Tex Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 Dear Doctor Neal, Why don't the park keepers at Hyde Park near my house put up a second 'No Ball games' sign 8 yards (7.32m) to the left of the current one? This would save us having to use a sweater for a goalpost when we play football. Inconsiderate cocksuckers. Quote I'll just have a shit, and then I'll feel better.
OmegaManiac Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 Dr. D I have really painful calesusssusus on the bottom of my feet. How do I get rid of them.... they are quite painful, as I walk many hours a day for my job. I use insoles and I have no problem walking with my shoes on, but when walking barefoot... damn does that hurt sometimes. So uhhh... help the Phreak out here, and I'll give ya some rep. . . This one is easy. Walk barefoot as often as possible on as many rough surfaces as you can plant your little piggies on. Sand, gravel, asphalt, concrete, you get the picture. Do this untill the pain subsides. The key is not to soften the feet but infact quite the opposite. You should forge your feet into the steel clad weapons of mass destruction that they were meant to be. Quote
Tex Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 This one is easy. Walk barefoot as often as possible on as many rough surfaces as you can plant your little piggies on. Sand, gravel, asphalt, concrete, you get the picture. Do this untill the pain subsides. The key is not to soften the feet but infact quite the opposite. You should forge your feet into the steel clad weapons of mass destruction that they were meant to be. Try coating them liberally in epoxy resin and sleep with them in the oven on a low heat. After a good eight hours you'll have hooves like Satan. Quote I'll just have a shit, and then I'll feel better.
OmegaManiac Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 Try coating them liberally in epoxy resin and sleep with them in the oven on a low heat. After a good eight hours you'll have hooves like Satan. not bad........ Quote
scout Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 Dr. D I have really painful calesusssusus on the bottom of my feet. How do I get rid of them.... they are quite painful, as I walk many hours a day for my job. I use insoles and I have no problem walking with my shoes on, but when walking barefoot... damn does that hurt sometimes. So uhhh... help the Phreak out here, and I'll give ya some rep. . . Soak them while your in the shower/tub - then get out the pocket knife. Works for me. Quote
Cogito Ergo Sum Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Dear Dr. Neal Down, Help Me! Women tell me that my dick is way too big! Too big for most women to let me put it inside of them, or if they do let me put it in, then they refuse to let me thrust with the vigor God gave me. They say "It hurts". WTF? I'm so tired of the gratuitous hand job or just having them bob the tip...I need some push push or a real live deepthroat and I need it fast. So, I advertised in the local trash rag for women who like hung men, thinking that I could find a few connoisseurs of giant cock, but after separating the real women from the numerous gay men who responded willing to "help" me, upon going over to the ladies homes to give them a good vigorous bopping, they were either a) Really ugly and not even the paper bag over their head would help. b) Really Republican and not even putting the paper bag over my head would help. c) They though I was black because "No white boy should have a dick that big! Is that real? Here, let me give you a hand-job." Arrrrgggggg..... I know that most men wish they had more meat, but let me tell you something, being a tripod isn't easy, I've been made fun of my whole life in the shower room, and every woman who says she loves a big dick, is a lying whore; can't even get it 3/4 the way in and it's gone from "Ooo Ooo Ooo" to "Ouch Ouch Ouch! - Take it out!" Help me! Where can I find a hot babe who enjoys having her guts crushed on a daily basis? Surely there is a fine woman out there who likes being permanently bowlegged! Quote . I put no stock in religion. By the word "religion" I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of god. I have seen too much "religion" in the eyes of too many murderers. Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. WE'VE SPENT HOW MUCH IN IRAQ? www.costofwar.com - http://icasualties.org/oif/ - http://iraqbodycount.net/
ToriAllen Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Help me! Where can I find a hot babe who enjoys having her guts crushed on a daily basis? Surely there is a fine woman out there who likes being permanently bowlegged! Lethal expressed an interest in big dicks about a week ago. Perhaps you could track her down. I don't think you would find her to be 'too Republican'. Or you could aways just suck it up and bring a bag with you on your next 'date'. Quote Smart men learn from their own mistakes; Wise men learn from others. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man.
Cogito Ergo Sum Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Or you could aways just suck it up and bring a bag with you on your next 'date'. Hey! Are you trying to imply that just because I go over to her house to screw, instead of going out and wasting $$$ on a dinner she wouldn't appreciate in the first place, or making small talk she really doesn't care to hear (nor do I), or acting as if I'm "interested" in her when all I want is access to her wondrous penis massage device called a vagina....you actually have the gaul to imply that it's not a 'date'? How rude and hurtful! Quote . I put no stock in religion. By the word "religion" I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of god. I have seen too much "religion" in the eyes of too many murderers. Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. WE'VE SPENT HOW MUCH IN IRAQ? www.costofwar.com - http://icasualties.org/oif/ - http://iraqbodycount.net/
RoyalOrleans Posted February 10, 2006 Author Posted February 10, 2006 Help Me! Women tell me that my dick is way too big! Too big for most women to let me put it inside of them, or if they do let me put it in, then they refuse to let me thrust with the vigor God gave me. They say "It hurts". WTF? I'm so tired of the gratuitous hand job or just having them bob the tip...I need some push push or a real live deepthroat and I need it fast. First of all, CES, it would be nice to leave out your letter to the Penthouse Forum. a) Really ugly and not even the paper bag over their head would help. Ugly chicks need a good snarlin', too. Do what I do; double bag her. b) Really Republican and not even putting the paper bag over my head would help. This one, unfortunately, I can't help you with. To each, his own... I guess. However, you could certainly send the gal down the road to wreck and ruin by corruption. Go for the ones that are ten years younger, but only two years older than you. c) They though I was black because "No white boy should have a dick that big! Is that real? Here, let me give you a hand-job." Arrrrgggggg..... Maybe you should pretend to be black. When it's time to meet the cooze, I'd throw on some Al Jolson blackface. Worked for me. Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
Vortex Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Dear Dr Neal, I think I have a serious problem and its a litlle embarrassing! I have severe feminine itch. If tried all the creams you see on tv with the happy "pretty" ladies who dance little jigs because their itch is gone. Mine, however, is still there. I dont know where else to turn... please help! PS....I cant seem to find my vagina to itch it....that would be helpful too! PPS...do any of those "pretty" ladies ever work in film again once they do one of those commericals? Quote -I don't know about you...but I am SICK and tired of being nice and understanding!!! -The Liver is evil and must be punished! -The Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. How can your opinion be the correct one....if, infact, its only an opinion?!?!
tizz Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 Dear Dr Neal, PPS...do any of those "pretty" ladies ever work in film again once they do one of those commericals? Ya they go on to do the Valtrex, herpes commercials Quote "An intelligence that is not humane is the most dangerous thing in the world" Ashley Montague "No one should have to walk alone" Phuong Du "An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind" Ghandi "If I were asked to define an American in a single phrase, I would say 'An American is a person who has the right to be different' and I think that right is growing" William Manchester
RoyalOrleans Posted February 12, 2006 Author Posted February 12, 2006 I think I have a serious problem and its a litlle embarrassing! I have severe feminine itch. If tried all the creams you see on tv with the happy "pretty" ladies who dance little jigs because their itch is gone. Mine, however, is still there. I dont know where else to turn... Sleep pantless and pantiless for three or four nights to allow it to "air" out. Fungus reproduce rapidly in the damp, humid places of the world and of the body. Namless things gnawing at the earth. PS....I cant seem to find my vagina to itch it....that would be helpful too! Journey further south there, cowboy. PPS...do any of those "pretty" ladies ever work in film again once they do one of those commericals? Have you ever seen the View? Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
fullauto Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 If The Oracle blows RO, will there be any money involved? Quote Liberals... Saving the world one semester at a time "I'm not a racist... I'm a realist! And if you don't know the difference, You're an Idiot!" -- Fullauto Present - 1. (Noun) The point that divides disappointment from hope
builder Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 If The Oracle blows RO, will there be any money involved? I'm seriously concerned about you, FA. Go pick up a skank, and tell us all about it tomorrow. Quote Persevere, it pisses people off.
RoyalOrleans Posted February 19, 2006 Author Posted February 19, 2006 If The Oracle blows RO, will there be any money involved? Yes. And I add money in multiples of five for every deep throat and ball tickle. For swallowing I throw in a hundred. Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
RoyalOrleans Posted February 19, 2006 Author Posted February 19, 2006 I'm seriously concerned about you, FA. Go pick up a skank, and tell us all about it tomorrow. I think Enki is a skirt, but works through FA's body. Enki can blow me in her full physical manifestation, as long as she leaves her vassal at home. Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
Crazy Taff McViolent Posted February 25, 2006 Posted February 25, 2006 I have a question. I hope you can help me out with this one as I would love to know the answer. Obviously. Why would I be asking it? Whatever happened to "The Elephant Man"? He made that one corker of a film and you never heard of him after that. What is he doing now? Did he make any more films? Can I catch him in panto somewhere? Quote
RoyalOrleans Posted February 25, 2006 Author Posted February 25, 2006 Whatever happened to "The Elephant Man"? He's alive and well. He sends his hate. What is he doing now? He works with retards. Did he make any more films? One. A little known Indie film, starring opposite Emma Thompson, called the "The Elephant Man 2: Electric Boogaloo". Can I catch him in panto somewhere? No, he hates you. Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
Lethalfind Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 I have had problems with caluses but I found something that makes a HUGE differance. When you get a pedicure they use a thing that looks like a small cheese slicer with a razor blade. Wal-Mart sells them about 2-3 bucks, you slice the caluses off. I also use a cordless dremel with a sanding barrel to smooth things up afterward. I use lotion afterward. My sister just told me about a lotion her pedicure person uses that actually melts the caluses off, however you have to be careful how long you leave it one. I can't wait to find that on the market somewhere, no doubt a beauty supply...lol, now that would be an image, Phreak in a beauty supply asking for help with his pedicure...lololol. 1 Quote I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
RoyalOrleans Posted February 26, 2006 Author Posted February 26, 2006 I have had problems with caluses but I found something that makes a HUGE differance. When you get a pedicure they use a thing that looks like a small cheese slicer with a razor blade. Wal-Mart sells them about 2-3 bucks, you slice the caluses off. I also use a cordless dremel with a sanding barrel to smooth things up afterward. I use lotion afterward. My sister just told me about a lotion her pedicure person uses that actually melts the caluses off, however you have to be careful how long you leave it one. I can't wait to find that on the market somewhere, no doubt a beauty supply...lol, now that would be an image, Phreak in a beauty supply asking for help with his pedicure...lololol. Having a pedicure was one of the most sensual things that has ever happened to me. I wanted to take mama-san out to dinner afterwards. Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
slip_knot Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 Doctor, This is kind of embarrasing but since coming back from holiday in Thailand, well, err , I've got this large angry red looking area on my bell-end, and its spread to my shaft also. It doesn't hurt so much. Its sort of like a mild burning. The good bit is theres no god awful smelly discharge, like last time. What is it Doctor Down ? What can I do? Quote
Lethalfind Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 Doctor, This is kind of embarrasing but since coming back from holiday in Thailand, well, err , I've got this large angry red looking area on my bell-end, and its spread to my shaft also. It doesn't hurt so much. Its sort of like a mild burning. The good bit is theres no god awful smelly discharge, like last time. What is it Doctor Down ? What can I do? What a surprise... Quote I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
Cogito Ergo Sum Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 Doctor, This is kind of embarrasing but since coming back from holiday in Thailand, well, err , I've got this large angry red looking area on my bell-end, and its spread to my shaft also. It doesn't hurt so much. Its sort of like a mild burning. The good bit is theres no god awful smelly discharge, like last time. What is it Doctor Down ? What can I do? The Doctor is out at the moment and he left me in charge to help his patients. He would say... Amputation is your only hope! The sooner the better and time is of the essence. 1. Go to the kitchen. 2. Select sharpest knife you can find. 3. Get lots of clean fresh towles. 4. Amputate as close to the central body as possible; completely and as quickly as you can. 5. Press towels firmly against bleeding until bleeding stops. Your cured! Enjoy. Quote . I put no stock in religion. By the word "religion" I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of god. I have seen too much "religion" in the eyes of too many murderers. Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. WE'VE SPENT HOW MUCH IN IRAQ? www.costofwar.com - http://icasualties.org/oif/ - http://iraqbodycount.net/
Lethalfind Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 The Doctor is out at the moment and he left me in charge to help his patients. He would say... Amputation is your only hope! The sooner the better and time is of the essence. 1. Go to the kitchen. 2. Select sharpest knife you can find. 3. Get lots of clean fresh towles. 4. Amputate as close to the central body as possible; completely and as quickly as you can. 5. Press towels firmly against bleeding until bleeding stops. Your cured! Enjoy. Given his mindset it might be better if he didn't breed anyway. Quote I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
slip_knot Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 Doctor CES, I've taken your advice, but fuck, its spread halfway up my back now. I guess I'll never get to join the Masons now............. Quote
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