Pull the Trigger

[Hyper]

Don't mind the title. I have my gun next to me, so it made sense. What this post is about, is pretty much how I feel regarding two things that have effected me recently. Heart break and Sex. Just read it, you might like it.

 

============================

 

So one of my good friends recently broke up with his girlfriend. We won't go into detail about who, or why. It happened. And, one thing I noticed, was the similarities between their breakup and the breakup I went through with my ex. So I was laying in bed, just thinking. And this wondrous quote popped into my head. I do not know if anyone's said it before, but yeah.

 

Pretty much;;

 

"The facilitator of heartbreak is none other than love." - Isaac Kauwe

 

Now; I know coming from a teenager, this seems quite hard to comprehend. But think about it, if you never love anybody, there's no way your heart can break. This realization brings me to a controversy that I've mulled over in my head for about a year now. It raises one question.

 

What is love?

 

Virtually every adult will tell you that teenagers do not know what love is. They've only experienced heavy infatuation. Now, I used to totally be against this, but I've realized it's somewhat true. Nobody can actually define love. It's a feeling, an emotion. People can tell you signs of love, even "side effects" of love. But nobody can tell you what love is.

 

I've argued this with so many people. But nobody can undeniably define love. So what makes teenagers think they're in love? Is it the fact that they want to advance their relationship so fast? Based on today's media, that wouldn't be a hard scenario to believe. Sex. Love. Scandals. It seems to be all teens think about. Well, the teens that are recognized by adults, and the public.

 

I believe they've effectively been labeled 'preppy'. Because of the way they dress, the way they act, who they hang out with. They make up the majority of schools, creating popularity and peer pressure. But what about everybody else. In order for people to be popular, there have to be unpopular people.

 

That's where I belong. I am not popular. I do not hang out with the people who's worries consist of who's going to be eliminated from American Idol, or which party they're going to this weekend.

 

What's my take on love? I do not know. I used to, don't get me wrong. I used to think I knew what love is. I even thought my heart had been broken and it's taken me almost a year to realize how wrong I was. I figure, if you love someone, you wouldn't be able to get over them. You wouldn't be able to stop thinking about them, when they've made so many decisions, that you do not agree with. Not only do you not agree with them, but they're things that repel you from certain people. Had I truly loved her, I wouldn't be over her right now, and I would be dead. I won't go into the later of the two.

 

 

 

 

So what about sex? That seems to be another controversial matter on my school campus. Is it cool? Is it right? Are you a virgin?

 

I have no shame in admitting that I am a virgin. It's actually something I take pride in. I've even been commended on it. By people I hang out with, by my parents, and even by some of my brother's friends. On the flip side of that coin, I've been made fun of for it too, which doesn't quite make sense to me.

 

I suppose it's the fact that people hold different values regarding sex. I see it as something so meaningful, that at my age, I cannot comprehend how meaningful it is. So, if I cannot comprehend the emotional aspect behind sex, why would I indulge in the act?

 

I was watching television this evening. The guy on the screen was talking about how we cannot live without sex. Which, I believe is not true. We can, I've lived the first seventeen years of my life without sex, and I am still as sane as anybody else. Okay, well that could be argued, but as a whole, my mentality is just as intact as someone who's God's gift to women. I believe it's not that we cannot live without sex, it's that people started having sex at such a young age, it's become sort of addicting. Kind of like alcohol, or drugs, people have become addicted to sex.

 

Now, girls who are addicted to sex are commonly viewed as sluts, or whores, depending on if they get paid. And guys are viewed as pimps, if they sleep with multiple women. I believe that societies double standard regarding this has degraded women to the level that they believe they're no better than Miss Betty Hobilly on the television. Granted, a lot of the females I surround myself with have a lot stronger personality than to sink that low. But again, the "mainstream" teenagers, if you will, are who I am referring to.

 

So girls have developed a stereotypical male. Pretty much, he only wants sex, food, and beer. Which is totally unfair to the guys who are better than that, and actually want a relationship, and to have a good time, without sex. I suppose all guys do have sexual desires. Something I thought of earlier extricated a chuckle from myself.

 

"Show me a man without sexual desire and I shall show you a liar." - Isaac Kauwe

 

Having sexual desires is not a sin. It's human nature, to reproduce, that's why I have a penis, and females have a vagina. However, acting on these sexual desires is what I believe causes somebody to lose character.

 

In closing, just treat people right. And don't go around screwing anything with the reproductive organ that fits with yours. Hell, don't screw anything that's the same gender as you either. Just live life. You don't need sex to do it. A relationship would make life better. But don't give up.

[Jeezy]

Everything you said is right....so I don't know what to tell on this...you made everything clear....and I totally agree with your oppinion... :thumbsup:

[LPGirl]

veryy true and well said isaac.

 

yeah its really shameful how many girls my age*16* have had sex with numrous boys the same age, older and younger then themselfs whats even worse that some are pregnate(sp?) or have a child.

 

i hate it how the mainstream veiw of a relationship between a man and women is pretty much based on sex and what i hate more is a lot of guys not all but the majority of guys*well where i live, etc* wont have a relationship with a girl unless she puts out or whatever and then ends up cheat on her anyway.

 

i'm also proud to say im a virgin, but then again ive never had a relationship but if or when i do, i most likely wont give "it" to them, i want to wait, and make it special.

 

its just not something you can give away to the first guy you meet, its something very special that you can never get back once its lost and thats what a lot of people now days have forgotten.

[Sygy]

i agree with you and most of what you have written. And after reading your posts a numerous amount of times i understand it and i have taken a good look at myself and some of my behaviour. the only things that bugs me is this:

 

Hell, don't screw anything that's the same gender as you either.

 

so, do you see gay sex as wrong?

[Jeezy]

so' date=' do you see gay sex as wrong?[/quote']

 

I don't think it's wrong...but I won't do it...that's just my oppinion

[Black_Angel]

Wow... amen to that.

[azemkamikaze03]

That's was a fairly long segment so I admit I didn't read all of it. And I agree with you to an extent.

 

According to The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition, Love is

"A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness."

 

The Etymology* os the word is:

Middle English, from Old English lufu; akin to Old High German luba love, Old English lEof dear, Latin lubEre, libEre to please

 

So love has a definition. I am pretty sure this is 100% accurate on the definition of love. But just becuase that is the technical term doesn't mean that is the way it is used. I (over the past few years) have come to catagorize love into 3 basic and somewhat easy to understand concepts.

 

• The First and probably most common version of Love is actually not love. It is Lust. For instance spotting a bueatiful women walking past and saying you love her is not truely love. It is mearly just lust. You do not love the person. She does not please you in the sense that she will make you happy for the rest of your life. Sure you might say "Oh if we could just have sex forever life would be a dream" Truth is sex gets old. When you constantly have sex over and over and over with the same girl it tends to get repetitive. You are mearly just feeling lust.
   
  
• This is were things start getting deeper. Now you know the person. You may flirt alot and tend to hang out. Everytime you see her/him your heart beats and you get excited. This must be love right? No, see and this is were people get mad and start flaming me for being an ignorant asshole who knows nothing about love. So your best friends and you feel as though you can live the rest of your life with that person. That means nothing. Love is filled with the little things that noone thinks about. When lets say you get married. Are you going to be willing to go buy your girl tampons at a store? When your man stops showing the love he used to show nonstop for you for a period of time are you just going to get up and leave? Are you just going to say ohwell, things just got kind of old so I figured we needed a change? Chances are the majority of Bf/gf relationships aren't revovled around that. Alot of people arent looking for a wife when they go out. They just want someone. It's liek kids with Ipods or Cellphones...they want one becuase everyone else has one.
   
  
• This last one is the catagorey of True Love. True love will never break. No matter what. If you truely deep down inside love someone no matter what happens you will always have them in your heart. At nights when your with your new lover the person you truely love will be in your mind. The person you'd seriously no doubt in your mind would die to spend the rest of your life with, the person that if today or tommorow had a stroke and was paralyzed youd be by his or hers bedside everyday trying to make her day. The person that if she/he got surgery you'd bathe her/him, help them use the bathroom, cook for them, put up with their BS, youd do what ever you could to make them happy. That's true love. When there is no boundaries.
  

 

With that being said Love is a four letter word. It is not one to be trusted. It is just about as true as Energizers saying "It keep's going and going and going." The majority of love dies out. Be it a 50 years to 5 months. Sometimes love wont last. It's what you make of it. Obviously if someone steps all over your heart and ruins you you might not love them anymore and thats understandable. Love is possibly the most difficult things to understand. It's just a flexible word. You use it however you think is best. Obviously these are jusy my opinions and obviously there will be the few people who don't agree and say "Oh well its not the same for me." And tries to cover up just so they can have some kind of glory of proving someone wrong. Issac, I'm not dissagreeing with you but I'm not totaly seeing eye to eye on your statments so I figured I'd make my beliefs loud and clear for people to hate. Anyone and everyone can love. It's just a matter of what catagorey you fall under and how long you last.

 

 

*Etymology is the study and understanding of words and their origins.

[Hyper]

i agree with you and most of what you have written. And after reading your posts a numerous amount of times i understand it and i have taken a good look at myself and some of my behaviour. the only things that bugs me is this:

 

 

 

so, do you see gay sex as wrong?

 

no; i'm just saying don't screw anything. lol.

[Hyper]

and azem; i see where you're coming from. but this goes back to how people feel about love. to me, love is a feeling, and no dictionary, or person, can define a feeling, because it is different to every person. which is what makes it so cliche.

[azemkamikaze03]

and azem; i see where you're coming from. but this goes back to how people feel about love. to me' date=' love is a feeling, and no dictionary, or person, can define a feeling, because it is different to every person. which is what makes it so cliche.[/quote']

 

 

Yes, but I'm pretty sure love in general is not a negative right? It cuases you to feel good. That's the basic definition of it. If it makes you feel good. I mean massages make me feel good so I love them, but obviously I dont love it as much as I love my mom. See there is a definition for love itself. Love infact is so damn basic it's not even that hard. It's just wondering or not if you truley love something or if your just saying that. Which is why I have thoes three catagoreies. Obviously there is a fasle sense of love, but love is not an opinion. What is an opinion is attraction. Attraction varies from person to person. I am attracted to girls shorter that me. You might on the other hand like tall muscular girls(lol). Attraction is what fuels love. If you are not attracted to someone then you wont love them. So love doesnt vary for someone. Love is love. You dont say I'm in stage one love. Its just either your in love.

 

Love is just a stronger more passionate word than like. Love shows more affection.

 

Keep in mind when I say love I mean as in the romantic type bf/gf type. You can say like Hey Issac man ur like a brother to me...and I love you dawg, but i mean that dont mean im like attracted to you. That's where lines might get confused. But Love is like a multi use word depending on what context you use it in.

 

As for having Sex.

 

 

I am not a virgin. With that being said I am not a horrible person. If you are a virgin and want to continue to abstain then by all means continue. For a 15 year old to engage in sex is not exactly a smart Idea. I did it. Not becuase I thought I was in love, but becuase I wanted to expirience it for myself and see if it really was good. Or if it was all a bunch of lies. It was good, but I mean I really dont think it's worth the risk. becuase I didnt love the girl I had sex with, and Im pretty sure she didnt love me. Imagine if my condom broke and she got like pregnant?!! You shouldnt save sex until your sure ur in love. And then at least use some sort of contrceptant. Its not worth having a kid when your real young. Wait until your married in order to skip the condoms.

 

but yeah i guess this is were i contrast hyper, becuase I dress Gangster-Prepish and hand with a more "popular" if thats what u wanna call it crowd, infact im friends with everyone. But I use my status to help the kids who get picked on. I prevent lots of trouble and im overall a good guy despite the stereotype people attempt to lable me....but yeah....once ur in love...have sex....once ur married....and ur ready to have kids, then drop the condoms...

 

plus u really dont wanna get like HIV and shit...3rd stage syphilis isnt something you wanna have....Who ever said condums take away the feel are dumb...sure it kinda adds a weird feel, but I mean...its .... well i dont wanna explain the feelin, but your not missin a whooole lot with it on...

[meteora500]

Both of you have very good points and I agree with all of them, despite the slight contrast you have. As for me, I have never had sex, and dont plan on it for a long time. I've never been in a relastionship, and although I wouldn't mind having one, its definatly not a top priority in my life. And I have never been in love with anybody outside of family, best friends, and that general area....yeah...

anyways, very good arguments! it made for a very interesting read

[Reflectionist]

See the attachment....

[Hyper]

Yes, but I'm pretty sure love in general is not a negative right? It cuases you to feel good. That's the basic definition of it. If it makes you feel good. I mean massages make me feel good so I love them, but obviously I dont love it as much as I love my mom. See there is a definition for love itself. Love infact is so damn basic it's not even that hard. It's just wondering or not if you truley love something or if your just saying that. Which is why I have thoes three catagoreies. Obviously there is a fasle sense of love, but love is not an opinion. What is an opinion is attraction. Attraction varies from person to person. I am attracted to girls shorter that me. You might on the other hand like tall muscular girls(lol). Attraction is what fuels love. If you are not attracted to someone then you wont love them. So love doesnt vary for someone. Love is love. You dont say I'm in stage one love. Its just either your in love.

 

Love is just a stronger more passionate word than like. Love shows more affection.

 

Keep in mind when I say love I mean as in the romantic type bf/gf type. You can say like Hey Issac man ur like a brother to me...and I love you dawg, but i mean that dont mean im like attracted to you. That's where lines might get confused. But Love is like a multi use word depending on what context you use it in.

 

As for having Sex.

 

 

I am not a virgin. With that being said I am not a horrible person. If you are a virgin and want to continue to abstain then by all means continue. For a 15 year old to engage in sex is not exactly a smart Idea. I did it. Not becuase I thought I was in love, but becuase I wanted to expirience it for myself and see if it really was good. Or if it was all a bunch of lies. It was good, but I mean I really dont think it's worth the risk. becuase I didnt love the girl I had sex with, and Im pretty sure she didnt love me. Imagine if my condom broke and she got like pregnant?!! You shouldnt save sex until your sure ur in love. And then at least use some sort of contrceptant. Its not worth having a kid when your real young. Wait until your married in order to skip the condoms.

 

but yeah i guess this is were i contrast hyper, becuase I dress Gangster-Prepish and hand with a more "popular" if thats what u wanna call it crowd, infact im friends with everyone. But I use my status to help the kids who get picked on. I prevent lots of trouble and im overall a good guy despite the stereotype people attempt to lable me....but yeah....once ur in love...have sex....once ur married....and ur ready to have kids, then drop the condoms...

 

plus u really dont wanna get like HIV and shit...3rd stage syphilis isnt something you wanna have....Who ever said condums take away the feel are dumb...sure it kinda adds a weird feel, but I mean...its .... well i dont wanna explain the feelin, but your not missin a whooole lot with it on...

 

 

i don't believe i said love was a negative. but it is the only possible way heartbreak can effect someone. that was meant as a warning, to be weary about love. i'm not talking about loving inanimate/intangible things. i'm talking about loving a person. i don't know how to say it, but there is no one way to define it. people think differently, so they define love differently, it's an individual kind of thing. it's such a fluid emotion, that you can't just say love is this. you can show examples of love manifested, like a couple just snuggling, and whispering to each other, that's an example. that's not love, it's too hard of a concept to grasp, what love actually is. now, there's the widely accepted, less thought provoking concept of saying love is an emotion that you feel when you're strongly attracted to a person. but that doesn't actualy define love.

[Shadowed Heart]

I am not a virgin.

May I ask when this happened?????

[ImTheOneThatFalls]

You are a prophet, great mind, the next da vinci.

[stupidsoul1]

I take damn good care of my virginity.

my friend always makes fun of me, because i have said i would of slept with my ex if he asked polietly. But there is a difference between words and actions.

 

Majority of the people i know have lost it, few even became pregnant.

 

It's not the way i want to end up, and i refuse to become a statistic or pregnant.

 

I am not against love or sex. I is just not meant for me..and i am not too fond of it either.

[chez_19]

What about the talk of heartbreak people??

[Xblackwidow20X]

well 1st off....to even try to define love you had to think you experenced it. personally with love you get heart ache no matter what. either it dont work out, they lie or cheat on you, or they die. there is never a happy ending. yeah when your in love with someone its great, an awsome feeling and all.

 

sex has become a big part os todays society. what people forget is that there are std's and pregnecy. i love all these 16 year old grls getting pregnant. thats the basis of sex is to reproduce. we have just taken as making us feel good.

 

i am not a virgin. i lost it when i was 20 years old. to a man i DID love. we were going to get married. well he was a lier. him and I were together for 3 or 4 years when i finally slept with him. so it wasent somthing i steped into lightly. my newer bf i have known for 5 years b4 we started dateing. i have slept with him. i am goign to be 23 years old next month and i have only slept with to guys. both which i loved. so i still have my respect. and when you love someone it is somthing special to share with that person. so i say if your still a virgin. stay that way until you are ready. people said things about me beign a virgin. i ddint care at least i know i respected myself. and most people make fun of people who are cuz they are jelious and wish they would have saved theres for someone special.

 

Heart ache.... now this subject can go either way. its horrible. its amazing how one person can make you feel so good with love or so horrible with heart ache. but i also think heart ache is a consequence of love. nothing good comes from it. to many people lust now a days and they think its love. there are no happy endings. i have learned this. people are liers and cheaters. not me. but alot of people i know. and society thinks this is ok.

 

so at last good luck with love and heart ache and of course sex. none of them will bring you true happiness. theres always doubt. always worry.

[Clogz]

I personally think that our society has skewered the definition of love, which I believe is why some people, not just teenagers, are confused by the emotion itself. Our society is always, always, always tieing sex to love...

"If you love me, you'll have sex.." "Thats what people do, when they love each other.." You can it everywhere....but those two seem most prominent. The latter one is actually what seems to occur alot in kid's shows and movies. But I am digressing.

My point is that you don't need sex to be in love.

Like Hyper said, a relationship will make life better but that doesn't mean you have to have sex. I honestly believe that I am in love with my girlfriend, and we agreed a long time ago to one simple issue: "No sex." Because of that, I have been rediculed, even pressured, to do otherwise. But I won't.

Thats really the only point I wished to make, and to put it bluntly: Sex is not love, and love is not sex. Love is about the relationship, Sex is about lust. It is different. I won't even get into what love is though. I believe that question is unawnserable.