my diary , i'm ready to say

[powerxxx]

promises broken , thoughts confused

don't know what to do any more

 

i am writing just to let out everything that lies inside

 

right now i am crying

i am suffering

confused in my own thoughts

 

i am down for too long

and still am

 

before this i've seen the day can't be changed

because i already knew the score

i already knew whats going to happen

 

i geuss there is no other way

and the way it geos it doesn't matter

 

i don't care anymore

if it's right or wrong

 

everything lies infront of me

there it is all in black and white

 

by now

i think i've known that i've never been

so undecided

 

everything i've ever had

has been taken away

 

i am a person

so scared and frightened

 

the things that have happened

am i surely the one to blame

 

i want to accept my fate

then maybe i'll be okay

 

robbed from my own

love and hate

 

i wonder what is left inside of me

i tried to tell you this

 

under everything

there is something

that you can't even see

that i can't even believe

 

that the truth is right here sitting infront of me

but i still can't see it

 

i wanted to find a dream

for me to disbelieve this

 

i look at all of these people

standing infront of me

watching me

with eyes , hearts and souls filled with

anger, hate and depise

 

i look back

and scream

do you realize you made me look like i'm the one

you made me look like i'm the fool

 

while the real fool

is standing infront of me

 

i am not ready to leave

i am not ready to fade

 

not yet

i'm not willing to give up just yet

i still have something to prove

 

even if your look has changed

even if your feelings changed

 

because you are surely the one to blame

 

do you know that

you did all of this to me

 

and the truth is

everything you've told me was a lie

everword you've spoken was just something to hurt me more

 

after what i told you

the truth

 

you wanted to make me well

you wanted for me to look up from the ground

you wanted me to forgive you

 

but no thanks

 

not my eyes

not my heart

could forget the awefull things you've done to me

 

 

but tomorrow is another day

i will find my perfect way out

and my perfect space to crawl into

 

my final words to you is that

i'm ready

i'm ready to say ...that...

 

i will find my own way without you or anyone else........

 

i'm finally ready to say

good bye.......

[Ravynlee]

Hi. Some intense reading there. Nice display of talent, raw emotion, description, good.

I do have one suggestion though; rather than have 50,000 'diary' entries you should create a thread and update it with new posts, that way you won't run the risk of clogging the forum and perhaps drawing undue attention from mods and whatnot. If you post in one thread you can maintain it as a whole, create an open dialogue for discussion in between posts and build a little fan base for yourself. It would be better if you put all these diary entries in one place and just give them headings, and it would make it easier in the long run for you to go back at some point and reflect on your progression of ideas etc rather than try and track down X amount of them. Just a thought

[Jeezy]

Your stuff is just great...but...yeah...would be cool if you post it in just one thread...would be much easier...