Fary tale gone wrong.....

[Msixty]

ORIGINAL VERSION: (the way life should be)

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house

and laying in supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool,

and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or

shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

 

MODERN VERSION:

 

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house

and laying in supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool

and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands

to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well-fed while others

are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper

next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with

food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a

country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries

when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house, where the

news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has

the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Al Gore exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten

rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on

the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act,"

retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to

hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay

his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation

suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of Federal judges

that Bill had appointed from a list of single parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the

ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the

ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it. The

ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug-related incident and the house, now

abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once

peaceful neighborhood.

 

God Bless America

 

I say, Kill all those lazy grasshoppers!

 

It's sad, but true...

[RegisteredAndEducated]

Wow... that's just like a grasshopper... Those lazy bastards... Figures that the Libs would jump in to "help them" (in wacko world 'help them' = 'supress them') just like they do here. It's a shame nobody else sees this.

[hugo]

Yep, socialism sucks.

[Msixty]

Wow... that's just like a grasshopper... Those lazy bastards... Figures that the Libs would jump in to "help them" (in wacko world 'help them' = 'supress them') just like they do here. It's a shame nobody else sees this.

 

It's not a grasshopper though, it's a sparkling wiggle

[Komrade Vostok Hazard]

Yep, socialism sucks.

 

Is it because we're a bunch of "sick" bastards who get our rocks off on the idea of killing bible thumpers and capitalists?

[Phantom]

Thank God I'm a welfare mom. If I had a job, this post would really piss me off.

[RoyalOrleans]

You can step on and squash a lazy grasshopper, but a lazy piece of shit welfare sucking minority is untouchable.