13yo belly button piercing????

[Chi]

I don't know about 13, but 9 is definitely way too young. But then again, you are the mother and that is your business. I have a 9yr old daughter myself and there is NO WAY in hell I would get or allow her to get a belly ring. Belly piercings to me are a bit sexy and provocative, no way in hell would I want my little girl to be viewed in that way. I want her to stay as innocent and young as long as possible. I love the fact that she still plays with dolls and thinks boys and having a boyfriend is gross.

[angie]

I don't know about 13, but 9 is definitely way too young. But then again, you are the mother and that is your business. I have a 9yr old daughter myself and there is NO WAY in hell I would get or allow her to get a belly ring. Belly piercings to me are a bit sexy and provocative, no way in hell would I want my little girl to be viewed in that way. I want her to stay as innocent and young as long as possible. I love the fact that she still plays with dolls and thinks boys and having a boyfriend is gross.

 

I pray my daughter is that way until shes 12 LOL. But I have a looong time to worry about that.

[Lethalfind]

In my honest opinion, I really think you will change your mind. By the time Diane hits 13, she most likely will be well on her way to having a womanly figure (if not already there, my cousin was at 13) and I'm sure you do not want her or others viewing her as a sexual figure at that age. And the fear of piercings may change (just a warning). I am PETRIFIED of needles, yet tattoos and piercings I'm ok with. Just shots and I.V.s bug me. When I was younger, I never would've thought I'd have the nerve to do what I've done. Or perhaps you'll be lucky and she will shy away from them purely out of fear.

 

Well I think I already have changed my mind, I was actually thinking about it last night. She is just a child with her toys now, I don't see anything sexual about her at all. BUT I know that can change and start before she is 13. There are things she wants to do now that are not about them being sexy like wearing a two piece bathing suit but when she is 13, these same things she is doing now will be in a different light. I just had to fast forward my brain a little.

I'm affraid of her getting to that age. She is going to be very tall and maybe I'm prejudice but I think she is going to get alot of attention from boys...not something I look forward to and I don't want to do anything to increase that. Its just not something I thought of until now.

[angie]

Well I think I already have changed my mind, I was actually thinking about it last night. She is just a child with her toys now, I don't see anything sexual about her at all. BUT I know that can change and start before she is 13. There are things she wants to do now that are not about them being sexy like wearing a two piece bathing suit but when she is 13, these same things she is doing now will be in a different light. I just had to fast forward my brain a little.

I'm affraid of her getting to that age. She is going to be very tall and maybe I'm prejudice but I think she is going to get alot of attention from boys...not something I look forward to and I don't want to do anything to increase that. Its just not something I thought of until now.

 

Understandable. Only reason I've considered all these things is because I have a cousin who's 14. She has been wearing make-up since she was like 9-and I'm not talking about just for school pics in costume. I'm talking eyeliner, eyeshadow, etc, almost daily for 5 years. She got her bellybutton pierced at 13, and dresses like a little hoochie. Whenever anyone meets her they think she;s at least 17. She tells all the high school boys she's 18, and they believe it. One of these days she's going to get a guy in some serious trouble, and my aunt and uncle have done nothing about it.

[Lethalfind]

Understandable. Only reason I've considered all these things is because I have a cousin who's 14. She has been wearing make-up since she was like 9-and I'm not talking about just for school pics in costume. I'm talking eyeliner, eyeshadow, etc, almost daily for 5 years. She got her bellybutton pierced at 13, and dresses like a little hoochie. Whenever anyone meets her they think she;s at least 17. She tells all the high school boys she's 18, and they believe it. One of these days she's going to get a guy in some serious trouble, and my aunt and uncle have done nothing about it.

 

now that does sound scarey...

 

I don't have anybody around me like that to make me think. I can just see her, attracting boys like flys to shit, what frightening image for my future.

 

Diane still wears Disney character clothes and underwear with characters on them.

 

I am SO not looking forward to that age. I can see the concern. On a day to day basis, I don't mind Diane wearing lip gloss but thats all the make up she wears.

 

She wears shorts alot but its warm here most of the time and I have a problem getting pants the right length for her because she is taller then the average child that is that small around the waist.

Now I have to search her backpack to make sure she hasn't taken any toys to school with her, I'm sure before long I will have to check for make up.

 

Maybe your relatives should have "I'm a minor" tattooed on her forehead...

[Gallytuck]

This leads to a large can of worms being opened but it must be said anyway.

 

While part of me wants to know what business a 13-year-old has in wanting to get a nav piercing the other part of me tells me to mind my own.

 

The can of worms:

 

At 13 the body is either getting ready or has already long started to change(depending upon how much steroid-pumped livestock products are consumed). What the body of a pubescent individual is telling said individual is this: "I'm ready to fuck".

 

Whether we like it or not we must acknowledge that a girl who has undergone sufficient body changes via puberty is indeed ready to procreate. To procreate you need to mate. To attract a mate you need to do whatever you feel is required to attract a suitable mate. Peacocks have flashy feathers, we have an arsenal of other options. One of those options is physical appearance.

 

As a society we tend to favour treating our children as children rather than the capable birth pods they grow into. We have some sort of amnesia which inhibits our insight into that stage in our lives.

 

The desire to fuck comes from within. We need to acknowledge that our children, again whether we like it or not, reach a certain age where they are inclined to be sexually active or curious. Brushing that issue off and continuing to treat them like children doesn't help this at all.

 

Instead of fighting reality we need to adapt.

 

You can't stop a determined adolescent from having sex. Your stance on this issue means fuck-all. What you can do, though, is be open and frank about sexuality with your children as the need arises. You can't stop them from getting their fuck on, but you can be a guide for them and maybe you'll successfully deter them from getting into something they'd be better off postponing until a more mature age.

 

So, I say she should be allowed to have the piercing done...but after a lengthy, positive discussion on body image and related topics. If the piercing would make her feel more positive about how her body looks then I don't see how that can be a negative thing. Teens have enough pressures and a negative self-esteem shouldn't have to be one of them.

[Lethalfind]

This leads to a large can of worms being opened but it must be said anyway.

 

While part of me wants to know what business a 13-year-old has in wanting to get a nav piercing the other part of me tells me to mind my own.

 

The can of worms:

 

At 13 the body is either getting ready or has already long started to change(depending upon how much steroid-pumped livestock products are consumed). What the body of a pubescent individual is telling said individual is this: "I'm ready to fuck".

 

Whether we like it or not we must acknowledge that a girl who has undergone sufficient body changes via puberty is indeed ready to procreate. To procreate you need to mate. To attract a mate you need to do whatever you feel is required to attract a suitable mate. Peacocks have flashy feathers, we have an arsenal of other options. One of those options is physical appearance.

 

As a society we tend to favour treating our children as children rather than the capable birth pods they grow into. We have some sort of amnesia which inhibits our insight into that stage in our lives.

 

The desire to fuck comes from within. We need to acknowledge that our children, again whether we like it or not, reach a certain age where they are inclined to be sexually active or curious. Brushing that issue off and continuing to treat them like children doesn't help this at all.

 

Instead of fighting reality we need to adapt.

 

You can't stop a determined adolescent from having sex. Your stance on this issue means fuck-all. What you can do, though, is be open and frank about sexuality with your children as the need arises. You can't stop them from getting their fuck on, but you can be a guide for them and maybe you'll successfully deter them from getting into something they'd be better off postponing until a more mature age.

 

So, I say she should be allowed to have the piercing done...but after a lengthy, positive discussion on body image and related topics. If the piercing would make her feel more positive about how her body looks then I don't see how that can be a negative thing. Teens have enough pressures and a negative self-esteem shouldn't have to be one of them.

 

I see your points however I don't think every 13 year old should have this done. I guess if you have a book wormy type girl who has little interest in boys she might be a good risk. However the last thing I need to see in life is my 13 year lifting her shirt to her friends (boys and girls) to show them her new belly button ring. At first I was the one asking whats the big deal, my daughter is only 9 though and I hadn't thought about it in the light of a budding adolescent. Frankly that image of her lifting her shirt to show it off (which she would do even at this age) scares the shit out of me. I don't mean to ignore her budding sexuality but I don't want to do anything to inhance her attractiveness to someone looking for a teeny bopper to bed.

I need a xanax just thinking about this.

[Gallytuck]

If you've done your job right you'll have empowered her with enough tools to protect herself from that sort of thing.

[Chi]

I pray my daughter is that way until shes 12 LOL. But I have a looong time to worry about that.

 

Yeah, you do have quite a while, I saw a picture of your daughter, she is adorable. Looks like a little doll:) In 4 more yrs my daughter will be a teenager, I have a feeling it is going to be quite a ride...eek!...

[angie]

This leads to a large can of worms being opened but it must be said anyway.

 

While part of me wants to know what business a 13-year-old has in wanting to get a nav piercing the other part of me tells me to mind my own.

 

The can of worms:

 

At 13 the body is either getting ready or has already long started to change(depending upon how much steroid-pumped livestock products are consumed). What the body of a pubescent individual is telling said individual is this: "I'm ready to fuck".

Yes. Which is why I eat hormone-free meats, and only buy hormone free milk from local farms. I'd rather put off puberty as long as possible.

Whether we like it or not we must acknowledge that a girl who has undergone sufficient body changes via puberty is indeed ready to procreate.

Ready? No. Capable? Yes. There is a fine line and many risks involved that teens need to be made aware of. Here's just a few:

http://www.marchofdimes.com/professionals/681_1159.asp

A teenage mother is at greater risk than women over age 20 for pregnancy complications such as premature labor, anemia and high blood pressure. These risks are even greater for teens who are under 15 years old.2 These youngest mothers also may be more than twice as likely to die of pregnancy complications than mothers ages 20 to 24.3

 

# In 2002, 9.6 percent of mothers ages 15 to 19 years had a low-birthweight baby (under 5.5 pounds), compared to 7.8 percent for mothers of all ages. The risk is higher for younger mothers: 11.3 percent of 15-year-old mothers had a low-birthweight baby in 2002 (18,703 girls this age gave birth, and 2,112 had low birthweight babies), compared to 8.9 percent of women aged 19 (168,111 births, with 14,920 of low birthweight).2

 

A child born to a teenage mother is 50 percent more likely to repeat a grade in school, and is more likely to perform poorly on standardized tests and drop out before finishing high school.5

 

To procreate you need to mate. To attract a mate you need to do whatever you feel is required to attract a suitable mate. Peacocks have flashy feathers, we have an arsenal of other options. One of those options is physical appearance.

Yes. But is there really a need to encourage it?

 

As a society we tend to favour treating our children as children rather than the capable birth pods they grow into. We have some sort of amnesia which inhibits our insight into that stage in our lives.

I think you are misinterpreting parental concern for blindsightedness. Hindsight is 20/20. We've been there, done that, and pray that our chidren will learn from our mistakes.

 

The desire to fuck comes from within. We need to acknowledge that our children, again whether we like it or not, reach a certain age where they are inclined to be sexually active or curious. Brushing that issue off and continuing to treat them like children doesn't help this at all.

Yes, we have to acknowledge it. But NO we do NOT have to tell them it's okay. They should know that it is perfectly normal to have these urges, but they need to know the MANY risks invovled with acting upon them at such an early age.

 

 

Instead of fighting reality we need to adapt.

You can't stop a determined adolescent from having sex. Your stance on this issue means fuck-all. What you can do, though, is be open and frank about sexuality with your children as the need arises. You can't stop them from getting their fuck on, but you can be a guide for them and maybe you'll successfully deter them from getting into something they'd be better off postponing until a more mature age.

I'm glad we're on the same page.

 

So, I say she should be allowed to have the piercing done...but after a lengthy, positive discussion on body image and related topics. If the piercing would make her feel more positive about how her body looks then I don't see how that can be a negative thing. Teens have enough pressures and a negative self-esteem shouldn't have to be one of them.

 

If a young girl needs to pierce her bellybutton to feel good about her body, then there are some deep underlying issues that need to be approached in a more appropriate manner. Why does feeling good about yourself have to come from an outward appearance?

Teach your children good eating habits. Take family outings that involve physical activities. Instead of telling your daughter "Wow you've lost alot of weight you look good" tell her "Your muscles are very toned and strong. I bet you could run a marathon!" Focus on what the body can DO, not what it looks like. By feeding into the "I have to look a certain way to be attractive" you are doing more harm than good for her self-esteem.

 

BUT if you want to let your daughter pierce her bellybutton at 13, that's fine. It is your choice as a parent to do so, and who am I to judge. I don't know you or your family, and ultimately it effects you, not me.

But those are the reasons that I won't allow mine to do so.

[tiredofwhiners]

My son's 13 and wants a Prince Albert piercing is that ok? And after he gets it he wants to meet Lethals daughter, he thinks her mom is pretty open minded.

[Lethalfind]

My son's 13 and wants a Prince Albert piercing is that ok? And after he gets it he wants to meet Lethals daughter, he thinks her mom is pretty open minded.

 

ummmmmmmmm, NO.

besides my daughter is only 9 at this point.

 

However this thread has taught me to think into the future...and I'm affraid of what I see, like your son with a Prince Albert wanting to show it too my daughter...

[tiredofwhiners]

ummmmmmmmm, NO.

besides my daughter is only 9 at this point.

 

However this thread has taught me to think into the future...and I'm affraid of what I see, like your son with a Prince Albert wanting to show it too my daughter...

 

LMAO i don't have a son i just wanted to bring that up. I have 2 girls so i have the same worries. The guys with sons always say they only have to worry about one dick, with girls you have to worry about all of them.

[Lethalfind]

LMAO i don't have a son i just wanted to bring that up. I have 2 girls so i have the same worries. The guys with sons always say they only have to worry about one dick, with girls you have to worry about all of them.

 

I figured you were joking HOWEVER, you bring up a very good point...

 

I have to say in general I can understand peircing other places but I just don't get peircing something I value so much, like my clitoris...or for you men your penis. I do my best to keep sharp implements away from the most nerve rich skin on my body...

[Gallytuck]

You drink milk, Angie? Milk from a cow is intended to turn a 300 lbs calf into a 1200 lbs cow(whatever with the numbers, you should get the point).

 

We're the only mammals who drink the milk of another mammal. Your body is designed to consume water as a beverage and water alone. You're capable of digesting juices from fruits and vegetables, of course, but you're still designed to function properly if you were to consume water as your only beverage.

 

You're saying that capability does not equal readiness? This is a landmark day for me. I've met mother nature. Why aren't you born with teeth?

 

Before you inform me that "just because your body is ready doesn't mean you're prepared pyschologically/emotionally" let me say this: Who's fault is it that our children's mental/pyschological/emotional is not in step with our physical development? If you blame mother nature you're wrong. We're the ones to blame.

 

Our society dictates that you're an adult when you reach the age of 18. The age varies but most people would agree that a young teen whose body has reached sexual maturity is still not an adult. Oh, really?

 

It doesn't seem to bother anyone that in the not-so-distant past it was perfectly acceptable, if not only expected, that a woman give birth and start a family as soon as the body permitted such a thing. "But people only lived to be 30/40/whatever so they had to start earlier." So, since your average, healthy human being can be expected to live well past their 60's I suppose it's only logical to extend the length of time in which our children should be burdoned with "adult" feelings/emotions/pressures/etc., eh?

 

I feel that everyone goes through at least one period where they wish they were children once again. And it's sorta nice to think that we, as a society, would wish to grant our own children an extension of that fantasy world of discovery...

 

...who the fuck is the fart phantom and why are they IMing me?...

 

...but obviously nature has other plans and we must ask ourselves if we should fuck with that.

[Gallytuck]

How is a young girl wanting a bellybutton ring to enhance her physical appearance the sign of an underlying issue? There's absolutely nothing wrong with liking your body to be a certain way. If it's obtainable, then go ahead and do it. The only stipulation is that it makes YOU happy.

 

Someone thinks a bellybutton ring will give them an edge in the appearance department...so what? Since when is positive empowerment a bad thing?

[Lethalfind]

How is a young girl wanting a bellybutton ring to enhance her physical appearance the sign of an underlying issue? There's absolutely nothing wrong with liking your body to be a certain way. If it's obtainable, then go ahead and do it. The only stipulation is that it makes YOU happy.

 

Someone thinks a bellybutton ring will give them an edge in the appearance department...so what? Since when is positive empowerment a bad thing?

 

My concern after reading these posts is only of the sexual side of it, I don't know how my daughter will be at that point in her life, I am doing my absolute best with her but I can't predict if she will be WAY to into the boys of if she will keep things in proportion.

I don't want a child on my hands like the one Ang described, a girl who looks like she is 18 when she is only 13. I don't want that kind of attention focused on her. Its not just about not trusting her, its that I DEFINETLY don't trust the boys are her.

[angie]

You drink milk, Angie? Milk from a cow is intended to turn a 300 lbs calf into a 1200 lbs cow(whatever with the numbers, you should get the point).

Yes. Mainly because I have to make sure I consume enough calcium and I can't stand leafy greens or soy products, and broccoli makes my daughter gassy.

 

We're the only mammals who drink the milk of another mammal. Your body is designed to consume water as a beverage and water alone. You're capable of digesting juices from fruits and vegetables, of course, but you're still designed to function properly if you were to consume water as your only beverage.You're saying that capability does not equal readiness?

And your point is....? We do it because we can. We drink milk for the calcium. We eat cheese because it tastes good. Not to mention, in the good ol' days, we used animals for all they were worth. If you had a cow, milk was free. It's called being frugal.

This is a landmark day for me. I've met mother nature. Why aren't you born with teeth?

I hope you're being sarcastic here.

 

Before you inform me that "just because your body is ready doesn't mean you're prepared pyschologically/emotionally" let me say this: Who's fault is it that our children's mental/pyschological/emotional is not in step with our physical development? If you blame mother nature you're wrong. We're the ones to blame.

 

Our society dictates that you're an adult when you reach the age of 18. The age varies but most people would agree that a young teen whose body has reached sexual maturity is still not an adult. Oh, really?

Yes really. Have you tried to have an intellectual conversation with a teen lately? So they might have some fresh new perspectives. In a teen's mind, the world is out to get them, and they know everything.

 

http://allpsych.com/psychology101/social_development.html

Identity vs. Role Confusion. During adolescence, the transition from childhood to adulthood is most important. Children are becoming more independent, and begin to look at the future in terms of career, relationships, families, housing, etc. During this period, they explore possibilities and begin to form their own identity based upon the outcome of their explorations. This sense of who they are can be hindered, which results in a sense of confusion ("I don

[angie]

How is a young girl wanting a bellybutton ring to enhance her physical appearance the sign of an underlying issue? There's absolutely nothing wrong with liking your body to be a certain way. If it's obtainable, then go ahead and do it. The only stipulation is that it makes YOU happy.

 

Someone thinks a bellybutton ring will give them an edge in the appearance department...so what? Since when is positive empowerment a bad thing?

I'm not saying WANTING one is a sign of an underlying issue. I said NEEDING ONE to feel good about oneself is the issue.

[Lethalfind]

You drink milk, Angie? Milk from a cow is intended to turn a 300 lbs calf into a 1200 lbs cow(whatever with the numbers, you should get the point).

 

We're the only mammals who drink the milk of another mammal. Your body is designed to consume water as a beverage and water alone. You're capable of digesting juices from fruits and vegetables, of course, but you're still designed to function properly if you were to consume water as your only beverage.

 

You're saying that capability does not equal readiness? This is a landmark day for me. I've met mother nature. Why aren't you born with teeth?

 

Before you inform me that "just because your body is ready doesn't mean you're prepared pyschologically/emotionally" let me say this: Who's fault is it that our children's mental/pyschological/emotional is not in step with our physical development? If you blame mother nature you're wrong. We're the ones to blame.

 

Our society dictates that you're an adult when you reach the age of 18. The age varies but most people would agree that a young teen whose body has reached sexual maturity is still not an adult. Oh, really?

 

It doesn't seem to bother anyone that in the not-so-distant past it was perfectly acceptable, if not only expected, that a woman give birth and start a family as soon as the body permitted such a thing. "But people only lived to be 30/40/whatever so they had to start earlier." So, since your average, healthy human being can be expected to live well past their 60's I suppose it's only logical to extend the length of time in which our children should be burdoned with "adult" feelings/emotions/pressures/etc., eh?

 

I feel that everyone goes through at least one period where they wish they were children once again. And it's sorta nice to think that we, as a society, would wish to grant our own children an extension of that fantasy world of discovery...

 

...who the fuck is the fart phantom and why are they IMing me?...

 

...but obviously nature has other plans and we must ask ourselves if we should fuck with that.

 

I don't normally do this but you are REALLY derailing this thread to get started on drinking milk in a thread about whether or not a 13 year old should have a belly button peircing...

If you have information about it then start a thread about cows milk versus whatever else...

[Gallytuck]

There are loads of foods with sufficient calcium. Many nuts and some common types of seafood contain calcium.

 

Love your justification for why we drink milk. Pretty much sums up everything we do: Because we can.

 

The question about the teeth...answer: Because you don't need them right away. It wasn't a jab, it was a question poised to make a point. Of course, it helps when someone catches on.

 

Teens work with what we give them. Our fault.

 

I don't acknowledge a lot of what psychology has to say. Some of what it consists of is not what I would consider to be psychology but more common sense. Being an adult does not mean someone is ready to have a child. You should need a licence.

 

And for the last one. I really like to avoid jumping on people but if you're serious about that last statement, "Why not? We've already cut down millions of acres of trees, nearly eradicated polio, diptheria, and various other diseases (third world countries excluded). Who are you to say where we draw the line? What makes this different from anything else we've done?", then I have to say, harsh as it sounds, that I pity your children. I'm hoping that I missed your meaning on that one, I really do. I like this place and I've enjoyed our banter, but if that's really your attitude then I have nothing else left to say to you.

[angie]

There are loads of foods with sufficient calcium. Many nuts and some common types of seafood contain calcium.

Nuts are loaded with fat, and I can't have an excessive amount of fish due to the mercury.

 

Love your justification for why we drink milk. Pretty much sums up everything we do: Because we can.

Yep. Get over it. Do you have an issue with it or are you just trying to use this pathetic excuse for an anology to make your point?

 

The question about the teeth...answer: Because you don't need them right away. It wasn't a jab, it was a question poised to make a point. Of course, it helps when someone catches on.

Yes I am well aware that we don't need them right away. However, I fail to see how that relates to drinking cow's milk.

 

Teens work with what we give them. Our fault.

 

I don't acknowledge a lot of what psychology has to say. Some of what it consists of is not what I would consider to be psychology but more common sense. Being an adult does not mean someone is ready to have a child. You should need a licence.

You're basically contradicting yourself here. I said because you are physically capable of producing a child doesn't mean you're ready. So how is it different for teens? Make up your mind.

 

And for the last one. I really like to avoid jumping on people but if you're serious about that last statement, "Why not? We've already cut down millions of acres of trees, nearly eradicated polio, diptheria, and various other diseases (third world countries excluded). Who are you to say where we draw the line? What makes this different from anything else we've done?", then I have to say, harsh as it sounds, that I pity your children. I'm hoping that I missed your meaning on that one, I really do. I like this place and I've enjoyed our banter, but if that's really your attitude then I have nothing else left to say to you.

 

That one was WAY over your head. And honestly if you've got nothing left to say to me so be it. You're not exactly high on my list of priorities either.

[Gallytuck]

" Teens work with what we give them. Our fault.

 

I don't acknowledge a lot of what psychology has to say. Some of what it consists of is not what I would consider to be psychology but more common sense. Being an adult does not mean someone is ready to have a child. You should need a licence."

 

How could you not get this? And basically contradicting myself in which part of that?

 

If I am contradicting myself, oh well. Having the stance that needing to do things to your physical body in order to feel good about yourself or to enhance your attractiveness is a negative/unhealthy thing and having tattoos and piercings is a doozy combo, eh?

[angie]

" Teens work with what we give them. Our fault.

 

I don't acknowledge a lot of what psychology has to say. Some of what it consists of is not what I would consider to be psychology but more common sense. Being an adult does not mean someone is ready to have a child. You should need a licence."

Learn how to use the quote tags, please.

 

How could you not get this? And basically contradicting myself in which part of that?

Go back and actually READ what I wrote.

If I am contradicting myself, oh well. Having the stance that needing to do things to your physical body in order to feel good about yourself or to enhance your attractiveness is a negative/unhealthy thing and having tattoos and piercings is a doozy combo, eh?

Thanks for answering all my questions on your stance.

As for having piercings and tattoos, I have them because I LIKE them. Not because I NEED to have them to feel good about my body and myself. I would feel the same way about myself if I didn't have them. They're not there to impress other people, they're there because I like them.

[Gallytuck]

I don't use quote tags because they're annoying. If someone were to read this post all the way through it'd be like reading it five times over with all the repeated quotes. We're all adults here and I expect people to be able to read a post from the beginning and to be able to follow that post without the quote crutch.