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Posted

Hey everyone time for another journal entry

 

This week has been boring, really nthoing special...

 

Hmm I am going to be teaching this girl how to play guitar...I had a crush on her, then I realised she has a BF that killed that for me. So I will teach her how to play guitar anyway. My grades appear to be declining. It's really hard though, I wnat to do well, it's just so hard for me!

 

I've been practicing a new song "Forget It" by Breaking Benjamin, and intend it to go onto the LPF Sampler, but so far I can't record a good quality of my voice. I sound great off the mic, but when it comes time to record I sound like shit! It really sucks...

 

I've had a bit off musical writers block recently, I can't write music, or lyrics and it just seems bleh when I do...so bad luck with all that... I have been working on my new Zombie Story, but so far, no readers...kind of annoying, but I will continue with writing for the sake of just ending a story. If anyone does want to check it out it's called The End as We Know it in the Writers Corner.

 

I've realised in my new school, I am not as original as I was in Irvington, but I am different for sure, when they talk to me they are like...you are so different, I find it funny though. Sadly with my looks, and natural behavior, the likliness of me turning into what I was in Irvington is slim to none.

 

Well I will stop babbling and work on Chapter 3 of The End as we Knew It...

  • 1 month later...
Posted

It's been awhile since my last Journal Entry...might as well make it a decent one...I will seperate each story into parts, so if you want to read just one part you can.

 

I - Girlfriend Situation

II - Grade Situation

III - My Friend Situation

IV - Do you know my past?

V - Illness and Other Shit

 

 

I - Girlfriend Situation

 

Well it's been awhile since I have moved, away from Christina and all that. And Dealing with my new school. I have had a crush here and there. Arianna whom I thought was possible then just went from possible to way at all and quick. Then there was Kiersten whom I thought might be, since she was like really nice to me, but after awhile it uncovered that she really doesn't want another BF for a long while. Then I was being depressed, and Chrisitina had called me...and we started crushing on each other again. Then after you know a week I "accidently" get back into her emails and read she has been dating someone else, and REFUSES to fess up to it. And I asked her "If I am wrong, tell me right now that I am wrong." And she said yes I was, even though it was definately a guy, and they had been dating. And I really look at what my new school offers...Retards, Sluts, Potheads, Emos, Drinkers, oh did I mention more sluts? I really am at a dead end around here.

 

II - Grade Situation

 

Well my first quarter report card had come in...I pretty much failed every class, only english I got a D-. Basically, my parents had to go into a meeting, and my mom was acting like an idiot, so my teachers lost respect for me and my family. Now they look at me even worse. I have to get my notebook signed with all my HW written down, and my dad has to check it. I have to pass. I HAVE to. I want a future, I need a future. This one is a bit short, I just needed to shoot off about it.

 

III - My Friend Situation

 

Well I have gathered some friends, but there is one in specific I am highly worried about right now. He has a girlfriend right? But they two of them are on an emotion roller coaster, loving and hating each other every other day, I really begin to worry about him..He goes from piss happy to annoyed so quickly, I don't want him to do anything stupid. He also has a highly depressive friend that is effecting a majority of his thoughts...I just don't want him to get hurt.

 

IV Part A - Do You Know My Past?

 

Well, I really thought about it, do you know me all that well? Sure you know I am musician/lyricist...maybe not even that. Well let's start easy hm? Basically, i've had...an odd life. I have never been the most tame of children. I am always talking, drawing, writing, something, it's hard to turn off. So let's just skip that crap, since it bores me to talk about it. When I was about 4 My parents had a little boy named Brian? So naturally I was piss happy. So I loved him, and for his first year I was his best friend. Another year went by, and I was 6 and in skool! lol. When I saw my dad in tears walking down the hill to the school. He told me my little brother was dead...he had strangled himself...I was normally traumatized, I didn't cry though, it stayed very bottled up. Until after 2-3 years my parents decided to try for another child. And that's when the nine months waiting for my little sister Amanda kicked in. 9 Months later I see my dad walking down crying...again...I said to myself...no, not again. And he told me there was a miscarriage. This time I started getting weird, I started bisbehaving, and my grades begun to decline. The school was worried and said I should get a psychotrist. I went to one for about 2 years, and began taking Anti-Deppresants at the age of around 10. And my life has been shit since then, in out of suicidal wishes, cutting (I have cutted I admit) drinking, weed, vandalism. I had dropped. Really nothing more to that one...

 

IV Part B

 

I have never been healthy, I had diabetes for a year, and got out of it when I was 11 years old. I have broken my wrist enough times to say every nook and cranny has been shattered at soem point. And my mind is fucked up. I always just talk, never think, I jump to conclusions, and insult people. I am not normal. I want to be normal, but I just aren't. I'm a fat, obnoxious prick half the time, and I can't help it. I don't know what to do to fix it either...I am just at total loss in my life, and I just want sanctum.

 

Can someone please help me?

Posted
I'm a fat, obnoxious prick half the time, and I can't help it.

 

 

Lol, don't worry about that, I'm exactly the same in that area.

And I just wanted to know, how did you get out of diabetes? My older brother is diabetic and there has been hell in my house ever since he was diagnosed in the Spring...

Besides that... Don't hurt yourself, please, and stop worrying about girls... They're useless right now, lol. I may only be a month or so older than you but I feel oh-so-wise *straightens back and puts on a smug smile*

School.... Seriously, it's more important than you know. I'm not sure if I failed anything, but I know that I'm not doing so well... I've been trying to do my homework every spare second that I can and I do pay attention in class in order to pass my tests (which is not the problem.. damn homework).

But my main point is, Jonathan, that I love you and I care for you, and I'm sure that I'm not the only one. There's nothing wrong with you, and you don't need help.

*hugs*

{Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.}

http://www.sucksbbs.net/data/MetaMirrorCache/2f43bfab2b64268a8552c7de93432ec4.jpg

Write "Love" On Your Arm. MIH Photography. Myspace. Facebook.

Posted

So I went and read my ex's email (Chrissy) and I found out she has a new BF right? sure great I am glad for her. But then I read one email and the one thing that popped out was....

 

and every relationship i've been in hasn't worked b/c they weren't honest.

 

What the hell? I thought I was honest, but I guess I don't mean anything, I am sick of being treated like crap....tell me what you guys think...

  • 1 month later...
  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 months later...
Posted

hey everyone this will be my 3rd time at attempting to revive this hell damned journal.

 

So Basically I found a format that I like...

 

Song Listening To:

 

Newest Learned Song on Guitar:

 

Mood:

 

Game of the Day:

 

Entry:

 

So to start it all off!

 

Song Listening To: "Fack" by Eminem

 

Newest Learned Song on Guitar: "Knights of Cydonia" by Muse (Well, the majority of it)

 

Mood: Bored

 

Game of the Day: Sims 2

 

Entry: So for the past weekend I lost my Xbox 360...which is crap. Which triggered me to go on a boredom rampage and start rummaging all my old stuff. I found Sims 2, and was like "OMG OMG Like OMG!" (lol) and decided to install and start playing...so...I have been so bored...I made 2 families, each with teens, got the teens to date, they fell in love, got married, moved into a home, and have a baby...which, really TAKES FOREVER in sims...

 

I also felt encouraged to take a break from Guitar Hero 3, and Frets on Fire, and play Bacon Hero! (Bacon is my last name) and I picked up my guitar, and started playing around, and made a new riff (link to crap qual of it soon) and learned by Tabs, "Knights of Cydonia" which really isn't much of a challenge, just alot of remembering notes and timing.

 

I guess that's all...

 

Yeah...

 

Yeeeeaaahhhh....

 

 

Bye?

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