Person's Journal

[Person]

I hadn't updated in a while...and it's because a whole bunch of things have been happening recently. Here's the '411' on the situation.

 

So last week me and my ex decided not to communicate in any way anymore. Well...she decided, not me. Here's the e-mail that ended it all:

 

 

Actually, you know what? I'm going to tell you this in a way that I mean it, but it's going to be far more harsh than I would ever think. Writing to you changes you and I've noticed, but you know what, it's kind of getting annoying. The fact that you can't forget about me. I'll tell you this for the first and last time...there is NO hope between us. NONE.

 

This is the only way I could think of telling you and convincing you that I've stopped liking you and it will never happen again. I'd say I'm sorry, but wouldn't that just make you feel as if I pittied you? Thanks for you feelings and I mean it, but it can't happen. I know it may be hard to forget, but the only way that can happen is if there is NO CONNECTION between us WHATSOEVER. I've decided I'm not writing to you again.

 

The chapters may have given you hope...I didn't think about that (yet another one of my unintentional harsh things I could've done). Delete everything...don't mentions me intentionally in any of your conversations. TRY your hardest to forget everything no matter how hard it may be.

 

I know this may give you a big shock, but you need to know what I feel...didn't you tell me that before? I don't know what else to say, though, I know you understand. You may not want to acknowledge it, and eventually, you'll have to. This will break you again, won't it? People will see through you...seems I just continued what I didn't want to even start last year...

 

This is hard for me to do, but I had to do it. You need to move on. Take care, Person...

 

P.S. And like I said don't mention anything that can possible mess up my relationship with my friends...especially to Juan. He talks too much and says things he shouldn't to others. Don't even bother getting mad at him either. You should start thinking more about your friends too instead of wasting your thoughts on me.

 

 

I'm guessing she ditched me once again for her friends. She also advised me to care more for my friends...and I do...but they're only friends. There's only so much I would do for them but anyways...I'm over her. She means nothing to me...and it feels great I feel like a heave burden has been lifted from me (for some reason).

 

On Thursday, I left to this competition for DECA in our school. It was some business crap where we had to dress in suits and stuffs. We slept over because there were two parts of the whole competition (a test and an interview sorta thing). I ate A LOT during those two days. The first day we went to eat at a mexican restaurant, then outback steakhouse, some haggen dazs ice cream, and finally, some pizza towards the end of the day (that got delivered to our hotel rooms ). The next day was a macdonalds breakfast, some more ice cream, chili's, and I ended the day going to Fuddrucker's (awesome hamburger place) with my friends after I returned home. We then watched the movie 'Unleashed', and my best friend broke up with his girlfriend (another girl...same guy =.=). The day ended with us chasing him by car because the dude took off in his own. Luckily we calmed him down and I drove him back to his house...where it had all started.

 

I hate the drama these days...I liked life better when guys and girls had cooties =.=

[that-chick]

w0w she sounded so mean in that letter

[Person]

yea...her tone was the main factor in me being able to move on. If she hadn't sounded so mean, then maybe I wouldn't have gotten over her...meh...thanx for reading =D at least I know some people care lol.

[jackie]

w0w she sounded so mean in that letter

yeah my eXact feelings

[Peterdea]

dude that e-mail is weak! there was no need for her to act like that. even though you dont think you'd get over her if she was nicer, you don't deserve to be just shut out in that way.

but if your over it and its not bothering you, then great! Go hunt some aliens!

[GraDoN]

well good thing you moved on....

sux to live in the past

[MrsBennington-Delson]

If I ever come to texas ill kick her ass! geez i hate girls acting like idk... btw i dont want to sound rude but its not her problem if you cant get over her... and why cant she tell you that right into your face...? no she has to write a mail... thats so bah....

[Person]

lol *shrugs* it's just she's too shy about it...she's always been like that but bah! whatever hehehe I'm over her so she doesn't really matter anymore.

 

lets see...well today I purchased Area 51 for pete...im glad he'll be happy hehehe

OH! and they said my name on the intercom today during school >.< why does everyone have to cheer? lol I scored a goal for my soccer team in today's 2 - 0 win over the 'best team' in our district =.= we showed them I also went back to my rap/hip-hop roots (making fun of mike hehehe) and placed my old music onto my iPod...I still can rap the verses hehehe. Over all, it was a great day. can't wait for tomorrow for some reason O.o

[MrsBennington-Delson]

congrats for your winin with your soccer team... im so flashed right now dk what to say...

[that-chick]

rap/hip hop roots... u crack me up

[Person]

hehe it's been a while...but I'm back.

 

The whole layout change has curved me off this website for a while, and I haven't posted as much as I used to. I'm just glad that the yellow is gone Anyways, let me get to the point.

 

Yesterday was the suckiest day that I've had in a while. I had a class with my ex...and I had to suffer through it. Here at my school, Wednesdays are the "long days" because our classes last about an hour and thirty minutes rather than the usual fifty-five minutes. Well, she gave out candy or whatever to EVERYONE in the classroom...except me. What kind of shit is that? Bah! It tore me up inside...we had one of those moments where we stared at each other in the eye for like 5 seconds. It was magical...but then we like turned away. It hurts...it hurts a lot.

 

Then the day ended and I went to this park with my friend. We were going through all the trees or whatever and like as soon as we got to the deepest part of it, we found this huge lake/pond thing. I was consumed by my thoughts as soon as I peered straight out. I was completely taken over by the waters' movement and whatnot. My friend throughout the whole time was trying to snap me out of it...because he was here for the same reason, and if we were both acting "emo", then we'd be stuck here forever lol.

 

Well, he finally managed to snap me out of it and so I headed off home. We crossed over the bridge and were back. That was almost the end of my miserable day...I just had to deal with my parents, sisters, etc. It took me a while until I finally decided that sleeping was the best cure for it all. A couple of hours of dreaming and it was finally over.

 

I don't want to go through all the stuff again. WHat do I need to do people? Why am I still stuck in my past after I know what she has done to me? Bah!

[Peterdea]

hehe it's been a while...but I'm back.

 

The whole layout change has curved me off this website for a while, and I haven't posted as much as I used to. I'm just glad that the yellow is gone Anyways, let me get to the point.

 

Yesterday was the suckiest day that I've had in a while. I had a class with my ex...and I had to suffer through it. Here at my school, Wednesdays are the "long days" because our classes last about an hour and thirty minutes rather than the usual fifty-five minutes. Well, she gave out candy or whatever to EVERYONE in the classroom...except me. What kind of shit is that? Bah! It tore me up inside...we had one of those moments where we stared at each other in the eye for like 5 seconds. It was magical...but then we like turned away. It hurts...it hurts a lot.

 

Then the day ended and I went to this park with my friend. We were going through all the trees or whatever and like as soon as we got to the deepest part of it, we found this huge lake/pond thing. I was consumed by my thoughts as soon as I peered straight out. I was completely taken over by the waters' movement and whatnot. My friend throughout the whole time was trying to snap me out of it...because he was here for the same reason, and if we were both acting "emo", then we'd be stuck here forever lol.

 

Well, he finally managed to snap me out of it and so I headed off home. We crossed over the bridge and were back. That was almost the end of my miserable day...I just had to deal with my parents, sisters, etc. It took me a while until I finally decided that sleeping was the best cure for it all. A couple of hours of dreaming and it was finally over.

 

I don't want to go through all the stuff again. WHat do I need to do people? Why am I still stuck in my past after I know what she has done to me? Bah!

i know the feeling bro, i just slept it off when i got it. but dont do what i do now (which is block it all out)... that is a bad thing to do!

[Person]

Obviously, trying to deal with it didn't help either as she just doesn't want to talk to me for some reason. I never did anything bad to her, yet, she treats me as if I did. I dunno what to do >.<

[Person]

February 16, 2007

 

Hehehe I think my dog is dying for some reason. I got up this morning and went to feed it (normally it attacks me for the food) but it didn't even touch it. It looked depressed, and I even saw it scratch his paw on the bouganvillea tree in our backyard. I'm guessing he's emo or something *shrugs*.

 

Today, I was walking to class for my first period (extremely cold =x). Along the way, I saw my best friend walking with my ex. I didn't pay any attention because they were good friends before we went out or whatever. ANyways, I got the dude for 1st period and he came in all weird. He tells me, "I can't believe that almost happened." I, of course, knew something happened between the two, so I kept pressing at him until he finally collapsed and told me that they almost kissed. He said it as if I would care (which is really stupid because I don't mind them being together). I have no authority over what they do or whatever, and well, as long as she's happy, I don't care. He then tells me that he didn't want to. That he still hasn't gotten over his ex, and that being with her wouldn't even work out (because he learned from what happened between me and her). All I said was, "If you really don't want anything to happen, go ahead and tell her straight up; but don't expect you two to be so close from now on because that chick is weird and she'll take it as an offense against her. She'll most likely ignore you from then on out and you're gonna regret anything." After saying that, I also told him, "Anyways, I don't know why you come to me to tell me all this. I know I'm your best friend or whatever but we went out and stuff. I can truly say though, that out of all the people out there, you're the only one I accept her to be with. I can trust you and that's good enough for me."

 

The bell rings in about 15 minutes and I'm gonna meet up with him to see what happened (I'm assuming he told her already). If she ends up ignoring him too, I swear something is going to happen. I wouldn't be able to believe that someone so sweet as her can be so heartless/cruel to do it not one, not twice, but three times. So far, the "List of Ignorance" includes me and my friend Timothy. Hopefully, WILLIAM isn't the next on there.

 

Later mah peeps!

*chunks the duece*

[Person]

lol I guess no one really cares about my life or whatever. Uhh, today was a cool day. Nothing much left do now but talk to this new chick that I think is really really cute. Michelle is her name...and she seems super special to me. We've only been talking for like this past week and I already feel that I've known her for such a long time. Hopefully, something can come out of this relationship because I havent felt this way about another chick since my last girlfriend. Now that I've completely moved on and my feeling for her were passed on to some other dude, I can finally be free. It's a great feeling hehehe. I'm guessing shorter will get more people to read it. Catch y'all later!

[MrsBennington-Delson]

Cool u found someone again!

and I'm honest I don't like huge texts

but dont be mad at me... :'(

 

Take care :thumbsup:

[Peterdea]

lol I guess no one really cares about my life or whatever. Uhh, today was a cool day. Nothing much left do now but talk to this new chick that I think is really really cute. Michelle is her name...and she seems super special to me. We've only been talking for like this past week and I already feel that I've known her for such a long time. Hopefully, something can come out of this relationship because I havent felt this way about another chick since my last girlfriend. Now that I've completely moved on and my feeling for her were passed on to some other dude, I can finally be free. It's a great feeling hehehe. I'm guessing shorter will get more people to read it. Catch y'all later!

hey your sounding like... super happy! lol

and yes its easier to read it summed up shorter!!! LOL

[Person]

Do you remember me?

If you do, what was I to you?

Do you remember the time we spent together?

What we did, what we said?

Were there some things we didn't say?

If you had a chance, would you say them?

Are you procrastinating?

Do you have a reason to?

Do you think of me?

Was I just someone you met?

Was I a rock in your path?

Did I make an impression?

Could you distinguish me among the crowd of shadows?

Did I fade in your memory?

Was I ever there?

Did you choose to change my life?

Do you hope you ever did?

If I was to be willing to give you my heart, would you care?

Would you remember me?

Do you remember me?

[The_dArkEst_dArk]

i dont know if thats a poem

but i like it

[Person]

no. it's not a poem.

It's just something I wrote during my 6th period class. After I re-read it, I burst into tears O.o.

Good thing I sit in the back with no one around lol. And thank you... at least I know someone reads my stuff =)

[The_dArkEst_dArk]

i still like it.... LOADS!!

[MrsBennington-Delson]

6th period class? u kidin?

 

awesome!

[Person]

hehehe thank you Jos!

Thank you ms. darkest dark (dunno your name =S)

 

*sigh* something will happen this week. I just know it. Everytime I turn around, my ex is there... and usually, she's staring at me (which is weird because she told me to back of (if y'all remember that eveil e-mail)). The whole thing where she's talking to my sister makes it even more suspicious... Aside from that, the dude that likes her is telling me to talk to her again... I dunno why again. She turned him down and said "it's too late". blah... im like so confused right now. x.x

[MrsBennington-Delson]

maybe she wants you back??

[Peterdea]

hehehe thank you Jos!

Thank you ms. darkest dark (dunno your name =S)

 

*sigh* something will happen this week. I just know it. Everytime I turn around, my ex is there... and usually, she's staring at me (which is weird because she told me to back of (if y'all remember that eveil e-mail)). The whole thing where she's talking to my sister makes it even more suspicious... Aside from that, the dude that likes her is telling me to talk to her again... I dunno why again. She turned him down and said "it's too late". blah... im like so confused right now. x.x

wow dude, thats the sorta shit that when it happens to me, i stick well clear of it.

 

if you want her back, go for it dude!