hey guys, opinions on these lyrics...

[Clogz]

I've been working on some songs for an album, for about four months now. I just wrote this song tonight...tell me what you think of it.

All feedback will be taken into account...because I'm starting to think I could do something with my work...but I don't want to get a big head. Anyway...here is -

 

I want to make this right, baby

 

Tears fall to the floor

Not prepared to take much more

But then I looked into your eyes

And deep down my heart knows

I need more

 

So tell me

Just how do I kill this need

So smack me

and tell me to get a clue

So grab me

and tell me quickly

just how do you kill love?

 

Oh, no

There it goes again

My heart is racing as I gaze

at the woman that I can't have

And burning at the thoughts

Of all the chances I had

And somehow it took all this time

for me to realize

just how much I needed you

I'm hooked on you, girl

 

I can't sleep, my thoughts won't go to sleep

Just thinking of you makes me weak

A feeling too rare to be fleeting

And I feel like misunderstanding

even the slightest intention and gaze

 

So yell it

and tell me I lost my chance

So slap me

and tell me to go home

So grab me by the shoulders

and tell me we have a prayer

In heaven

 

I want to scream your name to the stars

I want to whisper this thought in your ear

I want to tell the world of these feelings

I wish you could come meet me here...

 

Oh, yes

There it goes again

My heart is racing as I gaze

at the woman that I can't have

And burning at the thoughts

Of all the chances I had

And somehow it took all this time

for me to realize

just how much I needed you

I'm hooked on you, girl

 

Hooked. On. You.

 

 

-----

 

what do ya think?

[Rusu_luvs_LP_4ever]

The lyrics are pretty good. Just depends on the music that goes with it to carry it through....but, yeah, I think you got something there.

[shirakawa_otori]

I like them Clogz, you've done a pretty good work! Like Rusu said, it also depends of the music you'll put them into, but they are good none the less