Cows With Guns

[woodyloveslinkin]

Okay so I was browsing for something my dad. It was a song called "Cows with Guns". My father has a crude/lame sense of humour at times. But tell me what you think of this -

 

Fat and docile, big and dumb

They look so stupid, they aren't much fun

Cows aren't fun

 

They eat to grow, grow to die

Die to be et at the hamburger fry

Cows well done

 

Nobody thunk it, nobody knew

No one imagined the great cow guru

Cows are one

 

He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal

He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal

Cow Tse Tongue

 

He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred

He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd

Cow doldrums

 

He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die

Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high

Bad cow pun

 

But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate

Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate

Cows are bummed

 

He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy

No one suspected he was packing an Uzi

Cows with guns

 

They came with a needle to stick in his thigh

He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye

Cow well hung

 

Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door

Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor

Run cows run!

 

He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay

We are free roving bovines, we run free today

 

We will fight for bovine freedom

And hold our large heads high

We will run free with the Buffalo, or die

Cows with guns

 

They crashed the gate in a great stampede

Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed

Cows have fun

 

Sixty police cars were piled in a heap

Covered in cow pies, covered up deep

Much cow dung

 

Black smoke rising, darkening the day

Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way

 

We will fight for bovine freedom

And hold our large heads high

We will run free with the Buffalo, or die

Cows with guns

 

The President said "enough is enough

 

These uppity cattle, its time to get tough"

Cow dung flung

 

The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief

Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef

Cows on buns

 

The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed

They mooed their last moos,

they chewed their last hay

Cows out gunned

 

The order was given to turn cows to whoppers

Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers

But on the horizon surrounding the shoppers

 

Came the deafening roar of chickens in choppers

 

We will fight for bovine freedom

And hold our large heads high

We will run free with the Buffalo, or die

Cows with guns

[LPNailz]

That's hilarious! I'm sending that to everyone I know, if it's ok.

[woodyloveslinkin]

Yeah go nuts.

[Jonesy]

That was great haha, I enjoyed reading it.

=)

 

I loved this bit:

 

'Sixty police cars were piled in a heap

Covered in cow pies, covered up deep

Much cow dung.'

[woodyloveslinkin]

I have the song on mp3 file if any of you guys want it, I can either send it via msn or pm.

[Peterdea]

lol my mate Scott made an animation video to this. Pretty funny.

[Ravynlee]

I have to admit I actually loved this song when it first came out (way back in the day), even if the radio stations flogged it to death, but yeah, it's one of those 'feel good' songs that always make me smile when I hear it.

Good stuff.