Unit Party Mix lead by 50 Cent are heading to the criminal mastermind Cartman to retaliate against the lipid-hungry fiend.

 

Powder continuously rocks back and forth. He maintains a rhythm as he copes with the effects of PCP. His scent-sensitive nose snorts and snots attempting to inhale the dusty substance that produced his name.

 

Chester: Oh Gah!!.......

 

Chester is amazed and frightened at the same time. He then ignores the "Roger the Rabbit" wannabe and hopes for the best.

 

50 drives and pulls up his Hummer to Fluffy the Prostitute Poodle.

 

50 Cent: Hey yo Fluffy, get yo' nudered ass over here.

 

Fluffy: Hey 50! What do you want?

 

50 Cent: B***h! I tell you what I want! Where's my money?! I'm on an adventure and I don't need b****s takin up my space.

 

Fluffy: I got $100....

 

50 Cent: $100? Uh, that's good, that's great.... B***h! $100?!! That's it! I should have left yo' ass in that pound, but no I was good enough to take you under my wing to be a prostitute.

 

50 then b***h slaps her.

 

50 Cent: Don't worry. When you come home, you'll get a taste of what I'm cookin' cookie! I'ma take care of you!

 

50 starts the Hummer and is on his way.

 

Fluffy: I can make more! You know I'm good for it.

 

Everyone in the car remains motionless and unhappy of their situation. Disturbed by the awkward silence, 50 pulls up to the parking lot of a local 7-ll convenience store.

 

50 Cent: Since ya’ll been great, I’ma buy my self a slushy!

 

Eminem: Why don’t you just buy your Vitamin Water that you sell?

 

50 Cent: Sh*t, are you crazy?! That sh*t’s nasty. That sh*t nasty as hell! Man, do you mind? No way in hell I’m gonna let that flavored bile enter into my artificially ravioli beefed up steroid using body.

 

50 Cent: I’ma buy a slushy for myself and hope it makes you guys happy. Attention B*****s! G-G-G-G-Get yo’ ass out of my car and wait outside.

 

Eminem, Chester, and Powder are sitting on the sidewalk of the 7-11. Chester feels consumed by his deteriorating hopes and begins to release his anger and frustration into music...

 

Chester: Crawling in his skin... is fatness he cannot feeeel! Fat is how he falls, Obesity is what is real.... The fatness blows him to the surface, consuming/ acid reflux.... There’s nothing that a little ex-lax cannot handle...to fart once more again...my walls are closing in...

 

Eminem jumps on the track...

 

Eminem: Without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much Chester too take!

 

Powder: I felt so bad so beforrrre....no pedicurrrre!!

 

Chorus

 

Chester: Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me.... distracting/reacting.... against my will I stand beside my own reflection.... it’s haunting how I can't seem to fart once more again...my walls are closing in.

 

Eminem: Without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much Chester too take!

 

Powder: I felt so bad so beforrrre....no pedicurrrre!!

 

Chorus

 

Chester: There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface consuming/confusing what is real...this lack of self-control I fear is never ending...controlling/confusing what is reaaal!!

 

The scene quickly commences as 50 approaches the clerk with his fruity-flavored slushy.

 

Clerk: Is that it? Would you like some complimentary chocolates?

 

50 Cent: Ok, but “Just A lil’ Bit”...

 

Clerk: You can have them all if you want, they're free.

 

50 Cent: I said I just want a lil’ bit!! We’ve been set up! I’m a gangsta’ fo’ real.

 

50 starts needlessly shooting his way out of the store.

 

50 Cent: Let’s G-G-G-Get out of here!

 

Chester: He’s right, let’s go. We’re all in this together now. We’re coming after you Cartman.

 

Eminem: What a Gaylord...

 

Powder: Did somebody say crack??

 

Like men on a mission, they all jump into the car to “Plot Against Cartman”.

[Eminem]

Mike The Yogi Bear Godzilla

 

The following chronicle is an expcerpt of the presentation Encore, keep in mind that the final product of the skit may differ from its original predecessor.

 

 

Like men on a mission, they all jump into the car to “Plot Against Cartman”. The aura surrounding the G-Unit Party Mix is cocked, glocked, and ready for action.

 

The Hummer jetted from the local convenient store to inner city South Park.

 

50 Cent: You know What? See, I like this. We’re all family and sittin and im slurpin a slurpie. Let’s Put on da radio.

 

50 then attempts to change the radio station.

 

The radio is tuned to a rap station….Just Lose it AHHH AHHHA AHHH

 

Eminem: That’s me! I’m on that!

 

50 Cent changes the radio station. “All I really need is a Lil Bit….

 

Eminem: Oh hell no! Change it back!

 

50 Cent: RRRRRRR…….

 

Eminem and 50 begin to feud in the form of rapping…..They begin to slur at one another. And as they both say the same word…

 

Eminem: Hahah Jinx! Knock on wood.

 

Eminem: I said Just Lose It ahahahahah!

 

50 Cent: Just A LIL BIT!!!

 

They continuously fight until they are interrupted by a breaking news announcement.

 

Reporter: South Park’s annual Hip Hop convention has made way and has the world’s finest mc’s to battle for the world famous Hip-hop award. Last minute contestants are permitted as there is an insufficient amount available. Now back to your normal programming.

 

Everyone in the Hummer remains motionless as they gawk at one another. Then 50 and Eminem stare each other and Eminem gives him an approving nod. 50 nods and puts the metal to the pedal.

 

As they pass through the neighborhood, they begin to notice a marathon of some sort taking place.

 

Chester: Oh my god! Is that Mike?

 

The seemed to be forgotten sluggish Mike joined a marathon for the “Fight for Cavities” and had finished the marathon in 1st place.

 

Reporter: It’s been a glorious day for our young boyishly overweight runner as he has completed the competiton first place. My first questions are, “Who are you?” And well, “Who are you?

 

Mike: Cute

 

Reporter: I’m quite serious who are you?

 

Mike: Don’t get too excited but…im kinda in a band. You may have heard of me rippin it on LINKIN PARK!!!

 

The surrounding crowd including the runners and the reporters begin to laugh over Mike’s comment as they stare.

 

Reporer: Well, many sponsors are interested in having you as their franchise. They’re thinking about having a Mikeos Cereal, having you premier as the new Yogi bear, and you’ll get a chance to meet Linkin Park.

 

Mike: Oh you did done it!

 

Mike aggressively attacks the reporter…

 

Mike: You did done it! You did done it! You did done it! You want a lead singer? I’ll give you a lead singer!

 

Runner # 1: Hey! Yogi Bear is attacking the reporter!

 

Runner # 2: That Asian is gonna eat us all! Everyone Godzilla! Run!

[Eminem]

Encore Excerpt #2

 

The following scene commences as Mike aka Yogi the Bear aka Godzilla attacks the repoter.

 

Chester rushes out of the car to coyote jump on Mike.

 

Chester: Mike! You maniac nut of a job….Where the f*** have you been?

 

Mike: I’ve been around. Running is not really my thing, but you ignoring me while chasing after Eminem didn’t really help.

 

Chester: Dude, whatever let’s get out of here. We know where Cartman is and we’re gonna pump that b**** once and for all.

 

50 Cent: Hey! I isn’t no chauffer. Bitch Get in My Car! Diarrhea doesn’t wait for no one, not even me.

 

Chester: C’mon let’s go

 

Mike: Are you crazy?? Do you have any idea who your getting in with? We were just after them a while ago.

 

Chester slowly turns his head to 50 who is in the driver side of the car and is watching through the rear view mirror.. 50 gives Chester a nod, Chester nods back and BAM! Chester knocks the unwilling Mike to the ground.

 

50 Cent: Drag his bitch ass in here..Watch the leather.

 

The Hummer zooms through South Park’s mean streets until they finally arrive at the convention.

 

The convention takes place in a stadium filled with thousands of people. Everyone including Powder the Crack Dog gets out of the car.

 

Powder: We Need a crack free America!! Free crack for everyone!!

 

Powder passes out and is immediately seized by an a Animal Protection officer.

 

Officer: Who’s dog is dis??? He’s doped up on coke and smack…Hang in there little feller.

 

Once again everyone is interrupted.

 

To their amazement Cartman, the lipid-fiend they have long searched for was in their presence on stage.

 

Cartman mocks Eminem’s final performance that was in his 8 Mile Movie.

 

Cartman: Now everybody who likes pork fried peas put ur muttercluckin hands up and follow me….Now everybody who likes pork fried peas put ur muttercluckin hands up!

 

Cartman: Look Look now though he stands tough notice that this ham did not have it’s edge cut, this root beer’s got u gassed up now who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?

 

Chester remains motionless yet seemingly disturbed as the rest of the crew does.

[Eminem]

Status Update

 

Chronicle: Encore

Next Chapter: Curtain's Down (Final Bow)

 

Guest Appearences: Green Day, Slipknot, and Cupid. Will Billie Joe always walk alone on the "Boulevard of Broken Dreams"?

 

Status: Currently Under Development

 

Next Chronicle: Development of Yellow Brick Road is under major development after "Curtain's Down".

[Eminem]

Talent Show

 

Cartman using his agile rhymes, was able to rock the crowd and bewilder Eminem’s impassive fans.

 

50: You know, I know I said that you know we should be non-violent, but fuhget about it.

 

Officer: This dog thinks we have a crack free america! Well I tell you what, we don’t and I should know.

 

Eminem and 50 Cent reach for their holstered pistols and shoot the officer;

 

50: I think you misread my album title “Get Rich or Die Tryin”, you musta thought it said Get Rich or Try Dyin”.

 

Eminem hehe Alright…

 

Eminem: Let’s run down this joint! Woooooooooooooo!

 

Eminem and 50 Cent taking opposite sides, run past the crowd and shoot their way to the stage.

 

Eminem jumps on the satge.

 

50 Cent: How the hell did you get up there?

 

Eminem: Don’t you remember? Black people can jump and white people can fly…..unless

 

50: Unless what?

 

Eminem: Jump Jump!! You down wit O.P.P?

 

50 then finally jumps on the stage.

 

Eminem and 50 Cent take out their pistols and aim at the lipid-fiend.

 

Chester: No waiiiiit! You can’t kill him! If you do, you’ll just prove your as evil as him…not that it matters but we need to show that lipid hungry whore what we’re about.

 

Unknown Voices: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaah!

 

Chester: What the hell?

 

Eminem: Oh my god! It’s Slipknot! Dre! I mean mommy! No, I mean 50! Hold me!!!!

 

Eminem jumps on the back of 50.

 

The members of Slipknot speak simultaneously.

 

Slipknot: We should have a talent show contest.

 

Eminem: Whatever you say my daughter’s at home you can have her.

 

Slipknot: If you really want to defeat Cartman and his regime, your going to have to show him that it your better than him.

 

50: Not bad…..

 

Slipknot: Just make sure you don’t bring any punk rock bands around here.

 

50 Cent: Punk….Punk…Punk…..Doesn’t ring a bell.

 

Slipknot: Evil, we’ll be waiting.

 

Slipknot then disappear in a mist of darkness yet to return again.

 

50 Cent: Did it start to rain? I feel something on my back.

 

Eminen: Yeah….rain

 

50: Cuz It’s funny, it’s only raining well, on me!

 

Chester: Forget it! Damn you guys are a bunch of sissies. We’re going to have to get the crowd’s attention.

 

Eminem: Ok, I’ll do it.

 

Eminem runs to the mike.

 

Eminem: Detroit!

 

The mass audience is unable to hear the 11 year old girl on helium and ignores the rapper.

 

Chester: Let me try…Lying my way from yooooooou!!!!!! I wanna be pushed aside so let me goooooooo!

 

The crowd roars

 

Chester: It seems like I got their attention.

 

Eminem: Yeah, and then some.

 

Chester: All right. Let’s get this started. Prepare for the Encore! We’re having Detroit’s finest and myself to see which lyricist has what it takes to win.