Tourniquet - Prologue

[woodyloveslinkin]

Ahhwell I wasn't sure where to put this, as I didn't want to edit the first post out of Tourniquet, because at the time I didn't know where I was going to do with the story, but now I do and if I added it to the latest post of Tourniquet I figured it would confuse readers. There have been many inquiries into the future of Tourniquet and where I was going to go with it, concerning if it was going to remain on LPF or not, but I'm happy to say, almost finished it, and yes, I do wanna publish it, but for the reader's who don't wanna read the whole story just yet, I've done a prologue, so here it is... so mods please don't move/merge this with the actual Tourniquet thread (which the link is in my sig btw ^^)..... feel free to comment/review

 

Prologue

 

“Welcome to the New World,” Jonathon smiled in his black suit, with his brown hair slicked over his head. Brad and Draven smiled eagerly agreeing with him, in their identical suits as to the one that Jonathon was wearing. Jonathon was in a happy mood as his wife of many years. Felicity had just given birth to their first child. Brad and Draven were Jonathon’s beloved friends and Draven was his successor, before now, as his heir had just been born. “Tell me honestly friends of mine, do you like this perfect world that we have worked on, day in and day out?” They both nodded without saying a word. Jonathon smiled. “Now I know you’re pulling my legs now.”

“It is great,” Draven coldly remarked, not getting over the wonderful news that he had just been replaced by a child whom was to take his place as heir to the most powerful corporation to exist in the New World.

“Have you seen your baby?” asked Brad, as Jonathon nodded. “Is it a girl or a boy? Have you named it yet?” Unlike Draven, Brad was excited for Jonathon and was bursting full of questions.

“No not yet, the news was just broken to me and I have to go and see Felicity in her chambers later on this evening,” answered Jonathon, smiling at the fact that he was now a father of a baby girl. “And your answer, Bradley, I have a baby girl now. And I’m still thinking about her name. I want it to be something traditional, something that is noble and has a strong name. Nothing too fancy…” Brad and Draven looked lost for a second and Jonathon picked up on the lost looks. “Input, maybe?”

“Elizabeth? Victoria?” Brad suggested, as he reflected back on his English history for a second or two. He remembered two names that were noble and had powerful historical connotations to them. Jonathon started to contemplate those two names. He frowned so it showed that his mind was thinking about Brad’s suggestion.

“Too fancy,” Draven remarked. “What if you name your baby girl, Sarah?”

“Why does that sound too bland and boring for my liking Draven?” asked Jonathon, crossing his arms. A couple of people passed them, as they were standing in the new furnished hallway that led to a dozen rooms and even more hallways that made the Spyral like a labyrinth deliberately designed to confuse intruders and to trap them. The only people who knew them inside out where the people that worked inside of the walls of the corporation. “What connotation that I am obviously missing does it have?”

“It’s a biblical reference to the Old Testament, Sarah was the wife of Abraham,” Draven recalled, as Jonathon shook his head. “What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s too religious, and if people find out that I’ve named my daughter after a religious icon, we’re going to have the Jews back in here, seriously, I got rid of religion for a reason,” Jonathon explained to Draven. “Imagine their greasy little hands wanting to touch my daughter, because she’s the ruler of the world and has a Jewish name. I’m not going to let that happen to my daughter. But I do like the sound of Victoria for her.”

“Technically, if you derive the name properly it has Hebrew origins, not exactly Jewish, I think you should at least consider the name Sarah for her name,” Draven continued to push the name forward with Jonathon. But he knew if he pushed it too much he would be, under the New World orders, he would be exiled for questioning Jonathon’s supremacy. “It means princess anyway, and isn’t she just that in this world? I would think so, her being the daughter of the man who is practically king now.” Jonathon smirked at Draven’s remark, as Brad rolled his eyes at Draven. Brad knew Draven was annoyed, just by the way he acted, and the tone that he gave Jonathon. Brad knew Draven too well, and Brad had already started to fear for Jonathon’s daughter’s safety, knowing that Draven was meant to be the heir if Felicity didn’t produce an heir for Jonathon.

“I see where you are coming from,” Jonathon said, as he was still deep in thought about names for his first child. “Sarah…nothing fancy, but I still like the name Victoria for her.”

“Have you asked Felicity to what she wants to call her daughter?” asked Brad. Jonathon nodded. “And what did she request for her daughter to be called?”

“Any name that I chose for her, she said she couldn’t chose,” Jonathon answered as he laughed at something that Felicity had said something before. “I remember her saying when she first found out that now she had a whole nine months to think about names. She said there were so many that she liked but she couldn’t choose.”

“Sarah sounds like a noble name,” Brad agreed.

“And so does Victoria,” added Jonathon.

“Victoria has been overused in Old World Hollywood, wasn’t she married to a football star in England?” asked Draven, as he realised that Brad had teamed up with him to convince Jonathon to choose Sarah. Brad chuckled as he realised who Draven was talking about as Jonathon ignored the comment. “So it’s settled, you are going to tell Felicity that she’s going to be called Sarah?”

“Yes, Sarah, my little princess,” muttered Jonathon. “Well, my dearly beloved associates, both Bradley and Draven, I have to depart now, but before you go, I wish to speak to you, Bradley alone.” Jonathon looked to Draven to leave. Draven gave his farewell to Jonathon as he left the discussion with his head bowed down, trying to restrain his anger and frustration. Jonathon followed Draven with his eyes, making sure that Draven was out of reach so he couldn’t hear the conversation that he was about to converse with Brad about. Despite how faithful and devoted Draven was to Jonathon, Jonathon still had his suspicions about him. It was another reason why Jonathon was glad to have Sarah come into his life now, so he didn’t feel bad about betraying a good friend so easily. Jonathon looked back to Brad, but he kept his voice down. “Now I have a proposition for you Bradley. I have been thinking about this ever since I found out that Felicity was carrying our first-born. But I have a positive feeling that things won’t go so smoothly in the future with Spyral.”

“Don’t say that, we’ve had a lot of faith in building this corporation to the skies up above and we are beyond the heavens, Jonathon, don’t doubt yourself, you are the most powerful man alive right now,” Brad tried to tell Jonathon, but Jonathon shook his head.

“I have to think of such things right now Bradley,” Jonathon told Brad. “It is not the most positive and enlightening conversation topic, but it has to be said. If I somewhat perish and Felicity is not there to take care of Spyral and of Sarah, I daresay, I am going to entrust you with Sarah. You have to make sure she is always safe from any uprising; you will guide her through life if we are to depart from this life tomorrow, only an example, not literally. You are to show her the ways of Spyral, and you are to raise her like as if you were me, her father. I wish I was, but I am not immortal, no one is.”

“So, I play like a godfather role to her?” asked Brad. Jonathon nodded. “I will do my best if you are to depart this life. You’re one of few people I wish were immortal. You have done this world great, and the New World has hardly begun. How long has it been now, since the starting of the New World?”

“Four years from today,” answered Jonathon, giving Brad a backslapping hug. They let go of each other. “Now I must depart. I have a feeling in the back of my head that Felicity is eagerly awaiting for our daughter’s name and I am eager to hold her in my arms for the first time.”

“Can I come with you to see your daughter?” asked Brad. “Or do you just want to be left alone? I can always come back later and see her cute smile, if that’s what you want.”

“You can come along,” answered Jonathon, as he turned around and started to walk off. Brad walked by his side as they walked down at the hallway together. “How is Project Narcissi Extraction coming along?”

“It’s still in its early days, so far, it’s going great,” answered Brad, giving Jonathon a smile. “It was a great idea, and I dare say, I have a feeling that it is coming along just so well, it makes me want to cry at times.” Jonathon laughed. “Really, not joking either, I mean, would I lie to you, Jonathon?”

“I know you will not,” answered Jonathon.

It was about another fifteen minutes until Jonathon and Brad reached Felicity’s chamber’s doors. Jonathon knocked on the wooden doors, which were shut and Jonathon didn’t want to intrude on the mother with her new baby daughter. Someone answered the door, who was Rachel, Felicity’s maid. She didn’t wear anything that would tell anyone she was a maid; she wore her normal cream shirt with blue jeans.

“Yes, Jonathon, are you here to see your new baby girl?” asked Rachel, as Jonathon nodded. She saw Brad and smiled. “Bradley however cannot come in just yet. Felicity requests not to be an item for display just yet. It was a painful process after all.”

“Nine hours I recall,” Jonathon smirked, as Rachel let him in and Brad stood outside, with his hands in the pockets of his pants. Rachel left the room, closing the door behind her. Jonathon looked around the room where Felicity held what seemed to be a bundle of blankets in her arms and sat up straight in her bed. “Hey sugar. Looks like I have two sugars now.” Felicity smiled as Jonathon walked across the room and sat on her chamber’s bed. He lent over and gave her a peck on the forehead. He looked down at the small infant and looked back to Felicity.

“She has your eyes and she has my face,” his wife said to him, looking from her husband to her new bundle of joy. “She’s gorgeous.”

“Just like her mother,” complimented Jonathon.

“Have you given her a name?” asked Felicity. Felicity had the dark haired characteristics in which the child in her arms had obviously inherited from her, as there were wisps of dark hair lingering around on her head, while the child had inherited Jonathon’s sparkling deep sapphire eyes. Jonathon nodded with a smile still on his face. “What is it?”

“Sarah,” answered Jonathon, as Felicity nodded in agreement. “It means princess and that is what you have there in your arms right now, a princess. Can I hold her and show Bradley outside? You know him; he is over the moon about Sarah’s birth.” Felicity didn’t object as Brad was her friend as well. She passed the small child that laid awake, silently looking around at the New World around her to Jonathon and rested her arms on her lap. It was the first time that she had let go of the child ever since being handed her daughter. Jonathon carried the child in his arms, as he looked down at her and stared at her in amazement how much she looked like him. She didn’t stir, she didn’t do anything as she was wrapped in the pink blankets, and she was just still and silent. He carefully opened the door of his wife’s chambers and Brad stood there out in the hallway talking to Rachel about various things.

Brad’s attention was quickly diverted to the child that was in Jonathon’s arms. Brad felt so happy for Jonathon as he quickly realised that if Sarah’s parents died, Brad would have to treat her like as if she was his own daughter, because of the pledge he had given to Jonathon.

“Isn’t she cute?” asked Brad, as he lent over and saw the new child of theirs. “She looks, oh my, she looks like you so much, Jonathon.” Brad looked back to Jonathon. “What did Felicity say about the name?”

“She loved it, Bradley,” answered Jonathon.

“What’s the new baby’s name?” asked Rachel, still standing there.

“Sarah,” answered Jonathon, as Brad ranted on about the new child. Ten minutes later, the child had fallen asleep while Brad was busy ranting on about the child. “She has to get some sleep now.”

“I understand completely, wow, I’m still not over the fact of how much she looks like you,” Brad said, as Rachel and Brad said goodnight to the child.

Jonathon smiled, as he went back into the chambers and Rachel pulled the doors shut, for privacy reasons. Jonathon went over to the crib, after giving the child back to Felicity for her to say her goodnights to the child. The crib had been thatched with strips of cane and reed, placed the sleeping child inside the soft lining of it. He looked at the sleeping child.

“Goodnight my princess, sweet dreams,” he whispered to his heir.

[Ravynlee]

Good.

One question, is Rachel the character eventually to be known as Ravyn? Just wondered. Not for obvious reasons, but as you mentioned the Narcissisi Extraction Program and there's a 'lower class subject (maid)' working there, I thought what better way to have Felicity bumped off than by someone inside her inner circle - like a maid with a head screwed up from the NI process. Just wondering. Of course all of this only made sense having read so far into the story.

 

My assumption would be, give this prologue to someone who knows nothing at all about Tourniquet as we do and see what they draw from it. In my humble opinion as an opener it doesn't give enough away. Character depth of course, it's great because we know what happens and Sarah's future and passion for revenge down the track - my only real qualm with any of this is when Jonathon and Draven and Brad speak of this perfect new world, even in its fledgling stages, it reads like current day now. You need it forward more. The architecture and surrounds don't give enough hint as of the timeline or the mark of wealth and power. Had you mentioned the rare wood, the abandonned works of art from bygone centuries as relics, or even some sense that life has developed beyond the now then you'll save confusion for the reader down the track, I think. Again, just my humble opinion. No biggie ^^

 

Aside from that was good. The name Rachel, which really is a Biblical reference, was again a tad offputting. The fact you mentioned Jonathon's contempt for the Jewish race almost made this viable - almost - considering he has someone with that name working in hs house. Hense maybe a comment were he to call her a new Spyral name and she may respond in confusion before agreeing with him would show thet her Old World mind has been manipulated - again ONLY if Rachel / Ravyn are the same person. But given she has an integral role in essentially destroying Sarah's family you have a chance here to use Rachel as a case study for a paragraph subtly in how determined Spyral has become in trying to wipe out all individuality in its subjects. Just a thought is all.

 

Aside from this I also thought too much time was spent discussing the origins of Sarah's name. A simple sentence would have said it, a paragraph sure, but looking back, despite the 'king's' joy of becoming a father, the prologue was all about Sarah and not setting the scene for the real story, which is essentially the rise and perhaps fall of Spyral the greatest superpower in history. You can add more in if you so feel the need to counterbalance this, it doesn't even have to be a 300 pages thesis, BUT at some point again some hint of the way in how Spyral has come to shape this New World over the past 4 years, (like the stench of the 3rd world war still lingered) or something would give your reader a better idea where this story comes from as much as where it might be headed - and I would think this would have to be powerful. Capture the horror and fascination of the promise of a better life that's soon to crumble. If you do that you'll also give us, the readers, a chance to empathise with both sides, the rebels and the corporation when the final confrontation takes place. Like I said a prologue shouldn't give everything away, nor should it be a summery of everything you already know as the writer, BUT you should use it to set the scene, really indicate the horror, the shock value of corruption gone mad, something to draw the reader's interest in and set the scene for the rest of the book. You've started off with a serene birth of a New World princess. There's no hint anything terrible's one day going to happen. Already you've subconsciously set the scene as a book about a father and his daughter in a position of great wealth but the rest of the story really doesn't back it up. Had you ended the prologue with the death of Felicity and the rage Jonathon felt against the obvious Old Worlder who did this, THAT would set the tone for the rest of the book - this battle between good and bad, the differences between conformity and individual free will, and the hate that Sarah has for those that did that to her mother. See where I'm coming from?

 

Anyway I've ranted enough, and I'm in no way saying anything disparaging. I know you want to get this published so I am trying my best to give you some constructive feedback that may help you when you take it to a publisher is all. Not saying I know everything, hell even I've been rejected, but if two heads are better than one then I'm more than happy to help you where I can. Even if you completely ignore everything I have to say at least you're getting feedback and I assume in posting in a public forum, that's exactly what you're after, right?

 

So overall good! Be proud, it's quite a world you've constructed and with so many readers / fans here am sure someday you'll see this dream to fruition. Good luck

[woodyloveslinkin]

Thankies ^^

 

Well I've concluded that I will do other versions of the prologue and post them, sound good?

[Ravynlee]

Sounds good. Be interested to see what you come up with ^^ Good luck.

[woodyloveslinkin]

Prologue

Los Angeles, a city that had always dominated the globe in no matter what affairs it touched on. But that soon changed as a grim shadow lurked over the globe as World War Three broke out. The stench of the maggot infested corpses that laid on the war torn battlefields, spreading across various countries. Politicians dictated the way people thought about the war, so there came along a solution. In the not near distant future after the war had eventually ended, the wounded who had survived were brought back to a land they never thought they would live to see.

Politicians were replaced by a single dictator and democracy had been replaced with a regime that was proving to be the starting of it all. Spyral, a global corporation now sung children’s lullabies for their parents and gave them the knowledge to sit around and do nothing. Spyral was now God and God was now Spyral.

Betray Spyral and you have committed the foulest of sins.

The dictator himself didn’t heed any attention to the likes of his people around him, as he stood in one of the hallways which had thatched the evilness into the corporation. The doors around the dictator and his associates, made out of the rarest of woods that was now known to Mankind, most of them being Huon Pine, the rarest of the endangered timbers around now in what was named the New World. They drank diamonds for water and they relished in grief for dessert, rumours had it. The rings on his fingers showed his power and control over the lands as did the collector items that were his beloved paintings that were watercolours and pastel shades of different colours.

“Welcome to the New World,” Jonathon smiled in his black suit, with his brown hair slicked over his head. Brad and Draven smiled eagerly agreeing with him, in their identical suits as to the one that Jonathon was wearing. Jonathon was in a happy mood as his wife of many years. Felicity had just given birth to their first child. Brad and Draven were Jonathon’s beloved friends and Draven was his successor, before now, as his heir had just been born. “Tell me honestly friends of mine, do you like this perfect world that we have worked on, day in and day out?” They both nodded without saying a word. Jonathon smiled. “Now I know you’re pulling my legs now.”

“It is great,” Draven coldly remarked, not getting over the wonderful news that he had just been replaced by a child whom was to take his place as heir to the most powerful corporation to exist in the New World.

“Have you seen your baby?” asked Brad, as Jonathon nodded. “Is it a girl or a boy? Have you named it yet?” Unlike Draven, Brad was excited for Jonathon and was bursting full of questions.

“No not yet, the news was just broken to me and I have to go and see Felicity in her chambers later on this evening,” answered Jonathon, smiling at the fact that he was now a father of a baby girl. “And your answer, Bradley, I have a baby girl now. And I’m still thinking about her name. I want it to be something traditional, something that is noble and has a strong name to it. Nothing too fancy…” Brad and Draven looked lost for a second and Jonathon picked up on the lost looks. “Input, maybe?”

“Elizabeth? Victoria?” Brad suggested, as he reflected back on his English history for a second or two. He remembered two names that were noble and had powerful historical connotations to them. Jonathon started to contemplate those two names. He frowned so it showed that his mind was thinking about Brad’s suggestion.

“Too fancy,” Draven remarked. “What if you name your baby girl, Sarah?”

“Why does that sound too bland and boring for my liking Draven?” asked Jonathon, crossing his arms. A couple of people passed them, as they were standing in the new furnished hallway that led to a dozen rooms and even more hallways that made the Spyral building look like a labyrinth deliberately designed to confuse intruders and to trap them. The only people who knew them inside out where the people that worked inside of the walls of the corporation. “What connotation that I am obviously missing does it have?”

“It’s a biblical reference to the Old Testament, Sarah was the wife of Abraham,” Draven recalled, as Jonathon shook his head. “What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s too religious, and if people find out that I’ve named my daughter after religious icons, we’re going to have the Jews back in here, seriously, I got rid of religion for a reason,” Jonathon explained to Draven. “Imagine their greasy little hands wanting to touch my daughter, because she’s the ruler of the world and has a Jewish name. I’m not going to let that happen to my daughter. But I do like the sound of Victoria for her.”

“Technically, if you derive the name properly it has Hebrew origins, not exactly Jewish, I think you should at least consider the name Sarah for her name,” Draven continued to push the name forward with Jonathon. But he knew if he pushed it too much he would be, under the New World orders, he would be exiled for questioning Jonathon’s supremacy. “It means princess anyway, and isn’t she just that in this world? I would think so, her being the daughter of the man who is practically king now.” Jonathon smirked at Draven’s remark, as Brad rolled his eyes at Draven. Brad knew Draven was annoyed, just by the way he acted, and the tone that he gave Jonathon. Brad knew Draven too well, and Brad had already started to fear for Jonathon’s daughter’s safety, knowing that Draven was meant to be the heir if Felicity didn’t produce an heir for Jonathon.

“I see where you are coming from,” Jonathon said, as he was still deep in thought about names for his first child. “Sarah…nothing fancy, but I still like the name Victoria for her.”

“Have you asked Felicity to what she wants to call her daughter?” asked Brad. Jonathon nodded. “And what did she request for her daughter to be called?”

“Any name that I chose for her, she said she could not chose,” Jonathon answered as he laughed at something that Felicity had said something before. “I remember her saying when she first found out that now she had a whole nine months to think about names. She said there were so many that she liked but she couldn’t choose.”

“Sarah sounds like a noble name,” Brad agreed.

“And so does Victoria,” added Jonathon.

“Victoria has been overused in Old World Hollywood, wasn’t she married to a football star in England?” asked Draven, as he realised that Brad had teamed up with him to convince Jonathon to choose Sarah. Brad chuckled as he realised who Draven was talking about as Jonathon ignored the comment. “So it’s settled, you are going to tell Felicity that she’s going to be called Sarah?”

“Yes, Sarah, my little princess,” muttered Jonathon. “Well, my dearly beloved associates, both Bradley and Draven, I have to depart now, but before you go, I wish to speak to you, Bradley alone.” Jonathon looked to Draven to leave. Draven gave his farewell to Jonathon as he left the discussion with his head bowed down, trying to restrain his anger and frustration. Jonathon followed Draven with his eyes, making sure that Draven was out of reach so he couldn’t hear the conversation that he was about to converse with Brad about. Despite how faithful and devoted Draven was to Jonathon, Jonathon still had his suspicions about him. It was another reason why Jonathon was glad to have Sarah come into his life now, so he didn’t feel bad about betraying a good friend so easily. Jonathon looked back to Brad, but he kept his voice down. “Now I have a proposition for you Bradley. I have been thinking about this ever since I found out that Felicity was carrying our first-born. But I have a positive feeling that things won’t go so smoothly in the future with Spyral.”

“Don’t say that, we’ve had a lot of faith in building this corporation to the skies up above and we are beyond the heavens, Jonathon, don’t doubt yourself, you are the most powerful man alive right now,” Brad tried to tell Jonathon, but Jonathon shook his head.

“I have to think of such things right now Bradley,” Jonathon told Brad. “It is not the most positive and enlightening conversation topic, but it has to be said. If I somewhat perish and Felicity is not there to take care of Spyral and of Sarah, I daresay, I am going to entrust you with Sarah. You have to make sure she is always safe from any uprising; you will guide her through life if we are to depart from this life tomorrow, only an example, not literally. You are to show her the ways of Spyral, and you are to raise her like as if you were me, her father. I wish I was, but I am not immortal, no one is.”

“So, I play like a godfather role to her?” asked Brad. Jonathon nodded. “I will do my best if you are to depart this life. You’re one of few people I wish were immortal. You have done this world great, and the New World has hardly begun. How long has it been now, since the starting of the New World?”

“Four years from today,” answered Jonathon, giving Brad a backslapping hug. They let go of each other. “Now I must depart. I have a feeling in the back of my head that Felicity is eagerly awaiting for the name of our daughter and I am eager to hold her in my arms for the first time.”

“Can I come with you to see your daughter?” asked Brad. “Or do you just want to be left alone? I can always come back later and see her cute smile, if that’s what you want.”

“You can come along,” answered Jonathon, as he turned around and started to walk off. Brad walked by his side as they walked down at the hallway together. “How is Project Narcissi Extraction coming along?”

“It’s still in its early days, so far, it’s going great,” answered Brad, giving Jonathon a smile. “It was a great idea, and I dare say, I have a feeling that it is coming along just so well, it makes me want to cry at times.” Jonathon laughed. “Really, not joking either, I mean, would I lie to you, Jonathon?”

“I know you will not,” answered Jonathon.

It was about another fifteen minutes until Jonathon and Brad reached Felicity’s chamber’s doors. Jonathon knocked on the wooden doors, which were shut and Jonathon didn’t want to intrude on the mother with her new baby daughter. Someone answered the door, who was Rachel, Felicity’s maid. She didn’t wear anything that would tell anyone she was a maid, she wore a simple light yellow dress that fell to her ankles showing off her simple brown sandals.

“Yes, Jonathon, are you here to see your new baby girl?” asked Rachel, as Jonathon nodded. She saw Brad and smiled. “Bradley however cannot come in just yet. Felicity requests not to be an item for display just yet. It was a painful process after all.”

“Nine hours I recall,” Jonathon smirked, as Rachel let him in and Brad stood outside, with his hands in the pockets of his pants. Rachel left the room, closing the door behind her. Jonathon looked around the room where Felicity held what seemed to be a bundle of blankets in her arms and sat up straight in her bed. “Hey sugar. Looks like I have two sugars now.” Felicity smiled as Jonathon walked across the room and sat on her chamber’s bed. He lent over and gave her a peck on the forehead. He looked down at the small infant and looked back to Felicity.

“She has your eyes and she has my face,” his wife said to him, looking from her husband to her new bundle of joy. “She’s gorgeous.”

“Just like her mother,” complimented Jonathon.

“Have you given her a name?” asked Felicity. Felicity had the dark haired characteristics in which the child in her arms had obviously inherited from her, as there were wisps of dark hair lingering around on her head, while the child had inherited Jonathon’s sparkling deep sapphire eyes. Jonathon nodded with a smile still on his face. “What is it?”

“Sarah,” answered Jonathon, as Felicity nodded in agreement. “It means princess and that is what you have there in your arms right now, a princess. Can I hold her and show Bradley outside? You know him; he is over the moon about Sarah’s birth.” Felicity didn’t object as Brad was her friend as well. She passed the small child that laid awake, silently looking around at the New World around her to Felicity and rested her arms on her lap. It was the first time that she had let go of the child ever since being handed her daughter. Jonathon carried the child in his arms, as he looked down at her and stared at her in amazement how much she looked like him. She didn’t stir, she didn’t do anything as she was wrapped in the pink blankets, and she was just still and silent. He carefully opened the door of his wife’s chambers and Brad stood there out in the hallway talking to Rachel about various things.

Brad’s attention was quickly diverted to the child that was in Jonathon’s arms. Brad felt so happy for Jonathon as he quickly realised that if Sarah’s parents died, Brad would have to treat her like as if she was his own daughter, because of the pledge he had given to Jonathon.

“Isn’t she cute?” asked Brad, as he lent over and saw the new child of theirs. “She looks, oh my, she looks like you so much, Jonathon.” Brad looked back to Jonathon. “What did Felicity say about the name?”

“She loved it, Bradley,” answered Jonathon.

“What’s the new baby’s name?” asked Rachel, still standing there.

“Sarah,” answered Jonathon, as Brad ranted on about the new child. Ten minutes later, the child had fallen asleep while Brad was busy ranting on about the child. “She has to get some sleep now.”

“I understand completely, wow, I’m still not over the fact of how much she looks like you,” Brad said, as Rachel and Brad said goodnight to the child.

Jonathon smiled, as he went back into the chambers and Rachel pulled the doors shut, for privacy reasons. Jonathon went over to the crib, after giving the child back to Felicity for her to say her goodnights to the child. The crib had been thatched with strips of cane and reed, placed the sleeping child inside the soft lining of it. He looked at the sleeping child.

“Goodnight my princess, sweet dreams,” he whispered to his heir. He gave his princess one last smiled and walked away, leaving the child to sleep. He walked over to his wife and smiled. Felicity with her dark hair, olive skin and olive eyes was a woman who stood proud and strong, just like her husband. They had a short conversation which ended with Felicity requesting to get some rest. Jonathon nodded and left the room, with Rachel and Bradley departing the room first, as Jonathon closed the rare timber doors of her chambers. He turned around and faced the two Spyralans.

“Disturb her and you both will be exiled,” warned Jonathon, bluntly, making sure that he both got nods of agreement from each one. Jonathon looked to Rachel. “I wish to speak to you alone. Bradley, please excuse us.” Brad nodded and left the scene as he passed various paintings and highly decorated ornaments on the wall. “Come and follow me, Rachel, for I have great matters to discuss with you.”

“Why me, dare I ask?” asked Rachel, with her long brown hair draping down to her waist. “I am Felicity’s associate, not yours.”

“Do not question me,” snarled Jonathon, as he grabbed her arm and forcefully made her walk with him through the hallway with him. “My authority is unquestionable, have you not learnt this?” Rachel was about to speak, but she was cut off. She was a woman of short stature and looked like a Tolkien character next to the tall ruler that was forcefully leading her down the hallway. “Felicity has not asked you of this, for she is not in any physical state to ask this, but she has asked you to do volunteer yourself to do something, that is for the good of this New World that I have perfectly built from the ruins of the Third World War.”

“What has she asked of me?” asked Rachel. Rachel had never liked Jonathon and had even advised for Felicity to not marry him. There were few times that Felicity’s heart got in front of her sensibility, and it had to be one of the times where Felicity ignored Rachel’s advice. Just say Jonathon’s hands got a bit out of hand one time before the New World had started, before Jonathon had gotten engaged to Felicity. To avoid exile or the worse outcome, instant death, she kept quiet about everything. She was confused as Felicity hadn’t mentioned anything about what she wanted to ask of her maid.

“You are an Old Worlder contaminated by the likes of those memories, such as the Third World War and the Old World, do I stand to be corrected?” asked Jonathon, still dragging Rachel down forcefully done the decked out hallways of Spyral, as people passed by and didn’t question why Jonathon was gripping Rachel’s arm so tightly that it made her cringe. Jonathon looked to Rachel and she nodded. “Precisely. Show your dedication to Spyral.”

“What’s going to happen?” asked Rachel, a bit unsure why the rush was needed so urgently. “I don’t understand.” Jonathon stopped suddenly as he turned around and faced her. “What’s the matter?” Jonathon frowned at her, giving a scared look back at him. “Please don’t hurt me I haven’t done anything wrong.” There was just silence as Rachel’s bottom lip started to quiver in fear as she thought of what was going to happen to her. She was going to be experimented on and all she could do is watch Jonathon taunt her with his silence. Silence was Jonathon’s friend in the worse of times. “Please, don’t…” She trailed off in her sentence, as Jonathon sensed that there was a third party present. He turned around to see Draven, with his blonde hair slicked back. He stood with papers in his hands and didn’t say a word. He handed them to Jonathon, as Rachel had started to think the worse. Was Draven in on this as well? Jonathon nodded as his eyes ran across the lines of the paper that had scribble written on it. Suddenly, Draven grabbed Rachel’s arm and started to drag her away. “No! Please don’t!” Her screams went unnoticed as she tried to reach out to Jonathon who was quickly far and then farer away from her. The tips of her fingers were useless as she begged more and more not to have anything done to her. Out of all the Old Worlders to work at Spyral, why did it have to be her? She kept asking herself through tears.

“Stop your squealing, seriously, woman,” ordered Draven, only following orders of what he had been given as he gripped her arm even tighter, making her cringe even more. “You’re not going to get very far.”

“Draven, please, as a friend, why are you letting them do this to me? Aren’t I entitled to an answer from at least someone?” asked Rachel, still confused as ever. The main reason why Rachel was so fearful because there had been deaths in this experiment and it was as though, it was a way to get rid of her, for whatever reason. She had done nothing wrong to them; she had only been trying to do what was for the best of Spyral and of course, the best of Felicity.

“Because, I’m only following orders,” answered Draven, smirking. Draven stopped suddenly, as Rachel looked around to see what was happening. He opened a door which had bright white light in it, and threw Rachel inside. She was thrown that hard that she landed on her back. But she got straight back up and ran up to the now shut door, as she struggled to see what was around her because of the blinding light. Draven was on the other side still waiting for the banging and screaming to start, just like the others did when they were thrown into this cell. It only took her a couple of seconds to fulfil Draven’s expectation.

“Please! Draven! Let me go!” she screamed as she started to bang against the door.

“Nope,” replied Draven, softly as he smirked yet again. He had a feeling now that since he just did Jonathon a favour, Jonathon would now do him a favour by reinstating him as the proper heir to Spyral’s throne. “Keep trying.”

It was another ten minutes or so until Rachel gave up, as she slumped to the floor while still against the door. Draven had gone and now she was stuck in this cell, ready to be experimented on. She knew the procedure too well, they would hold her in this overly bright lighted room for a day or two, and then they would sedate her, so when she wakes up she wouldn’t remember her family. She didn’t have a family really, she lived with her younger sister Joanna, and her parents, Harvey and Ravyn, but she still felt like she had something to lose.

The next twenty-four hours for Rachel were the worst as she could only see syringes, people in white coats surrounding her, telling her to keep still and oddly enough, Felicity, standing beside Rachel telling her what she was doing was for the good of Mankind. Rachel had shed so many tears in the process, that she unknowingly grabbed hold of syringe in Felicity’s hand and stabbed her. Screaming and panic had struck Spyral.

The last thing that Rachel recalled out of that moment was seeing a group of white men clad in white coats chasing after her, as she pushed open the highly decorated front doors of Spyral, barefooted and still in her yellow maid dress that had been torn in several spots, and ran like there was no tomorrow.