RoyalOrleans Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 (My first name happens to be Neal... doh!) Ask the good doctor anything you like, from relationship advice to tuning up your car. I will answer it with every bit of integrity that I can muster, depending on how much I've had to drink. Ask away... Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
Mohammed_Rots_In_Hell Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 How do you get those pesky lightbulbs out of your butthole after a wild gay sex orgy? Quote The first amendment provides our constitution with its voice. The second amendment provides its teeth.
ImWithStupid Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 How do you get those pesky lightbulbs out of your butthole after a wild gay sex orgy? Please address the procedure for both lightbulbs inserted glass first and metal first. Quote
RoyalOrleans Posted February 5, 2006 Author Posted February 5, 2006 How do you get those pesky lightbulbs out of your butthole after a wild gay sex orgy? First of all, you want to take an ordinary bowl or microwaveable dish from the cupboard. Next, place a 1/3 of a stick of butter into the bowl. Place it into the microwave and heat for thirty-five seconds on HIGH. Once the butter is melted, remove it fromt he microwave and allow to cool for 10 seconds. Once it has cooled, pour the contents into your rectum. Allow the butter to congeal for a few seconds and begin to pull the lightbulbs from your rectum. In the case of a broken lightbulb, cut a potato in half. Insert the opened side of the potato into the rectum and push. The potato should adhere to the broken pieces and will be easier to pull out. In the case of getting a potato stuck in your rectum. Go to the ER or push like you've never pushed before. A laxative would certainly help. Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
phreakwars Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 Dr. D I have really painful calesusssusus on the bottom of my feet. How do I get rid of them.... they are quite painful, as I walk many hours a day for my job. I use insoles and I have no problem walking with my shoes on, but when walking barefoot... damn does that hurt sometimes. So uhhh... help the Phreak out here, and I'll give ya some rep. . . Quote https://www.facebook.com/phreakwars
phreakwars Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 Construction Worker ?? Never !! That would be like WORK or something. . . Quote https://www.facebook.com/phreakwars
manicmonday Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 Dr. D I have really painful calesusssusus on the bottom of my feet. How do I get rid of them.... they are quite painful, as I walk many hours a day for my job. I use insoles and I have no problem walking with my shoes on, but when walking barefoot... damn does that hurt sometimes. So uhhh... help the Phreak out here, and I'll give ya some rep. . . Get a sanding paper and scrape away. Lotion lotion lotion. Talcom powder in your socks also helps soften your feet while standing on them all day. Quote The dick has no conscience and the heart has no rational abilities.
ImWithStupid Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 Dr. D I have really painful calesusssusus on the bottom of my feet. How do I get rid of them.... they are quite painful, as I walk many hours a day for my job. I use insoles and I have no problem walking with my shoes on, but when walking barefoot... damn does that hurt sometimes. So uhhh... help the Phreak out here, and I'll give ya some rep. . . Scrape the callouses with pumice and use a good skin cream, not lotion. If it's that bad lotions won't do shit. Quote
manicmonday Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 Yes your right, cream is excellent. I use milk and honey, but I'm going to assume that's to feminine. Quote The dick has no conscience and the heart has no rational abilities.
ImWithStupid Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 When dealing with foot calluses, I'm not sure anything is too feminine. Quote
phreakwars Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 And what about the lying?lying how ?? Define job ?? I have worked the same job for quite some time, I was ALSO working a couple other jobs but quit them to devote more time to just one. Anything I do with computers is just a hobby and I do not concider that actually working, I do alot of building and selling of PC's yes, but I don't do it for steady income, I do it because I am passionate about building a screaming fast PC. Yes, I lead a very dull life, wanna make something of it ?? . . Quote https://www.facebook.com/phreakwars
RoyalOrleans Posted February 6, 2006 Author Posted February 6, 2006 Dr. D I have really painful calesusssusus on the bottom of my feet. How do I get rid of them.... they are quite painful, as I walk many hours a day for my job. I use insoles and I have no problem walking with my shoes on, but when walking barefoot... damn does that hurt sometimes. So uhhh... help the Phreak out here, and I'll give ya some rep. . . In my line of work, I am on the move and on my feet all damn day. My feet are covered in calluses and bunions. I have tried a number of remedies... 1. By far the best quick fix is to use insoles, as you mentioned. I use the Dr. Scholl's Gel insoles and I have never looked back. Comfort does not even begin to describe the feeling. 2. Go to one of those Vietnamese nail parlors. Get a pedicure, seriously. It's exhilarating. It will help you tremendously if you enjoy walking around in your bare feet. I, for one, do not regret getting a pedicure. 3. There are certain lotions that you can buy that will help soften your callused feet. Dr. Scholl's makes a cream that smells like peppermint and has aloe and other active ingredients. Exfoliation is slow, however has long lasting effects. I hope this helps. 1 Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
ToriAllen Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 I have one. Who in their right mind would take advice from you? Quote Smart men learn from their own mistakes; Wise men learn from others. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man.
RoyalOrleans Posted February 6, 2006 Author Posted February 6, 2006 I have one. Who in their right mind would take advice from you? If you have to ask, then you already know the answer. Now shut up. NEXT! Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
Komrade Vostok Hazard Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 hmmmmm ....Is it abnormal to look when I flush? .....Do I have to shave the gerbil before insertion? .....what language is spoken in France? ......If i'm drinking a 12 pack each day, cutting my wrists and yelling at myself should I get help? Quote All bullshit, No Business.
TheJenn88 Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 ......If i'm drinking a 12 pack each day, cutting my wrists and yelling at myself should I get help? No, lather, rinse, repeat. 1 Quote
RoyalOrleans Posted February 7, 2006 Author Posted February 7, 2006 Is it abnormal to look when I flush? Nope. Perfectly normal. However if you are taking the fecal matter out of the toilet and making "turd animals". Then, yes, it is abnormal. Do I have to shave the gerbil before insertion? Not always. According to Richard Gere's publicist's publicist, Gere likes them natural. The furrier the better. What language is spoken in France? They speak French, one of the many Romance Languages which broke off of Latin. Approximately 86% of the country speaks the national language. It would be 92% if you subtracted the languages of the territories and overseas holdings. If i'm drinking a 12 pack each day, cutting my wrists and yelling at myself should I get help? Be sure you cut down the road and not across it. Help? Nah... help is for pussies. Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
tizz Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 No, lather, rinse, repeat. If only! Quote "An intelligence that is not humane is the most dangerous thing in the world" Ashley Montague "No one should have to walk alone" Phuong Du "An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind" Ghandi "If I were asked to define an American in a single phrase, I would say 'An American is a person who has the right to be different' and I think that right is growing" William Manchester
TheJenn88 Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 Be sure you cut down the road and not across it. I accidentally fell down the road once, in the shower, trying to shave. That was not cool. Quote
angie Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 Phreak, RO is absolutely on the money. Get a pedicure. They use all kinds of fancy creams to soak your feet, so when they scrub with the pumice stone-the layers of dead skin fall right off. It's like getting a new pair of feet. Quote http://www.darwinawards.com/ http://www.snopes.com http://www.breakthechain.org STOP THE SPAM!! Click Me You Know You Want To
phreakwars Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 Phreak, RO is absolutely on the money. Get a pedicure. They use all kinds of fancy creams to soak your feet, so when they scrub with the pumice stone-the layers of dead skin fall right off. It's like getting a new pair of feet.I'm getting an erection just thinking about it. . . Quote https://www.facebook.com/phreakwars
manicmonday Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 I'm getting an erection just thinking about it. . . Too Much Information Quote The dick has no conscience and the heart has no rational abilities.
tiredofwhiners Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 I'm getting an erection just thinking about it. . . Know where i'm not eating tonight. Quote AA's for quitters...i'm no quitter!
smutt butt Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 Why don't women think burping and farting is fun? why does my wife get mad if i suggest a threesome with her sister? why don't animals need to wipe their ass after crapping? why are farts funny? Quote "This place may be bombed and we will be killed. We love death. The US loves life. That is the big difference between us." Osama Bin Laden. nov. 2001
Tex Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 Why don't women think burping and farting is fun? Same reason they don't like it when you piss on the carpet after a night on the bevvy. No sense of humour. why does my wife get mad if i suggest a threesome with her sister? Is she invited too, or is it just you, her sister and a third party to be decided on at a later date? why don't animals need to wipe their ass after crapping? Easy. Long tongues. Ask me the same question about the French and I haven't a fuckin' clue though. why are farts funny? Dunno, ask Leno fans. They seem to find that unfunny motherfucker amusing. Quote I'll just have a shit, and then I'll feel better.
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.