George Bush QUITS!

[cybacaT]

(sent to me via email, for your discussion...)

 

The speech George W. Bush SHOULD give:

 

Normally, I start these things out by saying "My Fellow Americans."

Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't

know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something

terrible has happened, and that you're really not fellow Americans

any longer.

 

I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit.

 

Now before anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to avoid

impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you:

there's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.

 

The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people.

 

I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going

on in the world. Or of what's going on in this once-great nation of

ours. And the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your

homework and figure it out.

 

Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians

and the news media. Polls show that the majority of you think the

economy is in the tank. And that's despite record numbers of

homeowners including record numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And

while we're mentioning minorities, I'll point out that minority

business ownership is at an all-time high. Our unemployment rate is

as low as it ever was during the Clinton Administration. I've

mentioned all those things before, but it doesn't seem to have sunk

in.

 

Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market has

rebounded to record levels and more Americans than ever are

participating in these markets. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine

about gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize

that gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other

parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are

more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your

economic security.

 

We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this "blood for oil"

thing.

If I was trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq's oil

fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don't give me

this 'Bush Lied, People Died' crap either. If I was the liar you

morons take me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted

in Iraq so they could be 'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the

fact that the intelligence was faulty. Let me remind you that the

rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let me

also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy

before I came into office. Some guy named 'Clinton'

established that policy Bet you didn't know that, did you?

 

You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back

during the cold war, there were two major competing political and

economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because

fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We

were simply able to outspend and out-tech them.

 

That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't

care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as

long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you with

them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you. And the bastards are all over the globe.

 

You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here

in the United States since September 11. But you're not. That's

because you've got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence,

military, law enforcement and homeland security people have worked

to make sure of that. When this whole mess started, I warned you

that this would be a long and difficult fight. I'm disappointed how

many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a

single season of 'Survivor'.

 

Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things

through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think

that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.

 

Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy.

Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a

donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well,

dammit, you might just as well Fedex a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.

 

In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all

over the Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times or on NBC News.

But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would

rather watch American Idol.

 

I could say more about your expectations that the government will

always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave

a city that's below sea level and has a hurricane approaching. I

could say more about your insane belief that government, not your

own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the

conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your

heads.

 

So I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient

house down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be

fully self-sufficient. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got

elected, and as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will ever

hear of it again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age

before the last pillars of America fall.

 

Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too. That means Pelosi is your

new President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully,

because I still have a glimmer of hope that there're just enough of

you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in

2008.

 

So that's it. God bless what's left of America. Some of you know

what I mean.

[RegisteredAndEducated]

(sent to me via email, for your discussion...)

 

The speech George W. Bush SHOULD give:

 

Normally, I start these things out by saying "My Fellow Americans."

Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't

know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something

terrible has happened, and that you're really not fellow Americans

any longer.

 

I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit.

 

Now before anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to avoid

impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you:

there's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.

 

The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people.

 

I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going

on in the world. Or of what's going on in this once-great nation of

ours. And the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your

homework and figure it out.

 

Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians

and the news media. Polls show that the majority of you think the

economy is in the tank. And that's despite record numbers of

homeowners including record numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And

while we're mentioning minorities, I'll point out that minority

business ownership is at an all-time high. Our unemployment rate is

as low as it ever was during the Clinton Administration. I've

mentioned all those things before, but it doesn't seem to have sunk

in.

 

Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market has

rebounded to record levels and more Americans than ever are

participating in these markets. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine

about gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize

that gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other

parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are

more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your

economic security.

 

We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this "blood for oil"

thing.

If I was trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq's oil

fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don't give me

this 'Bush Lied, People Died' crap either. If I was the liar you

morons take me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted

in Iraq so they could be 'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the

fact that the intelligence was faulty. Let me remind you that the

rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let me

also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy

before I came into office. Some guy named 'Clinton'

established that policy Bet you didn't know that, did you?

 

You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back

during the cold war, there were two major competing political and

economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because

fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We

were simply able to outspend and out-tech them.

 

That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't

care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as

long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you with

them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you. And the bastards are all over the globe.

 

You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here

in the United States since September 11. But you're not. That's

because you've got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence,

military, law enforcement and homeland security people have worked

to make sure of that. When this whole mess started, I warned you

that this would be a long and difficult fight. I'm disappointed how

many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a

single season of 'Survivor'.

 

Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things

through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think

that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.

 

Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy.

Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a

donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well,

dammit, you might just as well Fedex a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.

 

In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all

over the Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times or on NBC News.

But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would

rather watch American Idol.

 

I could say more about your expectations that the government will

always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave

a city that's below sea level and has a hurricane approaching. I

could say more about your insane belief that government, not your

own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the

conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your

heads.

 

So I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient

house down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be

fully self-sufficient. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got

elected, and as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will ever

hear of it again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age

before the last pillars of America fall.

 

Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too. That means Pelosi is your

new President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully,

because I still have a glimmer of hope that there're just enough of

you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in

2008.

 

So that's it. God bless what's left of America. Some of you know

what I mean.

 

That's some good shit!