Yacky's Journal=p

[chesterfreak143]

HAHAHA!

 

matty is fatty!!!!!!

[Brkng_Th_Hbt]

Fatty Matty, haha.

 

Oh yeah, Hi!

 

::gives you some pancakes::

[chesterfreak143]

*eats pancakes*

 

thankies ryan:D

[chesterfreak143]

"Skin"

Alexz Johnson

 

I drift away to a place

Another kind of life

Take away the pain

I create my paradise

Everything I've held

Has hit the wall

What used to be yours

Isn't yours at all

 

Falling apart, and all that I'm asking:

Is it a crime, am I overreacting?

 

Oh, he's under my skin

Just give me something to get rid of him

I've got a reason now to bury this alive

Another little white lie

 

So what you had didn't fit

Among the pretty things

Never fear, never fear

I now know where you've been

Braids have been un-tied

As ribbons fall away

Leave the consequence

But my tears you'll taste

 

Falling apart and all that I question:

Is this a dream or is this my lesson?

 

[Oh, he's under my skin

Just give me something to get rid of him

I've got a reason now to bury this alive

Another little white lie]

 

I don't believe I'll be alright

I don't believe I'll be OK

I don't believe how you've thrown me away

I do believe you didn't try

I do blame you for every lie

When I look in your eyes,

I don't see mine

 

Oh, he's under my skin

Just give me something to get rid of him

I've got a reason now to bury this alive

Another little white lie

 

Oh my permission to sin

You might have started my reckoning

I've got a reason now to bury him alive

Another little white lie

[diana]

Hey, Yacky!

How are you? Long time no talk, huh?

Yeah, I know, it sucks as hell...

*hugs*

[chesterfreak143]

^

i know

hey! you guys! i'm here using a school computer, so gotta leave.

XD

love ya!

[chesterfreak143]

i know! i'm actually gonna write more than 5 sentences for once in my life

can you believe it?!

 

 

 

I havent told anyone about this before but i actually hate my grandma.

and that's wierd cos i dont hate alot of people.Well, i dislike a coupla people but never....like....hate, hate, HATE. i hate objects like......white chocolate, and chalkboards, but not actual human beings. I mean....you have to really, really, REALLY piss me off for me to actually say "i hate you"

 

But the point is i hate my grandma. i know half of you guys wont read this, so it's okay....but anyway. i just feel like letting it out.

havent talked about it aloud since it happened.

 

My parents and i had this bbq about four months ago, and my grandma was invited.

Well, a whole bunch of my mom and dad's freinds where there, cos it was kind of like a party. about two weeks before My grandma had asked me if i would like to go to New York with her during summer. I asked if my parents were going, and she said "no"

i said " then i dont wanna go".

Me, my parents and my brother are really close. we get along. I wasn't gonna go to New York to have fun, and leave my mom and dad here in Florida. i just wasnt.

So anyway two weeks after we have the bbq and my grandma brings up the subject again. She said to my mom "You dont want Yacky and Leo (my brother) to come with me. your such a jealos person!" well, she said this in spanish, and not exactly as nice as i've just restated. My grandma has always secretly disliked my mom, i dont know why....maybe just mommy jealosy or w/e.

So my grandma desides on having this full blown argument, in front of all these people with my mom. She said such horrible things. and the thing was that it was about me. And i was standing there the whole time, watching.

Then she got up and left my house. and that was the last time i've seen her.

Not only that, but she made up some shit, about my mom kicking her out of the house. when in fact she was the one who got up, and left, without a single goodbye.

 

It made me sad for a long time. but i now i know why.

 

All my life, I had created this image of her being so perfect. i had grown up with her, she had tought me how to speak spanish, and how to make chocolate milk.

But i never noticed that Grandma was the way she was. Selfish, critising, always wanting me to be perfect.

She would always look at me and go

"You need to loose a little weight yacky"

or

"Maybe you shouldn't wear so much eyeliner. it's so black. makes you look gothic."

and my personal fav

"I dont know why you look like such a Tom Boy all the time. if i were you, i would model, or do something better with my life."

 

And then she would acuse me of detaching myself from her.

saying i've got something againts her.

 

and i know she's doing it for the best of me. but she's ALWAYS critising me or telling me how i should improve this, do that, dress better, do you hair nicer, stop dying it so much blah, blah, blah.

but no. it was my fault.

 

Just like she blamed my mom for me not wanting to leave her behind.

 

Once she actually told my mom

"If you dont watch out, she'll end up a slut, and pregnant by the age of 16"

I found out about this later, cos nobody wanted to tell me. And when i found out, i didn't know what to do, so i just sat outside, and just thought.

 

That's when i stopped eating. I got super skinny, becos it seemed like everything was happing at once. that was like two days after Ramon and i had broken up. Mind you, we went out for like seven months and that shit was serious.

until i got my shit back together, and told myself not to let her bring me down.

I knew better.

 

So you see, i hate my grandma becos her love for me wasn't strong enough to keep in touch with me EVEN if she hated my mom.

She never calls, never writes, never anything.

it's like she never exsisted.

and i hate her for dissapearing from life.

[Shadowed Heart]

Yacky. I <3 your sig.

[chesterfreak143]

thankyou rissy. i love it too.

 

i'm obssesed with that blonde hunk with a paperclip attached to his lip

<3

[misery]

Wow. I'm really sorry about this whole thing. It's kind of like seeing your grandma through a whole new set of eyes.

 

I don't know, she seems like kind of an insecure person, as strange as that may seem for an elderly lady. As much as it may sound like I'm trying to crack a joke, perhaps she's going senile? That might have something to do with it. Or who knows, she could just be a really selfish person, and you just didn't notice it before because you were looking through a grandchilds eyes, as corny as that may sound. There's alot of.. well, sort of negative stuff I've noticed about my family as I've gotten older.

 

I don't know really what to say, lol. I just hope everything works out.

 

Take care.

[Shadowed Heart]

I think it's cleaver. lol

Go listen to this song. It SOOO speaks to me.

Lol

http://www.myspace.com/shadowed_heart317

[chesterfreak143]

omg!

 

that song is awesome!

i LOVE three Doors down=D

 

*downloaded*

^.^

 

EDIT- Matt: it's not corny. that's exactly how i see it.

i just couldn't word it correctly.

 

thanks for caring:)

[Shadowed Heart]

lol. ok. So Yacky...

Why don't you have Myspace or IM?

[chesterfreak143]

long story. and i'm sleepy.

 

 

i'll pm you tomorow, kay kay, rissy??

 

luf yew!!!

<3

[Shadowed Heart]

Ok, bye bye Yacky.

xxo

[Phranka]

ugh that's horrible.. I can understand why you'd wanna bring your family along since you're close to them.

your grandma sounds so selfish and recognizable >.<

 

definitely a person to hate :/

 

can you pm me too yacky.. I want an explanation haha.. I'm sure I'll understand

[chesterfreak143]

SUMMA SKOO IS OVER!!!

 

officially=p

 

now i get to sleeeepppp.....

oh my god, FINALLY!

 

Oh, that and i'm taking Italian in high school. Weird huh?

lol:D

 

coolness.

 

 

(and yes, i'm gonna send you that pm, franky and rissy:)

dont worry. i will:))

[misery]

lol, glad summer school's all done School.. in the summer.. must be unbearable.

[chesterfreak143]

you have nooooo idea.

 

i have learned my lesson.

 

I'm actually not THAT bad at math (well, i am. but not to be in summer school for it)

but i know why i got an F in my class.

I was sitting next to the guy i liked at that moment, and i payed more attention to him, than to the board.

 

shame on me

[misery]

Ah, I know how it is. Except it's usually a girl that I'm interested in :S lol

[Phranka]

hahah yea fo sho

[chesterfreak143]

lol:D

 

well. this guy ended up in summer school with me too.

 

so apperantly he wasn't paying attention either.

But he's got a girlfreind now, and i'm just not intrested.

 

lmao=D

[misery]

lol, lucky thing you weren't interested this time around then

[chesterfreak143]

yeah i know.

 

i would've been screwed if i was.

=D

 

But you know that summer school, saved me from MAJOR punishment...

my mom was like "i need to punish you for having to go to summer school".

and i was like "mom....isn't having to go, punishment enough??"

she said

"your right".

and i didn't get into trrouoobbbllleeee:D

 

woOt WoOt=D

[keza]

lmfao...what punishment was she going to give yoo? 0.o

rofl