My ex.. yeah, theres alot of reading here. lol.

[Black_Angel]

Okay usually I wouldn't want to bother anyone with something like this but I just don't know who else to talk to. Apologies in advance; I am very likely to start rambling :]

 

Okay so I'll start from the beginning;

This Easter I went on a family holiday to Centre Parcs in France and met a boy called Mark there. We got on really well and I really felt comfortable with him and we just really enjoyed each other's company. Practically everyone else was French so it was good to have someone English to hang out with. So yeah, I met him on Monday and on the Wednesday he asked me out. I was a bit unsure at first and kinda panicked and shut him out, but later in the evening I changed my mind and accepted his offer. The problem was, I lived in the North of England near Manchester and he lived in Jersey, an island which is off the south coast of England. The gap was huge but tbh we didn't care. So yeah the rest of the week was amazing, he told me he loved me and I said it back, though I didn't think I meant it at the time, I thought it'd pass. However when Friday morning came and it was time to leave, I was so upset, I cried all the way home and leaving him was the hardest thing I've ever done. He felt the same and found it hard to leave too.

 

After the holiday we remained together. We called each other every couple of days and spoke online most nights. He invited me over to come and stay with him in the summer for a couple of weeks. We kept this up for about 6 weeks but then began to think logically; our relationship was never going to last. The distance was far too great. We talked about it and I gave it the final push; we broke up. However we agreed to remain friends and Mark promised to call me soon, but he never did.

 

In the past 2 months we have barely spoke. It has been in that time that I've started to really miss him, I miss talking to him, I miss him being there for me and everything, everything I do reminds me of him and not a day goes by when he isn't on my mind. When I'm trying to fall asleep at night I think of him and our time together, sad as it sounds I actually cried myself to sleep last night :/ None of my friends or family know about this, I'm pretty good at hiding my true emotions and everything.

 

I have a new boyfriend. His name is Matt and we've been friends for a while. He asked me out a few weeks ago and I accepted, despite my feelings for Mark. I thought that Matt might help me forget about Mark (confusing names I know lol), but he didn't, if anything my feelings for Mark have got stronger. I know I shouldn't be leading Matt on like this cause he's a nice guy and everything but I dunno.. I don't know what to do. I want to forget about Mark but I can't, and I think he's forgotten about me, since he's never online anymore and he never calls. Fair enough I've never called him either, I texted him asking how he was a couple of weeks ago and he replied, he was freindly enough and promised to call me soon. He never did.

 

I'm not trying to make Mark out as some heartless bastard. He's not. He was one of the nicest guys I've ever met, our time together was the best time in my life, but I just don't know whats going on anymore. I want to contact him but I don't want to do that and find out that he doesn't want to know me anymore or that he's happy with a new girlfriend or something. It's just everyday my feeling for him seem to grow and I don't want them to cause it's stupid and I know we couldn't be together properly because of the distance but yeah, I hope he feels the same, but I don't know.

 

Yeah so anyone got any advice? Should I try to contact him again? Should I just do nothing and carry on with Matt and hope for the best? I don't know, I've been leaving it for months and all it's done is make things worse. I'm in a predicament. It's tearing me apart and I hate it so much. I guess you could call it loving someone so much it hurts. It's like I want to get over him but I don't at the same time.

 

Sorry for the essay btw :]

[MrsBennington-Delson]

hmmm... well honestly IMO distance can never beat love... I mean if you love someone it doesn't matter where he lives... (in this case your distance isnt that much =S -goin off topic sorry)

 

I think you should txt him or soemthing... and tell him how you feel...

[Sygy]

i say go for it and call up Jersey guy!

[DarknessLover]

How far away (time wise) is he? My girlfriend and I are an hour away, and we said thats not enough distance to end our relationship. We kept it going, and so far only two fights, but they were those good ones that make you stronger as a relationship when done. Listen, you really need to think, would you give up your whole summer just to see him again? Would you change who you were to be there again? Is it really impossible to ever see him again?

[Friðbjörn]

If you don't like Matt, and you like Mark, then definately try to patch things up with Mark, if that's possible.

 

and I mean...him saying he's gonna call but then doesn't...he's probably scared. probably can't face you, can't sum up the strength to talk to you, after that big emotional rollercoaster you guys went through...

[Black_Angel]

Thanks guys, yeah Fribs I get what you mean about him being scared, I am so.. yeah.

And DL I would definitely give up my whole summer for him, it's just a case of whether he's still willing to do the same for me.

 

For anyone who doesn't know, Jersey is quite far away, I'd have to take an hour plane journey or get the train down to the south and get the ferry across the channel.

 

Yay I made a map: (sorry for the gay writing lol)

http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/7392/ukmap2np3.gif

 

 

I just don't wanna seem, y'know, clingy :/

I'm such a pessimist, I keep thinking of the worst case scenario.

[Friðbjörn]

you might feel clingy, might feel vulnerable, or whatever. it's all normal.

 

and it is kinda hard to keep up a relationship with a distance like that...but it's more than possible

[Sygy]

actually alison jerseys a bit lower than that! also, think of the possiblities of jersey-dude. you can write to each other, imagine how romantic that would be!

[Friðbjörn]

yeah it would be just like the 19th century

[Black_Angel]

actually alison jerseys a bit lower than that! also, think of the possiblities of jersey-dude. you can write to each other, imagine how romantic that would be!

Yeah I googled some maps but none of them actually had the channel islands on there so I had to kinda guess lol xD

 

Oooh the writing idea sounds cute hehe ^^

 

I think ima gonna text him later, I'll let you guys know what he says (if he says anything :|)

 

Thanks again!

[Black_Angel]

Urgh. I can hardly bring myself to press the send button on my phone.. that sounds pathetic. lol.

 

Okay it's sent. I have tears in my eyes now omg whyyy! stupid emotions

I told him that I miss him and not to give up on me, asked how he was and told him that we need a chat. Hah.

[DarknessLover]

I wish you the best of luck, and the feeling you have may as well be soemthing of a bit of love :-)

[Victim]

I hope every thing works out for you!

[Sygy]

has he replyed?

[Friðbjörn]

Urgh. I can hardly bring myself to press the send button on my phone.. that sounds pathetic. lol.

 

Okay it's sent. I have tears in my eyes now omg whyyy! stupid emotions

I told him that I miss him and not to give up on me, asked how he was and told him that we need a chat. Hah.

don't beat yourself up about it...you would hardly be human if you didn't feel this way =)

 

a very good text too, I feel

[DarknessLover]

If he decides to be a loser and dump you

 

Watch this a few times!!

 

YOU WILL LAUGH AND BE HAPPY!

[Black_Angel]

He hasn't replied yet Bah I knew this was a bad idea!

 

As far as I can tell there are 3 possibilities:

1. Obviously, he's ignoring me.

2. He has no credit (though if he cared enough he'd go get some/use someone elses phone!)

3. He's on holiday. He did tell me that he was going away in the summer but didn't say when exactly.

 

So yeah I'm hoping it's the latter :/

 

 

Hahahah lol DL that vid is awesome =D

[Friðbjörn]

wait a bit, there's always a chance something came up or something...or like you said that he's on holiday

[Black_Angel]

Yeah it's what I'm gonna have to do... It's annoying though, I've always been impatient xD

[LinKah]

You should talk with Mark.. as a friends and let him what u told us.. u miss talking with him.. and as for Matt... maybe tell him what happened in holidays.. =) that's what i would do, but you need to think about it and make your best choice.

[Black_Angel]

Thanks hun. Matt already knows what happened in the holidays, but he thinks that I've put it behind me.. oops? :/

[MrsBennington-Delson]

hmm... :/

 

You should tell him... I mean that you still feel something for Mark

[Black_Angel]

I know yeah I feel so guilty! But I like Matt too he's a nice guy and seems to respect me.

I'll see what happens with Mark, if he doesn't reply or anything then I'll have to make a really big effort to hate him (lol). But if he does reply then.. hmm.. I'll definitely have to say something to Matt :/

[allieking]

you can't be with someone if you have feelings for someone else, its not fair. if you feel that strong for mark then you hvae to tell him or you will wonder what would have happend forever. i know he lives far away but if you two feel the same it wont matter. when i first met andy we could only see eachother for 4 hours on a sunday, that lasted for 8 months and he met the kids and we have been together everyday ever since. i know its not the same as your situation but that made us stronger and i think its the reason why were so in love now.

 

 

have you ever heard of the saying....absence makes the heart grow stronger, in mine and andys case it did and maybe for you it might aswell.

 

 

follow your heart hun, you never know where it may take you

[Black_Angel]

Ta Allie, yeah that saying is what I used to tell myself all the time when we were together! It's actually one of the last things I said to him in person, and it turned out to be very true indeed.