A cheet sheet for grammer retards.

[phreakwars]

How to type like the cool kids

(A cheat sheet by SlurpeeClock)

Your = Possessive second person article. e.g. "It's your kitty."

You're = Contraction for "you are." e.g. "You're stupid."

U = Absolutely unacceptable.

Ur = Absolutely unacceptable.

There = A place. e.g. "The kitty is over there."

Their = Possessive plural second person article. e.g. "They ran it over with their Hummer."

They're = Contraction for "they are." e.g."They're kitty murderers."

Then = Donates a time period. e.g. "First this, then that."

Than = Donates preference. e.g. "I'd rather this, than that."

Newb/ie = A new person.

n00b = Stop saying this.

Were = Plural of "was." e.g. "They were living human beings."

Wear = To display on one's appearance. "I wear the grammar fairy arm band with pride."

Where = Question of location. e.g. "Where you at?"

Lose = The opposite of win. e.g. "How did you lose to someone that ugly? How did you not win against a person lacking in beauty?"

Loose = The opposite of tight. e.g. "Hang loose."

Loser = Someone who's defining characteristic is a tendency to not win. e.g. "You lost to a winner. You are a loser."

Looser = Less tight. e.g. "No, no... Hang looser."

Retarded = A person who exhibits mental deficientcy. e.g. "tizz is retarded."

Retarted = NOT A FUCKING WORD

Because = Prefix to an explanation. e.g. "I think tizz is retarded because tizz is also insane."

Cause = Short for Because. Informal/ e.g. "tizz is insane cause she lost her mind."

Cuz = IF I CATCH YOU DOING THIS SO HELP ME GOD I WILL MUTILATE YOUR SCROTUM WITH A BROKEN JAR OF PICKLES.

? = NOT short for the word "question."

Uh, Er, Hmm, Mmm, etc. = Don't abuse this. It's a nice device to donate uncertainty, and if you type it out everytime you pause to think, you're an asshole.

etc. = Short for et cetera.

ect. = Short for electroconvulsive therapy.

No = Opposite of yes. e.g. "Guys do you like me? No."

Know = To understand something; retain familiarity with it. e.g. "I know you think I'm cool."

Now = Presently. e.g. "You were cool before. You aren't cool now."

 

Capitalize where appropriate except in cases of extreme understatement. Use common sense, here. If you're asking if we can teach you how to dance real slow, capitalize the first letter of the sentence, and any proper nouns. Capitalize the word "I," but not "a."

 

Use appropriate punctuation. I have a tendency to speak softly, so I have an aversion to exclamation point use, but some of you seem to be completely insane. Under the most extreme conditions, 3 exclamation points could be understood, but there's no reason to emphasize your passion with 3 lines of exclamation points. You don't want to look crazy, do you?

 

 

ALL CAPS is not okay unless you're funny. If you're at all self-conscious about being funny, you are not funny.

 

 

Run on sentences are not okay. However, if you're elaborating on a point, it's acceptable.

Here's a good long sentence:

The quick brown dog is jumping over the lazy fox, whom, earlier today, of course, had wore himself out chasing around the family of rabbits from an indecernable orgin; possibly of deep southern decent.

Here's a bad long sentence:

The quick brown fox is jumping over the lazy dog and he'll keep running he'll go running for a while he won't ever stop running until he reaches a good place to stop running where he'll stop running and then he won't be running any more. <--classic tizz

 

Typos are passable. Everyone makes them, and there's no automated spell check. But there's no excuse for being a lazy asshole.

I'm trying to save you from yourselves. If you type like an idiot, everyone will assume you are one.

I know it's just the internet, but you're going to have to go the extra mile and not be retarded if you want equal footing.

 

Likewise, if you're singing for the King and Queen, in a coat you borrowed from James Dean, you might also want to capitalize.

 

Please print this for future reference..

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[Lethalfind]

here, here...

I have found myself hopelessly reliant on spell check for some very simple words. I have an issue of turning around vowels when they are next to each other. My English teacher would be annoyed if he saw my writing here.

[Outlaw2747]

I agree with all that, especially posting on here. I kinda like the use of n00b though. But that is more of gamer talk than forum posting. I am guilty of using it. But my biggest pet peeve is run-on sentences. It looks like total ass.

[Kryptonite Man]

You can see why I get really annoyed by the horrible spelling and horrid grammar by these illiterate morons on all of the boards. My eighth grade English teacher would be appalled and angered by the utter stupidity displayed by these fools.

[phreakwars]

I have to admit, I am guilty of some of these crimes myself. Especially They're Their and There, any other mistakes I make, are probably on purpose to shorthand my writing a bit. But I do use a spell check (google toolbar) before posting so I don't come out looking 100% retarded.

 

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[ToriAllen]

I have to admit, I am guilty of some of these crimes myself. Especially They're Their and There, any other mistakes I make, are probably on purpose to shorthand my writing a bit.

Yeah, that 'there, their, they're' problem has gotten on my nerves sense you started posting, but I contained myself and let it slide. See I can control myself

[fullauto]

Ur not v3rry funny although U think you R with all dat smart talkin and all we should hav a mutiny or smtn just 2 make you not feel like run on sentences r all dat bad yo!

 

 

What?! What just happend?! MOM? ANYONE?

[phreakwars]

Ur not v3rry funny although U think you R with all dat smart talkin and all we should hav a mutiny or smtn just 2 make you not feel like run on sentences r all dat bad yo!

 

 

What?! What just happend?! MOM? ANYONE?

tizz, quit hacking fullauto's account.

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[eisanbt]

I personally don't get in a tizzy if somebody doesn't use proper grammer or misuses contractions and the like, so long as I understand the point of what they're saying its all good by me.

[Vortex]

Uh oh.....

 

I have a tendency to use the word....cuz. Plus when im online i tend to never use the ' pretty much ever.

 

Im in trouble now, arent i. (see typed that and looked at it missed 2 ' and didnt capitalize my I)

 

and for some reason i seem to be stuck in the habit of my dramatic pause thing.

 

................

 

not sure where it started or how but i think it got it from my bulliten board days, the days of a 13 line BBS system.

 

 

On a good note google can work as a spellcheck. i use it all the time when i type something that doesnt look right!

[phreakwars]

BTW, there IS a version of the google toolbar for FIREFOX/Mozilla users too:

 

http://toolbar.google.com/firefox/

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[Komrade Vostok Hazard]

I h8 da N3TSp33K

[Anna Perenna]

Re: A cheet sheet for grammer retards.

 

So long as your grammar is in working order, never mind the spelling?

[phreakwars]

Re: A cheet sheet for grammer retards.

 

So long as your grammar is in working order, never mind the spelling?

I was wondering how long it would take someone to notice that.

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[tizz]

tizz, quit hacking fullauto's account.

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Hey that ain't me. I don't use the teeny bopper hip crap (I can't even freaking read it!!!!!!!) It took months before I even figured out ROFLMFAO.

[terry_29_99]

I think that it's ironic that the word Cheet should be spelled C-H-E-A-T. Other than that,... I agree.

 

Hooaahh

[Outlaw2747]

I was wondering how long it would take someone to notice that.

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I been noticed the irony of your title. Though I am sure quite a few people hesisited to call you out on it before they unfucked themselves.