By_My-$elf's journal

[By_My-elf]

Hey Allie yes you did I remember you did I think o.O

And I've been fine I'm okay and just more happy knowing that

the store won't be open tommorow So I don't have to go in ^.^

[allieking]

ooooooo no work for shaun

 

i had today off because my daughter is ill

[By_My-elf]

Thats must've felt great -.-;

but not for your kid o.o;

[allieking]

actually it was horrible, i was tired because i only had 3 hours sleep and i couldn't go to bed

[By_My-elf]

Whoa man sounds like me last night and now >.<

I couldn't sleep I had to try hard and only got a few hours a sleep

I'm really tired right now but I'm gonna have COFFEE @_@ soon

[Sygy]

SHAUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

go to bed if ur tired

btw i can see you! ur sitting at your computer

[By_My-elf]

LMAO yes I'am O.o XP

I can't go back to bed cause I have to clean up again soon o.o;

[Sygy]

why? are you dirty

shaun m'dear did we not have the hygine talk?

[By_My-elf]

LMAO yes we did O.o;

[Sygy]

what!!!! did we i am soo confused T.T

im soo happy yay!!!!!!!

umm go clean!!!! i hate dirt

[By_My-elf]

Update Well my life is fine

my aunt got an emergency Surgery yesterday

due to hard time breathing

she has breast Cancer she had 2 years to live this is her last year

Well me I can't help but think she's dead

I don't mind just hope her soul goes down peacefully

I know she's good as dead just Glad she';s been around

not gonna let it hurt me to make me suicidal...

[stupidsoul1]

I am so sorry to hear that, my aunty died from cancer almost 2 years ago..it still feels like it was recently.

I hope she can make it through.

[crazy robster]

Hi Shaun darling...so sorry to hear about your auntie....Just don't let this break you down hon, alright? Take care...

[By_My-elf]

Well thanks alot you too

okay an update now =\

well today I just went to work but not really I was onyl their for a while

especially knowing that my aunt was in the hospital somewhere far from here

and I couldn't do anyhting about it or see her

She died quarter after eight in my time

I knew today,I knew everyhting would be goin down the drain

I knew I would have a bad day for some reason before it happened

Me and my cousin went running over to my grandmas

She was crying for so long way before we even went their

the whole Fam gathered their

IDK me I'm not the same anymore

Not in the mood to be retarded anymore

so yeah.....pretty soon I'll have a LPF break or not

Don't know yet >.>

[Lenneh]

My sincere condolances, Shaun.. and the best luck to you and your relatives in the coming period..

[By_My-elf]

Yeah thanks alot Len and also that

what makes it worse to top everyhting off

is my dad left us for drinking agian I knew it would happen

and I found out today on my own

so Right now I'm pissed off yet depressed at the same time >.<

so Heres one thing I have to say right now

LIFE IS A BITCH!!!

I just finished coming from a walk in the rain shoutting away

I"m just so pissed Right now

[Lenneh]

I can understand that Shaun, seriously I can, your dad should know better..

If you ever need to talk PM or ask my msn to Franka..

[By_My-elf]

Okay thanks alot but right now I'm just thinking shit through as usual

and I'm about to head out for a walk I don't care at all if it's raining hard

or if theirs really big lightning I've walked through that all the time

so yeah I just need to cool off right now

and think about stuff I need to do to get rid of these problems....

but one thing is for sure The pain will always be their

and won't go away I've tried thinking positive all day for my cousin

who was really close to her and I tried to be strong for everyone who talked to me

but my friends when they bitched at me about bein STUCK UP

eerr they shouldn't even be my friends if their gonna think like that

I just got mad and started snappuin on them

I didn't care how I made them felt but by tommorow their gonna try and talk to me again and give me all this sorry boulshit

I'm just gonna tell'em to save it I'm not gonna bother with them for a while...

[Lenneh]

Well you should just do what you think is right to get through all this, so if that includes walking..

And yes those 'friends' of yours are really great.. -.-

[By_My-elf]

Yeah well my friends sound like bitches,

but they've been their for me when I needed it most but right now

I'll just have to go with my Anti-social person right now

shit man theirs just soo much running through my head

I hate it when I shout out loud from bein so mad

I don't like it when ppl stare at me I just Snap on them too

awww man I'm just pissed off right now

when I need someone to talk to right now

she's never aorund but once things get better I see her around

but I hope I see her tommorow I really neeed to talk to her so bad

and if you ask who it's just a close friend of mine her name if Faith

not my cousin a friend from back then both faiths been my friend since I was young

My friend faith joined here before she hasn't really been on

but I just need to talk to her right now >.<

my head hurts from so much thinking about stuff so yeah

I'm gonna go for a walk in about 15-20 mins.......

.....eerrr my friends I don't need them right now

just the ppl who know somthingas wrong with me without

me telling them sick of ppl acting like my friends if they don't know anyhtings right.

 

Oh and sorry for bein so random I just needed to let that out.

[Lenneh]

Thats fine, I always keep things to myself and then I just have a major 'bad mood day', but you just.. throw it out right away, but thats not a problem if it makes you feel better:)

[By_My-elf]

and thanks alot for listenin

but I should just let everything go right now

but Seriously I need to get high right now >.<

just to let loose and let go

Weed just stimulates my mind

and helps me trhough times like this..

oh yeah really I appreciate this.

[Lenneh]

You're welcome. :thumbsup:

[By_My-elf]

yeah

and I just got back from my little walk I better head to bed

have a big day ahead and I'm suppose to be up by 11:00am =\

and it's also 4:13am here -.-;

I better head to bed or stay up all night long >.<

which would be hard

the walk helped me out think stuff through and cooled me off a bit

but once I got to the school couldn't help but punch the walls

and Shout out Fuck

that mostly cooled me off

so yea I think I'll pull an all nighter and I'm gonna have to bring on the Coffeh o.o;

 

I'm hungry too haven't eaten all day same as drank anyhting all day long

I never ate or drank anyhting since I woke up O.O;

[Lenneh]

lol just as long you don't die out of starvations..

 

I have to go to work soon too -.- I hate it, I'll have like.. more money then I can spend in a bit WTF O.o......