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  1. 1. Do you like it?

    • I love this journal!
      8
    • Its alright.
      3
    • Mediocre
      0
    • Where's the beef?
      7


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  • 5 months later...
  • Replies 146
  • Created
  • Last Reply

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Posted

I have resurrected this a vent...for my emotional turmoil. Seems I am quite a smart guy...I'm dating a girl for ten months and now I like someone else.

 

Frankly, I don't even like my girlfriend that much anymore. We got along but she just isn't what I want in my life...I feel like I can't be myself around. The things that really interest me, she doesn't even care about. I always end up bored when I'm with her, because she is just, well, boring.

 

I mean, dammit, I told myself I wouldn't let this happen...then I told myself it wasn't happening...but then it did happen. This other girl is really fun to be with and she is never boring. I would know...because we had a thing last year. It tanked though, because of me. I got mad when I was told she was still wanting to be with her ex, but it turns out that was a lie.

 

Either way, I'm in a fucked up situation. And the fact is...I can't take this anymore...it hurts my head and my heart so much to be with one girl but wanting another. I am going to go nuts if I don't figure something out.

And then I felt chills in my bones / The breath I saw was not my own

I knew my skin that wrapped my frame / Wasn't made to play this game

XXI

Posted

**emo entry - you've been warned**

 

 

 

 

WELL, LETS SEE I LEARNED WHY PEOPLE ARE DRIVEN TO CUT THEMSELVES TODAY WHEN I READ THIS.

 

""what a look for in a guy...

 

he has to play an instrument of some sort and he has to be passionate about music...not playing really, just music in general.

 

he listens to what I have to say, I don't have to go through the relationship wondering if I'm actually liked (or loved)

 

he needs to like my friends or at least tolerate them well

 

he needs to appriciate me absolute wierdness, that I say stupid stuff a lot, and I'm not like other people

 

he needs to be his own person, he needs to be able to say what's on his mind, no matter what anyone thinks

 

he should like cool indie films and late night discussions and trying new things and sponinaity to make up for my lack of.""

 

 

you know its this kind of stuff that makes me want to take a blow to the head...i would rather that then what has really happened. I stabbed myself in the heart. That up there, that is what I want in my life. I want THAT. This is the girl I want to be with...but no, i fucked it up. i had to go out with someone else. Its taken me ten months to finally realize i just missed the girl I've wanted, but i cant do anything because im going out with another girl! Damn it!

 

"Love stinks!"

And then I felt chills in my bones / The breath I saw was not my own

I knew my skin that wrapped my frame / Wasn't made to play this game

XXI

Posted
So...another day.

This week a girl from my past, who ended up blowing me off for someone else, came back to me on her hands and knees begging for a second chance. I basically told her that there was not going to be a chance, that it was in the past and that was the end of it. It may be harsh, but this girl crushed me and now, after I am happy again, the woman comes back to try and rock my boat yet again!

 

I should have taken her back...im such an asshole sometimes. If I had known the truth, known that I had been lied too about her going out with someone else behind my back. I can't believed I believed that bullcrap - and I can't believe a person I trusted told me.

 

Life is full of surprises. :(

And then I felt chills in my bones / The breath I saw was not my own

I knew my skin that wrapped my frame / Wasn't made to play this game

XXI

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

None of that above, is no one's fault but mine...I'm the damn fool who is in love with two girls.

I just wish this hadn't happened. This sucks...its awful.

And then I felt chills in my bones / The breath I saw was not my own

I knew my skin that wrapped my frame / Wasn't made to play this game

XXI

Posted
I just got a job at Taco Bell. LETS CELEBRATE! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

And then I felt chills in my bones / The breath I saw was not my own

I knew my skin that wrapped my frame / Wasn't made to play this game

XXI

Posted
Go Taco Bell!!!

[broken External Image]:http://img65.imageshack.us/img65/2024/jjsigcopysh3.jpg

[broken External Image]:http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/2696/21fv1.jpg

http://www.sucksbbs.net/data/MetaMirrorCache/0e95bf2e43a7435da74db1da86fac0d9.png

 

MySpace! Add Me!

Posted
I just trashed my car! And my heart is torn to pieces over two different girls! But hey, I've got a 512 dollar check coming next week, so that should keep me from going crazy! Ya!

And then I felt chills in my bones / The breath I saw was not my own

I knew my skin that wrapped my frame / Wasn't made to play this game

XXI

Posted
Ha! I'm spending $230 dollars ona new window and side mirror...how much wiser can you get?

And then I felt chills in my bones / The breath I saw was not my own

I knew my skin that wrapped my frame / Wasn't made to play this game

XXI

Posted

Saturday is really going to suck...because I'm going to my girlfriend's band contest. But, the other girl I like is going to be there too...so chances are we will have to cross paths. I don't want to do that at all...

But hey, I'll have ym car fixed by then, and I will finally be done with McDonald's. Hoorah! I can't wait to start at Taco Bell...I'm sick of Ronald's bullcrap.

 

And I'm keeping/stealing my hat. Screw 'em!

And then I felt chills in my bones / The breath I saw was not my own

I knew my skin that wrapped my frame / Wasn't made to play this game

XXI

Posted
Last day at work! Woo! It was pretty sweet...except alot of people were really bummed out about me not being there again. That was kind of sad...but, I have alot of friends at Taco Bell so that should be sweet. I can't wait to start there next week! w00t!

And then I felt chills in my bones / The breath I saw was not my own

I knew my skin that wrapped my frame / Wasn't made to play this game

XXI

Posted
nothing like the pure appeal of workin a resturaunt.(fastfood in this case)

>>

The appeal is not in the fast food...but in the pay: I made 6.10 an hour, now I'll be making 7.25!

Now that rocks! :thumbsup: ;)

And then I felt chills in my bones / The breath I saw was not my own

I knew my skin that wrapped my frame / Wasn't made to play this game

XXI

Posted

Hey I'm with you. I mean I'd tottaly work there if I wasn't half mexican. I'm trying to stay away from stereotypes. XD

 

Personally I couldn't stand working in a resturant. It's just to gross/hectic for me. I mean not to say I'm not willing to get my hands dirty to get earn pay, but I mean I'd rather work underneath a car for 14.75 an hour. (by the way I think Clogz and I can both agree working at Taco Bell or the local Tune Up shop sucks were just tryin to earn a couple of dollars)

¿whysoserious?
Posted

Okay. I'm fucked. I'm really fucked...I basically have to choose between two girls now.

 

Someone shoot me...dying would be easier then this shit. I'm fucked.

And then I felt chills in my bones / The breath I saw was not my own

I knew my skin that wrapped my frame / Wasn't made to play this game

XXI

Posted

Well, I was hella-late for work this morning....usually I get in at six, but I got there at eight thirty. Thank goodness I make my own hours, otherwise I would have been screwed. After work I ate at taco Bell, then went across town to check out the new Taco Bell where I will be working...I'll just have to post some pictures in here...because words can't describe how awesome this place is! I've never seen a Taco Bell like it, ever!

Right now I'm eating a bowl of Cheerios, and trying to forget the old blues....just trying to move forward.

My youth pastor wants to know if I would like to help lead/mentor the junior high kids at my old youth group...I will have to be doing some prayer about that. Right now, I'm not sure what to say to that.

Well, I'm out. Peace.

And then I felt chills in my bones / The breath I saw was not my own

I knew my skin that wrapped my frame / Wasn't made to play this game

XXI

  • 10 months later...
Posted

Wow. This is "hella-old". Hhaha.

 

Its time for an update of the last five months, considering that I have had a million people wondering where I was.

 

1. I went to college.

 

2. My relationship imploded in Early Febuary, so i have been single since sometime before Valentine's Day. It lasted a year and a half...sadly, my ex had a schitzophrenic breakdown because I broke it off...she was seeing stuff and started getting really paranoid with a ton of scary stories. Then she stalked me for three months and wouldn't leave me alone and I almost had to call the police. But, thats all said and done with.

 

3. I went to college to write, but I had a renewal of the spirit, and re-dedicated my life to Christ. Soon after that, I dropped writing and I'm now pursuing a degree in Youth Ministry.

Yea...I'm gonna be a youth pastor. Anyway, I'm pretty open about my faith so please ask questions!

 

4. I've gotten control of my caffiene addiction

 

5. I quit taco bell in january, went back in June, and just quit again three days ago.

 

6. I am punk now, one of those really really laid back ones who don't care about anything. Really...the only things I care about are my friends and doing God's work in the world.

 

7. I totally had a mohawk but I cut it off for my friend's wedding. If you want pics they'll get posted.

 

Anyway...I'm not on here all the time so if by chance you want to stay in touch beyond LPF reach me here:::

 

www.myspace.com/clogz7

 

or...

 

hunt me down on facebook. Name is Clint Mullet. You should only get one result. LOLZ.

And then I felt chills in my bones / The breath I saw was not my own

I knew my skin that wrapped my frame / Wasn't made to play this game

XXI

Posted

Holy crap, welcome back dude.

 

It's totally surprising that you're so pious now (but totally cool) I've never met anyone who made such a stark decision... wow.

Well good luck with that!

http://www.sucksbbs.net/data/MetaMirrorCache/caa111db447cb1d28d713cebad979c8d.png

 

...:away and onward:...

Posted
whats a pastor?

 

iam mors sola fuga est

 

 

[broken External Image]:http://img409.imageshack.us/img409/9977/n76430001741552817731hb2.jpg

Posted

Welcome back!

 

Uh, that must be really interesting to see...a pastor who's also a punk...cool...

And it's nice you found yourself in faith...

http://www.sucksbbs.net/data/MetaMirrorCache/8b479714c2981449a34f1f582adc8fb2.jpg

...ljubim...<3

Posted
well welcome back!! ^.^

 

I don't know you much but meh... lol

 

You're a pastor and punk at the same time? O.o

 

Haha, one of my best friends from college is a metalhead, and he is gonna be a youth pastor too. Hoodies, studded belts, black clothes, dyed hair, the works.

 

Some Christians may freak out at people like me, or him, but hey - one of the most amazing things about Jesus is that he loves ya no matter what color your hair...which is more than you can say for some people in the church, you know?

 

Before you can be real with God, you have to be real with yourself. A cookie cutter image isn't what being a Christian is about.

 

All that said...I do miss my mohawk.

And then I felt chills in my bones / The breath I saw was not my own

I knew my skin that wrapped my frame / Wasn't made to play this game

XXI

Posted
whats a pastor?

 

Its a fancy word for, I'll sit down with you and tell you anything you want to know.

And should you accept Jesus, I'll help lead you in the right direction.

And then I felt chills in my bones / The breath I saw was not my own

I knew my skin that wrapped my frame / Wasn't made to play this game

XXI

Posted
Holy crap, welcome back dude.

 

It's totally surprising that you're so pious now (but totally cool) I've never met anyone who made such a stark decision... wow.

Well good luck with that!

 

I'm better off than I have been in a long time. College did wonders for me.

I have been a Christian for about three years now...but during college I realized that God had bigger plans for me than just writing...he wanted me involved in his plans for the future directly. On the front lines.

 

Which, I have discovered, I'm liking more and more.

And then I felt chills in my bones / The breath I saw was not my own

I knew my skin that wrapped my frame / Wasn't made to play this game

XXI

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