Lane Of The Dead

wonderland · September 16, 2006

Chapter 1

It’s October 29th, 2007. Bam Margera had come to the New York premiere of Rob Zombie’s new film, “Halloween: 25 Years of Terror”. He had almost forgotten Jesse got him an invitation when he filmed “Sleepaway Camp V”, until that afternoon. He got to the theater with only a few minutes to spare before the screening started.

After the screening, he decided to stay for the after party. He usually hates going to these types of parties, but this wasn’t the normal Hollywood/Paris Hilton type. This was a Zombie party. The club it was being held at had the Halloween theme and playing nothing but rock music.

Bam was there about an hour when Rob came up to him. “Bam! Thanks for coming. I hope you enjoyed the movie.”

“Thanks for inviting me, man. The movie was awesome.”

“Good. I’m glad you liked it. My baby sister is a big fan of your show. She’s round here somewhere. Hey, I gotta make the rounds, but if you want… There’s this little shindig at her house later, around 2 a.m. It’s just a few of us, but I’m sure she’d love it if you would come. It’s on the Upper West Side. I have her card here somewhere. If you need directions her number is on there.” Rob took a card from his wallet and handed it to Bam.

Bam looked at the card. It read: ‘Troma Entertainment Lalaina “Zombie” Cummings’ followed by her address, her office, home, cell, and fax numbers as well as her e-mail address. “I’ll think about it.”

“Alright. I hope to see you there. Nice to see you again.”

“You too, man.” As Rob went back to making the rounds, Bam headed to the bar.

Bam walked up next to girl, sitting at the bar. Her hair was dark brown and wavy, barely going past her shoulders. Her arms were covered in tattoos, a Burton-esque Halloween time graveyard sleeve on the left arm, a galaxy half sleeve on the right side, along with the Misfits’ Crimson Ghost skull on her inner forearm with Jerry Only’s autograph underneath and a multi colored star band around her wrist. She had angel wings that started from her spine, stretched out to her shoulders and down underneath her shirt. Her lip was pierced off to the right side. Bam couldn’t help but stare.

As she took a sip of her White Russian, she felt his eyes on her. “Can I have you…Can I help you?”

“Do you mind if I sit here?” Bam said, pointing to the empty seat next to her.

“Nope. Last time I checked, America was still a free country.”

Bam sat down. “I’m Bam, by the way.” He extended his hand to shake hers, which she accepted.

“So Bam, enjoy the movie?”

“Yeah, Rob’s a great director. I usually hate remakes so I’m happy he went in a different direction. It turned out awesome.” She nodded in agreement and finished off her drink. “Can I buy you another Caucasian?”

“Nah, I have to leave soon and I don’t want too much to drink before I drive home. Thanks anyways.”

“You’re a real beautiful woman. It’s almost kind of an honor sitting next to you.”

She smiled at him. “Aw, thanks sweetheart. You ain’t to bad on the eyes either.” They stared at each other for a few moments when the bartender came up to take Bam’s order.

“Are you free tonight?”

“Yeah, Bam. I’m free every night. It’s in the Constitution.”

“No, that’s not what I mean you know it.”

“Actually no. Well, yes I do know and no I’m not. I have to leave soon to meet my brothers.”

“So you’re not meeting a boyfriend?”

“Oh goodness no. I stopped dating a while ago.”

“A beautiful girl like you? Why?”

“Good men… They’re either married or gay. And if they’re not gay, they’ve broken up with the most wonderful woman in the world, or they’ve just broke up with a bitch who looks exactly like me. They’re in transition from a monogamous relationship and they need more space. Or they’re tired of space, but they just can’t commit. Or they want to commit, but they’re afraid to get close. They want to get close, you don’t want to get near them.”

“That sounds…problematic.”

“No growing up with two older brothers was. Michael is the younger of the two and he’s ten years older than I am. But we’ve always been very close, we still are. My whole family is very close, just not to the point of incest. My brother’s are my best friends. Especially since I went through my divorce…”

Bam cut her off. “You’re divorced?”

“Yeah. I married way too young. For a while it was nice. He got into real estate and made millions. Then he thought he was god’s gift to women, so I divorced him. I got the house and half the money, which was nice. It wasn’t even a messy divorce surprisingly. I tell you, he’s not god’s gift to women, he’s god’s gift to the bell curve.”

Just then a man came up to her and hugged her. Bam knew the man was Spider One, Rob’s brother. What he didn’t know was why he was taking to her. It made him feel uneasy. He put in the time to get to know her a little and Spider was going to take her from right under his nose. “Hey you, what are you still doing here? Shouldn’t you be in Whoville stealing Christmas?”

“Don’t talk to me about Christmas, Spider. All that sticky, phony goodwill. I’d like to get a giant candy cane and beat the wings off a sugar plum fairy. But you’re right, we should get going.” She stood up. “It was nice meeting you, Bam. I hope to run into you again.”

“Me, too.” They smiled at each other and shook hands. As she started to walk away, Bam realized he never even knew her name. “Hey, wait!” He said running to catch up with her as Spider went to say goodbye to Rob and Sheri. “I don’t even know your name.”

She smiled at him and squeezed his bicep. “It’s Laney. Lane Cummings.” She leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. She winked at him and walked out.

Where in the hell have I heard that name before? It sounds so familiar. Just then he looked at his watch, it was 1:30am. If he wanted to make it to the party Rob was telling him about, he’d have to leave now. To be honest, he didn’t want to go. He wanted to chase Lane, but having no way to know where she was now he decided to go. Plus the fact, Spider knows her. He could tell him who she was. Bam looked at the card Rob gave him. He then realized the answer to the question that was floating around in his head for the last 5 minutes. The angel he had met was Rob Zombie’s little sister. That’s why Spider knew her so well, they’re brother and sister. He knew he had to see her again. The party was dying down anyway, so he had no other reason to stay. He bolted for the door, and set out for the House of Zombie.

Pheonix791989 · September 16, 2006

really awesome renee!! i cant wait for more of it *jumps up and down* this story is the bestest. i love it lots, but of course you know that already from our lovely chats heh heh

woodyloveslinkin · September 16, 2006

freaking awesome renee! I want more.

jackie · September 16, 2006

this story rocks my sox

cant wait for more

wonderland · September 17, 2006

Chapter 2

Lane & Spider entered the Manhattan town home. From the night sky painted high ceilings to the skull & crossbones throw rugs, Lane’s home was a homage to the macabre. Spider sat on the “American Psycho” fleece blanket that was on her bed, as she changed in the bathroom.

“Laney, Can I ask a dumb question?”

“Like no one else!”

“Funny. No, seriously. Were you putting the moves on that guy at the after party?”

“Not really. We were just talking.”

“But you think he’s good looking.”

“Where have you been? You know me better than that! He’s so good looking I could lick is face like a Dove bar.”

Spider chuckled. “As your older brother, I have to ask. Was he nice to you? I don’t want to have to beat his ass.”

“Very, very.”

“Okay, good. Was there sparkage?”

“Yeah. He’s… Have you seen his arms? Those are nice arms to have.” She came out wearing a black Troma tank top & red plaid shorts. You could see the simple symmetrical skulls that were tattooed just below her butt cheeks. They were similar to “The Punisher”. But, one of them had a pink bow off to the side of its head.

“Shameless self plug?”

“Damn skippy. Oh, like you never wore a Powerman 5000 T-shirt.” She rolled her eyes at him. Just then, the doorbell rang.

Rob came in with his wife, Sheri, who was holding Dracula, their black pug as Spider & Laney were coming down the stairs. Behind them were a few members of the Halloween cast & crew. “Laney! Sweetheart, I missed you. Hey, you got new tattoos!” Sheri cooed looking at Lanes’ legs.

Lane had already had a sleeping bat (drawn by Rob) on the inside of her right leg. The left had portraits; Vincent Price just above the inner ankle & Alfred Hitchcock above the outer. What was new was a sci-fi/outer space pin up girl above the right outer ankle.

“Hey! I missed you, too. You like? Got it earlier this month.”

“You gonna tell them about your other new tat, Lane?” Spider said with a smirk.

“Shut up, you! Why don’t you guys pop a squat in the living room? Sheri, would you help me in the kitchen?”

As the girls started to walk to the kitchen, Rob called out, “Lalaina, hope you don’t mind but I invited one more guest. I don’t know if he’s coming, but he said he’d try to.”

“That’s cool. Go watch a movie until he gets here then. We’ll bring the coffee out there. When, or rather if, he comes we’ll head outside to the backyard or something.”

“Laney, I heard about your ex husband & his new wife having a baby. I don’t how your holding up, but everything is beautiful.” Sheri said, looking around the kitchen.

“Yeah, we could put on a great funeral here.” Lane said in a light chuckle.

Sheri replied sarcastically, “Yeah, maybe I’ll have mine here.”

“Well, we give first priority to those who kill themselves in one of our bathrooms.” Sheri’s smile faded. “That was a horrible thing to say… I don’t know why I said it. I’m sorry.”

“Uh huh. Well, uh…. What’s this I hear about another new tattoo?”

“Oh, it’s nothing really. I just got a little butterfly that’s supposed to be hidden away. Michael only knows about it because he was with me when I got it done. It’s not a big deal. I just wanted a tattoo that was cute, feminine, & for me & my significant’s eyes only. Well, when I have a significant.”

“Ah, I see. Won’t say another word. Come on, the coffee’s done. Let’s go see what the boys are up to.”

They set the coffee tray on top of “The Independent Film Producer's Survival Guide: A Business and Legal Sourcebook” that was lying on the coffee table. Sheri sat on Rob’s lap & Lane sat on the floor by Dracula, petting him.

::Meanwhile::

Bam got stuck by an accident while leaving the after party. “Mother… shitter… Son of a… ass. I just. Ugh!” Bam pounded his fist against the steering wheel.

As soon as he got out of the traffic jam, & into the Upper West Side, he realized he didn’t know where the house was. He didn’t want to call and ask for directions, so he drove around. He hit every red light he came to. He got very impatient, wanting to see Lane again. And for all he knew, the get together could have been cut short.

A cat ran across the street. Bam slammed on his breaks, and spilt the coffee he just bought (so he could do a little sobering up) on his shirt. “Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn! Every damned thing has to happen when you’re in a hurry!”

He finally came to West 69th Street. About half a block down, he saw a house guarded by gargoyles. There was a hearse and a viper in the driveway. He checked the card again. “Well, this is it. No turning back now.”

Bam looked at the hearse as he walked up the drive. It was a black 1972 Cadillac Superior Crown with an Endloader. looked rather confused by it being in the drive, but pressed on. He climbed up the stairs to the large double doors. Bam took a deep breath & rang the doorbell. The bell rang throughout the home, loud enough for Bam to realize it was the beginnings of ‘The Munsters’ theme song. Bam looked around, swaying back & forth, until the door opened.

Pheonix791989 · September 17, 2006

yay its all good i cant wait for more story. you got to have more.

woodyloveslinkin · September 18, 2006

Im with Mel. Very descriptive dark and gothic descriptions you've got going.

wonderland · September 20, 2006

Chapter 3

Dracula rolled over so Laney would rub his belly. “Your such a good little puppy. Hey, what are we watching? Oh, ‘Deathrace 2000’ again.” She said finally looking up. “I don’t wanna have some ha-ha’s.” She got up & went to the guestroom. The room had been modified because she collects films, so now it’s just like a movie warehouse with all the formats of each movie she could get her hands on. She chose a movie & walked back out. “My house, my choice,” she said waving the DVD.

They watched for 5 minutes when Dracula scratched at the patio door to go out. As Lane opened the door for him, the doorbell rang. “Can someone get that?”

Rob went to get the door. “Bam, hey, you made it.” A burst of laughter came from inside.

“Yeah, what are they doing in there?”

“They’re watching ‘Koroshiya 1’… ‘Ichi the Killer’. And they love it. Come on in.”

Bam eased his way in, putting his purple jacket on the coat rack that looked like it was made of skulls, and followed Rob into the living room. Laney, Spider, & Sheri were the only ones left watching the movie.

“Lalaina! Did you scare the crew off or did you quickly hide the bodies?” Rob said, wonder what happened to the rest of the guests.

“They were grossed out by the movie & didn’t want to read because it’s the Japanese, not US or UK, unrated subtitled version. I told them, ‘Every now & then, you have to get a little bloody. It’s good for the soul.’ They looked at me like I was a freak!”

Spider butted in, “But you are a freak…”

Lane gave him the evil eye & picked up where she left off before being interrupted. “I mean, come on, if you’re gonna watch 'Ichi the Killer', then you gotta watch it this way… it’s the only way. Well, not the ONLY way, but real movie buffs who’ve seen it will tell you the other ways are a waste. You miss out on too much.” Lane shook her head as to get back her train of thought. “Oh, I’m sorry, hi Bam!”

“You two know each other?” Rob questioned, furrowing his overhanging forehead.

Bam stuffed his hands in his pockets & was looking around the room. “Oh, yeah, we met at the bar just after I talked to you. I didn’t know she was your sister, though.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Rob said staring down Lane.

“What? So I had a White Russian before I left, so fucking sue me!”

“You’ll have to excuse her, it’s been a hell of a 30 years.” Spider said.

“I’m not 30 until tomorrow & thank Herman Munster I’ll be at the Misfits concert as I have been every year on my birthday since I was 16. Sometimes I feel like this city is sucking away at my soul. Oh, fuck me! If I don’t find my grim reaper lighter I’ll, like, slit my wrists.”

“Jesus, is suicide a female right of passage or something?” Bam said.

“Women are 10x more likely to attempt suicide & males are 4x as likely to succeed, so you’re bound to meet more female attempters because the male attempters are just, dead.” Lane said looking around the couch.

“Did you ever try?” Sheri said looking at Lane in shock of her knowledge.

“Nope…I’ll be dead soon enough. Anyways, the primary attempt of self-injury isn’t to commit suicide. It’s, a lot of times, to stop from killing themselves. It’s still not as common as the media perceives it as. Like 1 out of every 1,000 people in America do it. I’ve had a few friends in my lifetime that cut themselves. And ya know it pisses me off that people talk when they don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. But that’s generally, not just about S.I.B. Enough of that, already. Come sit down, Bam. We don’t bite unless you ask.” Lane said smiling.

He sat between Spider & Laney. Spider leaned over to Bam; “She can get a little weirder than usual sometimes. She ate lot of bugs as a kid, I think that might have had something to do with it. In a way, I blame myself.”

“Why?”

“I was shoving them in her mouth. No one told her to swallow, though.”

There was a loud rumble from outside. Lane turned & leaned over the back of the couch in a flash, to look out the window behind them. Her thong slightly peeked out of her shorts. “Ooh, it’s really coming down out there. I hope everyone rolled up their car windows.”

Sheri crept over to Lane & smacked her butt. “Ooh, baby!” Lane said sexily, as turned her head to see Sheri. “Don’t stop.” Like an excited little kid she said, “Again! Do it again!” Lane stuck her butt out a little more and again Sheri slapped it. “Yeah, mama!”

Bam smiled at them & went over to the pictures on the wall by the bookcase. He looked them over & stopped to stare at a baby picture. The baby had a little faux hawk & was sucking on a Ramones tee. Lane came over to him. “That’s me in that picture. Rob’s girlfriend at the time did my hair like that. She was a little older than him, maybe 15 or so. Her brother I guess was always over & he got me that when he saw them at CBGB’s.”

She pointed to another where a teenage Rob was holding her. “This was on my birthday in ’78. My first birthday and I had a little itsy bitsy Devil’s Lock, just like Jerry Only. Rob did that to me because for my gift, he got me into the Fiend Club. Too bad it disbanded in ’83. Would you like a tour of the house? You’re the only one who hasn’t seen it.”

“Yeah, sure. Why the hell not. First, though, explain this picture.”

“Oh, that’s when my mother was pregnant with me. She & my dad worked at a carnival until I was a few months old. Every chance we got we went to visit though. On the left is Spider & on the right is Rob.” Bam nodded as Lane grabbed his wrist & lead him to the stairs.

Along every wall was old school horror & sci-fi movie & punk rock memorabilia, as well as family photos. Spider’s room has Nightmare before Christmas theme painted walls. Lane pointed out that she did it herself. Rob & Sheri’s room, for when they come to visit, is dedicated to the punk rock of the 70s & early horror movies. The only room that wasn’t covered in memorabilia was the only guestroom. It looked like a room that Ape would have absolutely loved; though there were a few trinkets that were reminiscent of circus & carnival life. Lane said that this was the room her parents occupied when they are in New York but it’s mainly for guests. They went up the stairs again to the fourth floor. Lane opened the door to her room. It might have been the creepiest, yet. Everything was pure white, but it looked like someone had been murdered in there. It looked like Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale) of American Psycho had been the last occupant. All except for one blue handprint on the wall above her bloodied bed & a few CDs of the Ramones, the Sex Pistols, the Dead Milkmen, the Adicts, the Dead Kennedys, the 69 Eyes, AFI, Moby, Black Flag, the Casualties, Children of Bodom, Patti Smith, Television, Operation Ivy, Roxy Music, Echo & the Bunnymen, New York Dolls, Minor Threat, Generation X, the Vibrators, Global Threat, Mr. Bungle, the Germs, MC5, Tiger Army, & the Misfits strewn across the room.

“What’s with the blue handprint?”

“Oh my ex boyfriend painted the room this way. The handprint was his way of signing it. His name is Elijah Blue so he thought that a blue handprint above my bed would be fitting."

“His name is Elijah Blue? What the fuck kind of name is that?”

“Hey! He may be my ex but I liked his name. It’s Elijah Blue Allman. He’s the son of Cher & Greg Allman. But that ended a few years ago.”

Bam started to go up to the fifth & final floor but Lane stopped him. No one is allowed to go up there, not even Spider. On the way downstairs, the sound of Gang of Four could be heard echoing through the first floor. As they were walking back in the living room, Lane asked, “Do you like fried Oreos? I have such a taste for them.”

“I’ve never even heard of fried Oreos…”

Bam was interrupted by Lane’s horrified expression. “You’ve never heard of fried Oreos! Herman Munster! Guys? Did you that? They’re only the best snack ever. Mom used to make them all the time. I think it’s a Carnie thing, though. Come on to the kitchen, I’ll even show you how to make them. It’s really easy. Hey, wait, where’d everyone go?” The cast & crew had left while she was taking Bam around.

Rob sighed. “They were either tired, had to get up early for their flights, or had to check into a hotel. But we’re staying here, especially since you mentioned fried Oreos.”

Everyone went into the kitchen and sat at the table in the breakfast nook while Lane searched for the ingredients. “Fuckness. I’m out of pancake mix. I’ll go out & get some. Everyone just grab a drink from the fridge while I’m gone.”

“Lalaina, I don’t want you going out this late. Especially dressed in so little.” Rob said, being the overprotective big brother he is. Laney just rolled her eyes at him.

Bam shot up in his chair. “I’ll go with.”

“Fine. See Rob I’m not going alone. Bam let me just change & I’ll meet you by the front door.” Lane smiled at him then bounded up the stairs 2 at a time.

wonderland · September 20, 2006

Bam didn’t realize he showed that much excitement until he noticed the glare coming from Spider. He had never met Spider before tonight, but he could tell that Spider didn’t like him already. Spider squinted his eyes at him. Bam looked around, Rob & Sheri were looking at him intently. Bam just cleared his throat & got up to get his coat.

Laney came down in her still in her Troma tank, but with a tweed cardigan with elbow patches over it, a pair of Levi’s, & black hi-top Converse. Her purse for the moment just being chained Ramones wallet. She leaped from the stairs, jumping over the last four. She didn’t catch her balance right away so Bam caught her before she ran into the door.

“Thank you.”

Bam smiled at her and opened the door for her. “Thank you, again. Let’s walk. I love walking in the rain & it’s not that far.”

“I’d really enjoy that. Now let’s get going before it starts storming bad out again.”

Lane nodded & proceeded out the door without umbrella or jacket. Bam followed suit, watching Lane walk down the path to the driveway.

Pheonix791989 · September 20, 2006

yay more more more *cheers*

wonderland · September 27, 2006

Chapter 4

As Laney & Bam walked down the street the rain was still coming down heavily. Thunder softly rolled. Bam’s eyes went from Lane to the hearse in her driveway. Lane noticed & said, “Isn’t he beautiful? He’s my baby. I call him Merrick.”

“Why Merrick?”

“He was Buffy’s Watcher in the movie.”

A flash of lightning flashed behind Lane. “But a hearse? Don’t you have any respect for the dead?” Bam questioned.

“Hell yeah. If I can drive one of those I think I have more respect for the dead then the people who silently get the chills as one goes by. Now let’s get skee-daddling.”

“Fair enough.”

Lane hugged Merrick before they walked down the road. After a couple minutes of skipping, Lane’s eyes widened as she spotted a large puddle. She ran & jumped in it, drenching herself & Bam. “Thanks, Lane. I needed a shower. Why did you do that?”

“I can’t resist. For as long as I remember, I’ve always played in the puddles.” Bam shook his head & took Lane by the hand. He pulled her out of the pulled and close to him. They could feel each other’s breath. He wrapped his arm around her waist & they continued on their way.

Bam held her waist until they reached the automatic doors. They grabbed the pancake mix as well as a fresh bag of Oreos & a ½ quart of milk and Pixie Stix for the hell of it. After checkout, Lane asked, “Okay this might be terrible timing but do you have to find a hotel here in New York or are you going to go back to Pennsylvania in a few hours. I mean the Oreos don’t take long but I don’t want to keep you if you need to drive. It’s already almost dawn. And so ya know, if you’re ever staying in New York, my door is always open. People are welcome to come & go as they please whether I’m there or not. Almost every time I’m on location for a movie people are crashing at the House of Zombie. It’s the house’s nickname since I live there with Spider & every time Rob or our parents are in New York, it’s they’re Devil’s playground. So, anyone that’s a friend of a Zombie is to feel as if it’s their home away from home.”

“How come you got such trust in your eyes, like you were just born? We met not five fucking hours ago & you’re welcoming me into your home at my discretion. I don’t think that’s smart. We’re still pretty much strangers. And a girl should be careful about talking with strangers.”

“First off, you’re Rob’s friend, so you’d be welcome no matter. Everybody starts out as strangers, Bam. It’s where we end up that counts.”

Bam escorted her out of the store. The rain was pouring faster & harder than before. Every few second there was a flash of lightning & roll of thunder. Bam asked, “This may sound strange but I think you might have heard it before. Have you ever wanted to kill a man?”

Lane looked at this with a raised brow as she wiped the hair that was sticking to her face away. “Is this because I’m a Zombie?” Laney took a deep breath. “My son, there’s murder in every intelligent man’s heart. But I don’t think I could ever do it. I know how to kill & dispose correctly… without the cops finding me or the body. It’s just not me to actually do it though. I’m usually a happy happy joy joy kind of gal.”

Bam chuckled at this truth. “Okay, since I know you won’t kill me in my sleep & you said I’m welcome to. I think I will stay the night, or rather stay at the House of Zombie until I go home. And, if I stay long enough, I’ll be able to wish you a happy birthday in person. 30 is a big one.”

“Eh, it’s another day to me. The only specialness is the Misfits concert. I leave tomorrow night & won’t be home until November 1st or 2nd.” Lane looked at Bam with wide eyes & a Cheshire Cat like grin. She started jumping up & down & clapping. “YEA! SLEEPOVER!”

Laney shoved the grocery bag into Bam’s chest & did a cartwheel the best she could on the sidewalk. She landed n her butt, directly in the middle of a puddle splashing them both again. “I think I fell down,” she giggled.

Bam helped her up & Lane pushed him away once she was standing. “Tag! You’re it!” He chased her all the way back to the house.

Lane took a shortcut through her grass. As Bam followed suit, he slipped in the slick, almost drowned grass, causing him to fall on his hip in a muddy patch of the lawn. Lane was rolling on the stoop from laughter. She was laughing so hard her face was beat red, she couldn’t breathe & tears were forming in her eyes. Though, she was so drenched one couldn’t really tell she was crying. Bam got up with a devil grin on his face. Lane didn’t notice Bam walked up to her until it was too late. He started shaking the mud off of him, getting it all over the stoop & Lane. She screamed as she shielded her face. Bam wiped his hands on her shoulders as they entered the house laughing, drenched & covered in mud.

Peterdea · September 28, 2006

i have to say, personaly i don't like it that much, you have awesome talent, and it's not that i'm saying is just plain bad, im saying it's just not the kind of story i can get into.

keep it up, amd i'm sorry if i said it wrong, just hopefuly you get what i mean.

Pheonix791989 · September 30, 2006

i love it!! Awesome!! its killer and you know i think that. n_n its been a weird couple of days for me but its all good *runs in a circle*

wonderland · October 1, 2006

Chapter 5

As they entered, Lane said, “Okay that was fun but I don’t want my house getting muddy. It’s already messy enough. Did you bring extra clothes?”

“I didn’t think I was going to slip in the mud! Of course I didn’t. I’m not a fucking psychic.”

“Well there was no need to snap at me. Fuck, man. Just leave your shoes, coat & the groceries by the damn door. I’ll give you some of Spider’s clothes & you can use his bathroom to shower.” She began walking upstairs. “And Bam, if you get mud on anything, Merrick will give you your last farewell ride.”

Normally, this would compel Bam to do just that. But, he didn’t want to piss off Lane. She had told him that she knew how to kill a man & with a last name like Zombie, he believed she could & Dead Boys tee & a pair of ripped jeans.

“These should fit. The shower is across the hall. Put the muddy clothes in the hamper, I’ll do the laundry in the morning. I’ll meet you back down in the kitchen.”

After Bam closed the door behind him, Lane took of her top. She walked into her room 7 grabbed a Casualties “Enemies of Society” tee & a pair of red plaid strap pants before showering in her own bathroom.

: Meanwhile Downstairs:

“Where the hell are they? Fucking starved. It’s damn near breakfast time & only takes 5 minutes each way walking.” Spider said leaning back in the chair.

Sheri cocked her head to the side & scratched it. “I thought I heard the door a few minutes ago. It’s Laney, so maybe they’re just goofing off. I still can’t get over her hair. I just love it. She’s had those damn blue liberty spikes way too long.”

“Well, earlier this year she had dread falls. But you’re right, baby, she’s been wearing liberty spikes on an off since she was 15. Or did she have the mohawk at 15 & spikes at 16.” Rob contemplated.

Spider was banging his fingers on the table to Gang of Four. “At 15 she had the hawk. Remember? She got pissed because you bitched at her for loosing her virginity so she shaved her head to a rainbow hawk. It was for her 16th birthday, at her 1st Misfits concert, that she had her green liberty spikes. Then dad took her to his guy Jersey to get her first tattoo.”

“Oh yeah, how could I forget that. Must be old age.”

Bam came down stairs & put the grocery bag on the counter. They all stared at Bam until Spider spoke up. “Are those my clothes?”

“Oh, yeah. I slipped in the mud & Lane gave me these to wear until she washed clothes.”

“HEY! That’s Lalaina to you, kid. Only family & close friends are allowed to call her Lane. Got it?” Spider said, growingly pissed.

“Alright, man. I got it. Damn.”

“Well, where the hell is she then?” Rob looked at him over his overhanging brow.

“She is, um…” At that precise moment Lane ran in so quickly that she slammed into the refrigerator so hard she fell back on her butt. Everyone started to laugh at her, including Bam. Lane got up & mocked their laughing.

She turned up the music & started bopping around as she began making the fried Oreos. Bam sat down at the table next to Spider, just before Spider got up. He walked over to Lane & picked her up by her waist. Lane screamed in shock as Spider flung her over his shoulder.

“Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!” Rob laughed.

“Michael! Put me down you jackass!”

Lane pounded against his back. Spider slapped her on the butt.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, put me down!”

Spider smiled & flung her legs over his shoulder, causing her to land on her back on a pirate skull rug. “Damn you Michael. Lucky I watch wrestling, I could have gotten really hurt if I didn’t know how to land right.” She smacked him on the arm as he was going back to his chair.

Ten minutes later they were all enjoying their artery-clogging breakfast & moshing in the kitchen to the protopunk sounds of Iggy & the Stooges, T. Rex, Television & the New York Dolls. Around 7am, everyone went into their bedrooms to get some sleep for the day ahead.

Bam went into Lane’s parents’ room & looked around at the trinkets from their days at the carnival that were on the vanity. At 7:23am his cell phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey, babe.”

“Hi, Jenn. What do you want?”

“I was just wondering where you were last night. You never came home. I miss you.”

“I’m still in New York. Rob invited me out after the party. I’m gonna stay here for a bit & get some sleep.”

“Wait, who the hell is Rob?”

“Rob Zombie, you fucktard. The music artist, the director of the movie I came up here to see. Damn, I thought I was supposed to be the slow one. I haven’t slept in damn near 2 days.”

“Well, fuck me for forgetting your every move.”

“Maybe later, I’m too tired right now.”

“Ugh, fine. Whatever, Bam.”

Bam didn’t say goodbye. He just rolled his eyes & hung up on his girlfriend. He threw his phone on the bed & looked over to a ceramic elephant in the middle of a circus ring that was directly in front of the wall mirror.

He took a deep breath as he stared at himself in the mirror. He stared into his own face until it wasn’t his face anymore, just shapes. He backed away slowly, regaining focus. He didn’t realize it but he had just missed a phone call.

Bam lay on the bed, unaware he had just thrown his phone in the same spot. He felt his phone vibrate under his back. He reached under himself & looked at the caller ID. It was Jenn, again. He hit the answer button, but just as soon as he did he turned the phone off. He put it on the white wicker nightstand, next to a clown lamp.

He got up & left the room. He really didn’t know where to go, so he stood in front of the staircases that led to the 2nd & 4th floor. Down the hall was Spider’s room. Upstairs was Lane’s room. The 2nd floor was Rob & Sheri’s room. The first held the living room & kitchen. The rest of the house seemed not as important to him at the moment. But where to go? Bam nodded to himself as he nodded & grabbed onto the banister & slowly put his foot on the first stair. Wondering if he chose the right direction.

Pheonix791989 · October 1, 2006

yay! gawd spider is a bit protective. gotta love the grand canyon in there too. lol. shes a bit anoying

wonderland · October 1, 2006

Chapter 6

The rain had stopped earlier that morning, but the scent lingered in the cool breeze that passed every few minutes or so. Lane was sitting on the balcony in her plaid plants and black & white polka dot bra with a red lace trim. She watched the clouds as they moved across the sky. She wrapped her hands around her James Dean mug & sighed; the sky was perfect for late October. The mellow sounds of the Doors crept softly out of her bedroom stereo. Jim Morrison’s voice intoxicating her. She leaned back, breathing in the cool autumn air; soaking in Morrison’s oozing sexuality.

There was a knock at her door, but she couldn’t hear it; she was too entranced. The knock came again but louder now. It knocked Lane out of her thoughtless trance. She didn’t get up but yelled to the door, “America’s greatest president.”

“What?” came from the other side of door.

“Bam? Is that you?”

“Yeah, can I come in?”

“Um…” Lane looked down at herself & saw she was in her bra. “Just a moment!”

She rushed back into her room, set the coffee down on her dresser, & threw back on her Casualties tee. She opened the door & welcomed Bam in.

“What’s with the ‘America’s greatest president’ shit?”

“It’s like a password to get into my room. Only my brothers, parents, and maybe one or two friends know the correct answers to all 3 questions.”

“Can I know them?”

“The questions or the answers?”

“Both…” Bam paused to think. “Yeah, both.”

“Nope. Sorry, pick a different door.”

“What?”

“I barely know you! Some of my best friends have never stepped beyond the threshold. You’re lucky you’re in here now. So you must pick secret option B. Be in here now & possibly never know what it’s like to be in here again. So take it all in while you can. You want coffee?”

“Sure why not?”

Lane opened the door to her walk-in closet & on top of a dresser was a coffeemaker. She refreshed her cup & poured Bam a cup in he Monroe mug. Next to the dresser was a skateboard. Bam looked at it quizzically.

“You skate?”

“Oh, heaven’s no. My friend Phoenix is a skateboard graphics designer. Her boyfriend Tim, who’s been a friend of mine for ages, is a pro skater & signed it for me. It’s there for looks. I have problems with standing on my own two feet let alone of four wheels.” Lane sat on her bed & patted the placement next to her, signaling him to sit next to her. “So, what? Couldn’t sleep?”

“Why you say that?”

“Why else would you be knocking at my door at this unearthly time?”

“What? I can’t just want to talk to you?”

Lane just looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“No, you’re right. Once you’re up for so long you forget to remember you need or want sleep. Plus, my fucking girlfriend keeps calling me. She called me 2 or 3 times in less than 10 minutes when I was I the other room.”

“Oh, one of THOSE.”

“Well, not until recently. She’s been accusing me of cheating & blah, blah, blah.”

“Ah. Well are you?”

“No! I’ve thought about other women, yeah. But cheated no.”

“So why does she think you are?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.”

“Well, my husband cheated on me. That’s why I divorced him. Yeah, from the being we were always out of town, but we worked at it. But, he changed in me. He used to be cool with the fact that I’m ‘punk’ or whatever. He used to love the fact I’m best friends with my brothers & so dedicated to the movies & music I love. He loved my tattoos. Slowly but surely it changed. We just grew distant & when we did talk, we fought. He wouldn’t take me out anymore, especially for business dinners. He said I wasn’t ‘classy’ enough. That my tattoos are too ‘outrageous’ for his lifestyle. He always tried to compare us to Trump & whoever was his flavor of the week. He accused me of cheating. But, it was really him that was cheating. One night I was walking through Central Park with my friend Criss Angel…”

Bam cut her off. “You’re friends with Criss Angel, the illusionist?”

“Yeah, he’s a friend of the family. We’re all just fans & friends of each other. But anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, Central Park. So we were walking together & we saw him with this all fancied out chick & were all snuggly. The following morning I filed for divorce. Criss took pictures so I had a witness with evidence. Because of that & his dimwitted lawyer I got half of his money plus alimony & the house. So, in my case, he accused me of cheating out of his own guilt.”

“Damn, I’m sorry.”

“I’m not. True, I did whore around just after because of a mild depression but I got over it. I mean I was with the man for 5 years, 18-23. Too long for a young gal. But I got closer to Rob & Spider. After a few years, I dated Elijah Blue. He was better to & for me.”

“Why didn’t that work out?”

“Fate. Fell out of lust. It wasn’t meant to be any longer than it was.”

“Do you ever think about gettin’ married again?”

“Oh, I think about it; never in daylight. What about you? You ever think of getting married?”

“Yeah in fact, Jenn, my girlfriend & I were engaged before. We made it to a couple months before the wedding before we broke up. She accused me of cheating then, too. Can I have a refill? Thanks.” Lane poured him more coffee but was still listening intently. “She milked her 15 minutes for every red cent she could. Even selling the ring on Ebay. Then I started dating this girl, Missy, which I’ve known since 6th grade. Again it lasted only until a few months before the wedding. One morning soon after that break up, I woke up next to Jenn. She hasn’t left since.” As he talked he got up & started examining the trinkets on the vanity. He picked up a picture of her with the 69 Eyes. It was signed ‘to Baby Z. Thanks for everything. We’ll miss you. I love you, Jussi’. “You know Jussi?”

“Yeah, sweetheart ain’t he?” Lane joined him. “Would you look at this one? It was my 16th birthday with Rob & Spider. At first Misfits concert.” The picture was taken outside the venue, with the her in the middle of the two boys. She had on Docs, a pair of jeans so ripped that it was amazing they were held together, but the safety pins probably helped & a cut up New York Dolls shirt, & green liberty spikes. “I miss my liberty spikes. A few months ago, Sheri decided I needed a natural look. She died my hair & cut it. I’m waiting until it’s time to redye to put the spikes back in. My hair was blue until Sheri got to me.”

“I like it this way better.”

“Thanks. I guess I might have to keep it.”

“I think you should.”

“Maybe I will. I’ll take your thoughts into consideration.”

Bam noticed a CD that read: “GUTTER’S DEMO”. “Is this your band?”

“No, I don’t have the time. Gutter is a friend of mine I met while at NYFA. Well, I was there, he was in a band called The Carbon Monkeys. I met him at this Battle of the Bands dealy. His bad was skate punk at the time, like early AFI stuff. Now it’s more hardcore punk, like when Glen Danzig was in the Misfits. They recorded it in his basement. I told him I’d give it to my brother to see if they can get the Monkeys a deal but they refuse. They want to make it on their own. They’re pretty good, too.”

“Cool.” Bam said setting his mug on the nightstand & laid down on her bed. Lane sat Indian-style next to him. They sat in silence for a minute just glancing over to another, smiling each time their eyes met. That is until there was a knock at her door.

wonderland · October 8, 2006

Chapter 6

The rain had stopped earlier that morning, but the scent lingered in the cool breeze that passed every few minutes or so. Lane was sitting on the balcony in her plaid plants and black & white polka dot bra with a red lace trim. She watched the clouds as they moved across the sky. She wrapped her hands around her James Dean mug & sighed; the sky was perfect for late October. The mellow sounds of the Doors crept softly out of her bedroom stereo. Jim Morrison’s voice intoxicating her. She leaned back, breathing in the cool autumn air; soaking in Morrison’s oozing sexuality.

There was a knock at her door, but she couldn’t hear it; she was too entranced. The knock came again but louder now. It knocked Lane out of her thoughtless trance. She didn’t get up but yelled to the door, “America’s greatest president.”

“What?” came from the other side of door.

“Bam? Is that you?”

“Yeah, can I come in?”

“Um…” Lane looked down at herself & saw she was in her bra. “Just a moment!”

She rushed back into her room, set the coffee down on her dresser, & threw back on her Casualties tee. She opened the door & welcomed Bam in.

“What’s with the ‘America’s greatest president’ shit?”

“It’s like a password to get into my room. Only my brothers, parents, and maybe one or two friends know the correct answers to all 3 questions.”

“Can I know them?”

“The questions or the answers?”

“Both…” Bam paused to think. “Yeah, both.”

“Nope. Sorry, pick a different door.”

“What?”

“I barely know you! Some of my best friends have never stepped beyond the threshold. You’re lucky you’re in here now. So you must pick secret option B. Be in here now & possibly never know what it’s like to be in here again. So take it all in while you can. You want coffee?”

“Sure why not?”

Lane opened the door to her walk-in closet & on top of a dresser was a coffeemaker. She refreshed her cup & poured Bam a cup in he Monroe mug. Next to the dresser was a skateboard. Bam looked at it quizzically.

“You skate?”

“Oh, heaven’s no. My friend Phoenix is a skateboard graphics designer. Her boyfriend Tim, who’s been a friend of mine for ages, is a pro skater & signed it for me. It’s there for looks. I have problems with standing on my own two feet let alone of four wheels.” Lane sat on her bed & patted the placement next to her, signaling him to sit next to her. “So, what? Couldn’t sleep?”

“Why you say that?”

“Why else would you be knocking at my door at this unearthly time?”

“What? I can’t just want to talk to you?”

Lane just looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“No, you’re right. Once you’re up for so long you forget to remember you need or want sleep. Plus, my fucking girlfriend keeps calling me. She called me 2 or 3 times in less than 10 minutes when I was I the other room.”

“Oh, one of THOSE.”

“Well, not until recently. She’s been accusing me of cheating & blah, blah, blah.”

“Ah. Well are you?”

“No! I’ve thought about other women, yeah. But cheated no.”

“So why does she think you are?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.”

“Well, my husband cheated on me. That’s why I divorced him. Yeah, from the being we were always out of town, but we worked at it. But, he changed in me. He used to be cool with the fact that I’m ‘punk’ or whatever. He used to love the fact I’m best friends with my brothers & so dedicated to the movies & music I love. He loved my tattoos. Slowly but surely it changed. We just grew distant & when we did talk, we fought. He wouldn’t take me out anymore, especially for business dinners. He said I wasn’t ‘classy’ enough. That my tattoos are too ‘outrageous’ for his lifestyle. He always tried to compare us to Trump & whoever was his flavor of the week. He accused me of cheating. But, it was really him that was cheating. One night I was walking through Central Park with my friend Criss Angel…”

Bam cut her off. “You’re friends with Criss Angel, the illusionist?”

“Yeah, he’s a friend of the family. We’re all just fans & friends of each other. But anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, Central Park. So we were walking together & we saw him with this all fancied out chick & were all snuggly. The following morning I filed for divorce. Criss took pictures so I had a witness with evidence. Because of that & his dimwitted lawyer I got half of his money plus alimony & the house. So, in my case, he accused me of cheating out of his own guilt.”

“Damn, I’m sorry.”

“I’m not. True, I did whore around just after because of a mild depression but I got over it. I mean I was with the man for 5 years, 18-23. Too long for a young gal. But I got closer to Rob & Spider. After a few years, I dated Elijah Blue. He was better to & for me.”

“Why didn’t that work out?”

“Fate. Fell out of lust. It wasn’t meant to be any longer than it was.”

“Do you ever think about gettin’ married again?”

“Oh, I think about it; never in daylight. What about you? You ever think of getting married?”

“Yeah in fact, Jenn, my girlfriend & I were engaged before. We made it to a couple months before the wedding before we broke up. She accused me of cheating then, too. Can I have a refill? Thanks.” Lane poured him more coffee but was still listening intently. “She milked her 15 minutes for every red cent she could. Even selling the ring on Ebay. Then I started dating this girl, Missy, which I’ve known since 6th grade. Again it lasted only until a few months before the wedding. One morning soon after that break up, I woke up next to Jenn. She hasn’t left since.” As he talked he got up & started examining the trinkets on the vanity. He picked up a picture of her with the 69 Eyes. It was signed ‘to Baby Z. Thanks for everything. We’ll miss you. I love you, Jussi’. “You know Jussi?”

“Yeah, sweetheart ain’t he?” Lane joined him. “Would you look at this one? It was my 16th birthday with Rob & Spider. At first Misfits concert.” The picture was taken outside the venue, with the her in the middle of the two boys. She had on Docs, a pair of jeans so ripped that it was amazing they were held together, but the safety pins probably helped & a cut up New York Dolls shirt, & green liberty spikes. “I miss my liberty spikes. A few months ago, Sheri decided I needed a natural look. She died my hair & cut it. I’m waiting until it’s time to redye to put the spikes back in. My hair was blue until Sheri got to me.”

“I like it this way better.”

“Thanks. I guess I might have to keep it.”

“I think you should.”

“Maybe I will. I’ll take your thoughts into consideration.”

Bam noticed a CD that read: “GUTTER’S DEMO”. “Is this your band?”

“No, I don’t have the time. Gutter is a friend of mine I met while at NYFA. Well, I was there, he was in a band called The Carbon Monkeys. I met him at this Battle of the Bands dealy. His band was skate punk at the time, like early AFI stuff. Now it’s more hardcore punk, like when Glen Danzig was in the Misfits. They recorded it in his basement. I told him I’d give it to my brother to see if they can get the Monkeys a deal but they refuse. They want to make it on their own. They’re pretty good, too.”

“Cool.” Bam said setting his mug on the nightstand & laid down on her bed. Lane sat Indian-style next to him. They sat in silence for a minute just glancing over to another, smiling each time their eyes met. That is until there was a knock at her door.

wonderland · October 18, 2006

Chapter 7

“America’s greatest president.”

“Damn it, Lane. Who the fuck else could it be?” came from the other side from door.

“America’s greatest president.”

“Oh, fuck. What is a trick question. We grew up discontent with American government. Authority leads to abuse & corruption. This includes the military, which is why we are pacifists in this family. Conformity prevents people from seeing the true nature of society and forces people to be obedient to the desires of those who hold power whether it’s pop culture or the government. I hate capitalist America but while it is that way I believe we should have the right to work, better working conditions, trade union recognition, and an end to discrimination in the workplace. While were raised atheists we still remain a respect for others views, whatever they may be. Something no president has completely done.”

“This was the first punk band in the UK to release an album. Name the album & year they formed.”

“Who were The Damned formed in London in 1976? They accomplished a bunch of "firsts," including being the first of the British punk bands to release a single, put out an album, and tour the United States.”

“In 1979, this punk placed fourth in San Francisco's mayoral race.”

"Who is Eric Reed Boucher, better known by the stage name Jello Biafra of Dead Kennedys, as a member of the Green Party? He did this as a prank & used the slogan ‘There’s always room for Jello’, which you still have a pin of. His platform included unconventional points such as forcing businessmen to wear clown suits within city limits and a citywide ban on cars. The latter was because the city had a big pollution problem."

“Um, shit. I stll don't know... Bonus question: They killed Jesus, according to Christianity.”

“Fuck's sake. Who can I be? Who are the Jews? Open up, sucko.”

“Michael! Morning! It’s unlocked.”

Bam looked at Lane in confusion. "I wouldn’t be able to remember all that. I’ll never be in here again.”

Lane laughed, “Did I forget to mention that the questions are only for if the door is closed? Hmph, oh well.” She swung her head towards Spider. “What’s up dude?”

“What the fuck is he doing in here? Fuck Lane, are there springs in your legs keeping them from closing? Damn kid’s probably worse than Tim is. All those skater types are the same. He’s an immature asshole, I’ve seen his show. He’s probably even worse! He’ll probably take you to a strip club, take ya home, tie you town & secretly tape you two banging & post it all over the internet. Now, while you might like that, your career will be over in a click. What would mom have to say?”

“HEY! I know I seem a little bit on the kinky side, but deep down a sensitive & vulnerable girl. Don’t let my dildoes, vibrators, & handcuffs fool you. Don’t you ever say that to me again. Did you lose your mind all at once, or was it a slow, gradual process?”

Spider pulled Laney out of her bedroom & into the hall. But Bam could still hear most of what was said. “Laney, he’s not like us. He wouldn’t fit in with the family. Yeah, his family is a bunch of clowns, but not like ours. I know you said that you were going to start dating again, but not with this guy, huh? Bam just can’t commit to anything other then his show and skateboarding. You need someone that will be there for you when you need him. He won’t be, I just know it. He won’t be the one to be that can’t stand to live without you. I thought you were happy with it being just the family again. And he, by any means, isn’t part of that. He knows nothing of our lifestyle. He could never be part of that. I don’t like him. He may be a friend of Rob’s but that’s the most you’ll ever get out of him. A friend when it’s convenient for him." Spider looked into the room at Bam & shook his head. “I hope you’re happy with the life you’ve chosen.”

“Don’t quote Dicken’s in my house! Bam & I aren’t or will ever be together. And for that matter, Michael, who I fuck & who I don’t fuck is none of you fucking business!”

Spider opened his mouth to say something, but was knocked over in a tackle like hug by Phoenix. Lane doubled over laughing. Tim then jumped on her as Phoenix did to Spider not two seconds prior. As Tim stuck his butt out trying to get up off of Lane he said, “Now that is a perfect ass.”

Phoenix helped Lane up as Tim was still admiring his own ass. “How the hell are my two favorite assholes?” Lane said.

“Well, it’s been one long goddamn hot miserable shit-ass fuckin’ day every inch of the way. Tim decided that gas wasn’t necessary during our four-hour car ride here from Jersey.”

“We got here didn’t we?” Tim saw Lane’s open bedroom door & ran in. He did a 5 Star Frog Splash onto the foot of her bed. Luckily, Bam had sat up when Spider came in, or Tim would have landed on his legs.

Lane looked at Tim with the same confused look she almost always does. “Just who the hell do you think you are?”

“I know exactly who I am, sweetheart, I’m a guy who came a long way for lunch.”

“Oh, well, please don’t let me keep you from the trough.”

Phoenix bumping into Spider until he spoke up. “Yeah, okay, Gina called me so I’m gonna head out. Lane, think about what I said. I love you. I’ll see you when you get back. Call me when you get to Rob’s place.” He stretched his arms for a hug.

In the embrace Lane said, “Michael, you sound like Daddy.”

Walking down the stairs Spider called out “Fuck you everybody, goodnight.”

Tim was staring at Bam when the girls walked into the room. He turned to them and said, “If Spider were an ice cream flavor he’d be pralines & dick.”

“That’s my brother you’re talking about. But I’ll allow it since he doesn’t like you.”

“My hiney’s asleep.” Phoenix said laying down next to Tim.

“Fine, babe, we’ll keep our voices down.” Tim said kissing her. “So what’s the plan, Laney?”

“Plan 9 from Outer Space.” Lane answered. Tim just gave her a dumbfounded look. “I don’t know. Apparently, Merrick is coming with us. Let me change & we’ll figure out something to do.”

Pheonix791989 · October 22, 2006

yay I make an apperance!! *tackle hugs spider* w00t

wonderland · December 30, 2006

Chapter 8

Lane grabbed her coffee & went into her closet, closing the door behind her. Phoenix crawled up the bed & sat next to Bam. She put her head on his shoulders. “Do we make you nervous, or is it Spider? Ooh, is it Laney?”

“What are you talking about? I’m not nervous.”

Tim was lifting his shirt & dancing in front of the mirror like Jame Gumb (a.k.a. Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs). “Bam, dude, I know you. You could never keep quiet for that long.” He took a pause. “Why do men have nipples? Oohhh…” Tim said giving himself a sexy look in the mirror.

Lane came out in a red tank top with a black & white ‘God Save The Queen’ Sex Pistols zip down hoodie with pinstripe pants & a pair of combat boots. She lifted her cup to her mouth & noticed Tim. She paused for a second & went into her bathroom to fix her makeup.

When she came out of the bathroom all 3 of them were still sitting on her bed, watching The Crow; the DVD that was already in Lane’s player that was connected to the TV in her armoire.

“I take so long to get ready you started watching The Crow? That’s sad.” Lane said scratching her head.

“It is. Now can we go eat? I’m fucking starved.” Tim said poking his stomach.

“Yeah, go wait outside with Merrick. I’m gonna go tell Rob & Sheri since we won’t be back until it’s time for us to go to the airport. Bam, wanna go?”

“Yeah, I’d love to. I’m just going to get my cell phone. I’ll most likely leave when you do so I don’t want to leave it here. Um, what about my clothes?”

“Oh, Sheri will do them when we’re gone of she has the time. Otherwise, you can pop by whenever I get back. Spider doesn’t wear those clothes anymore so you can keep them. What time is it?” Lane looked at a pocket watch that sat on the night side by Bam. “Damn it’s early. What the hell is open at 8am?”

“McDonalds!” Tim & Phoenix yelled out in unison, jumping on Lane’s bed with their knees.

“Oh Grandpa Munster! Okay, okay, Happy Meals for all.”

“Alright. Boo-ya. Hey, Phoenix, race you to Merrick.” Tim said jumping off the bed, almost loosing his balance on the landing.

“You’re on, bitch.” She kissed him & took off running.

“Hey! What the… Damn!” With that Tim took off running.

Lane & Bam looked at each other & smiled. Bam got up & extended his elbow to escort Lane down the stairs. She nodded & her hand around his elbow.

When they got the stairs, in front of the guest room, Bam took Lane by the hand & slightly pushed her further down the hall with his hand on the small of her back.

Bam went into the room & grabbed his cell phone. There were 3 missed calls; all from Jenn. He didn’t even bother to call her back. He’d be home either that night or the next morning, so he wasn’t worried. He stood in the doorframe until Lane came out of Rob’s room.

::Meanwhile::

Lane went to Rob & Sheri’s door & knocked the theme from ‘Bonanza’.

Sheri opened the door, rubbing her eyes. “Laverne? Is that you? Come on in. We were sleeping, toots. Our plane leaves in like, what, 12 hours or so.” (*Author’s note: Yes, they, once in a blue moon, call each other Laverne & Shirley - like the show from 1976-1983 that was a spin-off from ‘Happy Days’ - since their names begin w/ the same letters as Laverne & Shirley.)

“Hey, Shirley. I just wanted to tell you that I’m going out with Tim, Phoenix & Bam for a bit. I’ll be back in time to leave for the airport. Bam & I have muddy clothes in Spider’s & my hampers… if you have time can you pop them in the wash?”

“If I have time I will. If not we’ll just call mom & see if she’s coming to check on Michael. Otherwise you’ll have to wait until you get back & do it yourself.”

“Yeah, Michael went to Gina’s house. So who knows when he’ll be back. They’ll probably eat, get drunk & fuck all day. So he’ll be back after we leave.”

Rob woke up & turned to see the girls. “Michael’s at Gina’s again?”

“Yepper-doodles.”

Sheri sat down in the bed, “When was the last time you had a date? Like, an actual date that led to more than just ‘wham bam thank you ma’am.”

“Um, it was Elijah Blue, just before ‘Commencement’ came out. In fact, some of those songs are about us. So my guess it was 2001 & we dated until 2003.”

“That was 4 years ago Laney! You need a date.” Sheri said in shock.

“Ya know, you need to find somebody that likes the way you are.”

“And who would possibly like me the way I am, Rob?”

“I have no idea.” He pulled the cover up & fell back to sleep.

“Thanks big brother, I love you too. Okay, well I’m off. Ta!” Sheri climbed under the sheets, waving Lane off.

Lane saw Bam was waiting for her in the hallway. “What? Loose your way or something?”

“Can’t a man just walk a woman to her car without being heckled about it?”

“Everyone does everything just to get laid.”

“Who said that? Freud?”

“No, I did.”

“Women. If it weren’t for them, there’d be no civilization.”

“Damn right, Pony Boy. Now you wanna walk me to Merrick? What’s stopping you?” At that exact moment his cell phone rang. “That’s a good answer.” Bam looked at his phone, this time it was Ape. He really didn’t feel like putting up with her bitching so he turned the volume off & led Lane down the stairs to Tim & Phoenix who were skating around the cars.

“Nobody better had touched Merrick.” Lane said lifting an eyebrow.

“Don’t worry, we know the rules.” Phoenix said getting off her board.

wonderland · December 30, 2006

Chapter 9

“Bam, since I doubt you’ve ever been in a hearse before, let alone Merrick, I’ll give you the option of sitting up front or in the back. And don’t worry, there is enough room in the back, so you don’t have to lie down if you don’t want to. But you have to be careful of the upholstery.”

“Have there been any dead bodies back there?”

“Come on now, it’s a 1972 Cadillac Superior Crown. Of course there have been. But it’s nothing to be scared of. Nobody’s died in a hearse. I can’t go in an ambulance myself. Did you ever think how many people have died in on of those or the bodily fluids that have left one’s body? I mean, no disrespect for ambulance people, but I can’t do it. But, while I was working for a funeral home where I first drove Merrick, I only took about 30 cases a year. Before that it was maybe 50 or so a year. Which is really a low number. I drove for a local parlor while at NYFA & after graduation while I was a video editor at Troma, doing DVD extra features & shit. I always wanted to work there & moved up the ladder. When I got promoted to my producing job at Troma, I had to quit my driving job & I couldn’t bear to part with him & they were getting a new one so they let me buy him.”

“I think I’ll just sit up front.”

“Suit yourself, but you’re missing out.”

They all piled into Merrick. The upholstery was a beautiful velvety red. Lane grabbed a hold of matching steering wheel cover as she turned the key. The moment the engine turned & the car started so did Deadsy. Lane sang along with the words in her deep, scratchy, almost Courtney Love like voice.

Well she comes from the land

Of Valencian winds

Deciduous daydream

Dressage round the bend

See sometimes just maybe

The mistress of when

A triptych of new touch

From heaven to men

She likes nice cars

Invisible trends

She bites the heads off

Her mutual friends

We dine at the table

She sits at the end

She likes big words

And playing pretend

Come now dear boys

How, where to begin?

She's Ursula, major

Of the prison within

She's always in parties

She's struggling to win

Your sashes of New-Ro

From psychic to sin

Let down your void

Your need to defend

So pseudo-mendacious

She's cruel in bed

You'd think she was precious

Something like you said

Cause she's got the secret

In which fate depends

She likes nice cars

Impossible trends

She bites the heads off

Her beautiful friends

We dine at the table

She sits at the end

She likes big words

Although we'll never comprehend

She likes nice cars

Invisible trends

She bites the heads off

Her musical friends

We dine at the table

She sits at the end

She likes big words

She likes nice cars

Impossible trends

She bites the heads off

Her beautiful friends

She lights all the candles

They burn at both ends

She likes the ones

That you'll never understand

She likes big words

Lane took them to a McDonalds in downtown Manhattan. She parked the 21-foot Merrick as far away from the door & as well as she could. Tim ran up the entrance, flipping over the tiny metal fence by the door.

There was a man sitting on the curb by the dumpsters smoking. He looked a little like a dirty mix of Keith Flint of the Prodigy & Billy Idol. He had a green double mohawk with blonde roots. He was wearing a pair of ripped gray Dickies work pants, a dirty wife beater, an old beat up jacket with an Anarchy symbol patch safety pinned to the back, & a pair of combat boots that were dirty & very well worn in. He had the septum & bridge of his nose pierced, almost as many ear piercings as Lane (*Authors note: she has 20 total…15 in her left including the tragus & 5 in the right. I forgot to mention that earlier, sorry), and his left eyebrow double pierced. He had a tattoo of a koi fish becoming a dragon on his outer left calf. (*Authors note: yeah again, I know. Just wanted to say that I don’t know if you all know the legend of the koi fish. Let me know if you want me to post the inspirational tale.) He had nautical stars on each hand, a pirate sleeve on the left arm & a punk rock inspired sleeve on the right (skulls, the anarchy symbol, the grim reaper in front of the Union Jack…I think you get the idea). The word ‘punk’ was on his right knuckles & ‘life’ on the left. Lane noticed him & said, “Hey guys, get me a coffee or a Blue Mountain Dew. I’ll be in, in a few minutes.” She started walking toward the man.

The man looked up at her, flicked his cigarette & met her halfway before hugging her. He spoke with a British accent, “Hey Baby Z! How’s my favorite living dead girl?”

“Hey Gutter. Oh, I’m so glad to see you.”

“That’s nice, Laney.”

“I was talking to the cigarettes.” She grabbed a box from his chest pocket & he lit the cigarette for her.

“It’s been a while, what’s up with the hair?”

“Oh, Sheri. Hey, check it out, new tattoo. Based slightly on Tank Girl.”

“Tank Girl? Yeah, you would.” He

“Where have you been the last few months?”

“Here, there… kicked out of an apartment, motels, abandoned buildings, what have you.”

“Well, you know if you make it up to the Upper West Side, my place is always open.”

“Yeah, but I get the wiggins with all those business types there. How do you handle it?”

“Eh, over the years we learned to tolerate each other. I have friend inside. Come on in, I’ll buy you food.”

“You know I don’t eat this shit. Fucking capitalist pigs.”

“So why are you here?”

“Eh, wanted to smoke. Took a rest stop.”

“Will you at least put your politics aside for a while & hang with me and a couple other of my friends.”

He took a deep sigh. “Only because I love you. But not for too long, eh?”

“Gotcha.”

They started walking toward the restaurant when a few people started yelling to them. Things like: “God hates smokers, I’m happy you’re gonna die from it.” “Damn, it’s another of those emo chicks.” “Hey! Why are you with that queer?” “Get a job!” “Anarchy in the UK!” (Obviously sarcastic) “Punk sucks!” “Just go back to the Hot Topic where you came from.”

Lane & Gutter stopped dead in their tracks. They looked at each other with rage in their eyes. They turned around and with fists clenched walked up to the 5 ‘preppy’ young teens, who compared to Gutter & Lane really were just babies, & started fighting them.

wonderland · December 30, 2006

Chapter 9 <Continued>

::Meanwhile::

After they had all ordered & sat down, Tim & Bam noticed that this McDonalds’ had a PlayPlace. They looked at each other with a twinkle in their eyes. The both got up and ran inside. They sat atop the jungle gym eating for a few minutes when a worker came up to them to try to get them down. Tim & Bam paid no attention to the worker & kept on joking on each other.

Phoenix had gotten an idea while the boys were pulling the small-scale prank on the workers of McDonalds. She had decided to pull a prank on Tim. She knew once they were banned from the McDonalds that they would get down. She got up & went over to the soda fountain.

After Bam & Tim argued with the worker, she left & got the manager. When the manager came up, Tim started climbing around the top of the gym as Bam argued with him. After another few more minutes and a few ‘choice’ words later, Bam threw his drink at the manager. They then had the choice to leave the premises & never return or the cops would be called.

Tim put his arm around Phoenix as they walked out. It was then that Phoenix poured the ice cubes she had just acquired down Tim’s back. Tim started to scream & danced about, trying to get the ice from down his shirt. Bam & Phoenix just pointed and laughed as they made their way to the parking lot.

“Phi, damn it, I swear… Oh shit, not again.” Tim said, now looking with concern. Bam & Phoenix looked to where Tim was now pointing.

Gutter & Lane were still fighting the teens. They were holding their own, but they were still outnumbered. Just as Gutter was stomping on the face of one of the boys, Lane was throwing the head of one of the girls into the side of the dumpster knocking her out. Lane & Gutter’s faces were bloodied, their clothes were torn & dirty.

Bam rushed over & grabbed Lane around the waist, picking her up & taking her out of the fight. Gutter noticed Lane was gone & started to back up. He spat on the kids before saying, “You wankers better fucking learn some respect. Fucking piss off!” Gutter then went over to where the group now was.

Phoenix went back inside, since she was still allowed in & got ice for Lane’s now black eye. When she came back out, the teens had left. While they were younger & had more on their side, Lane & Gutter had their ‘punk’ experience on their side. For as long as they could remember they’ve been ridiculed & been into fights for their lifestyle. They had grown accustomed to it, and been in many fights for the last 15 plus years. They had been in fights almost daily in high school, when those kids were still in diapers. Gutter was around the same age as Rob & therefore had about double the fighting experience as Lane, both in America & England. This, of course, was excluding their combined moshing experiences.

“Lane, why didn’t you call me out to help. There were 5 of them & you know I always have firecrackers on hand.” Phoenix said putting the ice wrapped in napkins on Lane’s eye.

“Yeah, Phi, I know. It was just involuntary. You know normally I would, but with Gutter there & you were inside. It felt like old times. It was nice. Maybe next time, honey. Oh, yeah, Bam this is Gutter. Gutter, Bam.”

“’Ello.”

“Hey, man.”

“Right. Lane I love ya, but I best be off. I got ta go to rehearsal.”

“Rehearsal? When have you ever rehearsed?”

“Bassist’s dead, gotta find a new one.”

“Ah, alrighty then. Call me if you land in jail. I’ll see you ‘round sometime.”

Gutter lit a cigarette. After he exhaled, he gave Lane a hug & a peck on the lips, then walked off. Lane had a smile on her face, “So, what next?”

Pheonix791989 · December 30, 2006

yay! beat the shit out of them pussies! go gutter and lane! *lights up the fire crackers*

wonderland · October 24, 2007

Chapter 10

Lane bit her lip & squinted her left eye as she thought. Down the street, about a block away, she saw a scarecrow in front of a store. Her eyes shot open & her jaw dropped.

“Oh, shit. She found something. This should be good.” Tim said.

Lane grabbed a hold of Phoenix & Bam’s wrists, as they were standing right next to her, and started running down the street, dragging everyone behind her. They stopped in front of a Halloween store. Lane jumped up & down, giddy with excitement before slithering her way in.

She started looking at costumes. After a minute or so Tim & Phoenix had wandered off. Lane & Bam didn’t even notice. Bam was actually too entranced, thinking of what Lane would look like in each outfit she looked at. “I’m surprised that your little girly hasn’t called you again, Bam.”

“I turned my volume off. Wait, why don’t you have a costume already?”

“I’ve had a lot of work and conventions, I didn’t have the time. It sucks because I love Halloween.”

“I’ve been in your house before, I’ve noticed.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Yeah, just a little bit.” They both started to laugh. “Plus, babe, your name is Zombie.”

Lane stopped laughing, “Yeah, ok, don’t call me babe.”

“Got it.” Bam said going back to looking at costumes. After a few minutes of silence, Lane looked over to Bam & poked Bam in his ribs. “Hey, what the hell?”

“Eh, I just felt like it.”

“Oh you did? Well, what if I just felt like…” Bam attacked her, trying to find her tickle spot, which wasn’t hard to find as she was quite ticklish. She tripped backwards over a box of masks, Bam falling on top of her, still tickling her. She squirmed trying to get away from him, hitting her head on an end-cap of an aisle. Bam put his over where she hit her head and smiled. “Are you ok? That sounded like it hurt.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Wanna get off me now?”

“Not really but I will.”

As Bam helped her up, Phoenix came running around the corner screaming. Tim was chasing her with a realistic looking spider in his hands, laughing. Bam & Lane just looked on as they passed. “Why do I feel as though I already have kids?” Lane said shaking her head, going back to the costumes.

wonderland · October 24, 2007

Chapter 11

Lane found a Vampira outfit & ran to purchase it. Since the clothes she was wearing her dirty, ripped, & bloody from the fight she wore the costume out. That way she’d be less likely to be stopped by security at the airport.

She took them to the park so the rest of them could skate. Bam left his in his car, so he sat out with Lane. She had a noticeable shiver so Bam put his coat around her. She smiled and thanked him.

“Why are you wearing the costume now? I mean, you look great in that costume but, aren’t you going to the Misfits concert when you get there?”

“Not right away. From the airport I’ll catch a cab to Rob’s since he & Sheri will be going out for dinner for their anniversary. I’ll be handling the trick-or-treaters & looking after Dracula. Once that’s over I’ll do a quick change & go to the concert. I have it timed perfectly.”

“As long as you know what you’re doing.”

“I always know what I’m doing. Comes with age I think.”

“You’re not old. You’re 30.”

“Never said I was, I’m baby of my family. That’s why a lot of my friends call me Baby Z. BUT, I’m not a kid anymore either.”

“You didn’t get anything at McDonald’s. Are you hungry? Or are you going to eat on the plane?”

“Who eats on planes? I might just steal some of the candy from the trick-or-treater’s bowl. I’ll be sleeping on the plane anyways. I won’t get sleep until after the concert. And even then that’s up in the air. I might hang out with Jerry & the guys & their chicks after.”

“Well I’m buying you lunch then. Sit here.” Bam got up & got her a slice of pizza. “Here, you need something to keep up your energy for the airport & concert.”

“Thank you. Why are you being so nice to me? You don’t seem the type. Plus, won’t your girlfriend get upset?”

“Eh, fuck her. I’m being nice because you’re so fucking nice to me & I known you for what, a day? Plus, you’re an awesome chick. I like you.”

“I’d say I like you too but I’m gonna hold off until I see your asshole side. But yeah, me too.”

“How’s your head?”

“I haven’t had any complaints yet.”

“Lalaina…”

“Oh please don’t say my full name unless I’m n trouble. I hate it.”

“Oh well, Spider said…”

“He was doing the big brother thing.”

“Ah, I see. So, tell me about yourself. You’ve seen my shows, so you know about me. What about you?”

“What about me what?”

“Tell me about yourself.”

“Um, ask me questions you wanna know.”

“What's the wildest thing you've ever done?”

“I hope I haven't done it yet.”

“Okay, so I heard your brother say you’re looking for a boyfriend...”

“Yeah, but I'm not shooting for a "successful" or “proper” relationship, if you will, at this point. I'm just looking for something that will prevent me from throwing myself in front of a bus. I'm keeping my expectations very, very low.”

“What is a "proper relationship"?”

“Living with someone who talks to you after they banged you.”

“Ok, favorite movie?”

“The correct answer is Cool Hand Luke.”

“I've never seen it.”

“Oh, come on! You've never seen Cool Hand Luke? Paul Newman? Oh my god! Come on! "Failure to communicate", sadistic cop with sunglasses with no name, who reminds me of you in that way.”

“Brandon.”

“Ah, I get it now.”

“Which did you like better? "Jedi" or "The Empire Strikes Back"?

"Empire".

“Blasphemy!”

"Empire" had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets.”

“You do realize that Star Wars was made to be children’s movies right?”

“Yeah.”

“Let's go do something.”

“All right, what d'ya wanna do?”

“I don't care.”

“All right, come on.”

They were about to get up when they heard Phi yelling at Tim. From what they could hear, Phoenix was attempting to do a triple heel flip & Tim was supposed to spot her. She fell. Tim was paying more attention to the scantily clan jogger that had just run by.

“What the fuck, Tim? Why were you looking at her? You were supposed to spot me! You go on & on about not trusting me when it’s you who can’t be trusted! Y’know what? I don’t want to hear your fucking excuses. I’m fucking out of here. We are so through. You finally fucking blew it big time.” Phoenix didn’t give Tim time to respond. She just walked away, to where Lane & Bam were sitting. “Can we go now Laney?”

“Yeah. Bam, it looks like we’ll have to rain check that something to do someplace for a later date. Spider should be back at the hose by now. He’s taking us to the airport since I don’t want to take Merrick & Jim is a two-seater.” Lane answered as they walked back to her hearse, leaving Tim behind, in shock, at the park.

“Who the fuck is Jim?” Bam questioned.

“He’s my ’71 El Camino. My everyday car, my first car. I named him Jim because ’71 was the year Jim Morrison passed. He’s a beater, but I love him.”

“An El Camino?” Bam, still questioning because he couldn’t believe his ears.

“It was all I could afford then. Yeah, I could trade him for a few hundred, but I love him too much to. I even refuse to get a CD player installed.”

“You are weird.” Bam said with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes. I know I am. Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

They got back to Merrick. Phoenix sat in the front, between Lane & Bam. He put his arm around her & she laid her head on his shoulder. “I’m just so fucking sick of Tim’s fucking bullshit.” Phi said not knowing whether to scream in anger, or cry.

“Sweets, I’ve known Tim longer than you & I know how much of an ass Tim is most of the time. So, it’s good that you broke it off. Sad thing, I’ve known you for a fraction of the time I’ve known him & I’m ready to cut ties with him b/c he did that to you, one of my friends. Michael said from the beginning that Tim wasn’t the kind to stay with one girl for a long time, being that he’s a skater. I didn’t think he’d actually do that. Y’know I’m ready to go back there & punch his fucking lights out. You are staying at my place, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Don’t think Spider will care, he likes all the attention. Egotistical rock star bastard. He hated Tim, so that’s good. Well, most skaters really. He likes you for the most part. I think he chalks it up to you being a kid. Well, compared to him you are… he was drinking at punk shows back in Boston before you were born. Okay, mouth diarrhea. You’re moving in to the House That Zombies Built. Shutting up now.”

“Really? Great. Thanks, Laney. I couldn’t do this without you. Tim was my first boyfriend, my first…well, y’know?”

“Lover? Yeah, I know sweetie. It happens to all of us.”

Bam tilted his head back & decided to take a trip down Memory Lane. “She’s right. Take my first girlfriend, Michelle. I was 15. She cheated on me with some fucko fingering her at the beach.”

“Oh, so that part in Haggard...”

Bam cut Phi off. “Yes, that was about me. And while you never forget your first, you do get over it & move on.”

“Oh so very true. Something very similar happened to me. I lost my virginity to Nirvana’s ‘Nevermind’ CD which just came out, so it was 1992. That would have made me…14/15 years old. We started dating when I was 14, lost it at 15…all in ’92. Anywho, he was 17. When Rob found out, huge fight. Spider was actually pretty cool about it. He had even given me ‘the talk’. Kind of a funny story, but that’s for later. Either way, Rob got pissed so I gave myself a rainbow colored mohawk. When I was 16, I found out he was cheating on me since the beginning. But with family, friends, a lot punk shows & meeting my then future husband, I got over it.”

“Thanks again for this Laney. I’ll be out as soon as I can find my own place. I don’t want to be a burden on you & Spider.”

“Nonsense! There’s no rush whatever. You should know that. Hell, I don’t care if you live with us permanently. Spider was originally using my place to crash when in town. He was living in Boston at the time, and then he just decided to stay since I didn’t charge him shit. You stay as long as you want.”

They finally pulled into Lane’s driveway. Spider was on the walkway, talking with Criss Angel. Lane got out of her hearse & a smile emerged on her face. “Criss!” She an up to him & jumped into his arms. They gave each other a kiss on the cheek before Lane hopped down. “So how was the vacation?”

“Well, I had to work on the show, but it was fantastic. Oh, I got something for you Baby Z.” Criss borrowed Spider’s denim jacket & placed it over Lane’s outstretched hands. When he removed it, there was a black kitten that couldn’t have been more than a couple weeks old.

“Oh Herman Munster!”

“You like him?”

“I love this gift! It's even better than chocolate. And since of my favorite illusionists gave him to me on Halloween of all days, his name will be…Houdini.”

“Quite appropriate.”

“Shit-fuck. I have to get to the airport, like…yesterday.”

Spider put his arm around Lane’s neck. “I’ll look after him. Gina & I broke up again.”

Rob & Sheri came out, throwing their bags into Spider’s pickup trucks’ flatbed. “You & Gina broke up again? How many did that make, Spider?” Sheri asked.

“I lost count, but this time it’s for good.” He answered taking Houdini from Lane.

“Oh who’s this?” Criss extended his hand out.

“Criss, Phoenix. Phi, this is Criss.”

“That an awesome bracelet. May I see it for a second?” Criss asked with a smile.

“Um, okay…” Phi answered, not knowing what to expect.

Criss took the bracelet, crumbled it in his hand, and with his other hand pulled a rose out, “This is yours, I believe.”

Phi looked in amazement, at the rose questioning in her head how he turned her bracelet into a perfect rose. She snapped back to, & realized Spider & Lane weren’t next to each other. She was talking to him by his truck.

Spider walked up to Phoenix. “Laney just told me about this afternoon. Looks like things just ain’t working out for either one of us today kiddo. Sorry it ended that way, but I’m glad you got rid of that little fucker. You deserve better. You’re staying here. And when you’re ready I’ll take you to get your things. Until then, I guess, you can wear Lane’s things. She a little taller & ummm….”

Sheri shouted out, “They’re called boobs, Spider. And your sister’s got a great pair.” Spider looked a bit embarrassed & a little sick. “Don’t worry about it, Phi. I got a B cup too; I have some clothes in our closet. Take what you want.”

“Thanks, Sher.”

“Hey, it's half past a monkey's ass, let's get out of here.” Spider said, trying change subjects.

Bam finally realized if he didn’t speak up now, he might not get the chance again. “Hey, um, what about my clothes?”

Sheri put her hand over her mouth, “Shit. Sorry. I didn’t have time.”

Lane thought for a second. “Well, you can run in now & get them or wait a few day until I’m back.”

“I guess I can wait, We’re all on a tight schedule.”

Spider shouted, “Phi! Get in the truck. I don’t want you here alone when Tim gets her gets pick up his car.”

Phoenix kicked Tim’s car door before getting into the back with Sheri.

Lane ran up to Bam, “Okay so either I’ll be home the 1st or 2nd. You have my number, if need be. So, I’ll check ya on the flip side!” She gave Bam a big hug. Spider stared down Bam with a snarl. Causing a chill to up Bam's spine

Lane then ran to Criss. “Thanks again for Houdini, he so damned cute!” They gave each other a kiss on the lips before getting into the truck.

“What's with this kissing all of a sudden? I don't like it. Every time he goes out of this house, he shakes my hand and kisses you.” Spider said, sounding very concerned.

Lane replied with a smile, “Would you prefer it the other way around?”

They all waved goodbye to each other as Bam’s Lambo, Criss’ Viper, & Spider’s tuck pulled out of the House of Zombie drive, going their separate ways.

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