{Wood'z Journal Act 2}

[woodyloveslinkin]

It's more frustrating than anything. They say one thing on the application and say another in the office.

 

Okay since I'm so sick of being/feeling sick so I've pledged to myself I'm going to eat properly. Went to Franklins after the inspection (I'll tell later) and bought me vegies, chicken pies, yum, salad stuff and etc etc, there was none of that cheap shit in there for once.

 

Today I woke up feeling like crap, sore tummy, feeling like I didn't want to eat anything, the reason why I thought it was a tummy bug or something is that I had other symptoms that kinda told me that it was along the lines of it. But I may know what's causing the pain. Went to the docs in Bathurst and she said that it may be just my ovaluation (why am i sharing this on LPF?) and mum said so as well, that it could be the cause of the pain but still doesn't explain the other symptoms. Well I had a sleep, the second or so sleep I've had today, I feel better, but still have that dull ache. Eating my chicken pie with vegies right now, so proud of myself for actually being bothered to cook this shit.

 

The inspection was weird. We had another person come, other than the agent, and she was like an over-estactic asian woman that kept on smiling and laughing at the smallest things. We were both like wtf? $150 pw two bedroom, so I have to put that application in by monday for the Professionals. I already have all the references and shit ready, so I don't know he was panicky about it when we left. Damn reminds me, I didn't get to tell him to say goodbye/hi to Margy (his mum, Margaret) when he was going back to drop off the car, so he could get back to Narrandera at his dad's place.

 

Oh shit, it's my dad's bday today that I think of it and I don't have any credit to txt/call him to wish him happy bday. Fark.

 

Looking to see what my brother got for his uni courses/exams, he goes to UTS (University of Technology, Sydney and he knows some of my Yr 11 friends that go there, fuck that's a small world ). He's too smart for his own good. He's always been the science nerd of our family, would explain why he's doing a major in Med Science and a minor in Pharmacuticals. Lol. My sister was the only child to do social welfare shit, and I'm the only child that's gone to uni outside of sydney.

 

And oh! I talked to Buskin, aka Michael who we went together at high school from year 7 -10 together last night! First time in about 3 years!

 

Me - *sees Cradle of Filth on his music interests on Facebook*

"You listen to Cradle of Filth? Bahahaha!"

Buskin - "Yep, remember the good old days Hitlers Love Child"

 

HLC was a name given to me when I was younger...I don't know if I should feel compliments, still.

 

This is what Mel said to me on facebook -

 

sarah thats still good you passed VIS 101, its meant to be the hardest subject we did last semester lol so many people failed it the year before so its awesome you did well naturally. yay we can do VPA 101 next year together, i'll complain if i dont get julie as a teacher. it should be easy the 2nd time around as we know what is required, and can hand some of the same stuff back in

 

dont worry too much about the other subjects, im sure heaps of people failed.. it was pretty hard and most of the teachers were assholes who made people cry. i only barely passed.. sigh

 

anyways i'll see you in about a week, have fun moving out!

take care,

Mel ox

 

She looks like she's 16 but she's 20 this year XD

[woodyloveslinkin]

Okay I'm going to have a bitch on about how I still hate my landlady.

 

Something about me moving in with Daniel blah blah blah blah tuned out blah blah blah blah blah....

"stop trying to mother me..."

"the shit's going to hit the roof, you know?"

"I do," (*thinks* I dont mind being mothered by certain friends but not from you *thinks*)

 

I hate her! I hate her! I hate her! My own mother even calls her behind my back and asks how's things! Grrr! Talk about not being trusted! I'm not going to listen to my sister and I am not going to put up with shit that I hate! I don't like it I don't do it! (Uni is an exception and a couple of other things like chores and shit like that...)

 

So I told my mum today about Dan and I.

 

Mum pls dont freak and I know this isn't the best way to tell you but I need to get it off my chest. But pls don't be angry when you read this but Dan and I are looking for a place together...as we are only friends still.... I don't like it here, still..... We're moving in together to a to-be-confirmed two bedroom apartment. Have told Alice. Date not confirmed. Will ring you tomorrow to explain deeper, but I'm giving you a cooling off period I know its not best move but I want to do it. Please don't tell anyone. But will be down in sydney probs end of next week.

 

Well she's cut down my rent to $50 now that I think of it... instead of $200 per fortnight Cos I'm having my own dinners by myself now.

 

She's trying to mother me and I hate it! I don't mind it when Rav/Tia/Tabitha mothers me (despite the fact that Tabitha's my age) cos they are both older than me and know better! But she's my landlady not my mother! I hate her!

 

GRR!!!!

 

Dan's over so soon he's gone to Maccas >.< He was supposed to be here at 4! Grrr!

[Ravynlee]

She's trying to mother me and I hate it! I don't mind it when Rav/Tia/Tabitha mothers me (despite the fact that Tabitha's my age) cos they are both older than me and know better! But she's my landlady not my mother! I hate her!

 

It's funny, almost everyone at some point are peddling their own advice and good intentions, it's up to you to stand firm by your own convictions. The problem with saying that is that yes by general standards you are young (compared to me) and you still have a lot of growing up in the bigger picture of the world yet to do. Yes you can't do that until you're out there living it, so yes, it's a big step, and yes you're going to make mistakes, and yes people who have all been there and done that will try and tell you how to do it thinking thay're saving you when you really won't learn unless you do it and screw up and learn from your own mistakes.

 

NOW having said all that, there are a few exceptions to the rule. Always are. As friends we feel this unspoken sense of duty to shield you regardless what it is you want. Annoying yes, but again, done with the best of intentions. This thing about Daniel, while I've heard all the arguments, and while you've heard mine, doesn't change my opinion, and I know it's something you have to do to learn from. It's not easy, and again I realise having everyone come at you telling you how bad he is etc only makes you more determined to make up your own mind and live your life for you. So be it. But when you do this understand the choices we make define who we are and what we will become in the future.

 

Sure, you're saving money now, that's great, but what if the cost is say 2 years down the track you fight, you break up, and suddenly you realise you've been so hurt you can't appreciate the old things you once used to. Yes it's a matter of growing up, you change, your tastes change, your choice in friends change, etc, but rememember everytime you interract with anyone you give them part of yourself and you take away part of them too. If you surround yourself with negativity to save yourself a few dollars, then don't be surprised you don't save much of either in the long run

 

As for your mum, seriously, I get where she's coming from. I don't necesarily 'side' with her or her tactics, but she's a mum and mum's get insanely protective to the point sometimes reason gets overshadowed. Really, while I think she might be going around thinsg the wrong way, she may feel after all this time she's given up, that you're making choices she can see will end badly, and she doesn't want to keep going around in circles with you.

 

You forget, just because we are older, your mother and landlady (I assume) and myself, plus your siblings etc, we act like we know it all. The point is Sarah we don't know it all, but we do know a lot more than you give us credit. It's not a badge of honour. We used to be your age once too (oh memories), and people unfortunately are all alike in many respects. We've dealt with people that we wished we hadn't and so when we see someone we care about making our mistakes it gets personal for us. You look at your mum and me like the enemy. Like know-it-alls. We aren't. But we've got several more years life experience on you, and even young people with hard lives still don't know it all because there's things that come with age you don't get until you're in the moment.

 

Again, I don't mean to sound in any way condecending, but you have to realise this thing with Daniel is about as much a sore point to me as it sounds to be your mother. We've discussed why. And no amount of saying 'I can make my own decisions, you just have to get over it' is going to change that. Bottom line, I as your friend won't 'get over it.' You deserve better than you get and you chose that life and those consequences for yourself. It's mentally and emotionally exhausting watching someone you care about as a friend (or family member) continually screwing up and having to be there to pick up the pieces. Especially when they keep asking for advice and never apear to take any of it. Try to see things from everyone's perspective where you can, not just stubbornly your own.

You don't have to and never should make your opinions based on what others think, but if the external turmoil of having everyone around you that you care about making your life harder than you feel it needs to be, then maybe that should give you some indication that we're not just being nosey and trying to tell you what to do, but that there might be something true to what we're saying. You may argue "The whole world can't be wrong right? You don't know Daniel because...(insert whatever reason or great memory or justification here)" Yeah well, the world is full of Daniels, deary. You'll have to accept that. Leopards don't change their spots, promises aside or not. But you know all this. We've talked abou this. Being with him as a girlfriend or just a housemate still keeps that tension in your life. That's fine in social circles but on a day-to-day basis... well... Now we are going around in circles yet again, so I'll stop about that. Again. Haha. Can't help myself can I?

 

Anyway, after all that, I don't know what else can be said. It's hard to appreciate someone Ive never met and only heard disparaging things about everytime you get frustrated with him. Seeing as how all our discussions over him lately are how mean or apathetic he is to you, then when I tell you what I think you defend him, maybe talking about him isn't such a smart idea. Vent by all means, but you know what I am trying to say. Hopefully.

 

After all these years of chatting online and the loooong phone convos and texting and so on I think we're pretty good as friends. That's why I say what I say. Not to preach but to show you, just because it seems like the world is against you sometimes, doesn't mean it really is.

 

So with that rant over, let me just congratulate you on your recent positive push to eat better etc. It's time you start influencing me in that score, I'm a lazy ass! Hope that works well for ya, your health has been suffering lately. Stress as well. Maybe this will help you even in a physical sense. Smart move. And congrats on rent reduction. Wish I could catch a break there *pouts*

 

Take care *hugs* Good luck with it all in general. You deserve to be happy. Help yourself, 'eh? :friends:

 

Maybe catch up later usual place, usual time. Awesomestness.

 

Oh and should have said sth like RANT ALERT AHEAD at the top of the post but meh, you know what I'm like by now. I only really rant when I'm passionate about something. So I may not be running off at the mouth so much over dear Rob these days, I still rant when I have to

[woodyloveslinkin]

I know where you coming and yes, I am very young, compared to Tia (her being 23 this year) and you, but probs not as much as Tabitha, her being 19 this year, but I don't like living here. I am young and I am willing to make the mistake. I know in the end I'll probs turn around and think "why the fuck did I move in with that prick?" yes I fully acknowledge that. We're not the best couple and I've never denied that fact. BUT it comes down to what I can tolerate and what I can't. Right now, I can't tolerate my landlady being a mother to me. Fine, I can stand any of my friends trying to look out for me, I listen to them I decide considering what they are saying might be true in the long run but I also consider the type of position I am in. I can't stand living here. I hate everything about this place and (this was an issue that Tia raised with me her not being Dan's number #1 fan as well and they know each other as well through uni) sometime down the line I'm going to have to do this moving in and moving out process by myself. I know it may sound like I've ran into a stupid wall but I know what I'm doing and I wouldn't be persisting it if I didn't really want it. It's not the Dan aspect that I really want, it's the moving out and getting outta this place. I mean, if Elise or Sammi were free to move in with, I would! Trust me on that note.

 

I still think my mum is going to extremes about "double-checking" on me which really pisses me off. Just shows how much she doesn't trust me. If he had it his way, she wouldn't have beent told until we had actually moved in, but, yet again, it's my choices that comes into play, I choose not to do wrong to my mother and I did tell her and I'm going to keep her informed just as long as she doesn't open her big mouth to my sister, that I'll be annoyed about cos then all the family knows instantly.

 

And always loving the ultimate rant as always =)

 

I'm just having one of those days that make me go ergh! x10

 

I'll be on AIM on about nineish tonight, I'm just on and off away from the computer right now. Trying to do some paperwork/going to do some running about downstairs/listening to xtina =) *hugs back*

[Jeezy]

9:00 pm..how many hours are that from now on?

[woodyloveslinkin]

I dunno *shrugs*

 

I am so happy!!

 

Dan and I went to a place today which belongs to his uncle but he's moving out with his partner. But there's another chick still there so all we have to do is say to them yes or no and we pratically get the place without doing all the real estate bullshit!! So it's three people living in that house ^^ And it's only like $80 per person.

 

And we got our PRD Nationwide in today and they accepted my first references!! Really strange, cos the chick the other day was like "no we dont accept friends as references" but then the chick today was like "no your references are fine". Woo!!!!

[woodyloveslinkin]

Well here's my new piercing ... the red one was the first one I got (its dangly one with a moon hanging down from it) and the newest one is a bioflex crystal bar cos they didnt do stainless steel piercings and a ring wasn't recommended cos the guy said that my body will devour it or something... it's still red and it still hurts ....

 

http://www.offtopic.forum/data/MetaMirrorCache/cd988b61af84bbcd6dfe29eb92192d12.jpg

[FireHawk]

kewl shizit Sarizzle

[Ravynlee]

lol

 

Looks sweet. Wish I could, my belly WOULD devour it *shudders* besides, had to take my piercings out for work, being over heated surfaces, etc... *sob* RIP piercings...

Damn you woman. You make me jealous. But these days I'm more inclined to get ink, at least that's permanent. And lets face it, most percings someone's got but tats you can stylise. Still... doesn't change the fact am jealous and your new one looks freakin sweet.

Cost much?

[woodyloveslinkin]

$75 =S

 

I have to wait a month or two to start on my belly star that's going to be a series of piercings around my navel. I was actually considering getting some ink done of the celtic version of "II" (which is the zodiac sign of Gemini) then I realised where would I hide it so my mother doesn't see it?

 

Last year - 3 piercings

 

This year so far - 1 piercing

 

Aim - at least 4 more - 2 of them being either side of my belly button, considering right eye brow and lip (then have to consider having to look for a defence weapon when my mother sees it) done either than that got my inner ears done (dont know what its called but its not the ear its part of the far face just before it hits the ear).

 

Lol Sarizzle JT?

[FireHawk]

u know Sarizzle don't worry about what your mum thinks your an adult stand up and keep the pimp hand strong...or whore hand in your case LOL

[woodyloveslinkin]

You know what? That sounded like what one of my friends told me today.

Elise - Wtf is your mum's problem, you're nearly 20 years old? How is she going to treat you when you have 30 and kids.

 

 

That's really really odd JT.

[FireHawk]

Your friend is correct...

[Ravynlee]

Some people unfortunately don't know the meaning of letting go.

My best friend Chris is nearly in her 50s, she has 3 kids of her own, 4 grandkids, and her mother is still telling her what to do. I kid you not. Chris allows it, to her she thinks someone has to, I mean 'obey' the parent. Its an emotional abuse issue and the mother works it to perfection. Says things like 'What if I die tomorrow? You'll be sorry then!'

 

While my response (generally a cynical smile and the internal 'I may be sorry but you'll still be dead') is typical, Chrissy just takes it. She really really can't sever the ties because to her she means loving her mother means she has to do what she's told. She's Aboriginal and they have a cultural respect for their elders. Me, I'm white. I call it abuse, don't care how old, sweet or senile you are. Chris and I argue about it a lot but it's her decision not to stand up for herself. She says 'Oh well, it's my problem and I'll deal with it.'

 

It WILL be your problem if you dont do something about it now and BE CONSISTENT!

 

(Which means basically, don't run back to mummy everytime something goes wrong. Stand on your own two feet, whether you're broke, starving, or losing the plot. It's the only way you'll mature enough to walk through life when one day there's no one around to support you )

[woodyloveslinkin]

I hate it when you're right, more so about the huge argument mum and I had on the phone today than her hate of my piercing obsession I've got.

 

"It's only a phase no need to start doing shit to your body. Your sister been there and done that and she's still get those awful things on her back."

"Ma, they're piercings not ink, and I've been wanting piercings for ages now,"

"Whatever, still self-mutatliation,"

"No, I didn't do it. Other people put the needles through me, and it's my choice,"

"Whatever,"

"Damn straight whatever,"

 

LOL! Reminds me. I haven't told Mum about my new piercing.

[Ravynlee]

oh hey there sexy

 

Oh god, please don't encourage her

[woodyloveslinkin]

She does enough encouraging me..I can never have too much encouragment.......

 

I'm coming down to see Sydney next week Ash, meet up.................................if I have the cash to travel into the CBD from the Hills.

 

I owe you nothing.

[Ravynlee]

i have to encourage her! she owes me something for this

 

I shudder to think what that is. We have a place for that. It's called The Red Room. Hunt for it, you'll find it. Better yet, ask Sarah, she knows all about what goes on in that place :-P

[woodyloveslinkin]

Red Room = Redlight District of LPF = LPF Games = awesome shit goes down on there

[woodyloveslinkin]

I'll bump the thread up for you so you don't have to go into the list of games...it's like bos pratically both forum structure wise and all, but there's less spam around and we keep the dirty stuff, well, try to, to the red room.

[woodyloveslinkin]

Okay well what did I do rather than do jackshit? let me think ....

 

Well I ran into Kate down at Maccas tonight that was a pleasant surprise. We had a chat and that, caught up for about 15 minutes. She's also another uni student that is not looking forward to going back to uni, but sometime we'll both have to face the music. Dammit.

 

We (Dan and I) went to the new place we are hoping to get on Fox St, which pratically opposite Maccas, to see Katie our hopefully new housemate. She has a fat black cat called Beanie and reminded me of Miffy because she was telling me about how he chucks the skitz at anything and anyone. Lol. That's Miffy for you, but she tends to be a pecky eater while Beanie just eats anything. Explains why he's so damn fat lol. We talked the usual stuff over with Katie, the house was a mess and all, but I didn't mind. His Uncle/Lily (I think her name is, or am I getting that mixed up with Dominique's nickname?) wasn't there which was strange because when we ran into him the other day at the shopping centre he said that he wanted to tell us some things, I don't know, must've not been that important *shrugs*

 

Gotta write a summary for Tourniquet and this is what I've written so far -

 

The Third World War was brutal.

Millions of American men lost their lives fighting in Asia and in Europe.

But the superpower that rose after the Third World War has now done more damage to each individual than anyone could picture Utopia to be framed as.

Welcome to the future.

Los Angeles is now the City of Fallen Angels instead of the City of Angels.

Halos choke the city instead of glamourising the horizons.

Darkness is the new light.

Greenhouse gases have been replaced with neon billboards while freedom and individualism have been replaced with suppression and conformity.

A global corporation now controls minds with propaganda and drugs, doused with deceit and hypocrisy.

Those born before the Japanese blast were classified and filed as being from the Old World.

Those born after the Japanese blast were classified and programmed as being from the New World, with each given a pendant to replace their fingerprints.

 

There's going to be a lot of adding/deleting words in that summary because it took me about half an hour to even think of those couple of lines, which is unlike me, as people have always told me I've had a flair for words and all. Meh *shrugs* I just hope it's good in the long run for the publishers to nod thier heads and smile at the book.

 

 

 

edit. I just found this old pic of me and Tabz I look spastic in it though

 

http://www.offtopic.forum/data/MetaMirrorCache/a066438e4d582ecd339b0188f9dc74ef.jpg

[Ravynlee]

You've got a trent reznor vibe happening here. Don't ask me to explain it, just the first thing I thought when i saw it. That and 'tongue.' Wow, good times, 'eh? XD

[FireHawk]

So you still working on getting Torniquet published

 

And yeah I know I fucked the spelling of it to hell lol

[woodyloveslinkin]

Yes. I am almost done, I've got five or chapters to go now until the complete destruction of Spyral's regime is completed, I'm just working on the final battle scene. Sadly there are more deaths on the Old World team It's just a matter of getting motivated at times which seems to be an issue.

 

It's okay, it's not an English word, it's actually French. Tourniquet, you just missed out the u. Think of Marilyn Manson's/Evanescence's song Tourniquet (I didn't base it on those songs, I only realised that it was an Evanescence song when I looked on my Evanescene playlist and then Rav told me about Manson's version). The Aussie pronounciation is Torn-i-kay, while the American pronounciation is Torn-i-ket.

[woodyloveslinkin]

Wow, that's a pity ain't it Ash? Remember, I don't mean to sound harsh but I am taken, by not the best guy in the world, but like I've told you various times, we are working on it and I can only try. And I don't believe in cheating either. I prefer harmless flirting ... thus I am LPF's whorebag, with Mike and Rob