The 'How You Feelin'' thread v6.0

[woodyloveslinkin]

^ I know the feeling. Just as I fell asleep Matt IMed me and then I accidentally logged outta MSN. That was after I hit the 'sleep' button on my computer. Ugh.

[LPNailz]

Sigh. Another potential concert kiboshed. Shinedown is going to be just two hours away, but it's too late at night - Mom doesn't want to have to drive back so late. I think she might've gone for it, too, if it hadn't been for that...

 

So I'm kind of down, though it's not as bad as getting hyped up about the NIN show for two days and then getting the red X.

[Blue Sky Turtles]

Miserable. That's about how I feel in one word.

[woodyloveslinkin]

Anxious. Waiting for Rav and Matt come on either AIM or MSN. But on another hand, I lolled my butt off at Kath and Kim and another John Cleese classic episode of Fawlty Towers. I saw the girl that plays Kim in a magazine today (amen to my love of gossip magazines lol) and the chick who plays Sharon (Magda Szubenski) and god they both different in real life. Which prompts me to think, taking into consideration the topic of last night's convo with Rav, why would you name your kid Effeny-Grey? Weird. I still like Blossom as a girls name *pouts*.

[Ravynlee]

Am feelin' peeved that my earlier reply to Sarah's story was 'lost' by my computer throwing a hissy fit. Another rant now lost to the ages, never to be known by another soul. Oh well, I tried.

 

 

Actually all jokes aside, I'm actually feeling a bit down. I guess it's natural. Feel a bit sorry for myself, I guess because in the grand scheme of things I'm not happy with myself, either who I am as a person or where I am in my life right about now. It's that time of year to get self-reflective and basically I don't like what I see. Generally when I get in this mood I'd just drown it out with alcohol but I'm wiser now, knowing that there's no real benefit to be had from that, just the murder of braincells that I need to cling to in order to save any hope of writing in the near future.

 

As anyone who knows me would know, when I get this way or upset or mad I just shut-down, that proverbial wall goes up and I'll just internalise everything, I won't tell anyone at all. The longer the silence the bigger the mood behind it. I can keep big secrets too well and never tell a soul. I'd like to call it independance but really, it's a self-defence mechanism. I like to act tough but I'm not. Sis knows, when I'm quiet something's wrong (okay, more quiet than usual). Problem is I don't know what's 'wrong.' I think without being too self-critical I just feel like a failure. I have nothing to show for myself and no immediate prospects of that changing. Don't know why, I've lived 8 years longer than most people in my family ever thought I would, and 33 now longer than I was medically supposed to. Just wondering what the sheer point any of that 'is' ?

 

I have a computer screen to talk to but no one to really listen.

 

Also thinking this blue mood will pass in a few days (two, to be exact, a week at the most) but right now I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. I'll kick myself for this later and probably delete this post, chalking it down to a knee-jerk moment of vulnerability, but for now...

 

[woodyloveslinkin]

^ It'll be ok hun *hugs*

 

 

I've got a stupid summer cold. Sneezing my little brainless head off all morning and fell like someone has shoved something up my nose and clogged me up. Ugh. I'm getting worse and Matt's getting better...(currently shaking my head at him about getting wasted when he's supposed to have the mumps).

 

I said it this morning when she first told me (stupid me doubted her) and I'll say it to her again, but happy 33th bday to my ma!!

[Ravynlee]

^thanks, and thanks. For the record after all this time I reckon I have a pretty good grasp of when my birthday falls, so that disbelief was amusing, then bemusing. Oh well, got a laugh out of me at 2 am or so. Kudos for that!

 

Hope you're feeling better soon.

 

 

Me?

What people want to hear: Great!

What I'm telling myself: I'm all good.

What I really want to say: Fuck I'm lonely.

 

Really, I'm getting there. Life could be far far worse. I should be grateful.

[woodyloveslinkin]

Ah tired. >.< Haven't gotten a proper night's sleep and couldn't sleep well. So when I couldn't sleep, I ended downloading songs and re-arranging my computer's settings. Like instead of the crappy blue theme, I changed it back to my beloved olive green theme. Ah, so much better on the eyes. And I ended up downloading songs as well, and write some TDT.

 

But my friend and I are having a pointless argument about who wants who out of the Underworld characters/actors. I want Selene and Lucian. But of course's, he's not budging with Selene. Damn men are stubborn, lol.

[Ravynlee]

^ I'd rather have Lucian. Even over Michael. Over all the characters in that trilogy he's the one I empathise with the most.

 

How am I feeling? Ok all things considered *shrugs*

[woodyloveslinkin]

I don't know Craven is pretty drool material...

 

I moved my stuff around today in my room and put my couch in it which I had in the garage for ages. Downloaded Underworld 2 today, downloading 3 now...and Matt downloaded Underworld

[Sponge]

Well i feel sick cuz i have a cold. Also today i had to remove the carpet in my living room, dinning room, hall, and in front of the door. It didn't take long but i feel very upset and worried. I got a test on Wed. and i didn't even study that much at all. And not only that but me, my father, and brother have to take off the carpet on the stars and in my mom's room. Oh and we also have to take of some wood in the kitchen. Then after that we have to put some tiles on. And that's nothing, there is tile under the carpet and some black stuff. So i get very upset with my bro at time. Plus with my job....yeah. So in general i feel...pretty tired and sick and frustrated.

[woodyloveslinkin]

I wanna write but I'm all written out today

[Ravynlee]

Good, happy from my late night trip to the movies. Good old fashioned gore flick (for the most part) - now just sitting here deciding what to do. Like Sarah I wanna write but not exactly sure on what I wanna say. Hmm.

[woodyloveslinkin]

Happy. I am the champion of Hexxagon on LPA now I'm anxious. Tired. Bored. Should go on MSN but waiting on AIM aimlessly. Been playing LPA games all day. Did housework and some other stuff. Cleaned up my room, that's a first and did some ironing which I haven't done in years (no joke lol) wanna write still but don't want to at the same time. Want to sleep, can't be bothered. Been getting up Matt half the day on his tenses in his words. Getting up him for doing certain things to his story (he's a fucking awesome writer as well but lacks the confidence to write something).

 

 

Like my LPA ma says - BLEH!

[Sponge]

I feel like my cold is getting worse every day. Ehh oh well. Feel kinda bored tho idk what to do.

[woodyloveslinkin]

I should write today....

 

Bleh stayed up to 4.30 am this morning playing LPA games, bad Sarah, bad. Still can't fucking win at Othello/Reversi. Why am I listening to shitty Amy Lee? I don't know. Lol. I'm tolerating her voice a bit more. I think it's gotta do with my best friend who comes over to my house and demands we play Evanescence her favourite band, and that bitches to me how I don't like Evanescence but I like other female vocal bands (Within Temptation, Killing Heidi, Nightwish etc etc ..... like she adds "you forgot to add Placebo to that list!") Aww we love each other Heather and I <3 she's gone back to uni nowadays so I won't be seeing her for a while

[Ravynlee]

Am feeling a bit impatient. Going to look at 2 houses today, I hate this, I just wish I could find a place, have all my stuff moved over there and I was setting up. I hate this not-knowing part. I'd like to know where it is I'm going to be calling home after the coming few weeks.

Plus am going to lunch with Lisa in about an hour, waitng for her to finish at the doctors. Just sitting here waiting all dressed up with nowhere to go (haha) well not for an hour at least.

Also thinkin about writing. Too many ideas choking my brain. Also after like 30 pages of Stricken thinking I could scrap most of that and start again from a whole new angle. Damn my restlessness.

On the upside it's raining and I always adore that. Add in some thick fog or mist and a cool breeze and I'd be in my literal element.

Maybe I should move to Europe

[HybirdTheory]

Dang......

 

yea i have tose days.... i feel like shit today

[woodyloveslinkin]

I might be going to England sometime next year *goes and tells Allie on facebook, maybe Josipa if she can swim good* Anyway, if we are still together, Matt and I, what he's got planned is that he going to give me 1,000 pounds (damn i dont have any pound sign on my computer) so when I go over there, I already have money to come to Australia with. I said to him that he'll have to give to me in cash. But as far as I know, I'm either going over there the end of this year if he doesn't decide to come over and see Owen and myself or next year. But if he's coming here, he's either going to live in QLD () with some relatives and stay and work in the country or he's just gonna end up spending christmas with me and my family. But damn I wanna go to England now!

[speedthief]

now i am feeling very sad as some of my schoolmates bullied me and i am sort of fucking angry gonna punch their fucking faces!!

[woodyloveslinkin]

Getting up myself for writing T:C and not The Denial Twist.

[speedthief]

quite happy now cause i have this forum

[Ravynlee]

That's easy Sarah, move to QLD

 

Me: feeling better than I was earlier - applied for one place, currently applying for another. Now that the proverbial ball is rolling I feel a lot better.

[woodyloveslinkin]

Be on this forum for a few more years and then you'll be extra happy

 

 

@ Rav - Can I live in the gutter in front of your place?

[speedthief]

nice now i want to play linkin park songs