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Posted

yeah fri.

im going to go and listen to your track of doom.

 

iam mors sola fuga est

 

 

[broken External Image]:http://img409.imageshack.us/img409/9977/n76430001741552817731hb2.jpg

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Posted

Hey man what happened to that projetk we talked about a long time ago....

 

like we wanted to throw our musical power together and create a once in a lifetime EP...

 

hmmm...

Posted

ohh i know what u mean, school right?

love u, report back from time to time

 

iam mors sola fuga est

 

 

[broken External Image]:http://img409.imageshack.us/img409/9977/n76430001741552817731hb2.jpg

Posted

hello thanks for the replies loves :D lol

yep school and shiz

 

 

well jeezy I was actually thinking about that too

I dunno how we're gonna make it work but I'd like to do it, something really interesting might come out of it

[broken External Image]:http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/2784/lpfas08mostintelligentym8.jpg

 

Posted

*hugs* for my Vi (old habits die hard, sorry bout that! haha)

 

Glad to hear things are going okay for the most part. Yay for the rant.

 

But the truth about depression is it takes many varied forms. Sometimes it's a factor of environment or life circumstance, loneliness, genetic predisposition, negative self-talk and so on and so forth. Not everyone who's depressed gets suicidal. I'm sure you know the text book explanations and demographics and statistics etc so I wont repeat the obvious. But just don't try and pigeonhole yourself. You might be quite right assuming your feelings in part are due to your age (I'm not trying to patronize you here, speaking even on a physiological level) have to applaud your maturity for that. Some people see all younger people as being not just prone to depressive states but its almost culturally acceptable and expected when you're younger. It's when that carries on people begin to worry. In all reality you seem pretty with-it to me. Whether its hormones, boredom, stress, whatever, everything comes and goes on a whim. Providing you're enjoying yourself for the most part and try and gravitate where time allows to doing the things that make you the most happy then you'll be okay.

 

The moron that coined the phrase 'Silence is Golden' must have been married. Or divorced. Because those of us who are alone at whatever point in our lives know the irony in that cliche. I don't have any answers for you. Dont even have them for me. But it's sometimes nice to know others out here in the great wide (virtual) world share your views on things. I would say you're not alone but we both know when you physically, mentally or emotionally are there's no nebulous grey area to that, you either are or you're not, not struggling to forge associations with a few letters on a computer screen...

Man... that sounded depressive just saying it! Haha

 

But the point to all that (if there was one to be had) was just to say I might not feel you but I hear you. Sometimes just being acknowledged by the planet in some ways is enough some days...

 

Hope life despite all that *waves arms in universal gesture of whole wide world or huge* is grand.

 

And go the creativity! :clap: Always stoked to hear that.

 

As for the project sounds promising. We know the guy's got talent ;)

 

Anyhoo just wanted to say hi beyond a generic 'Hey miss you talk soon' message. Hope you're taking care of yourself. Hope to see you round at some point. Sure I will :D

 

TTYL

~Rav

~ If I'm not here, I'm there ^ ~

~ All new general discussion forum ~ Click pic !!! ~

Posted

thanks for that post, that makes a lot of sense and resonates with me...

I don't think I can or will hit back at you with as big and sensible a post, but I can try :D

 

the one real "symptom" that I feel with myself is the constant bouncing from happy to sad. other than that any clinical sympton is non-existant with me

 

that part about the letters on the screen is so true...

I'm glad though that for example you and Jojo have met, so we know that these relationships are really between people and not just some insignificant computer usage...

 

thanks for everything. I gotta say it's gotten a bit dull around here. people like you Jojo and Phi are like non-existant around here except in maybe COB and your story...

[broken External Image]:http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/2784/lpfas08mostintelligentym8.jpg

 

Posted

thanks for everything. I gotta say it's gotten a bit dull around here. people like you Jojo and Phi are like non-existant around here except in maybe COB and your story...

Not even the CoB much these days I'm afraid. My groupie-itis has run it's course for the most part I think. But no matter. As for the story it's pretty much all I do when I'm not at work so that's kind of self explanatory. I wish there were more intriguing things to do here at times (to make me want to spread 'myself' around as it were) but the truth is I don't think it's so much content as maybe my own apathy. I couldn't even suggest anything that would motivate me more to be honest. I don't know :confused:

 

But as far as the rest goes the swings between, being dramatic and fast, for the most part may be symptomatic of a few things, and I don't mean depression. We touched on it before, but if you read my long winded post in the dark room about 'Life is... boring?' or something like that I think to some degree I can relate to what you're saying. Maybe that and in essence (again not trying to patronize you, just thinking aloud is all) at this age not quite adolescent not quite mature established adult you're still trying to find yourself. I'm not talking text book cliches here (though I tend to gravitate towards them a lot I fear) just a basic concept that you're still finding your place in life, in the world, metaphysically, biologically, psychologically and so forth settling into your own. Maybe that's part of it. Boredom, having too much time to think (and over think things, trust me, can be your own worst enemy), and maybe too little people/close friend/true associations rather than casual acquaintances and lack of general/sensory stimulus around you might all add to what you're describing.

Wow - should have ditched art school and gone straight into psychology huh? hahaha

 

As for sis and I (too hard calling her Jo when even face to face it's "sis" ;)) admittedly we're lucky. It's not everyday we get to board planes and head OS to drop in on our internet buddies. If only. But the experience taught me one very important thing. As lonely as I got previously when your sitting up there thousands of feet in the air leaving behind everything you've ever known to experience the life of another you certainly see yourself in a new light and for what you truly are. We're all just millions of dots on a big blue ball really. Seeing the world and meeting new people like I did changed my perspective on a lot of things, and my depressive state was gladly one.

As lonely as I get now I realize really everyone's just like me in their own way. All wanting the same things, same connections, same desires and thoughts and fears and so on. It's one thing to read/hear about it but quite another to see it first hand. Helps you appreciate the little things I guess.

And while I'm sounding eerily like some Hallmark card writer I'll shut my tap now before I choke on my own hypocrisy

:lol:

 

Anyway just saying hi again. Its my day off from work today so yeah... all this time to think and write... as opposed to just thinking about writing. May as well share some of my mental insights with you while I'm at it ;) Very few here have the stamina for long winded but coherent deep discussions - or few that I am friends with anyway. Glad despite our busy schedules we still get time to chat. Miss my Vi.

*pauses for nostalgic reflection* haha.

 

And thanks for letting me run amok now in your place.

Take care of yourself. Talk again laters :D

~ If I'm not here, I'm there ^ ~

~ All new general discussion forum ~ Click pic !!! ~

Posted

ah I see where you're coming from.

right now when I have time to come here I just kinda browse randomly, a lot of the times I have no longing to post a reply anywhere...

 

you don't need to tell me, I know you're not patronising, you always mean well =)

but yeah...it's this thing we're all after as you say, finding ourselves, this universal purpose if it is out there lying somewhere...

I'm not sure if I've found purpose but I have found the one big passion in life, which for me is music and that is something that will always follow me.

but finding yourself...I imagine that's kinda hard for example for you, when you work your butt off like you do...

and I don't think that it's fair that some rich people can wander off all day round and do whatever and the rest of us have to work like slaves for a minute's peace...

I guess it's why life goes by so fast. work work work...

 

 

I'm really glad you're writing again. cause I think while it pleases a lot of people, it's something that you really enjoy, and something that you're really good at =)

[broken External Image]:http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/2784/lpfas08mostintelligentym8.jpg

 

Posted

well jeezy I was actually thinking about that too

I dunno how we're gonna make it work but I'd like to do it, something really interesting might come out of it

 

Well I could send you some track ideas...and then you could record something to it...idk

Posted
Hey honey just saying hi...<3 Hope you're doing fine darling, I apologise if you don't see me much on or if I don't contribute that much in here anymore. The truth is, I don't have anything substantial to say most of the time, I just don't feel like posting anything at all. I have been busy, so many things have happened lately that I don't even have time to sum everything up in a coherent post in my journal. Lol Perhaps I can't be arsed or perhaps I don't think others can be arsed to read them haha But hope we talk again on MSN soon I'm on pretty often so we'll definitely catch up soon *hugs*

[broken External Image]:http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g189/rbffe/rob_opens-eyes.gif

 

My sis about Rob: "You'll be celebrating your golden infatuation with him one day.."

Posted
fribby. i actually miss you.

 

iam mors sola fuga est

 

 

[broken External Image]:http://img409.imageshack.us/img409/9977/n76430001741552817731hb2.jpg

Posted
Well I could send you some track ideas...and then you could record something to it...idk

that would be great

I think you'd have to mix the whole thing, you have better facilites than me lol

and I mean, I can send stuff, you can send, it can just be back and forth or something

just see how it goes

I'm looking forward to it anyway

 

I'm not that much online these days but I'll be more online soon

and well I can usually spare a moment to drop by and send you, or you send me, so...

 

Hey honey just saying hi...<3 Hope you're doing fine darling, I apologise if you don't see me much on or if I don't contribute that much in here anymore. The truth is, I don't have anything substantial to say most of the time, I just don't feel like posting anything at all. I have been busy, so many things have happened lately that I don't even have time to sum everything up in a coherent post in my journal. Lol Perhaps I can't be arsed or perhaps I don't think others can be arsed to read them haha But hope we talk again on MSN soon I'm on pretty often so we'll definitely catch up soon *hugs*

hello there

don't apologize, it's alright. although I do miss you of course...

that's life, people are busy, things change. anything can happen. I'm not much online right now myself so I'm not about to listen to you apologize for that :D lol

but yeah I think I'll try and be more online...

 

fribby. i actually miss you.

aww

miss you too...what have you been up to?

[broken External Image]:http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/2784/lpfas08mostintelligentym8.jpg

 

Posted
that would be great

I think you'd have to mix the whole thing, you have better facilites than me lol

and I mean, I can send stuff, you can send, it can just be back and forth or something

just see how it goes

I'm looking forward to it anyway

 

I'm not that much online these days but I'll be more online soon

and well I can usually spare a moment to drop by and send you, or you send me, so...

 

cool....I'll send you something during the weekend.

Posted
Hi dear.. what is up ^^

[broken External Image]:http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/1600/12nj7.jpg

http://www.sucksbbs.net/data/MetaMirrorCache/fd0ddb83298f4db27f38b33444f76873.png

 

(On MSN)

Fribs: purple is cool, I'm confident enough about my sexuality to sport this colour

Jona: im just gay enough...

Posted

long time no update.

been really busy lately, school shizzzzz

 

 

besides that Ive been playing music, the bands been writing new stuff and rehearsing. we have a lot of flipped out weird songs, but one really stands out. it's a kind of a mixture between an xmas song, military marching drums, and african percussion music. or something, lol.

I've been meaning to buy a new instrument for a while, I've set my sight on a violin. not sure what kind though...

would be a bit cool to have learned guitar, keyboards, glockenspiel, bass, and violin all on my own...plus I mean to learn drumming sometime. heh

but yeah...other aspirations, I've been writing a lot of poetry lately, which feels good. it takes away a bit of my sleep sometimes cause I get the most inspiration after midnight heh

and then I've started off writing some stories a few times but never continued...I hope I can finish what I started tonight, I think it will be something like a short story or novella.

I was thinking of posting something here if I can be arsed translating...

 

 

anyway ciao a tutti I'm sleepy right now...

[broken External Image]:http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/2784/lpfas08mostintelligentym8.jpg

 

Posted
Ah, it's so nice to hear that you're busy with all the stuff you love...I hope we're gonna see sth...^^

http://www.sucksbbs.net/data/MetaMirrorCache/8b479714c2981449a34f1f582adc8fb2.jpg

...ljubim...<3

Posted

Lol sorry I didn't get back to ya fribs, xD I miss our talks. well.. except for the fact all I can talk about is my usually crappy love life :p

sorry bout that o.O

[broken External Image]:http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/1600/12nj7.jpg

http://www.sucksbbs.net/data/MetaMirrorCache/fd0ddb83298f4db27f38b33444f76873.png

 

(On MSN)

Fribs: purple is cool, I'm confident enough about my sexuality to sport this colour

Jona: im just gay enough...

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