How Will the Nick and Jessica Split Affect You?

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Plastic or not, Jessica Simpson is still very do-able.

 

Her Daisy Duke accent does it for me.

[tiredofwhiners]

I hope she calls me. I wouldn't want to be with her every day like a wife, but would sure nail the hell out of her part time.

[Vander]

I

[tiredofwhiners]

So what your saying is...You can dress up a retard, but underneath it's still a retard?

[RoyalOrleans]

I’ve seen better. She is too fake. Trash in a pretty dress with fake boobs is still trash. She is even below my standards for a one night stand.

 

Now, Jessica Alba…

 

Let's contemplate an "if"...

 

If Jessica Simpson were to show up at your doorstep and begged you for a taste of your manmeat, you wouldn't hit it? I would. No fucking doubt.

 

I know shit about this chick (ie what she sings, etc) the one thing I do know is, her breasts are real. According to her father's own words in a Playboy interview. See... Playboy does have some great, informative articles.

 

Is there suddenly a standard for one night stands? If so, I missed that article. I mean, that's what is so fucking cool about a one night stand, right? You know what you did, she knows what she did; yet no word is spoken about it pending a degree of standard.

 

Example 1] I'd most certainly nail Jessica Simpson and I'd nail her ugly little sister, too. I would brag about the Jessica Simpson lay and keep my mouth shut about porking her sister. Example 2] (To a buddy) "Last night I porked Louise from Accounting. Yea... don't say anything.".

 

Jessica Alba? I'd pop her in the butthole.

[RoyalOrleans]

I hope she calls me. I wouldn't want to be with her every day like a wife, but would sure nail the hell out of her part time.

 

That is the point I'm laboring to make. One night stands should not have a standard, because it is merely a flash in the pants and is over before it begins. No relationship other than you know each others first name.

[Vander]

So what your saying is...You can dress up a retard, but underneath it's still a retard?

Exactly.

 

 

 

 

Damn letter minimum.

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I

[Vander]

Let's contemplate an "if"...

 

If Jessica Simpson were to show up at your doorstep and begged you for a taste of your manmeat, you wouldn't hit it? I would. No fucking doubt.

 

I know shit about this chick (ie what she sings, etc) the one thing I do know is, her breasts are real. According to her father's own words in a Playboy interview. See... Playboy does have some great, informative articles.

 

Is there suddenly a standard for one night stands? If so, I missed that article. I mean, that's what is so fucking cool about a one night stand, right? You know what you did, she knows what she did; yet no word is spoken about it pending a degree of standard.

 

Example 1] I'd most certainly nail Jessica Simpson and I'd nail her ugly little sister, too. I would brag about the Jessica Simpson lay and keep my mouth shut about porking her sister. Example 2] (To a buddy) "Last night I porked Louise from Accounting. Yea... don't say anything.".

 

Jessica Alba? I'd pop her in the butthole.

Yeah, the package is nice. I just think it would be a whole hell of a lot more trouble than it would be worth. She is just fucking annoying to me. I would have to tape her mouth shut and try to push all of the stupid things I have heard her say at award shows and on the news out of my mind.

I try to avoid any girl that shows up unexpectedly at my door wanting sex. That behavior reeks of stalker or hooker, and I'm not a big fan of either.

I have standards for one night stands and skanky falls below the bar. Honestly, I haven

[RoyalOrleans]

I try to avoid any girl that shows up unexpectedly at my door wanting sex. That behavior reeks of stalker or hooker, and I'm not a big fan of either.

 

Don't flatter yourself, tiger.

 

I have standards for one night stands and skanky falls below the bar. Honestly, I haven

[Vander]

Don't flatter yourself, tiger.

You're right. I apologize. Its only happened three or four times.

 

Flings are nice, but I find most of my bevy of beauties to be a little too clingy. If I could have at least three one night stands a week, I'd be just fine.

We have an understanding. There is no confusion or hurt feelings.

 

Both hotties to a greater extent. I'd leave my front door open in the anticipation of Sofia Vergara, Eva Mendez, or Eva Longoria.

I can agree with Eva Longoria.

[ToriAllen]

I've come to the conclusion that all of the men on this website are just nasty. One night stands? Hookers on standby? Is it just a girl thing to think about disease and consequences? Maybe it is just a girl thing to think...

[RoyalOrleans]

I've come to the conclusion that all of the men on this website are just nasty. One night stands? Hookers on standby? Is it just a girl thing to think about disease and consequences? Maybe it is just a girl thing to think...

 

You bring up an interesting point, Tori. It's at the peak of your scalp, but it is an interesting point.

 

Wrap that sonofabitch up and the worries seem to fly away. I do have one standard that seeps into all aspects of getting some leg; no visible scars, bumps, blisters, or tats.

[ToriAllen]

Wrap that sonofabitch up and the worries seem to fly away.

My dear, you do realize that condoms are only 96% effective against sperm when used correctly, right? Considering the AIDS virus is about 100 times smaller that sperm, I really wouldn't want to take that chance. I suppose the risks are greater for a female than a male. More of a chance that something will leak out than get in, but still...Russian Roulette.

[RoyalOrleans]

My dear, you do realize that condoms are only 96% effective against sperm when used correctly, right? Considering the AIDS virus is about 100 times smaller that sperm, I really wouldn't want to take that chance. I suppose the risks are greater for a female than a male. More of a chance that something will leak out than get in, but still...Russian Roulette.

 

Well we all have to die of something... I might as well die doing something I enjoy and good at.

[Lethalfind]

I'm with Tori on this one. If some bastard gives me AIDS and I can track his shit down, he will die at my hands...pure and simple.

 

I have to be honest, I have never had a one night stand. Its just not something that interests me.

 

I know how ineffective condoms are, I have a child that I have raised so far on my own that reminds me. Even if I could I would not go back and change having her but I also would not put myself in the same position again and make life even harder for her and I. Therefore I am VERY careful about who I choose to sleep with.

 

If could just nail someone for the fun of it, I have to say that Keith Urban makes me fuckin pant. Clive Owen, makes me wet...Pierce Brosnan may be getting on a bit but he can keep his geritol by my bed anytime.

[RoyalOrleans]

Pierce Brosnan may be getting on a bit but he can keep his geritol by my bed anytime.

 

Pierce Brosnan makes my anus quiver.

[Lethalfind]

Pierce Brosnan makes my anus quiver.

 

I just have to ask...is that a good thing or a bad thing???

 

You know he is Irish, I have seen him in a couple of movies where he speaks with his native brogue and its a thing of beauty.

[RoyalOrleans]

I just have to ask...is that a good thing or a bad thing???

 

You know he is Irish, I have seen him in a couple of movies where he speaks with his native brogue and its a thing of beauty.

 

Pierce Brosnan is the fucking man. Too bad he's not playing Bond any longer.

[Lethalfind]

Pierce Brosnan is the fucking man. Too bad he's not playing Bond any longer.

 

As far as I am concerned, he IS Bond.

This new twat they have chosen is not in the same class by far. He's ugly and his face has that underfed, pinched look that alot of Englishmen have.

I think the best Bonds have been Brosnan and Connery second, Neither of them are English, funny how that is.

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Connery was the best bondie in my book. Remember George Lazenby? An Aussie 007 from way back.

 

 

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[RoyalOrleans]

Connery was the best bondie in my book. Remember George Lazenby? An Aussie 007 from way back.

 

He did On Her Majesty's Secret Service, a one shot wonder. Not a bad Bond film though.

 

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[builder]

He did On Her Majesty's Secret Service, a one shot wonder. Not a bad Bond film though.

 

I enjoy all the 007 movies, but they hit a low point when Roger Moore played the role. Think Octopussy. He was lame to the max. He couldn't punch his way out of a post office.

 

Fucking crapola.

[ToriAllen]

I think the best Bonds have been Brosnan and Connery second, Neither of them are English, funny how that is.

I think everyone feels Connery and Brosnan made the best Bonds.

My list of hotties definitely includes Brosnan. Dark hair and dark brown or blue eyes really get me. I find a lot of the actors who play Native Americans to be attractive.

 

On a side note, has anyone seen the Saturday Night Live skit with Bond going to the Heath Clinic? That was hilarious.

[RoyalOrleans]

I enjoy all the 007 movies, but they hit a low point when Roger Moore played the role. Think Octopussy. He was lame to the max. He couldn't punch his way out of a post office.

 

Fucking crapola.

 

Roger Moore is a sissy-boy from London. Everyone knows that the real men of the British Isles are from Ireland and Scotland (ie My ancestry.).