confusion = bad.

[BlOnDe4Lp]

okay so.. i just want your opinion on what i should do basically. well, not do.. but just yeah.

so i broke up with my now ex boyfriend, cameron, three and a half months ago. well, i didn't BREAK UP with him, i said we should take a break and then three days later he was like "well then we should just end it, its stupid" (he was REALLY mad at me." i kinda just stopped liking him and.. as usual (this always happens) after i broke up with him i started liking him again and he liked me too, he just didn't want to get back together. then i figure out that the day after we broke up he hung out with his ex girlfriend, ashley. okay so i just ignored it. and things were really awkward between us but i kinda pressured him into staying friends with me and we had our dramatic moments and stuff with the crying and the blah blah blah. right so we become better friends than we were when he was going out with me and then he starts going out with ashley and by this time, i was over him. it was a good month and a half after we broke up. right so then he starts thinking that he's in love with ashley and stuff and makes up all these stories in his head and over exagerates the "proof" that they are meant to be together such as they have the same birthday and they met on accident and stuff, incredibly stupid stuff but i'm supporting him because i'm his friend. so she breaks up with him about a month ago because they don't get to hang out enough and she goes out with HER ex a day after they break up and he's completely heartbroken. so i hang out with him a few days later and we just talk about everything and he starts talking about our past relationship and stuff and asking stuff like "would you have broken up with me if we didn't see eachother as much?" and weird things. okay so then we hung out a few days later and all he talks about is our past relationship and we start talking about relationships in general and who we like and i said "well i think i'm just waiting for the right person.. no one really likes me" and blah blah blah so then he says "well we could go out but you don't think of me like that anymore" and i just looked at him like "" and we kept talking about stupid stuff. so then we watched a movie and he was all trying to cuddle with me in the theater and stuff and.. me being a submissive person.. i just went along with it. keep in mind though.. this guy is a BIG flirt. he flirts with a lot of people. even guys but he's straight.. its weird.

so.. basically.. i want to know what to think.. and if you all think he still has feelings for me? i'm basically just curious.. and this was really long. Sorry!

 

[allieking]

this guy sounds like he doesn't like being alone, it ended with you so he went back with his ex only for her to dump him, then he asks you back. hes scared to not have anyone and i think if a random girl came up to him and asked him out he would say yes. i'm not saying he doesn't find you attractive, he proberbly does but do you wanna be with someone just because they are lonely?

i think you should have a chat with him about it.

 

[crazy robster]

Yeah, basically I'll repeat what Allie said. The guy doesn't really look for something deep and meaningful, he only cares about having a girlfriend next to him. Between us, he seems quite immature and unstable but it's up to you whether you like his character or not. As for his feelings? I 'd say he doesn't even know what he wants...If you think, nonetheless, that you want him back just talk to him about it...

 

[Ravynlee]

I don't usually do this but for once I'm gonna have to follow the crowd on this one. What Allie and JoJo said seems right, and it seems logical to me as well. I take it you're both young and neither one of you quite know 100% what you want. The fact he's flirting with others, regardless as to whether that's 'just him' or not I think is irrelevant. He seems to be playing the field in this attempt to discover himself. I'm not saying you shouldn't go out with him again or anything but if you do keep in mind he may not have his full attention on you. Nothing's set in concrete here. He may like you more than just as a friend but personally I've found it difficult to remain a true friend to someone after you've taken that step beyond mere friendship. What you sacrifice you never get back, things change and not always for the better. Not always for the worst either. But you need to be realistic here. I don't mean to sound cold but you shouldn't be sending out mixed messages either. Don't act submissove if you don't want to lose control of the situation. And don't wait to see what he wants, decide what you want and take it from there. If you take the initiative and confront him about how you really feel he will either A) make up his mind to be with you for real or B) cut his losses and if able maintain your friendship as you apparently have, leaving you room to explore other options for yourself when and if they come along.

It may seem abrupt but it's been my experience that guys need to know where they stand in a relationship. There's no rule book that desiphers our moods and our little unspoken signals that we unconciously use on the opposite sex. It can be down right confusing. You have to go about this in an appropriate manner, but being that you are friends and know him pretty well you should know how to approach the subject without causing too much friction between you. Even if the outcome isn't what you expect at least it should make things clearer for you and ease some of this confusion you're going through.

One thing I can't stand is women leaving 'the decision making' up to the male of the species. It's not about what he wants, its about what you want. Period. Take control or he can keep you in a state of confusion for as long as it takes for him to figure himself out. By then the chance at happiness may have passed for you. You never know.
What have you got to lose?

 

[BlOnDe4Lp]

haha well considering that three people basically have the same idea about the subject i'll be thinking about that for the rest of the day. he wants to hang out on saturday and i'll be sure to bring it up there (there being wherever we go).

and yeah, we are kinda young (depending on how young you consider young.. him being 18 and me being 16) and he does seem like the type of person who doesn't know what he wants.. but he say lately that he's found himself? oh well? i'm kinda a romantic more than a cynical person.. i like to think that people have better intentions than what they really do whether it be consious or subconsious.

and again, yes, i know that being submissive is a bad thing but hey, we all have our faults and it is something i'm trying to work on. i've always been like that its just kinda gotten the best of me.

thanks for the help everyone. i'm going to keep an open mind to everything that you all have said.

 

[allieking]

good luck hun hope everything goes well

 

[Shadowed Heart]

this guy sounds like he doesn't like being alone, it ended with you so he went back with his ex only for her to dump him, then he asks you back. hes scared to not have anyone and i think if a random girl came up to him and asked him out he would say yes. i'm not saying he doesn't find you attractive, he proberbly does but do you wanna be with someone just because they are lonely?

i think you should have a chat with him about it.

I feel that way sometimes. O_O
I'm afraid of being alone (although... I am)

But yeah...
I think you should talk to him about it and ask him if he really likes you that way, or if he just wants a girlfriend..

 

[BlOnDe4Lp]

I feel that way sometimes. O_O
I'm afraid of being alone (although... I am)

yeah i think that everyone at one point or another has been afraid of being alone.

 

[Mad4lp]

Shurley discusing about this witht he guy would help.