uwantme2b VS Shadowed Heart

[brokenangel]

hey i hope you feel better and good luck to both of you!! (nice attitude btw..the whole 'it's just fun'... that's good, that's how i also look at it )

[killerfishy]

good job riss. i thought you weren't going to tell any1 bout that. but good uck to both of you.

[Shadowed Heart]

Thnx sis'. I miss you and can't wait til' you get back.*hugs* (How lame, she won't even see this until' she gets back!)

[uwantme2b]

Okay, well I finished.

I'm not happy with this at all, but it will have to do, because I'm still sick. This is nowhere near as good as SH's, but eh, I tried.

 

 

 

Rain.

Rain that washes around these feet,

These feet placed on the bridge between us.

You won’t follow me, and I won’t follow you

These feet, in the middle of the bridge between us.

If I jumped, would it stop the rain?

Stop the tears, stop the pain?

I’m just a statistic,

A statistic you made; I am controlled

You make the clouds in my perfect sky,

And the rain that washes around these feet,

That stand on the middle of the bridge between us.

Where is your charm now, father?

Where are the cruel insults? In the water,

Beneath the bridge on which I stand.

I don’t want to jump but I can,

Because I know now how to control you.

I am sick of being used and now,

I am taking charge.

I can only wait for the sun so long.

It’s time now for me to go home,

Because the memories of you,

Won’t leave me alone.

[Shadowed Heart]

*Claps, throws roses, whistles and shouts*

 

YAY!!! Very good!!!!!

[azemkamikaze03]

this made my voting about 100 times difficult

[ForgottenKid]

I agree with azem. Umm but Im gonna vote for uwantme2b becasue I liked the ending and I feel like its a little more stronger than SH's. Great job both of you.

[azemkamikaze03]

i think i might give it to SH...but i really like uw's

[o0SugaxNxSpice0o]

Gosh! Both poems were awesome. They were lovely and I felt really sad reading them *Tear* Well done to the both of you seriously!!! I don't know who to vote for and I feel torn between 2 great writers...

 

...I think I'll vote for Becks. *So sorry Shadowed Heart!*. Both poems were beautiful. <3 Carry on writing!

[twilightcrimson7]

wow, both were really AWESOME! Riss, yours was blunt and emotional...good stuff!!

and Becky's was really strong and metiphorical

though its tough, I go with Becky's

[XERO-Limit]

I like the way Uwantme2be's started out with the rain/water and ended with memories.Something about that turns me on.I just overall loved it.And SH's I could really feel the sorrow but I'm going to have to go with Uwantme2b b/c I really liked the form and the story it told.

[gaia89]

i think i might give it to SH...but i really like uw's

 

 

and u're voting for.....?

[immortal89]

Ok, it's really hard to vote because both of them are so interconnected, you know the whole rain hting ...

 

uwantme2b - very strong and emotional, esp. the father bit, really that poem can give nightmares

 

Shadowed Heart - u have made the poem simplistic and blunt but emotional, your meotions flow very clearly

 

I vote for Shadowed Heart, since his/her poem has more flow and no effort is hsown to stop the emotions being expressed.

[gaia89]

my vote goes to Uwantme2be as she handled the topic better. And great contents..

[brokenangel]

CONGRATULATIONS BECKS!!! YOU WON!!! *throws roses and claps* ... was i not supposed to do that?? anyway...you're going to the next round..dun dun dunnnnn have fun! and shadowed heart...this may sound REALLY cliche..but i also really liked yours...and like you said... it's all about having fun anyway

[uwantme2b]

Yay! Thank you brokenangel!

Well done SH. Your poem was really good.

[immortal89]

Congratulations to the winner.

 

Shadowed Heart keep those great poems coming in!!

[gaia89]

yup..SH, keep the great poems coming in.Both of u are great writers and it's sad that there has to be a winner. But,keeping writing! there will always be another poetry tournery,either organised by me or anyone else