Bob is a racist
- Thread starter timesjoke
- Start date
timesjoke
Active Members
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/06/16/closes-park-land-mexico-border-americans/
About 3,500 acres of southern Arizona have been closed off to U.S. citizens due to increased violence at the U.S.-Mexico border, according to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.
The closed off area includes part of the Buenos Aires National Wildlife Refuge that stretches along the U.S.-Mexico border.
Pinal County Sheriff Paul Babeu told Fox News that violence against law enforcement officers and U.S. citizens has increased in the past four months, forcing officers on an 80 mile stretch of Arizona land north of the Mexico border off-limits to Americans.
The refuge had been adversely affected by the increase in drug smugglers, illegal activity and surveillance, which made it dangerous for Americans to visit.
"The situation in this zone has reached a point where continued public use of the area is not prudent," said refuge manager Mitch Ellis.
“It’s literally out of control,� said Babeu. “We stood with Senator McCain and literally demanded support for 3,000 soldiers to be deployed to Arizona to get this under control and finally secure our border with Mexico. “
U.S. Fish and Wildlife officials have warned visitors in Arizona to beware of heavily armed drug smugglers and human traffickers.
“We need support from the federal government. It’s their job to secure the border and they haven’t done it,� said Babeu. “In fact, President Obama suspended the construction of the fence and it’s just simply outrageous.�
Signs have been posted warning Americans not to cross into the closed off territory south of Interstate 8. Babeu said the signs are not enough – he said Arizona needs more resources to help scale back the violence caused by the drug cartels.
“We need action. It’s shameful that we, as the most powerful nation on Earth, … can’t even secure our own border and protect our own families.�
About 3,500 acres of southern Arizona have been closed off to U.S. citizens due to increased violence at the U.S.-Mexico border, according to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.
The closed off area includes part of the Buenos Aires National Wildlife Refuge that stretches along the U.S.-Mexico border.
Pinal County Sheriff Paul Babeu told Fox News that violence against law enforcement officers and U.S. citizens has increased in the past four months, forcing officers on an 80 mile stretch of Arizona land north of the Mexico border off-limits to Americans.
The refuge had been adversely affected by the increase in drug smugglers, illegal activity and surveillance, which made it dangerous for Americans to visit.
"The situation in this zone has reached a point where continued public use of the area is not prudent," said refuge manager Mitch Ellis.
“It’s literally out of control,� said Babeu. “We stood with Senator McCain and literally demanded support for 3,000 soldiers to be deployed to Arizona to get this under control and finally secure our border with Mexico. “
U.S. Fish and Wildlife officials have warned visitors in Arizona to beware of heavily armed drug smugglers and human traffickers.
“We need support from the federal government. It’s their job to secure the border and they haven’t done it,� said Babeu. “In fact, President Obama suspended the construction of the fence and it’s just simply outrageous.�
Signs have been posted warning Americans not to cross into the closed off territory south of Interstate 8. Babeu said the signs are not enough – he said Arizona needs more resources to help scale back the violence caused by the drug cartels.
“We need action. It’s shameful that we, as the most powerful nation on Earth, … can’t even secure our own border and protect our own families.�
hugo
New member
Before I decided to forego birth control and let nature decide if I would have children I asked myself two basic questions. #1 Am I in a stable relationship and #2 Will she be a good mother. My answer to both those question was yes. My son had a stable family throughout his childhood and I have now been married 30 years. Times asked one question #1 Will the kids be white. The mother of his biological children is now giving ten dollar blow jobs at a neighborhood crackhouse.
Chi
New member
I was one of the people who repped him. Before it got to the 10 dollar ********, etc. the comment made sense and was totally rep worthy. You judge about people not thinking and planning ahead before having bi-racial kids, yet your story didn't come out so good either. And you don't have a bi-racial kid.
I have bi-racial children and not fitting in with different races and having identity problems with their races has never been a problem. And we live in a predominantly white area.
timesjoke
Active Members
I never said "all" children who are mixed will have problems, but the possibility of problems are enough that parents should plan for, and those who don't plan for it, have caused a lot of pain to their children, this is not my opinion, this is supported by almost every study ever done about mixed race children, one example:
http://ematusov.soe.udel.edu/final.paper.pub/_pwfsfp/00000071.htm
Abstract
The United States is a multicultural society. Social interactions among ethnic groups are getting more common nowadays. As a result, the population of interracial marriages and partnerships have gradually expanded. This paper focus on the identity problems among the biracial children from black/white families as well as conflicts they are facing. In addition, I will provide some suggestions from the counselor's points of view in order to help biracial children to be well-adapted in American society.
Paper
The United States is a multicultural society. Social interactions among ethnic groups are getting more common nowadays. As a result, the population of interracial marriages and partnerships have gradually expanded. In 1990, the U.S. Bureau of the Census reported that there were at least 900,000 biracial married couples in the United States (Winn & Priest, 1993). These mixed relationships are producing an increasing number of biracial offspring.
A biracial child is operationally definded as one whose biological parents are of dissimilar racial groups. For example, the children of parents who are African American and Asian, Cuban and European American, Puerto Rican and Native American (Adler, 1987; Winn & Priest, 1993; Nishimura, 1995; Herring, 1995). The statistics of the 1990 census estimated that the number of children born from the interracial marriages were ranging from 5000,000 to 5,000,000 (Winn & Priest, 1993).
In the field of biracial children's research, most of the studies focus on those biracial children who were from African American and European American marriages (Jacobs, 1978; Johnson, 1992; Bowles, 1993; Brown, 1995). The U.S. Census Bureau counted 65,000 black/white interracial marriages in 1970 and 218,000 in 1989. This represents an increase of 300% in less than 20 years (Brown, 1995). I will present a brief overview of the identity problems and the conflicts among biracial in this paper, especially the offspring of black/white couples. Moreover, I will also provide some suggestions from the counselors' points of view in order to help biracial children to be well-adapted in American society.
Identity Problems
Erik Erikson (As cited in Bowles, 1993, p.11) defined identity as " 'the creation of a sense of sameness, a unity of personality now felt by the individual and recognized by others as having consistency in time-of being, as it were, an irreversible historical fact.'" Bowles (1993) suggests that the individual and communal identities are very important for people to form a mature and healthy personality. However, interracial offspring can be considerably more complicated than that of single-race children (McGoldrick, 1982). For example, the biracial offspring often experience difficulties with gender confusion, self-hatred, alcohol and other drug abuse, suicide, delinquency, alienation, and denial of self, as well as racial self-identity (Benson, 1981). According to McRoy and Freeman (1986), these biracial children also display a high incidence of academic and behavioral problems.
What are those factors that influence biracial children in their personal identities? As Bowles (1993) points out, the personal identity is influenced primarily by family relationships. The next influence is from peers as well as societies. Herring (1992) states that "biracial children are particularly vulnerable to differential treatments by their parents and relatives, social rejection by their peers, and ambivalent attention in their schools and communities" (p. 124). Bowles (1993) stresses that families provide the foundation for the biracial children to form their racial identities. However, if the interracial couples have the greater differences between spouses in cultural background, their interactions may negatively affect the ethnic and cultural identity formation of their biracial children (Herring, 1992).
Biracial children often experience the identity confusion. Their choice of ethnic identity is related more to societal norms and expectations that are partially transmitted to biracial children by their parents (Bowles, 1993). According to Bowles' (1993) description of his clinical practice, two black women who were married to whites expressed that "being white would make for 'an easier time in the world' for their daughters" (p.420). However, one of their daughters expressed her feeling that "I am always fearful that others will not see me as white and that makes me anxious all the time" (p. 420). Bowles (1993) also points out the following: If a child dis-identifies with a parent, he cannot use that parent as a reflective mirror, telling the child who s/he is. If mirroring is not possible, the child cannot develop and differentiate her "real" self and feels a sense of emptiness, abandonment and alienation. These feelings result because the child disowns part of who s/he is. When the child is confronted by the alienated part of the self, the child experiences toxic shame. The alienated part of the self makes the child feel that s/he never quite belongs: that s/he is always on the outside looking in. (p. 422)
According to Bowles (1993), shame affirms one's sense of being worthless and inferior. Therefore, failure to identity with one parent would lead biracial children to have the feelings of shame, emotional isolation and depression (Bowles, 1993). In American society, children of mixed black and white racial heredity are often categorized as black (Bowles, 1993; Brown 1995). Hence, these children of mixed black and white are more likely to see themselves as black in order to resolve their conflicts of racial identity (Brown, 1995). A 23-year-old college senior from the Brown (1995) Interracial Young Adult Interview said: I thought of myself as mixed. It was not a problem for me until someone said, "well how can you consider yourself interracial? You are black!" That was in my "Race Awareness" class. (The professor... was trying to get us to say whether we consider ourselves black or white.) [The professor explained] "You can't be both." "If there was a war, blacks on one side and whites on the other, which side would you go on?" I said: "Probably neither, because I would have to choose between my father and mother, and I don't have a favorite." But since I could not answer, he was yelling at me, 'People see you as black.' "That is just describing my color," [the participant responded] "but if I go by what I know, I can't consider myself black." I remember I was very upset, and I wanted to drop out of class after that.... But ever since then I have been filling out forms...by what people see me as rather than what I should put down. I know a lot of my friends are the same way. Well, my black friends, anyway. I don't want to have every single day an argument. (p. 127)
Brown (1995) found that the majority of the biracial participants (74.8%) in his study had experienced some degree of conflict about their racial identity while growing up. "They continued to feel misidentified by society, rendered invisible, and pressured to deny their white parent and their own whiteness" (Brown, 1995, p.128). According to Herring (1992), biracial females may limit their future choice of sexual partners and activities to minority men. Biracial males may project the risk of rejection by white women.
Suggestions for Counselors
According to Nishimura (1995), a good counseling program will prevent the problems that are formed by biracial children. He suggests some recommendations for school counselors: (a) Conducting a careful examination of his or her own personal attitudes about interracial marriage and biracial children. (B) Providing a broad description (visual and verbal) of possible family compositions when families are the discussion topic © Expanding the concept of one's cultural background to include multiple cultural heritages. (d) emphasizing that diversity goes beyond the acknowledgment of racial groups to include biracial people, different lifestyles,age, gender orientation, and physical disabilities. (e) Being sensitive to the dilemmas of biracial children when topics pertaining to personal and group identity are being presented(p.55). Indeed, school counselors must develop a positive working relationship with biracial children. In addition, school counselors must increase their own awareness and knowledge regarding the cultural customs of other ethnic groups. They can apply the understanding of other ethnic groups to help the biracial children to build self-esteem as unique individuals (Herring, 1992).
School counselors should also provide resources that help to educate biracial youth about their parents' racial heritage (Herring, 1995). The biracial children should be encouraged to explore both sides of their racial heritage in order to form a positive sense of identification with their ethnic and cultural roots (Gibbs, 1987). However, counselors should be sensitive to their own feelings, values, and perceptions related to biracial children (Winn & Priest, 1993).
Biracial youth have more positive outcomes when they are reared in supportive family systems (Herring, 1995). Consequently, facilitating the family involvement is necessary, particularly in parents and siblings (Gibbs, 1989). It's important to teach biracial children that a family which consists of different cultural backgrounds is common and acceptable. Interracial children have the same parenting needs as all children. As a result, Winn and Priest (1993) provide some suggestions for parenting: (a)Parents of interracial children need to bring both cultures and languages into the home and to give their children extensive experiences with a wide range of ethnic and racial groups. (b)They need to support their child's exploration of first one side and then the other side of his/her heritage. ©They need to accept with patience and understanding the ambivalence and possible negativism this exploration engenders (p. 33).
A child can be helped to incorporate both parents into his or her identity when offered an interracial label. Parents should have accepted what their children have to say about race before correcting them. Parents need to allow their children freedom to individualize without guilt or divided loyalties; for the first agenda in childrearing is to build positive self identity (Jacobs, 1978; Johnson, 1992).
It is also important that giving biracial children the opportunity to develop relationships with racially diverse peers (Winn & Priest, 1993). Nishimura (1995) points out that peer relationships greatly influence how adolescents view themselves in relation to others. However, Williams (As cited in Herring, 1992) found that interracial children are chosen as friends and playmates just as often as other children.
Conclusion
Interracial identity is the most conducive to the emotional well-being of interracial children. According to Johnson and Nagoshi (As cited in Winn & Priest, 1993, p.30), "biracial children who grow up in a nurturing family and in a community where biculturalism is met with acceptance, will experience no greater problems than monocultural children." If we afford a choice, most biracial children would choose to classify themselves as biracial rather than identify with a single racial group. Therefore, it is important to provide biracial children positive role models that include family members, peer group, school and community members (Nishimura, 1995). I believe that if American society pays more attention to those biracial children and help them to develop a healthy sense of themselves, the problems of biracial children will be diminished.
Regarding the field of biracial children's researches, most studies focus on black/white families. It is rare to see the researches that study biracial children of other interracial families such as American and Asian. Would those biracial children have other difficulties of dealing with their racial identities than black/white biracial children? Maybe they have less problems than black/white biracial children. Researchers should be further in the studies of other interracial children except black/white population.
http://ematusov.soe.udel.edu/final.paper.pub/_pwfsfp/00000071.htm
Abstract
The United States is a multicultural society. Social interactions among ethnic groups are getting more common nowadays. As a result, the population of interracial marriages and partnerships have gradually expanded. This paper focus on the identity problems among the biracial children from black/white families as well as conflicts they are facing. In addition, I will provide some suggestions from the counselor's points of view in order to help biracial children to be well-adapted in American society.
Paper
The United States is a multicultural society. Social interactions among ethnic groups are getting more common nowadays. As a result, the population of interracial marriages and partnerships have gradually expanded. In 1990, the U.S. Bureau of the Census reported that there were at least 900,000 biracial married couples in the United States (Winn & Priest, 1993). These mixed relationships are producing an increasing number of biracial offspring.
A biracial child is operationally definded as one whose biological parents are of dissimilar racial groups. For example, the children of parents who are African American and Asian, Cuban and European American, Puerto Rican and Native American (Adler, 1987; Winn & Priest, 1993; Nishimura, 1995; Herring, 1995). The statistics of the 1990 census estimated that the number of children born from the interracial marriages were ranging from 5000,000 to 5,000,000 (Winn & Priest, 1993).
In the field of biracial children's research, most of the studies focus on those biracial children who were from African American and European American marriages (Jacobs, 1978; Johnson, 1992; Bowles, 1993; Brown, 1995). The U.S. Census Bureau counted 65,000 black/white interracial marriages in 1970 and 218,000 in 1989. This represents an increase of 300% in less than 20 years (Brown, 1995). I will present a brief overview of the identity problems and the conflicts among biracial in this paper, especially the offspring of black/white couples. Moreover, I will also provide some suggestions from the counselors' points of view in order to help biracial children to be well-adapted in American society.
Identity Problems
Erik Erikson (As cited in Bowles, 1993, p.11) defined identity as " 'the creation of a sense of sameness, a unity of personality now felt by the individual and recognized by others as having consistency in time-of being, as it were, an irreversible historical fact.'" Bowles (1993) suggests that the individual and communal identities are very important for people to form a mature and healthy personality. However, interracial offspring can be considerably more complicated than that of single-race children (McGoldrick, 1982). For example, the biracial offspring often experience difficulties with gender confusion, self-hatred, alcohol and other drug abuse, suicide, delinquency, alienation, and denial of self, as well as racial self-identity (Benson, 1981). According to McRoy and Freeman (1986), these biracial children also display a high incidence of academic and behavioral problems.
What are those factors that influence biracial children in their personal identities? As Bowles (1993) points out, the personal identity is influenced primarily by family relationships. The next influence is from peers as well as societies. Herring (1992) states that "biracial children are particularly vulnerable to differential treatments by their parents and relatives, social rejection by their peers, and ambivalent attention in their schools and communities" (p. 124). Bowles (1993) stresses that families provide the foundation for the biracial children to form their racial identities. However, if the interracial couples have the greater differences between spouses in cultural background, their interactions may negatively affect the ethnic and cultural identity formation of their biracial children (Herring, 1992).
Biracial children often experience the identity confusion. Their choice of ethnic identity is related more to societal norms and expectations that are partially transmitted to biracial children by their parents (Bowles, 1993). According to Bowles' (1993) description of his clinical practice, two black women who were married to whites expressed that "being white would make for 'an easier time in the world' for their daughters" (p.420). However, one of their daughters expressed her feeling that "I am always fearful that others will not see me as white and that makes me anxious all the time" (p. 420). Bowles (1993) also points out the following: If a child dis-identifies with a parent, he cannot use that parent as a reflective mirror, telling the child who s/he is. If mirroring is not possible, the child cannot develop and differentiate her "real" self and feels a sense of emptiness, abandonment and alienation. These feelings result because the child disowns part of who s/he is. When the child is confronted by the alienated part of the self, the child experiences toxic shame. The alienated part of the self makes the child feel that s/he never quite belongs: that s/he is always on the outside looking in. (p. 422)
According to Bowles (1993), shame affirms one's sense of being worthless and inferior. Therefore, failure to identity with one parent would lead biracial children to have the feelings of shame, emotional isolation and depression (Bowles, 1993). In American society, children of mixed black and white racial heredity are often categorized as black (Bowles, 1993; Brown 1995). Hence, these children of mixed black and white are more likely to see themselves as black in order to resolve their conflicts of racial identity (Brown, 1995). A 23-year-old college senior from the Brown (1995) Interracial Young Adult Interview said: I thought of myself as mixed. It was not a problem for me until someone said, "well how can you consider yourself interracial? You are black!" That was in my "Race Awareness" class. (The professor... was trying to get us to say whether we consider ourselves black or white.) [The professor explained] "You can't be both." "If there was a war, blacks on one side and whites on the other, which side would you go on?" I said: "Probably neither, because I would have to choose between my father and mother, and I don't have a favorite." But since I could not answer, he was yelling at me, 'People see you as black.' "That is just describing my color," [the participant responded] "but if I go by what I know, I can't consider myself black." I remember I was very upset, and I wanted to drop out of class after that.... But ever since then I have been filling out forms...by what people see me as rather than what I should put down. I know a lot of my friends are the same way. Well, my black friends, anyway. I don't want to have every single day an argument. (p. 127)
Brown (1995) found that the majority of the biracial participants (74.8%) in his study had experienced some degree of conflict about their racial identity while growing up. "They continued to feel misidentified by society, rendered invisible, and pressured to deny their white parent and their own whiteness" (Brown, 1995, p.128). According to Herring (1992), biracial females may limit their future choice of sexual partners and activities to minority men. Biracial males may project the risk of rejection by white women.
Suggestions for Counselors
According to Nishimura (1995), a good counseling program will prevent the problems that are formed by biracial children. He suggests some recommendations for school counselors: (a) Conducting a careful examination of his or her own personal attitudes about interracial marriage and biracial children. (B) Providing a broad description (visual and verbal) of possible family compositions when families are the discussion topic © Expanding the concept of one's cultural background to include multiple cultural heritages. (d) emphasizing that diversity goes beyond the acknowledgment of racial groups to include biracial people, different lifestyles,age, gender orientation, and physical disabilities. (e) Being sensitive to the dilemmas of biracial children when topics pertaining to personal and group identity are being presented(p.55). Indeed, school counselors must develop a positive working relationship with biracial children. In addition, school counselors must increase their own awareness and knowledge regarding the cultural customs of other ethnic groups. They can apply the understanding of other ethnic groups to help the biracial children to build self-esteem as unique individuals (Herring, 1992).
School counselors should also provide resources that help to educate biracial youth about their parents' racial heritage (Herring, 1995). The biracial children should be encouraged to explore both sides of their racial heritage in order to form a positive sense of identification with their ethnic and cultural roots (Gibbs, 1987). However, counselors should be sensitive to their own feelings, values, and perceptions related to biracial children (Winn & Priest, 1993).
Biracial youth have more positive outcomes when they are reared in supportive family systems (Herring, 1995). Consequently, facilitating the family involvement is necessary, particularly in parents and siblings (Gibbs, 1989). It's important to teach biracial children that a family which consists of different cultural backgrounds is common and acceptable. Interracial children have the same parenting needs as all children. As a result, Winn and Priest (1993) provide some suggestions for parenting: (a)Parents of interracial children need to bring both cultures and languages into the home and to give their children extensive experiences with a wide range of ethnic and racial groups. (b)They need to support their child's exploration of first one side and then the other side of his/her heritage. ©They need to accept with patience and understanding the ambivalence and possible negativism this exploration engenders (p. 33).
A child can be helped to incorporate both parents into his or her identity when offered an interracial label. Parents should have accepted what their children have to say about race before correcting them. Parents need to allow their children freedom to individualize without guilt or divided loyalties; for the first agenda in childrearing is to build positive self identity (Jacobs, 1978; Johnson, 1992).
It is also important that giving biracial children the opportunity to develop relationships with racially diverse peers (Winn & Priest, 1993). Nishimura (1995) points out that peer relationships greatly influence how adolescents view themselves in relation to others. However, Williams (As cited in Herring, 1992) found that interracial children are chosen as friends and playmates just as often as other children.
Conclusion
Interracial identity is the most conducive to the emotional well-being of interracial children. According to Johnson and Nagoshi (As cited in Winn & Priest, 1993, p.30), "biracial children who grow up in a nurturing family and in a community where biculturalism is met with acceptance, will experience no greater problems than monocultural children." If we afford a choice, most biracial children would choose to classify themselves as biracial rather than identify with a single racial group. Therefore, it is important to provide biracial children positive role models that include family members, peer group, school and community members (Nishimura, 1995). I believe that if American society pays more attention to those biracial children and help them to develop a healthy sense of themselves, the problems of biracial children will be diminished.
Regarding the field of biracial children's researches, most studies focus on black/white families. It is rare to see the researches that study biracial children of other interracial families such as American and Asian. Would those biracial children have other difficulties of dealing with their racial identities than black/white biracial children? Maybe they have less problems than black/white biracial children. Researchers should be further in the studies of other interracial children except black/white population.
Chi
New member
oh my gosh, TJ................. Posting all that wasn't even necessary.
There is possibility of problems having children, any kind of children, at any time, period. You do know that, right? Let's just cease the human race right now then, living and the world because FYI there is a possibility of problems, hurt and etc with EVERYTHING.
There is possibility of problems having children, any kind of children, at any time, period. You do know that, right? Let's just cease the human race right now then, living and the world because FYI there is a possibility of problems, hurt and etc with EVERYTHING.
timesjoke
Active Members
Obviously it is necessary because you guys are pretending like the problem does not exist and calling me a racist just because I am telling the truth that mixed kids can have more problems than non-mixed kids. It is just crazy that even here on a internet forum you guys are more concerned with being politically correct then reality.
Consider this:
Yes, all kids can have problems, but not this problem, this problem is forced onto the children by their unthinking and uncaring parents.
When even the college professors like the one in this example is pressuring the mixed kids to "choose" a race to identify with, obviously this is a bigger issue than your admitting to, as usual.
Again, my point is about the pain felt by the children who experience difficulty, I don't care about the parents in the slightest.
Chi
New member
Yes, I wish those evil parents to burn in **** for looking past another person's race and creating another life together out of love. Evil bastards die!! They should stick to their own so small-minded people like TJ will feel comfortable and not have to spend sleepless nights worrying about all the mixed-race children out there not "fitting in" - boohoo. We should just abolish the teenage years and all the times people feel like outcasts and like they don't fit in, too tear
My concern lies here.. shudder .. it's not pretty boys and girls.. trust me..
Adult Children of Narcissists - Their Struggle for Self
From the outside, looking in, the narcissist family does not appear dysfunctional. Notice that the N family history - filled with unquestionable mythology - is replayed over and over till it sounds like the truth. No one questions present actions or past history of the narcissist. Guilt plays a big role in the family. Head games are the norm; little routines and pet names are used to brain wash children into thinking they are loved. Nothing is ever given to the child permanently.
http://www.narcissis...sisticpare.html
Narcissists are wholly different. They unconsciously deny an unstated and intolerably poor self-image through inflation. They turn themselves into glittering figures of immense grandeur surrounded by psychologically impenetrable walls. The goal of this self-deception is to be impervious to greatly feared external criticism and to their own roiling sea of doubts.
http://www.zimbio.co...+Their+Struggle
Adult Children of Narcissists - Their Struggle for Self
From the outside, looking in, the narcissist family does not appear dysfunctional. Notice that the N family history - filled with unquestionable mythology - is replayed over and over till it sounds like the truth. No one questions present actions or past history of the narcissist. Guilt plays a big role in the family. Head games are the norm; little routines and pet names are used to brain wash children into thinking they are loved. Nothing is ever given to the child permanently.
http://www.narcissis...sisticpare.html
Narcissists are wholly different. They unconsciously deny an unstated and intolerably poor self-image through inflation. They turn themselves into glittering figures of immense grandeur surrounded by psychologically impenetrable walls. The goal of this self-deception is to be impervious to greatly feared external criticism and to their own roiling sea of doubts.
http://www.zimbio.co...+Their+Struggle
timesjoke
Active Members
All of that is just a copout chi, you refuse to accept reality so it is easier on your politically correct mind to simply toss out accusations of racism.
You did the same thing when you said illegals don't get welfare, you just can't let yourself see the truth, because that truth is not what you want it to be.
I don't hate these parents, I don't want them punnished, I would just like to see these so called "adults" plan ahead for the future of their children, is that really too much to ask chi?
Then again, if thinking was a part of making babies, we would not have 1.4 million abortions every year now would we chi?
Chi
New member
Oh my, you're just all over the place. And yes, unless illegals are using someone else's documents who are eligible or have naturalized children, I don't see how they are eligible for welfare. So moving on your "you just can't let yourself see the truth, because that truth is not what you want it to be." - funny how most people can say that of you.
And why didn't you plan ahead for a better mother and wife for yourself before you are out judging and casting your inane, illogical, non-issue thinking on others?
Excerpts from Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in their Struggle for Self, by Dr. Elan Golomb (1992)
"People who are relatively free of narcissistic traits (most of us have some) do not attempt to place themselves above others. They are unconcerned with such comparisons. They stay in touch with their feelings and try to do their personal best. Their standards are internal and realistic since they have a good idea of who they are and what they can accomplish (such objectivity is not insignificant). They are not free of idealistic wishes and dreams.
Narcissists are wholly different. They unconsciously deny an unstated and intolerably poor self-image through inflation. They turn themselves into glittering figures of immense grandeur surrounded by psychologically impenetrable walls. The goal of this self-deception is to be impervious to greatly feared external criticism and to their own roiling sea of doubts.
This figure of paradox needs to be regarded as perfect by all. To achieve this, he or she constructs an elaborate persona (a social mask which is presented to the world). The persona needs an appreciative audience to applaud it. If enough people do so, the narcissist is relieved that no one can see through his disguise. The persona is a defensive schema to hide behind, like the false-front stores on a Western movie set. When you peer behind the propped-up wall, you find . . . nothing. Similarly, behind the grandiose parading, the narcissist feels empty and devoid of value.
Because his life is organized to deny negative feelings about himself and to maintain an illusion of superiority, the narcissist's family is forcibly conscripted into supporting roles. They have no other option if they wish to get along with him. His mate must be admiring and submissive to keep the marriage going and his children will automatically mold themselves into any image that is projected upon them.
Here the tragedy begins. A narcissist cannot see his children as they are but only as his unconscious needs dictate. He does not question why his children are incredibly wonderful (better than anyone else's) or intolerably horrible (the worst in all respects) or why his view of them ricochets from one extreme to another with no middle ground. It is what they are.
http://www.sustainedaction.org/Exploration/narcissism_and_narcissistic_wounds.htm
"People who are relatively free of narcissistic traits (most of us have some) do not attempt to place themselves above others. They are unconcerned with such comparisons. They stay in touch with their feelings and try to do their personal best. Their standards are internal and realistic since they have a good idea of who they are and what they can accomplish (such objectivity is not insignificant). They are not free of idealistic wishes and dreams.
Narcissists are wholly different. They unconsciously deny an unstated and intolerably poor self-image through inflation. They turn themselves into glittering figures of immense grandeur surrounded by psychologically impenetrable walls. The goal of this self-deception is to be impervious to greatly feared external criticism and to their own roiling sea of doubts.
This figure of paradox needs to be regarded as perfect by all. To achieve this, he or she constructs an elaborate persona (a social mask which is presented to the world). The persona needs an appreciative audience to applaud it. If enough people do so, the narcissist is relieved that no one can see through his disguise. The persona is a defensive schema to hide behind, like the false-front stores on a Western movie set. When you peer behind the propped-up wall, you find . . . nothing. Similarly, behind the grandiose parading, the narcissist feels empty and devoid of value.
Because his life is organized to deny negative feelings about himself and to maintain an illusion of superiority, the narcissist's family is forcibly conscripted into supporting roles. They have no other option if they wish to get along with him. His mate must be admiring and submissive to keep the marriage going and his children will automatically mold themselves into any image that is projected upon them.
Here the tragedy begins. A narcissist cannot see his children as they are but only as his unconscious needs dictate. He does not question why his children are incredibly wonderful (better than anyone else's) or intolerably horrible (the worst in all respects) or why his view of them ricochets from one extreme to another with no middle ground. It is what they are.
http://www.sustainedaction.org/Exploration/narcissism_and_narcissistic_wounds.htm
timesjoke
Active Members
Everyone, even eddo has tried to inform you that illegals still get welfare but your need to believe everyone is racist does not let you accept the truth Chi, I understand your feeling a great deal of connection and even sympathy for people of your race, I also feel bad for these people who are mostly just looking to improve their life but at the same time we have to understand there are limits to everything, we have reached the end of how many illegals we can support, the money is gone and we have to make tough decisions as to who we give priority to, Americans who need help or illegals who need help.
I did what any human can do, we shared many interests including our faith, she got depressed, walked away from our faith and walked away from our marriage, sometimes people change, there is no real explanation for it but I do know that she rejected my requests for counseling and time to see if we could repair our marriage and find her a path back to ***. She got pregnant by the other man, the other man died and only then did she make a attempt to come back but at that point she had already done irreparable damage to the marriage, without trust there is no basis of marriage.
All people make mistakes in life, I made a lot of them in my life and still do. Sharing what we learned from our mistakes is a good thing.
