Komrade Vostok Hazard Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 It never fails. Whenever various dipshits get some new gadget or some software for their PC, they turn it on/install it, and then find out they don't know anything about it so they run to others, such as myself, and ask "how I do bla bla bla?" GUESS WHAT ASSHOLE! I DON'T FUCKING KNOW! WHY THE HELL ARE PEOPLE ASKING ME FOR TECH SUPPORT!? Yea sure I know what I need to know to survive in the 21th century, but THAT'S ALL I KNOW AND I'VE STILL GOT ABOUT A HUNDRED YEARS TO GO BEFORE EVEN BEING REMOTELY CLOSE TO BEING AN EXPERT ON THE SUBJECT. My guess is that it's the whole "omg someone under 40 years old! They must know everything about software, computers and electronics!" idea that a lot of COMPLETELY MISGUIDED FUCKING MORONS seem to have. And then if I do happen to know a bit about ther techno-headaches, I explain it to them -- often using various PROPER terms that apply to computers/internet/software/electronics they end up looking at me as if I just spoke to them in Swahili and then they tell me to "repeat that in english" MOTHER FUCK! If you get baffled when people use terms that apply to the aforementioned, If you don't know how to use a program or a fucking computer, STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ALL COMPUTERS AND OTHER ELECTRONIC DEVICES Quote All bullshit, No Business.
Msixty Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 It never fails. Whenever various dipshits get some new gadget or some software for their PC, they turn it on/install it, and then find out they don't know anything about it so they run to others, such as myself, and ask "how I do bla bla bla?" GUESS WHAT ASSHOLE! I DON'T FUCKING KNOW! WHY THE HELL ARE PEOPLE ASKING ME FOR TECH SUPPORT!? Yea sure I know what I need to know to survive in the 21th century, but THAT'S ALL I KNOW AND I'VE STILL GOT ABOUT A HUNDRED YEARS TO GO BEFORE EVEN BEING REMOTELY CLOSE TO BEING AN EXPERT ON THE SUBJECT. My guess is that it's the whole "omg someone under 40 years old! They must know everything about software, computers and electronics!" idea that a lot of COMPLETELY MISGUIDED FUCKING MORONS seem to have. And then if I do happen to know a bit about ther techno-headaches, I explain it to them -- often using various PROPER terms that apply to computers/internet/software/electronics they end up looking at me as if I just spoke to them in Swahili and then they tell me to "repeat that in english" MOTHER FUCK! If you get baffled when people use terms that apply to the aforementioned, If you don't know how to use a program or a fucking computer, STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ALL COMPUTERS AND OTHER ELECTRONIC DEVICES I get the same crap, but i'll take someone who knows nothing and asks me for help over a fucking L337 (leet) motherfucker any day "IS U NoOb jOo' DoN nO hOw tO Doo Dat!!!!11111eleven rOfL i R L337 An jOo' R NoOb!!!!11111!!1!!!!11 lOloLolLOol" THAT shit pisses me off but yeah, i guess it's almost as bad when people look at you like an idiot when you ask them if they have a USB 2.0 port for your jump drive... not as hard on the eyes though. Quote Your stupidity is My weapon WARNING! my mood and mental state are strongly influenced by music and T.V./movies..... i may seem the slightest bit insane.. just don't let me watch my favorite show and or listen to my music and it will all be alright.
Komrade Vostok Hazard Posted February 15, 2007 Author Posted February 15, 2007 but yeah, i guess it's almost as bad when people look at you like an idiot when you ask them if they have a USB 2.0 port for your jump drive... not as hard on the eyes though. what kind of murf would drop 60-100 clams for a jump drive if they didn't know whether they had a spot to plug it in Quote All bullshit, No Business.
Msixty Posted February 15, 2007 Posted February 15, 2007 what kind of murf would drop 60-100 clams for a jump drive if they didn't know whether they had a spot to plug it in i dunno, a real fucking dipshit, i on the other hand spent $50 on a 1 gig jump drive/MP3 player and was asking someone who lives 200 miles from my home if they have a USB or preferably USB 2.0 so i can get some music from them while i was visiting. Quote Your stupidity is My weapon WARNING! my mood and mental state are strongly influenced by music and T.V./movies..... i may seem the slightest bit insane.. just don't let me watch my favorite show and or listen to my music and it will all be alright.
eddo Posted February 15, 2007 Posted February 15, 2007 what kind of murf would drop 60-100 clams for a jump drive if they didn't know whether they had a spot to plug it in What kind of schmuck calls someone a "murf"? Quote I'm trusted by more women.
snafu Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 I work on a lot of computers for friends. It’s a hobby. I know there’s better hobbies out there. But it never ceases to amaze me that for the most part all they gotta do is read the fucking directions. I always tell them, every program has a help file. LEARN HOW TO READ ONE! PS: Funny just as I’m writing this someone brings me a camera. They tell me it doesn’t work. TRY PLUGING THE FUCKING THING IN AND CHARGE THE FUCKIN BATTERY! Quote "You can't stop insane people from doing insane things by passing insane laws. That's just insane!" Penn & Teller NEVER FORGOTTEN
g73m Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 argh, i have this, i know someone. its ridiculous.... its the stupidest of things... my printer dont printer properly whats wrong with it? YOU HAVE TO REPLACE THE INK AFTER A WHILE DIPSHIT and this one gets on my nerves. can you pritn this form me, my pritners broke. No, i can tprint it for you, i pay for my ink, so why cant you pay for yours so your printer fucking works. If i was ever going to ask you to print something for me, or do me a favour, then fair does... but what can you help me with? fuck all. Quote
eddo Posted February 27, 2007 Posted February 27, 2007 I hate when my pritners breaks Quote I'm trusted by more women.
RoyalOrleans Posted March 3, 2007 Posted March 3, 2007 What kind of schmuck calls someone a "murf"? What kind of shitheel calls a murf a shmuck? 1 Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
snafu Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 What kind of schmuck calls someone a "murf"? What kind of shitheel calls a murf a shmuck? What kind of dweeeb calls a schmuck a shitheel or a murf? Quote "You can't stop insane people from doing insane things by passing insane laws. That's just insane!" Penn & Teller NEVER FORGOTTEN
Komrade Vostok Hazard Posted March 31, 2007 Author Posted March 31, 2007 who uses the word "dweeb" anymore? This was an insult used by elementary school kids about 15-50 years ago. and basically a shitheel, schmuck and a murf are the same thing... Quote All bullshit, No Business.
snafu Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 who uses the word "dweeb" anymore? This was an insult used by elementary school kids about 15-50 years ago. and basically a shitheel, schmuck and a murf are the same thing... A dweeb is someone who has no clue. I don't have the foggiest idea what a shitheel is. A shmuck is as an idiot or easy target. Wasn’t a murf a little blue cartoon? No that was a smurf. The mix of a shmuck and a murf I guess. And I'm old school you dweeb.. Quote "You can't stop insane people from doing insane things by passing insane laws. That's just insane!" Penn & Teller NEVER FORGOTTEN
RoyalOrleans Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 I don't have the foggiest idea what a shitheel is. A lazy person. Someone who wouldn't expend the energy to wipe the shit they stepped in off their shoes. Someone who would shit in bed and kick it out with their feet. Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
Lethalfind Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 My laptop came with not only a warranty but tech support and remote assistance if I want it... When I want a real laugh about tech support stories, I ask my brother, he used to work for an ISP...disc drive as a cup holder...etc. Quote I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
Komrade Vostok Hazard Posted April 2, 2007 Author Posted April 2, 2007 My laptop came with not only a warranty but tech support and remote assistance if I want it... When I want a real laugh about tech support stories, I ask my brother, he used to work for an ISP...disc drive as a cup holder...etc. I've seen one of those weird email fowards with a story like that a few years back. It ended with "return the computer and tell them you're stupid to own a computer" or some shit like that Quote All bullshit, No Business.
Lethalfind Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 Why isn't my computer working?? Is it plugged in? NO !!! Quote I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
RegisteredAndEducated Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 how about the id10t error... Look that one up... we used to tell idiot customers this all the time... customer: "what was the problem?" support: " it was an i-d-10-t error. They're very common, I'm just glad your issue is resolved" Customer: "well thanks!" hahaha... you n00bs don't know what an id10t error is do you??? You're not reading... Quote Intelligent people think... how ignorance must be bliss.... idiots have it so easy, it's not fair... to have to think... WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE AMONG THOSE FORTUNATE MASSES..... Hey, "Non-believers" I've just got one thing to say to ya... If you're right, then what difference does it make, it wont matter when we're dead anyway... But if I'm right... Well, hey... Ya better be right...
RoyalOrleans Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 how about the id10t error... Look that one up... we used to tell idiot customers this all the time... customer: "what was the problem?" support: " it was an i-d-10-t error. They're very common, I'm just glad your issue is resolved" Customer: "well thanks!" hahaha... you n00bs don't know what an id10t error is do you??? You're not reading... If I ever get that shit from my ISP tech support crew, I'll fly to India and hunt down that motherfucker. Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
RegisteredAndEducated Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 If I ever get that shit from my ISP tech support crew, I'll fly to India and hunt down that motherfucker. ROFL! Just a little warning! Fuckin Indians... I hated working for a company that had indians doing support for them too. They suck, and they are SO COCKY!!! "Hello my name is George Jefferson, how..." NO IT'S FUCKING NOT, SHUT THE FUCK UP! I had to, and still have to call the fuckers daily... sucks... Quote Intelligent people think... how ignorance must be bliss.... idiots have it so easy, it's not fair... to have to think... WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE AMONG THOSE FORTUNATE MASSES..... Hey, "Non-believers" I've just got one thing to say to ya... If you're right, then what difference does it make, it wont matter when we're dead anyway... But if I'm right... Well, hey... Ya better be right...
Lethalfind Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 That just pisses me off as well... I had to call Bellsouth to tell them my modem sucked ass, I got to tell a guy in the Phillipines ALL about it, of course he had to transfer me to someone in the states to make the BIG decision to send me a new modem... Quote I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
RoyalOrleans Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 That just pisses me off as well... I had to call Bellsouth to tell them my modem sucked ass, I got to tell a guy in the Phillipines ALL about it, of course he had to transfer me to someone in the states to make the BIG decision to send me a new modem... I keep getting Bill Johnson with a fucking Indian accent. Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
OmegaManiac Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 The cure all for all I.D.10.T. computer related issues is this....."Sir, or Ma'am, while the power cord is still plugged into the wall, I need you to get a cup of gasoline and place the end of the power cord that attaches to the back of your p.c. into the cup. This will erase any excess I.D.10.T. errors that may be causing you problems." "In fact if you watch the cup closely when you submerge the cord you can see the files being erased in [real time]." Works great for most electronics and small appliances. Quote
Komrade Vostok Hazard Posted June 3, 2007 Author Posted June 3, 2007 The cure all for all I.D.10.T. computer related issues is this....."Sir, or Ma'am, while the power cord is still plugged into the wall, I need you to get a cup of gasoline and place the end of the power cord that attaches to the back of your p.c. into the cup. This will erase any excess I.D.10.T. errors that may be causing you problems." "In fact if you watch the cup closely when you submerge the cord you can see the files being erased in [real time]." Works great for most electronics and small appliances. why not just pour the cup of gasoline on the offending electronic and then light a match? Quote All bullshit, No Business.
OmegaManiac Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 why not just pour the cup of gasoline on the offending electronic and then light a match? They may be retarded but they're not gullable. Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.