Family Guilt

[Vortex]

We all have it.......it seems so unatural, yet the norm all the same right?



I just got a freaking letter from my father.........my incredibly rich father who is worth close to one billion dollars.

I borrowed money from him a year and a half ago (5 thou...not that much in his scheme of things)........and paid him about 700 so far back. the deal was give him 100 a month till it was paid off. So thats about 1200 a year, making it about 4 and a half years to pay it off.

Well i have more or less made up my mind that i am moving back home to Omaha once my job opens their store there in july of 2006...i might even be a manager (shreeek...90k a year even)......So my plan was to move back in with a parental unit and pay him his money back within one year of that.........technically about 2 years early.......yet i (just now infact) opend a letter from him that sais this

Hi Son,
Im dissapointed that your word is no good. Learning from mom huh? 100/and no repayement means 100/mo(not sure on that sentence)
Do you want to talk about it
Dad

my father despises my mother but is free to bitch about it to her if i dont give a multi millionaire 100 this month his "due".


i have every intention of paying it back....and its going to be early. I told my sister (whos husband is his Number 2 man at his business)....it should have filtered to him some how.....

but my father is very scary (basically i have been told the girl Cher on the movie clueless, her father is just like mine........even in looks) Its not an easy thing to say.....


**** it...i feel like the biggest piece of wasted garbage right now after reading that, even tho my intentions are to end the loan early and get it paid off and move closer to them because i miss my family very dearly...and now im fighting the tears away.......And my dad is even okay.....better than okay infact with the gay thing. Its not even an issue

**** family guilt......ill never borrow again from them and just figure some way to make it and not piss them off. Apparently ill never be good enough and thats fine.....because at least im happy........

..happy without their guilt

 

[builder]

**** worrying about it. Your tears are wasted, Vorty.

Did your Dad earn his money? Or was he born into it?

Rich people don't get rich by being generous. Generally they are ruthless, heartless, domineering narcissists. Yes, that is a sweeping generalisation, and no, I know ****-all about your situation.

My family is middle-class. The tension between the wannabe's in this fam usually comes to a head Christmas evening. The one day of the year when we all get together, the haves and the wanna haves get nasty. ****ing pathetic is what that **** is.

I see it coming, and round up the young kids for a stroll down to the park.

We are born naked and broke. We go out the same way.

Take out a personal loan and send your old man the whole lot in one hit. The intersest you have to pay is your pennance for assuming that the greedy old ***** prizes his son over his money.

 

[phreakwars]

One thing about growing up poor, we never fought about money or loans, we each knew our place in the world and respected each other as individuals.

My brother however, has turned into a ****ing snob. He makes a decent $70k a year with him and his wife working, and is now able to afford to have all the things he never had as a child and loves to show off.

Needless to say, I never speak with him much... oh were not fighting or anything, but I choose to keep my life as realistic and humble as possible.

The conservative in me does not let me commit my life to such things as $700 a month house payments with 2 car payments of about $400 each and credit card spending up the ass, buying **** I don't need... quite simply, I choose not to spend money I don't have.

I instead invest and save my money, bought a cheap house, and live life happy instead of paycheck to paycheck all to impress myself.

And hell, they FIGHT all the time, my wife and I NEVER fight, we only disagree.

My wife and I find it quite sad, that his wife, who is still in her 20's, has all kinds of grey hair, and just looks way too stressed out... but then, it's like I told my mom... that is the price that some people will pay for "THE GOOD LIFE"

Ain't that the MOTTO of Nebraska ?? "NEBRASKA, THE GOOD LIFE"

Well sure it is, Nebraska is ****ing GREAT if you wanna live a down home simple life... But it is HELL if you wanna think your important to yourself.

So **** your dad and his guilt trip Vortey, as long as your happy with how life treats you, then you don't need to please anybody or conform to there standards of "family value, AND business practice" to be accepted.
.
.

 

[bec]

Borrowing from family is always a bad idea. Problems always arise.

I was going to ask you how old you were but I saw it.

You promised to pay your father so much a month and if you didn't follow through, you are the one in the wrong. Do you think it would be any different if you got a loan at the bank? Just because he is family doesn't give you the right to back out of a deal.

Did you even bother to tell him what your plans were before you got this letter? If you didn't, then how was he to know that your intentions were good? From his side, he just sees you taking advantage of him and his kindness.

 

[tizz]

I have to agree with Phreak. When you grow with nothing, money is a non-issue (outside of what oyu need to survive) You give it when you can, loan it (and unless it put you out hard, let it go as long as need be) and what you don't have in dollars you have in amazing memories of having the best (cheapest ) vacations that will still put you in stitches durung a nostalgic moment (My friends with money always complained how their vacations sucked. We would take the tent and the coleman stove spend a week in the woods and do nothing but laugh smile and love) Money is just a non-issue when you don't have any.

 

[TheJenn88]

aw, babe
-hug-

 

[Elmoish]

We all have it.......it seems so unatural, yet the norm all the same right?



I just got a freaking letter from my father.........my incredibly rich father who is worth close to one billion dollars.

I borrowed money from him a year and a half ago (5 thou...not that much in his scheme of things)........and paid him about 700 so far back. the deal was give him 100 a month till it was paid off. So thats about 1200 a year, making it about 4 and a half years to pay it off.

Well i have more or less made up my mind that i am moving back home to Omaha once my job opens their store there in july of 2006...i might even be a manager (shreeek...90k a year even)......So my plan was to move back in with a parental unit and pay him his money back within one year of that.........technically about 2 years early.......yet i (just now infact) opend a letter from him that sais this

Hi Son,
Im dissapointed that your word is no good. Learning from mom huh? 100/and no repayement means 100/mo(not sure on that sentence)
Do you want to talk about it
Dad

my father despises my mother but is free to bitch about it to her if i dont give a multi millionaire 100 this month his "due".


i have every intention of paying it back....and its going to be early. I told my sister (whos husband is his Number 2 man at his business)....it should have filtered to him some how.....

but my father is very scary (basically i have been told the girl Cher on the movie clueless, her father is just like mine........even in looks) Its not an easy thing to say.....


**** it...i feel like the biggest piece of wasted garbage right now after reading that, even tho my intentions are to end the loan early and get it paid off and move closer to them because i miss my family very dearly...and now im fighting the tears away.......And my dad is even okay.....better than okay infact with the gay thing. Its not even an issue

**** family guilt......ill never borrow again from them and just figure some way to make it and not piss them off. Apparently ill never be good enough and thats fine.....because at least im happy........

..happy without their guilt

Why are you whining about how horrid guilt is? Just pay your debt. Your Dad did nothing wrong here. Pay up if you borrowed money.

 

[skategreen]

**** family guilt......ill never borrow again from them and just figure some way to make it and not piss them off.

I'm sorry for the troubles.

Finances and family...much like gasoline and matches...a show waiting to happen.... I think your conclusion above is spot on.

Sometimes I look at my family..extended family, and think, "Jesus Christ, it's an ABC movie of the week" (or at least a daytime talk show episode)...

But since it's the only family I got..and they're droppin like flies some years...
I takes what I can get.

..that means knowing and predicting each one, and dealing accordingly, so that I can have a time with each one, that is as stress free as possible.

See, I can't stop loving them, no matter how weird/screwed up/unfair, etc, they can be.

It doesn't work. Even when the big sis is being a total bitch, I know that I'll be happier, if I can get her chilled and yakkin about something inane, than if I just say screw it and blow the scene.

So V - you're wonderful and cool...and they love you too. They can't stop. Even when they're being ****ed up with you, they don't really stop loving you. Just like....you love them.

You'll do just fine. Hell, you've got GF on your side!

(a class act!)

 

[phreakwars]

You'll do just fine. Hell, you've got GF on your side!

(a class act!)

Yeah, you fight with your GF family all the time too, and seem to like the punishment, why let a real life family spoil your mood too ??

Do like me and laugh them off.... and smoke a bowl or 2.

Pay the ****er back as YOU have planned. If you didn't sign a ****ing contract, Judge Judy would say it was a gift anyway.

Your being NICE by paying it back AS YOU CAN !!

What more can one ask ??

I've waited 3 years for a chick who owed me $460 to pay me back. I know how life is, so I didn't hold it against her, eventually she was able to return it. Didn't bug me in the least, not like my ****ing life was depending on her paying me back.
.
.

 

[Vortex]

well im fully aware i am in the wrong....i just thought expected a bit more...

maybe a phone call....not an impersonal letter on his companies letterhead

I just happened to open that stupid "letter" up while i was on wypo and under the influence and was upset and needed to vent

im sure everything will be fine. I just need to call him (after i get my cell phone back lol....sorta left it in a cab 2 days ago)


man i have a psycho family....why am i wanting to move closer to them again....shrug


oh and thank you!

 

[tizz]

Ya those business letters from family SUCK ASS!!!! Got one for my 18th b-day from my pop LOL 5 weeks late and all I got was a badly written business letter. Hold onto to it for laughs later though

 

[Lethalfind]

Vorty, I feel your pain. I have issues with my family as well. I have never felt good enough. I have moved far away and they still have a way of reaching out and grabbing me through the phone.

When I figure out how to extract this glitch in my programming, I will pass it along to you so you can put a stop to it as well.
I do my best to ignore them, they are like a drowning person who is trying their best to take me down with them. If I pull myself up, they hang on a little tighter because they don't want to be alone in their drowning.
I call where they live Disfunction Junction.