my diary, a second page

[powerxxx]

my diary

 

i never thought i would open this book again to write in it

but i don't have anyone to talk to

so i thought to write here once more. here goes nothing

 

today

continued like eachday

 

feeling down

feeling upset

thats how i always felt . fell and probably will continue

 

hate

fear

i am consumed by them

 

i am not telling my self to give up

and i am not telling my self to ,, to hate or despise or even care

i just can't help it some times

 

i always sit here

at this very spot in my room

next to my shallow window

i ask my self

hows it like to be happy

hows it like to see someone i love or like

hows it like to smile

 

i ask myself those things

because i can't seem to remember how it felt like

 

my mind doesn't tell thoughts

they tell ideas

ideas that could never come true

but ideas i can fight for

 

what are those thing that matter most to me

what are those things that i care so much about

 

look at me sitting here writing what ever comes to my mind

 

i wonder why do i close my eyes and open them everyday

everytime i open them

i only see , hate , anger , fear and myself in the mirror

i am blind to see what i need most

and what i want the most

 

and if i close my eyes ,

i will only see the same

hating every person , anger towards every word from them

and the fear of things becoming worse than they already are

 

every person i saw as a friend left

seems every person i become close to i lose

 

i .. i ... i.. don't know what to do anymore

 

this book

i hate writing in it

i hate everything and i hate every one .....

i don't care anymore.......

i just , i just .... i just need someone to be there for me

 

i'm dead inside

i'm losing time

i can't show anyone how i feel

because i have something to conceal

in my memories

i can run away

but i can't hide

 

who will cry

when i'm about to die

when my eyes won't open again

i geuss no one will

 

all those words i wrote

i think they're pointing to a certain thought

to a certain feeling

i am alone ........

 

 

my diary

[Jeezy]

It is so emotional and deep..awesome..