Lethalfind Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 I have this friend, he and I used to date but agreed to be just friends. He called me on Thursday night and asked me to the theatre for a production of Joseph and the technicolor something or other, I always forget the ending of that. I was unable to go because I have class until later on Friday night. Tonight he called me and asked if I wanted to go to MGM with him, my daughter and I. He asked me if I had taken her to see Chronicles of Narnia because it would spoil the movie to go on the ride before she saw the movie. To be honest I really didn't want to go. Diane has the day off and I wanted to do some things around the house. I told him I would see if it was playing in the area and we could go tonight so we all three could enjoy the trip to MGM tomorrow. I called him back and he told me he wasn't sure he was going to go but to call him in the morning. WHAT THE FUCK !! Why did he call me in the first place. It wasn't my idea to go tomorrow. I wrote him an email and told him I didn't want to go in the first place, I do have alot going on and haven't been sleeping. I guess I was just being polite and feeling quilty that I haven't gone and done something with Diane over the weekend. To be honest I don't like going to movies because I have a hard time sitting still for that long, he knows this. Its something where I would have to be prepared for this, take some extra pills to make sure my back was not hurting etc. He is so fuckin stupid... One time when we were supposedly dating I asked him if he would like to come over tomorrow night and watch a movie. He told me he couldn't plan that far in advance. What the fuck ever... Its like he WANTS me to beg him for his time. I think not. I'm not that interested in spending time with him to be honest. I was thinking more of my daughter then of him. No matter who the man is, I don't beg. You can beg me for my time but not the other way around. I simply don't care that much. Quote I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
ImWithStupid Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 I'm no expert or anything, but none of these situations you described sound like what I'd consider a date. It just sounds like friends hanging out together. Quote
Lethalfind Posted January 16, 2006 Author Posted January 16, 2006 I'm no expert or anything, but none of these situations you described sound like what I'd consider a date. It just sounds like friends hanging out together. I guess the real question is would you call up someone ask them to go somewhere with you then tell them, your not sure if you want to go?? This person is just very self absorbed. For instance, he wants me to sit and watch sports with him but won't sit and watch a movie hes not interested in with me. Its all about him. Quote I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
ImWithStupid Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 I guess the real question is would you call up someone ask them to go somewhere with you then tell them, your not sure if you want to go?? I personally wouldn't do that but I have friends who do similar things. Most don't do it for any kind of malicious reason, they just don't think before planning or saying something. This person is just very self absorbed. For instance, he wants me to sit and watch sports with him but won't sit and watch a movie hes not interested in with me. Its all about him. After spending a lot of time pondering what the hell goes through these peoples brains and why they don't realize that you may want to do something you like or actually have to make plans, due to kids, work, prior plans or what not, and aren't able or prefer not to just go with the flow and do everything on a whim. I came to the realization that's how they are and I decided that it's not in my control and I just take it as that's who they are. I just don't put much stock in what they say until I see signs of real planning or whatever and if it comes time to do it and I didn't see any reason to make arrangements to join, I just exclude myself. See, I decided a few years ago that I'm not going to stress over or worry about anything that I can't control because all that does is lead to frustration. Recently I had a friend of mine mad because after we had plans to go out at 5:30 pm they wanted everyone (5 other people) to wait until 6:00 when she could show up. We said we would wait for them but we were still going to arrive at 5:30 and have some drinks until they arrived. This person refused to show up if they couldn't come when everyone else got there. Pretty much just being ridiculous about the whole thing. I was told by some of the other people that this person was mad at me about the situation. I looked at them and said there's nothing I could do about that, and they'll either get over it or they won't, I wasn't going to stress about it. I have enough things to worry about and life's way too short to stress over something beyond my control. Quote
Lethalfind Posted January 16, 2006 Author Posted January 16, 2006 I personally wouldn't do that but I have friends who do similar things. Most don't do it for any kind of malicious reason, they just don't think before planning or saying something. After spending a lot of time pondering what the hell goes through these peoples brains and why they don't realize that you may want to do something you like or actually have to make plans, due to kids, work, prior plans or what not, and aren't able or prefer not to just go with the flow and do everything on a whim. I came to the realization that's how they are and I decided that it's not in my control and I just take it as that's who they are. I just don't put much stock in what they say until I see signs of real planning or whatever and if it comes time to do it and I didn't see any reason to make arrangements to join, I just exclude myself. See, I decided a few years ago that I'm not going to stress over or worry about anything that I can't control because all that does is lead to frustration. Recently I had a friend of mine mad because after we had plans to go out at 5:30 pm they wanted everyone (5 other people) to wait until 6:00 when she could show up. We said we would wait for them but we were still going to arrive at 5:30 and have some drinks until they arrived. This person refused to show up if they couldn't come when everyone else got there. Pretty much just being ridiculous about the whole thing. I was told by some of the other people that this person was mad at me about the situation. I looked at them and said there's nothing I could do about that, and they'll either get over it or they won't, I wasn't going to stress about it. I have enough things to worry about and life's way too short to stress over something beyond my control. Ya got that right. I think the thing that annoys me the most about this person is how he whines. Its bad enough when a woman whines but you kind of expect that from women and children but oh my fuckin god it annoys me when a man whines. The funny thing is that he was upset wondering why his last girlfriend broke up with him. Now I'm not a tactful person but I was able to hold my tongue and keep from laughing out loud, or at least until after I got off the phone. I kind of feel sorry for him but that feeling is waning and he is just on my last fuckin nerve. Quote I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
phreakwars Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 Bitch, just get a fucking vibrator and shut up. . . Quote https://www.facebook.com/phreakwars
Lethalfind Posted January 16, 2006 Author Posted January 16, 2006 Bitch, just get a fucking vibrator and shut up. . . I have one already, what I need to do is stop answering the phone when he calls because he just annoys the SHIT out of me. Quote I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
tiredofwhiners Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 I have one already, what I need to do is stop answering the phone when he calls because he just annoys the SHIT out of me. Or have the vibrator in hand when he calls. Quote AA's for quitters...i'm no quitter!
TheJenn88 Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 Joseph and the technicolor something or other, I always forget the ending of that. You'll find this next bit of advice more useful than anything: DON'T. EVER. OVER YOUR DEAD BODY, SEE THAT SHIT!!! It's bible thumping crap with REALLY bad music - trying to tell a story from the bible. My friend invited me to her youth group one night, out of boredom I went, and we watched the movie. I thought I was going to die. It was... bad. I can't even bring myself to recount what I saw and the nightmares that followed. P.S. It's, "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat." Quote
Lethalfind Posted January 17, 2006 Author Posted January 17, 2006 You'll find this next bit of advice more useful than anything: DON'T. EVER. OVER YOUR DEAD BODY, SEE THAT SHIT!!! It's bible thumping crap with REALLY bad music - trying to tell a story from the bible. My friend invited me to her youth group one night, out of boredom I went, and we watched the movie. I thought I was going to die. It was... bad. I can't even bring myself to recount what I saw and the nightmares that followed. P.S. It's, "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat." Oh dear, now I'm glad I missed it. I remember the name now you say it but for some reason I have a mental block in trying to remember it. I just like going to the theatre, love musicals and music in general. He has season tickets. Quote I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
TheJenn88 Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 Oh dear, now I'm glad I missed it. I remember the name now you say it but for some reason I have a mental block in trying to remember it. I just like going to the theatre, love musicals and music in general. He has season tickets. Well, no matter what they tell you, it isn't a musical. It's death Quote
Lethalfind Posted January 18, 2006 Author Posted January 18, 2006 Well, no matter what they tell you, it isn't a musical. It's death Anything with religion in it is definetly not on with me. I don't want to hear it, don't care about it, keep it too yourself. So I was spared an annoying evening. Thank goodness. Quote I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
Cogito Ergo Sum Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 (With best Yiddish accent....) Oi Vay, What a bunch of mashooganahs you are... Come on now. I see this kind of behavior over and over in people and have to scratch my head and wonder WHY!?!?!? Why would you not simply tell the other person the TRUTH about how you feel? Are you trying to save face? Are you worried that you'll hurt their feelings? Are you trying to maintain some sense of manipulative behavior and keep the person on a long leash and yank that leash when you are lonely and just want a companion? I don't get it. People have LOST the art of HONESTY. Things would have been so much easier had you simply said, "You know, I appreciate the offer, but right now, I'm just not up to it. Thank you anyway. In fact, I'm taking a break from the world for awhile and when I feel more like myself I'll ring you up and we can go from there. Thanks for your understanding." FUCKING PROBLEM SOLVED. No Bullshit. No false behavior. TRUTH. BTW: When you use this technique, you don't have to remember what stupid shit you told somebody; makes life easy. Quote . I put no stock in religion. By the word "religion" I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of god. I have seen too much "religion" in the eyes of too many murderers. Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. WE'VE SPENT HOW MUCH IN IRAQ? www.costofwar.com - http://icasualties.org/oif/ - http://iraqbodycount.net/
Lesbian Since 13 Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 This person is just very self absorbed. For instance, he wants me to sit and watch sports with him but won't sit and watch a movie hes not interested in with me. Its all about him. And this is unusual for a guy in what way?????? Seriously, it doesn't sound like dates to me. Sounds like a guy who needs a clue. Quote
manicmonday Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 (With best Yiddish accent....) Oi Vay, What a bunch of mashooganahs you are... Come on now. I see this kind of behavior over and over in people and have to scratch my head and wonder WHY!?!?!? Why would you not simply tell the other person the TRUTH about how you feel? Are you trying to save face? Are you worried that you'll hurt their feelings? Are you trying to maintain some sense of manipulative behavior and keep the person on a long leash and yank that leash when you are lonely and just want a companion? I don't get it. People have LOST the art of HONESTY. Things would have been so much easier had you simply said, "You know, I appreciate the offer, but right now, I'm just not up to it. Thank you anyway. In fact, I'm taking a break from the world for awhile and when I feel more like myself I'll ring you up and we can go from there. Thanks for your understanding." FUCKING PROBLEM SOLVED. No Bullshit. No false behavior. TRUTH. BTW: When you use this technique, you don't have to remember what stupid shit you told somebody; makes life easy. CES, I think you are completely right on this. Just say up front your not interested. Also, I think he sounds gay and trying to figure out what side of the fence he's sitting on. Quote The dick has no conscience and the heart has no rational abilities.
ImWithStupid Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 I just like going to the theatre, love musicals and music in general. He has season tickets. Manicmonday, What on earth was your biggest clue that he may be gay. Quote
manicmonday Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Manicmonday, What on earth was your biggest clue that he may be gay. IWS, sometimes these thoughts are fleeting and sometimes I'm right. LOL LOL;) Quote The dick has no conscience and the heart has no rational abilities.
Lethalfind Posted January 21, 2006 Author Posted January 21, 2006 (With best Yiddish accent....) Oi Vay, What a bunch of mashooganahs you are... Come on now. I see this kind of behavior over and over in people and have to scratch my head and wonder WHY!?!?!? Why would you not simply tell the other person the TRUTH about how you feel? Are you trying to save face? Are you worried that you'll hurt their feelings? Are you trying to maintain some sense of manipulative behavior and keep the person on a long leash and yank that leash when you are lonely and just want a companion? I don't get it. People have LOST the art of HONESTY. Things would have been so much easier had you simply said, "You know, I appreciate the offer, but right now, I'm just not up to it. Thank you anyway. In fact, I'm taking a break from the world for awhile and when I feel more like myself I'll ring you up and we can go from there. Thanks for your understanding." FUCKING PROBLEM SOLVED. No Bullshit. No false behavior. TRUTH. BTW: When you use this technique, you don't have to remember what stupid shit you told somebody; makes life easy. It was because I didn't want to hurt his feelings, thats all. I grew up in a very manipulative and controlling family and I don't do that too people because I hate it when people do that too me. Quote I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
Cogito Ergo Sum Posted January 21, 2006 Posted January 21, 2006 It was because I didn't want to hurt his feelings, thats all. I grew up in a very manipulative and controlling family and I don't do that too people because I hate it when people do that too me. NEWS FLASH: Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is MORE manipulative and controlling than denying people their right to the absolute TRUTH from you. You are absolutely trying to control the environment around them and the way they feel. You're too old for this. Grow up! Quote . I put no stock in religion. By the word "religion" I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of god. I have seen too much "religion" in the eyes of too many murderers. Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. WE'VE SPENT HOW MUCH IN IRAQ? www.costofwar.com - http://icasualties.org/oif/ - http://iraqbodycount.net/
ImWithStupid Posted January 21, 2006 Posted January 21, 2006 It was because I didn't want to hurt his feelings, thats all. I grew up in a very manipulative and controlling family and I don't do that too people because I hate it when people do that too me. You hate when people do what to you? Manipulate and control you or lie to you? I myself would rather have someone be honest and risk hurting my feelings than lie to me and leave me believing an illusion. I feel honesty is one of the most importent concepts in any friendship/relationship. Without honesty and trust you don't have anything. 1 Quote
ToriAllen Posted January 21, 2006 Posted January 21, 2006 You hate when people do what to you? Manipulate and control you or lie to you? I myself would rather have someone be honest and risk hurting my feelings than lie to me and leave me believing an illusion. I feel honesty is one of the most importent concepts in any friendship/relationship. Without honesty and trust you don't have anything. Exactly. Just rip that bandaid off quick with me. I feel like a fool when I find out I've been led on. 1 Quote Smart men learn from their own mistakes; Wise men learn from others. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man.
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