For you single people, what are you looking for in a mate???

[Lethalfind]

I have a question, do you think that finding the right mate could actually be helped by having your list of needs written out. I mean you know how it is when you go to the grocery store without a list in hand, you always forget something and end up with other things you don't really need.

 

Could it be that for those of us who are single and had a few failures in our past, that taking the knowledge we have gained from these failures and organizing them into a list of what we are looking for would help us in our future endeavors?

 

Anyway, I thought it might be interesting to put my list on here, see if anyone else wants to do the same. We can benefit from each others knowledge and help each other out. Of course for those of you who are married, please chime in and share your experience of being married, either an unsuccessful marriage or a successful one.

 

I am twice divorced and have an 8 year old daughter, whose Father signed over his parental rights.

 

My #1 issue is that the man I marry be willing to accept Diane as his own. This is non-negotiable for me, we come as a pair or not at all.

 

I do not expect a man to support me nor will I ever do the supporting (again), I expect him to carry his own weight. I don't mind working, been doing that for some time anyway, I would get bored if I didn't.

 

This part may sound sexist of me but there are some things that need doing around the house that are for men to do. Of course now I have to do them all but if there is a man around the house I expect him to barbeque, take the trash out and either we pay someone to mow the lawn or he mows the lawn. When something needs fixing, either he does it or we pay someone to do it. This is an issue that many of you might take for granted but my ex had no clue how to fix anything except his fuckin computer...

 

I am not interested in someone who is just looking for regular lay and someone to clean his house...I want someone who is emotionally and physically engaged with me in such a way that we would feel incomplete without the other. I also expect him to be emotionally engaged with my daughter.

 

I am for better or worse a very outspoken person. I do try to temper this but that trait is still there. I find that people who do not share this find it jarring to be around me. I find it difficult to keep it under control all the time. Therefore I think its better if I have someone with a similar temperament.

 

I do not smoke and can't tolerate being around someone who does, this is also something non-negotiable.

 

I drink from time to time but don't keep anything at home. My daughter has never seen me drunk and in fact I have not been drunk since well before she was born 8 years ago. Someone who is going to be part of my life would have to have a similar relationship with alcohol. I learned this one the hard way and went with a guy for some time who was an alcoholic. Actually he got arrested (before we dated) for driving drunk and blamed everyone else.

 

I would LOVE to have another child but this is negotiable since I know alot of men my age already have a family and don't want to start another one. I also would not want to have another child and be financially strapped and cause more strain (then daily life) on a relationship.

 

Another big issue, I have yet too meet the man that his Mother liked me at all. I'm sure this is due to my outspoken nature and my unwillingness to deal with a man whose umbilical cord is still attached. I only sleep 2 to a bed, No Moms allowed. A man whose parents are dead would be ideal.

 

Cheat on me and we're done...and I mean develop an emotional and or physical attachment for someone that you want to keep from me...thats cheating. My 2nd husband developed an attachment for someone over the internet, of course it was cheating long before they ended up in bed together.

 

Lie to me and we're done...There are things that should be shared in a relationship, a lie of omission is still a lie. Such as how many times have you been married in the past, do you have any children by these previous marriages, can you hold down a job...you get what I'm saying. I don't care if you were called 4 eyes in school and tormented by the school bully, if thats something you don't want to talk about fine.

 

My adopted family is very intrusive, controlling and manipulative. ANYONE, friends included must trust that I have a complete understanding of this and not question me. Any communication behind my back with anyone in my family will be treated as lying...actually worse. My brother has done this with both of my ex-husbands and my sisters as well. This is not his attempt to help things, its his attempt to intrude and control things.

 

Of course I would want to find someone with common interests to mine. I don't mind staying home but I also like to go out and do things. I am not a health nut so sometimes its nice to do things like this but not all the time.

 

I have cats, their here to stay.

 

I'm sure I have forgotten alot of stuff but I will add to it later as things pop into my mind.

[Komrade Vostok Hazard]

Well I now know who I DON'T want.

[Lethalfind]

Well I now know who I DON'T want.

 

LOL@komrade

 

this is not meant to help people find someone on here

 

why not write out what your looking for, it might help you next time you meet someone, you might spot something immediatly in that person that is on your list...

I think your a little young for me anyway...

[RoyalOrleans]

Goddamn! Leth... I never knew you to be such a relationship nazi.

 

Here's my list...

 

Easy... gigiddeee gigiddeee gigiddeee

 

Cross Cuntry Trips... gigiddeee gigiddeee gigiddeee

 

Oh... oh yeah.

[Lethalfind]

Goddamn! Leth... I never knew you to be such a relationship nazi.

 

Here's my list...

 

Easy... gigiddeee gigiddeee gigiddeee

 

Cross Cuntry Trips... gigiddeee gigiddeee gigiddeee

 

Oh... oh yeah.

 

It comes from having been through several very bad experiences. I know where I've been and don't want to go back there...I would rather stay single then go through that bullshit again.

[Mohammed_Rots_In_Hell]

I see why you're twice divorced! You better lighten up if you really want a husband!

[Mohammed_Rots_In_Hell]

Goddamn! Leth... I never knew you to be such a relationship nazi.

 

Here's my list...

 

Easy... gigiddeee gigiddeee gigiddeee

 

Cross Cuntry Trips... gigiddeee gigiddeee gigiddeee

 

Oh... oh yeah.

....... Quagmire?

[Lethalfind]

I see why you're twice divorced! You better lighten up if you really want a husband!

 

typical male response

I am twice divorced because of things like I objected to my second husband having an affair while I was the only one working...

AND I don't want a husband badly enough to put up with bullshit.

I have gone through enough of that too last me a lifetime.

 

Whats wrong, not willing to put any of your own wants on the page??

[RoyalOrleans]

....... Quagmire?

 

Oh yeah... Quagmire is my favorite character from the Family Guy show. He reminds me of an old Corp buddy.

[builder]

What am I looking for in a mate? Hmmmmm, let's see now.

 

Must be keen on fishing, and must be able to bait own hooks and tie good knots. Must be capable of gutting and filleting fish. Must have a boat with outboard motor. Please send picture of boat and motor.