{Wood'z Journal Act 2}

[woodyloveslinkin]

^ I look so fucking stoned in those pics.

 

Well, I don't know what to say for once. I'm still so fucking sick (here we go I always manage to find something to say!) coughing up crap and just ergh, I feel so blrgh. Listening the best band in the world The Smashing Pumpkins!!! Gotta clean up my room, it's a mess. Gotta print some shit off (didn't do it yesterday...my bad) and I gotta see Daniel...every time he's around me now for some odd reason he starts singing "In The End". He justifies it by saying it's a got a DBZ filmclip to it (it does! I've seen it myself!) and I keep on telling him to sing One Step Closer but he only sings one line and then goes back to singing ITE. Hmmm...it's Sam's B'day party tonight! So I probs won't be on until late or I can't sleep.

 

This place is so dead without Firehawk

 

On a lighter note -

 

8,000th post :party:

[woodyloveslinkin]

As some might've read, Daniel attacked me in the Vic Hotel last night. This is how it all started, I'm shaken up about it still.

 

We had an argument this afternoon about food. He wanted to go to McDonalds and have McDonalds there and come back to his place, and I said

"Why can't you go to Maccas and bring it back to eat here?" He cracked the shits about it. So then he told me that he was going out with Al to drink. I said to him that if he gets drunk and I somehow find out about it, he owes me the money he spent on drinks.

So I went to Sam's 19th at Italian resturant downtown. Had a grand old time (uploading the pics as I speak) had two strawberry magaritas, yummy as! And then everyone went to the Vic. We then got told to come back to Coles for the cake that Sam and Liz had just gotten so we went back to the mall to sing happy bday to her. And then everyone headed off back to the Vic while Brie and that went to the Duke. I happen to ran into Daniel piss drunk and so I said -

"Where's my cash? You've broken the deal."

So he was like no no no, and then I ordered a Goon Sunrise and poured the whole thing into his beer. He was pissed. And then I told him -

"You've had enough, let's go home. You're drunk."

"Get fucked."

So I grabbed his hands and tried to pull him towards the door but he wouldn't budge. So he got up from his bar stool and then I still hadn't let go. I kept on telling him that he was drunk. But he kept denying it even though he had openly admitted it that he was drunk minutes before. So he was like -

"Let go of me,"

"Only if you come home and sober up"

"Fuck off bitch"

He started pushing and shoving me at first, freeing my hand of course, but Al soon restrained him. Al went away to the bathroom. So he grabbed my hand and we started to exchange idle threats about hocking my appliances that I had at his place etc etc etc. So he started to bend my fingers backwards.

"Are you gonna let go?"

"You're drunk, I'm trying to do you a favour!"

So he continued bending my fingers backwards. By this time I was in severe pain and I felt like any moment my bones would snap. It was that forceful that not even my piercings had experienced such pain (they still really hurt now).

"Are you gonna let go?"

"Daniel, stop it you're hurting me," - self-defence motive, I slapped him across the face with my spare hand, tried pinching him, tried to get away from his grip, but he was too strong.

"Are you gonna let go?"

"Yeah,"

"Are you gonna let go?"

"I just said fucking yes! Let go of me now!"

He let go and he raced off to the bathroom, leaving me wtf to do. So I went upstairs with the rest of my friends and told Phil (ran into Hamish btw, uber hot guy) and he told me what to do - go tell the bouncers. So I did and they removed him from the Vic Hotel. I ran into Heather and by the look in my eye, god that woman knows me well!

"Let me guess, Daniel's done shit again?" Heather asked me looking concerned as she knew what had happened before. I told her and so on I said Happy Bday to her (it's hers and sam's today!). So I then tried to make myself happier by dancing didn't work, so I told Liam and Liam escorted me down to the police station cos he had convinced me to record the event just in case anything else happened. Seriously taking that man to court and placing a restraining order on him. He had that look in his eye, the same one that he had when he slammed down his fist on the table the other time, he looked like he was going to seriously do some damage to me.

 

AND THIS WAS IN FRONT OF EVERYONE WHO WAS BLIND DRUNK ... but I was quite the sober person for once.

[woodyloveslinkin]

http://photos-d.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v334/174/15/906285354/n906285354_4025899_559.jpg

Brie looks drunk I don't know why :S

http://photos-e.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v334/174/15/906285354/n906285354_4025900_1365.jpg

Birthday girl!! Sammi!!

http://photos-f.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v334/174/15/906285354/n906285354_4025925_134.jpg

God damn why did Liz have to start laughing?

http://photos-h.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v334/174/15/906285354/n906285354_4025991_1960.jpg

Another photo to suggest how tall I am and how Brie must look like a drug addict.http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v334/174/15/906285354/n906285354_4025992_2693.jpg

Margo looks decent and Aaron (uber hot guy that I like) seems a bit out of it.

 

http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v334/174/15/906285354/n906285354_4026000_8734.jpg

Margo looking nice.

 

http://photos-c.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v334/174/15/906285354/n906285354_4026002_7895.jpg

We somewhat love this photo despite the fact it was taken upside down. My shirt/necklace and Brie's head.

http://photos-d.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v334/174/15/906285354/n906285354_4026003_8838.jpg

God damn Liz, take a spastic one of me (another) Kate and that other guy I don't know.

[Ravynlee]

Just one thing to say to that - how many more times are you gonna put up with it? Aren't you getting tired of his shit yet?

[woodyloveslinkin]

I'm not. I wrote him a letter and that letter contained some meaningful words (as I'm still in the state of shock about it and didn't know how to put everything reasonably). I'm going to delete him out of my life after last night's incident even if he somehow begs for me to stay in his life as anything. I'm not going to be treated the way he treated me last night. For a good couple of hours, I thought he was going to come into my room/the house and roll my place. I'm just so sleep deprived right now.

[Ravynlee]

This is exactly what I was referring to on the phone all those times you would ring in tears, actually, remember a week or two ago, this was what I was predicting. There's no joy in being proven right at all, and thank god nothing worse came of it, but for the love of fucking god would you just listen to the rest of us for ONCE and leave this (I can't even say what I really want) alone once and for all?! Jesus I'm getting mad just writing this. I care for you Sarah, you're a good friend, but there is only so much you can expect a friend to support you before the monotany and insult of being perpetually ignored becomes too much.

For god's sake if you need the security go back home for a while just to get him out of your life completely. You need to cut him off not just intend it. He wormed his way back time and time again and you keep allowing it. Do you want him to kill you before you get the message?

[woodyloveslinkin]

I got the message loud and clear last night from him. I'm just so shocked that trying to do the right thing by him I ended up getting the bitter end of the stick. I know I haven't really listened to you guys, like I said in the letter -

"I don't want to go back to the manipulating, mind-controlling games..." and "I'm not going to go back and put myself in a situation where I'm the one that is going to be set alight (metaphorically speaking)" "It's unexcusable for what you did and yet you seem have shown no remorse as you walked past me as you were being kicked out". (I wanted to see his Walk of Shame that's why I waited for him to go..I was next to a bouncer anyway, so I felt safe.)

I didn't even know he was at the Vic until I ran into him with my friends. I don't know right now, I'm still emotional and peeved off that I have to see him today to give him the letter and get my shit from his place or else I know I'm never going to do it. Gonna call Imogen for her to come along.

[woodyloveslinkin]

I have a feeling that Daniel's already out to achieve my goal, have an AVO on another. So how did it start?

 

Well I went over after talking to my brother about the situation, got Maccas and then knocked a couple of times at the door. No answer, so place 3 page letter addressed to Daniel down under door and then he reappears behind the gate. He then told me that he would get my stuff and then the reason why he was behind the gate was because he didn't want us to come in contact with one another. So I sat on the porch and then Kate's bf came out, felt sorry for me for some reason and let me in. So I walked into his room there he was lying on the floor doing nothing, so I went to my corner of the room, dropping the letter down on the ground and telling him "anytime" for him to read it. So he read it and he seemed unimpressed by what was said.

 

Now comes the juicy part.

 

I basically kept asking him questions because I said I would rather a happily deletion of his character than a bad deletion where questions remained unanswered and that I would only be reappearing back in his life for the answers to these questions. So I gave him the questions and basically, he blamed all last night on me, saying that I was "assaulting" him by tugging at his shirt and pulling at him. And that almost breaking my fingers was an act of defence. And that he removed himself from the Vic and he wasn't kicked out.

 

I asked where my money was, where my stuff was and where my food was, and he said that I am not going to get any of the above back for going to the cops last night. So I lost control, stood up quickly from my corner and slapped in him across the face. He then stormed out of the house and called the cops. I went back to my corner thought about my actions, decided they were a bit out of control and I needed to regain self control again, thus, I needed to go for a walk. So I got back up, took his phone and stormed out. So I called up Imogen asked her what she was up to and nothing much. Then went to the park and called Liam and told him basically I'm losing control of myself. He said he couldn't do anything because he was about to start work but he said txt him to update him.

 

One major thing he pointed out was -

"The cops ain't going to do shit. They don't care about break ups. They rather care about black kids bashing people up on the side of the road. If he's gone to get an AVO against you, that's a good six months in the court, he's dragging it on and it's just all words."

 

Agreed. But the funny thing is, he was taunting me to get an AVO put on him, not the other way around. Jesus, I wasn't even planning to talk to him. He wouldn't let ME get MY stuff and he didn't anyway in the long run! He just loves provoking me that asshole. He knows how to piss me off and in someone with a mind like mine, when I'm pissed off I can lose self-control. I've shown in my history and really, the uni councillor is doing jackshit about helping me. Makes me wanna grab a knife and something, and then we'll see if Daniel is human, if he is, he'll pour out red blood. If he isn't pouring out red blood, there's something fucking wrong with him.

 

Walking home, pouring down rain. It felt good for it to rain on me. Then Imogen saw me and gave me a lift home. Thank God, no cops. BUT one thing I have to work on, NO YELLING AT THE COPS !!! Fuck, they piss me off. It's in the family. They piss my brother off easily, and they somehow piss me off easily.

 

And all the people who don't know what an AVO is go to this website >> http://www.lawlink.nsw.gov.au/lawlink/local_courts/ll_localcourts.nsf/pages/lc_avo1

 

I thank modern technology nowadays that I ain't pregnant. Or some shit would've been stirred even more. Especially when he's made it clear to me several times that if I were, he ain't sticking around. Fuck him seriously.

 

FILE DELETED !

[woodyloveslinkin]

MORE PHOTOS I'VE FOUND ON FACEBOOK !!

 

http://photos-g.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-snc1/v318/53/63/713253139/n713253139_1301390_3201.jpg

By the end of the night, we swore Brie was smashed. Hehe.

http://photos-f.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-snc1/v318/53/63/713253139/n713253139_1301397_5745.jpg

http://photos-e.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-snc1/v318/53/63/713253139/n713253139_1301404_8260.jpg

Laura was looking at the wrong camera, Brie still doesn't look normal. I'm tawl.

 

http://photos-f.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-snc1/v318/53/63/713253139/n713253139_1301405_8614.jpg

Some randoms.

http://photos-g.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-snc1/v318/53/63/713253139/n713253139_1301406_8968.jpg

I look evil and Liz looks prettiful

http://photos-c.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-snc1/v318/53/63/713253139/n713253139_1301410_801.jpg

Margo <3s the finger. Aaron, I and Phil are being camera whores.

[FireHawk]

Sarah here is your letter thingy I said I would write. I would have done it earlier but I have been very sick recently. It sucks that in the 3-4 years we have been here we never really talked until what the last 3 or 4. It was fun though and I am glad you let me in your LPF family. I would write more, but I am not doing good right now. Peace.

 

Justin

JT

FireHawk

Hawk

[woodyloveslinkin]

awwwww :'(

[woodyloveslinkin]

Well I'm overally unimpressed. I can't/don't want to talk to him because I feel like I'll lose self control and probs end up in jail or some shit. I don't want to get Kate involved cos let's just say, she's isn't like normal humans. I don't know what happens at times. It's like something in my head that tells me that its ok to physically attack specifically him. I guess he's done a lot of things to push me over the edge at times, so this was kinda expected. I've still got his phone and no one has called and I haven't touched it, I'm just waiting how long it takes him to realise that his phone is missing and I doubt he could pin me to anything. I mean, how can he prove that I slapped him across the face if he were to charge me with assault? No one else was there to start with. It's my word against his. Plain and simple.

 

Dammit, I'm just not happy unless I see him suffer more and more. I was tempted to take his philosophy notes and just anything I could fit into my pockets or bag. I want to see him suffer - just like how he made me suffer through all the manipulation and mind controlling games. Ergh!

[woodyloveslinkin]

Okay I've been told I basically cannot go back to photography....both Dark Room and Adv. Digital Imaging, because I kinda didnt know that since I failed last term's photography course, it was a prerequisite....so I'm putting an end to my university misery, well the school admin is, I'm going to go back to either Bathurst to stay with Dad or go to Sydney and stay with Mum. Taking a year off, and going to ask for leave. Go out and work. Like, taking a year off had been in the back of my mind for a while but I just wasn't sure. I think I'm sure...I think I think I think!!

 

I'm an emotional wreck today.

[Ravynlee]

Sounds like time off is the smartest move you've made in ages good luck.

[woodyloveslinkin]

Thanks, I'll need it to tell my mother....I might write some LPfs to calm me down...

[Ravynlee]

Actually I think she'll adjust better knowing you'll be away from D after the stress of the last few weeks, she might be annoyed and frustrated for all the backwards and forwards and indecisiveness you've had this year over study, but as a parent I reckon deep down she'll actually be all for this. Just don't put it off. Not only will you cause more trouble for yourself BUT if you're quick you can still wrangle the sympathy vote

[woodyloveslinkin]

It's not the sympathy vote I'm after, I'm after the understanding vote, in which I try to get every time I tell her what's been happening up here.

[Ravynlee]

She refuses to listen?

[woodyloveslinkin]

She listens but listening and understanding to me, are two different things. I feel like she doesn't understand how I feel about the uni situation because the last time I brought it up she was like "You're fucking nuts to leave.."

[Ravynlee]

She listens but listening and understanding to me, are two different things. I feel like she doesn't understand how I feel about the uni situation because the last time I brought it up she was like "You're fucking nuts to leave.."

If you're looking for understanding you may be looking for sth that aint there and driving yourself crazy in the process. I still dont understand you and D and that's not new news to you, but just because I don't understand doesn't mean I don't care. It frustrates me, it pisses me off, I feel sorry for you, but really in the long run, I just have to accept it. I think your mum will be the same. And she won't understand the way you want her to anyway, she didn't go through what you did with study or D. Cut the woman some slack too. Mother's have a habit of masking fear with anger. She may not 'get it' and never will, but you shouldn't try and force her to either if she doesn't, accept it and move on. When she sees you adapt in your life outside of study she'll get over it. Bottom line she'd want to see you happy - right now her idea of what would make you happy and your idea of it would not be the same thing... be patient.

[woodyloveslinkin]

I'll try that's all I can really do.

I know what boat you're on with me and D. I'm sorta on it as well, well now anywho. Urgh, I think why I get the way I do at times is because I tried so hard to work and improve our relationship but at the same time I wasn't ready to admit shit all and did not a thing about it. I don't know right now, about D, and I don't want to. I haven't contacted him at all today was tempted to walk over to his place but was afraid that he would call the cops over a simple little matter, I hate him when he drags the cops into it, I really do. I still haven't gotten my stuff back at all, and I want it back, along with the money he owes me...

Ma knows what went down, but still, I think she doesn't get it sometimes, especially when we break into an argument and I walk away/hang up.

[woodyloveslinkin]

Proof my mum is too cool for school > http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1456120219

She joined facebook.

 

Mum -"Hey sweetie venturing into the land of facebook"

Me -"Oh shit! I mean hi ma!"

Mum - "Okay cheeky, what are you doing up at 2 am? Go to bed."

Me - "I awake when you go to bed and when you're awake I got to bed."

[MrsBennington-Delson]

Proof my mum is too cool for school > http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1456120219

She joined facebook.

 

Mum -"Hey sweetie venturing into the land of facebook"

Me -"Oh shit! I mean hi ma!"

Mum - "Okay cheeky, what are you doing up at 2 am? Go to bed."

Me - "I awake when you go to bed and when you're awake I got to bed."

LOL thats funneh x)

[Ravynlee]

Amusing to see the older generations embrace new technology - considering my mother doesn't even own a computer for fears Big Brother will somehow quote 'get her' *shakes head* Yup... awesome.

[woodyloveslinkin]

I'm waiting for the only other mother that hasn't joined facebook to come join now *evil eyes*

 

My mum keeps on poking me. I hate being poked when I'm not bored shitless. Especially if its from her and she's poking at me to get up from sleeping in. I usually roll outta bed (literally hitting my head on the closest thing, that either being the toy box in bathurst (i've hit my head so many times on that thing) or my dressing table in sydney or anything that's sharp and pointy that i've left on the floor) Mel's added my mum on facebook despite the fact that they dont know each other hahaha

 

The only two people that haven't joined facebook thats in my family is a) my dad, he doesn't even know how work the printer half the time b) my brother - just utterly refuses to conform, emo son of a bitch he is at times.