Riss'z Journal

[Sponge]

Wow! That's....quit a lot!!!!

[Shadowed Heart]

Yeah so?

 

So... I wish I could feel nothing again.

It's better than whatever it is I'm feeling now.

It's such a strange feeling. I think it should feel good but it's kinda painful tbh. oO

I want it gone! God damn. How do I describe this? I don't know if I can.

I want to just cry until my pillow is tear-soaked an snot covered (TMI, I know), but then again... I want to scream to the word my undying and passionate love for Taylor. But THEN I start thinking about things and just... want to collapse to the ground and die. BUT! I remember how happy I was when I was around him... then how much he hurt me... and this is all in like 1 second! I hate it, because I'm not sure what to feel.

And I'm trying my very hardest to not text/call him right now...

[Sponge]

I'm just saying that's a lot of qoutes!

 

Does this feeling confuses you?

[Shadowed Heart]

Yes sir it does. It's quite irritating. I'm sick of my feelings being all about him.

 

I wish things could go back to how they were when he really DID care about me.

[Sponge]

Hmmm man. I'm not sure how to help you. All I did to my crush was just not talk/call/interact/etc. with her. I mean I didn't talk to her for 5 months. I mean I know it's easier said than done, but try not to talk to him. I hope this helps.

[Shadowed Heart]

Lol. I've tried that. I have withdrawls. BAD ones. I hyperventalate, cry, and get really irritable. *sigh*

Anywho my AP test is tomorrow... Goodnight...

[Sponge]

Hmmm Wow. That didn't happened to me. Maybe your taking this too serious!

[Shadowed Heart]

hmm...

 

Friday: I think i did okay on my test. Went out to breakfast and then went to school for the test. I think I did okay. All I can say is: I tried my best. Then slept over at Joci's and watched Benjamin Button and cried myself to sleep in her bed.

Saturday: I don't think I did anything? I don't remember.

Sunday: Went to lunch at my aunt's/uncle's house for Mother's Day, then came home and played video games all day.

Monday: Got my learner's permit.

Yesterday: Soccer game. First of state play-offs, we won. 20 minutes over time then 5 PKs each. Was tied at 1-1, ended at 4-3.

Today: Went driving for the first time. NOT FUN. I hate it.

[Sponge]

....so how are you doing now?

[Shadowed Heart]

Haven't gone since.

We lost the 2nd game in play offs.

There would have only been 2 more, but it's still very sad.

I went to Taylor after the game and he had his hands in his face, so I hugged him and told him I was still proud of him and he did VERY well. He just shook his head so I kissed the top of his head and told him not to be too upset. I haven't really been talking to him lately. He doesn't text me more than once or twice a week (sad that it's only texting?) these days. Oh well.

Yesterday was my aunt Wendy's wedding. Here are some of my pictures:

 

http://photos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs031.snc1/4305_82633306644_588741644_1883162_5382886_n.jpg

http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs031.snc1/4305_82633291644_588741644_1883159_3113079_n.jpg

http://photos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs031.snc1/4305_82633286644_588741644_1883158_1321776_n.jpg

http://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs031.snc1/4305_82633276644_588741644_1883156_2898529_n.jpg

http://photos-g-0.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs031.snc1/4305_82633246644_588741644_1883150_1692787_n.jpg

http://photos-f-0.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs031.snc1/4305_82633236644_588741644_1883149_3247499_n.jpg

http://photos-c-0.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs031.snc1/4305_82633211644_588741644_1883146_5410514_n.jpg

http://photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs031.snc1/4305_82633206644_588741644_1883145_5259253_n.jpg

http://photos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs031.snc1/4305_82633186644_588741644_1883141_6570980_n.jpg

http://photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs031.snc1/4305_82633201644_588741644_1883144_3313892_n.jpg

http://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs031.snc1/4305_82633181644_588741644_1883140_3007979_n.jpg

http://photos-b-0.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs031.snc1/4305_82633166644_588741644_1883137_4000524_n.jpg

%5Bb%5Dhttp%3A//photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs031.snc1/4305_82633181644_588741644_1883140_3007979_n.jpg[/b]

http://photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs031.snc1/4305_82633161644_588741644_1883136_2943509_n.jpg

http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs031.snc1/4305_82633156644_588741644_1883135_4351772_n.jpg

http://photos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs031.snc1/4305_82633146644_588741644_1883133_5500102_n.jpg

http://photos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs031.snc1/4305_82633151644_588741644_1883134_2461170_n.jpg

http://photos-e-0.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs031.snc1/4305_82633141644_588741644_1883132_1830567_n.jpg

[Sponge]

Nice. For a second I thought something was on my monitor when I saw your Aunt's husband's eye! LMAO XD. Very nice!