Poetry Contest: Final Round

[Shadowed Heart]

Alright...

 

Purple:

Shadowed Heart- |||

Fri- |||

 

Orange:

Jeezy- |||||

LP~Shinoda~FM- |||

 

 

 

So, moving on, Shadowed Heart, Fri, and Jeezy, will post their new poems here. No colors are really necessary this time around...

 

Poems are due July 1.

And I will put the poll up after the poems are all up.

Votes will be due July 8. (Only because I have stuff going on until that point).

 

^.^

Goodluck..

 

-Riss

[Jeezy]

I loved the child in her

so innocent and sweet

The mischief in her eyes

the blush upon her cheek

The tender way she spoke

that showed me that she cared

The touch of her warm hand

that gently touched my hair

The smiles that we shared

that filled my life with glee

For when I was with her

I found the child in me

[Shadowed Heart]

Yeay Jeezy ^.^ I really liked that.

 

I'm trying to finish mine, and I will eventually, but I'm stuck right now. Lol.

[GraDoN]

nice poem jeezy, simple and sweet

[LPShinodaFM]

Nice job Jeezy :] lovely. Good luck to all!

[Shadowed Heart]

Here's mine ^.^

Just When Can I Say?

You know what babe?

We’ve grown apart.

And guess what hun?

It’s gone too far.

 

What happened between us,

I loved it, but what did I do?

I wish that I could go back in time.

And undo all that I’ve done to you.

 

I feel so terrible about what happened there…

I wish that it was different then

I wish that it had never happened…

I with that it had never been.

 

I want to make it up to you.

I want to make it right.

I may be in love with you.

But I won’t admit it, because of this fright.

 

Frightened of losing it all again,

Frightened of getting my heart shattered

I’m afraid of hurting anybody

I’m afraid that I’m becoming a matter…

 

I wish that I could go back and change

But not who I am, or all that has been done

I wish that I could change what I did

But not what I’m doing… I’m having fun.

I love what I have

I love who I’ve got

I love what I’ve had

I hate what I’ve fought.

I’ve fought letting go

I’ve fought getting my goal.

I’ve fought saying no.

But now I we have to grow.

We have to grow away.

I love you babe, but did you know

That you don’t love me back?

I don’t believe you when you say so.

I want you to keep your distance.

And I want you to stay.

Well this poem sucks.. I just want to know…

Just what to say

[Shadowed Heart]

Eh... I have a better poem now.. Oh well...

I don't think Fribby is going to post his poem >.<

Oh well...

He was one more day oO

I'll put up the poll tomorrow afternoon...

(1pm Mnt. Time US& Canada)

[Shadowed Heart]

Okay.. I added the poll..

[Jeezy]

it's a tie....lol

[Joci]

i voted for riss

voot!

[Tomer]

I voted for Jeezy and with that you're leading :-)

[LPShinodaFM]

I like Jeezy's better :]

[Holy War]

Don't know the stipulations of the contest so I'm going purely off what I see written.

 

Jeezy: A good "to the point" piece, it has it's mix of innocent wordplay but a really good play of imagery. At times I felt that maybe you went too innocent with the wordplay and that maybe the piece could have 'matured' slightly more towards the end, but an otherwise well written piece.

 

Shadowed Heart: Your piece seems to me to just repeat the same thought in different words, though this can work at times given the length of your writing I can't say it would work well. There is also a few clerical grammar mistakes that draw from the impact or the (again) 'maturity' of the work. What might of worked better here is branching out the thoughts and explaining more in detail the reasoning. Again given the length and repetition of thoughts this wasn't a very well written piece either because you were rushed or just didn't think the piece out.

 

I have to vote for Jeezy on this one.

[Shadowed Heart]

okie. well. Jeezy won

 

yeayy ^.^

 

[MrsBennington-Delson]

congrats jeezy!

 

both of you were good :thumbsup:

[Friðbjörn]

congratulations

good job you guys

[Jeezy]

cool...

 

thanks to all the voters and all the people who took part in it

 

I'm happy now

[diana]

Congratz, Jeez! I'm happy for you...^^

[GraDoN]

hey nice going to all who took time to write a poem

and congratz jeezy yo deserve it