Your New Years resolution... quit fucking lying to yourself.

[phreakwars]

Fat chain smoker, we'll use a fictional name and call him "DAVE" gets his mind a pumping and tells himself he's gonna lose weight, quit smoking, and improve his sex drive this year....

 

Sorry Timmy... oops, I mean Dave... your a pathetic piece of shit loser..

 

If you hold a job for more then 3 months, someone should fucking call Guinness. The only exercise your gonna fucking do is spend $250 for a fucking gym membership, bench 40 fucking lbs maybe 20 times, attempt 3 sit ups, and fail, go get a drink of water, walk around the track for 10 minutes and then go to fucking Taco Bell. Still smelling of sweat, you will proceed to order about $20 worth of food for yourself, Eat only 1/2 of this fucking taco rama feast, and throw the rest away.

 

And did I mention you'll have a diet soft drink ??

 

Good Job Conan, you'll be impressing the lady's in no time..

 

Next you'll spend Jan 2-4 giving up those darn smokes.. you'll bitch and cuss and fidget, then eventually drive down to the local gas station and pick up a pack of generics... convincing yourself its a sign of quiting if you can buy the cheaper brand...

 

So you smoke... just one.... ahhh... that's better...

 

Forget the cold turkey plan, time for plan B. Slow withdrawal... yeah... that always works right ???

 

Meanwhile your sister has once again decided to find God in her life and send me a present with all kinds of mumbo jumbo hoopla Christian dogma jargon about Christ or some shit like that, written all over the package... Uhm.. OK... my 5 year old will just rip the fucking paper anyway... I don't think she cares for the dogma on the wrapper..

 

So anyways, I'm thinking to myself again tonight, and I notice the next HOLIDAY up is New Years..

 

I don't know, just the thought of it makes me smirk for some evil reason..

 

Let's see, do I stay home this year, get trashed with the old lady and a couple neighbors... or do I go to Signature's BAR & GRILL for the party they are having ??

 

I guess one of the reason's it makes me smirk, is My Boss ALSO gave me a gift card for signature's, and in my mail box today, from an anonymous person, I received a greeting card, and YET ANOTHER gift card for signatures... It was signed........... Phreaks biggest fan...

 

 

A SCAN OF THE GIFT CARD I RECIEVED

.

 

First of all, I am awestruck and somewhat emotional... I didn't know you all cared... ... either that or you guys wanna see me go flip my buddy Kara some shit in her face... Hmm... I DO have that new DVI cam, and GF does allow us to upload video....

 

But anyways, the gift cards got me thinking of Kara... Which in turn made me think, of sad and pathetic people in the world.... but anyways.. I wonder to myself how many of these assholes are gonna make a new year's resolution and actually stick to it..

 

I just find it quite funny to watch failure in action, and the temptations of the 7 deadly sins take over our will.

 

So with that, I wanna wish most of you an early HAPPY NEW YEAR !! And ask if any of you have a New Years resolution, and how many of ya have fucked it all up by cheating on the promise you made to yourself...

 

I do maintenance on my own PC during the years end, so I probably won't be on much next week... then again... who am I kidding.. I'll probably end up fucking tweaking out (without actually doing tweak) on my PC nonstop until it's all setup the way I want it... well anyways... later...AND I HOPE YOU SORRY FUCKERS KEEP YOUR RESOLUTIONS!!!

 

PEACE !!

.

.

[scout]

And the best of the coming year to you too Phreak.

I'll probably be here reading all the posts I missed out on before I came over.

And resolving to quit smoking like I have for the last 35 years.

[hugo]

And the best of the coming year to you too Phreak.

I'll probably be here reading all the posts I missed out on before I came over.

And resolving to quit smoking like I have for the last 35 years.

 

What a moron and a terrible parent.

[builder]

What a moron and a terrible parent.

 

I'm fast coming to the conclusion that you would prefer to troll this board, rather than approach issues with an open mind.

 

How is scout a moron and a terrible parent? Be more specific. It's hard to beat the shit out of a cloud of noxious gas that is dropped in passing.

[tiredofwhiners]

I just hope to make it another fucking year. Maybe I'll quit smoking..oh wait i quit that 16 years ago. Maybe I'll quit drinking...aaaa NO. I got it I'll quit working, live off welfare. Ya I'll start smoking again drink more, then I'll stand outside of stores and bitch how the worlds unfair. See about having a few more kids (cuz you get more welfare then) and start beating my wife. Its going to be a great year! Hey do i get free cable on welfare?

 

Oh ya i'll be parting with some couples at my house. So Phreak you'll have to tame Signature's without me.

[scout]

What a moron and a terrible parent.

Builder already asked you what that was all about - but I would rather you answered me.

[angie]

Unfortunately, I'll be sober. Unless I go into labor in the next two or three days. Even then, it'll be one or two drinks max. But I don't see myself being that lucky.

[builder]

Don't stress it, Angie. Busy year in front of you now.

 

I'm definately not going to drink any more, or any less. Just the usual three cartons a week.

 

I am going to rationalise my work commitments. I am going to increase my time off work. I am going to the beach tomorrow.

 

It's a tough call, but with courage and conviction, I think I can carry it off.

[TheJenn88]

Resolution? bah. Never made one. they've never worked. Hm. This year I'll do everything to self-satisfy. yeah. Right.

[RoyalOrleans]

June twenty-ninth. I gotta get in shape. Too much sitting has ruined my body. Too much abuse has gone on for too long. From now on there will be 50 pushups each morning, 50 pullups. There will be no more pills, no more bad food, no more destroyers of my body. From now on will be total organization. Every muscle must be tight.

 

I got some bad ideas in my head.

 

 

[attach=full]720[/attach]

[Crispy Critter]

I resolve to not kick my oldest teenagers ass when he fails in school and acts like an asshole.

 

I resolve to go to Alaska and punch a hole in the Artic wildlife preserve and set it on fire... Maybe barbeque some local animals and see if it will cause the pole to melt and flood the morons that prefer to import oil from the Middle East.

 

I resolve to be a warrior supporting the war on Christmas so Christians get pissed off enough to forgive anything the republicans do wrong.

 

I resolve to find a medcaid fraud doctor that will pay me to visit him/her even if I come twice a day... use the proceeds to buy a farm... hire some illegal lettuce pickers from south of the border and pay them by requiring them to visit the doctor a couple times a day....

 

I resolve to piss off as many liberals as I can in the upcoming virgin new year. Rub their noses in their crap they spew once they once again are proven wrong...

 

I resolve to acknowledge right and wrong and understand truth is irrelevent to the choice... choose right anyway...

[hugo]

I'm fast coming to the conclusion that you would prefer to troll this board, rather than approach issues with an open mind.

 

How is scout a moron and a terrible parent? Be more specific. It's hard to beat the shit out of a cloud of noxious gas that is dropped in passing.

 

From the guy who blames Bush for the last tsunami.

[builder]

From the guy who blames Bush for the last tsunami.

 

What an absolute crock of shit. You can do better. You're just getting fucking lazy in your old age.

[hugo]

What an absolute crock of shit. You can do better. You're just getting fucking lazy in your old age.

 

You got me there.

[Mohammed_Rots_In_Hell]

My New Year's Resolution for 2006...

 

1) I will smoke MORE pot in 2006 than any other year.

 

2) I will drink LESS, but I will NOT give it up... If I do drink the same or even a bit more it will not be a failure as long as I don't gain weight.

[builder]

My New Year's Resolution for 2006...

 

1) I will smoke MORE pot in 2006 than any other year.

 

2) I will drink LESS, but I will NOT give it up... If I do drink the same or even a bit more it will not be a failure as long as I don't gain weight.

 

That's a tough one. I might have to join you on that particular crusade.

[ImWithStupid]

My New Year's Resolution is to get a new computer and get rid of this slow, old POS.:o

[angie]

I have no resolutions. Closest thing I have is to make it through labor without screaming. Can't drink, can't smoke, so that's taken care of. Don't really need to "watch what I eat" because I've been doing that for a very long time anyways, only more so being pregnant. And any leftover baby fat should disappear quickly since I'm going to breastfeed.

As for plans-going to a party same place as last year. Just gonna have to do it sober this time. Oh well. Still good to get out of the house.

[ToriAllen]

My New Years resolution is to spend more time with my kids, and more time as a family.

[scout]

I have no resolutions. Closest thing I have is to make it through labor without screaming. Can't drink, can't smoke, so that's taken care of. Don't really need to "watch what I eat" because I've been doing that for a very long time anyways, only more so being pregnant. And any leftover baby fat should disappear quickly since I'm going to breastfeed.

As for plans-going to a party same place as last year. Just gonna have to do it sober this time. Oh well. Still good to get out of the house.

Are you joking! Scream your head off if you feel the need! Not a time for heroics.

[Lethalfind]

Lets see...My New Years Resolutions...

 

Drive no more then 50 miles in a day...at least for a couple months until I can blot the 2400 miles out of my mind that I have driven in December.

 

I will no longer be answering the phone, no matter how loud someone screams on my answering machine or how terse and nasty people get. I am tired of verbal abuse so keep yammering at my answering machine...Your dead to me.

 

I need to drink more. While I was in Texas, I had to escape my family so a friend took me out, he asked me what do you want to eat, I replied, I don't need any food, just a couple Long Island Iced Teas, please. I felt better that night then I did all the other nights I was in hell, put together. It was especially meaningful when the State of Texas began to spontaneously combust, apparently not enough rain, 80 degree temps and high winds don't mix well at all.

 

I found another one, Don't go back to Texas...Ever, or at least as long as any of my certifiable family still live there.

 

 

I don't actually believe in new years resolutions, its stupid and pathetic.

[builder]

Are you joking! Scream your head off if you feel the need! Not a time for heroics.

 

I do concur about the screaming your fucking head off in childbirth. I can't imagine what it's like, but if you need to scream, let it out, by all means.

 

Scout, your handle reminds me of a few places where I read that native or indigenous americans actually gave birth on their own, by quietly sneaking off into a secluded grove, and silently doing the job alone. Can anyone confirm or deny that?

[angie]

Scout, your handle reminds me of a few places where I read that native or indigenous americans actually gave birth on their own, by quietly sneaking off into a secluded grove, and silently doing the job alone. Can anyone confirm or deny that?

 

Very much true, Builder. I believe it was in African Cultures. They discussed it in my birthing class. The women were NEVER told of what child birth is like, what to expect, what to do....yet they did things similar to those who had some sort of childbirth training, i.e. walking, squatting...alot of it is instinct. But yes, they do the job alone.

[Komrade Vostok Hazard]

1. Toke more pot

2. Find a new bar

3. Dont hang out with ANYONE anymore. Everyone's a prick.

4. Drink harder

[scout]

Very much true, Builder. I believe it was in African Cultures. They discussed it in my birthing class. The women were NEVER told of what child birth is like, what to expect, what to do....yet they did things similar to those who had some sort of childbirth training, i.e. walking, squatting...alot of it is instinct. But yes, they do the job alone.

I believe Scout was Tontos' horse.

Yeah, American Indians are said to have done it that way too. Whew.........