Hyper's [JouRnaL] v2

[misery]

Wow.. I'm in a very similar situation. And by very similar, I mean the just about the exact same thing (generally, not when you look at details..), just with 3 girls instead of 2. So I know how confusing and frustrating it can be. In fact, I was debating whether or not to revive my journal to let it all out.. but anyways.

My best advice is, even though this will be hipocritical of me to say, is to just forget about the issues, and ask yourself, plain and simple, which you like better. That's the only thing I can really say. Well, good luck with the whole thing :thumbsup:

 

[Hyper]

Well, if I look at it on who I'd rather be with. Sam. But I don't think I have a chance with her. I'm pretty sure I have a chance with Karrina tho. Chance as in, my feelings are mirrored.

 

[misery]

Yea, I can relate with that too, lol. I only have a chance with one of the three girls I'm interested in. I don't know what to do myself, so I really can't help you, lol.. once again, my only advice is kind of hipocritical, but, I would say go with Karrina and your feelings for Sam will hopefully end up fading. But, unfortunately, it's easier said than done, heh.

 

[Hyper]

Yeah, but the thing is, I'd really really really really like it sooo much better to be with Sam. Which kinda.. kills the fade-ability of the feelings.

 

[misery]

Well.. ****. lol. That proves to be quite a problem. I dunno.. try to get to know Sam better, try to get her interested in you. That's really all I can say, lol. Good luck..

 

[Hyper]

And now I'll need to actually be able to talk to her lol. She's always surrounded by friends. Why is it the ones that are hardest to talk to are the ones you start to fall for hardest?

 

[Hyper]

Okay, no real stressful situations from today.

I got to go over to my brother's apartment for a while. My mother forced me to come home because of some unifinished homework. On a Sunday. When Monday is a Holiday.

I don't have to work tomorrow, so I'll be able to sleep in.

My, oh my. What kind of journal entry would this be if it didn't involve a girl?

Okay, so one of the girls I've been growing closer to, Erica (the lesbian), has been increasingly talking to me. Ever since I professed my interest in Sam.

All I've been able to think of recently is Sam. Thanks to Erica. Now, I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I don't know if it's a good thing.

Sam seems like an awesome girl, but, just the way that I can't get her out of my head is a bad omen. In my opinion at least. What to do, oh what to do.

Yeah, so I pretty much hate being single with a passion.

I dread wakig up and going to school. Even though a relationship is the only thing I can complain about, it's the only thing that really matters.

So on top of that stressful state of mind, I've decided I'm going to buy a car. I have to somehow talk my parents into either matching me or coughing up a good chunk of change that I'll end up repaying. I'm sick of not being completely self dependent. I have a job for the money, but I don't have a sure-fire way to get to work.

So yeah, dilemma's dilemma's dilemma's.

This concludes my journal entry.

--Isaac

 

[misery]

Meh, depends how everything turns out if it's a good thing or a bad thing, lol. (always thinking of Sam, that is.) If you're letting it get in the way of other stuff, then yea, it's probably a bad thing. But if you end up getting together with her, then it's not a problem, lol.

Well, good luck getting your car :thumbsup: Take care.

 

[Hyper]

Yeah, the problem is "Isaac + Sam = ???" I'm pretty sure things won't work out in my favor. It's normal. But it sucks, like always.

And I was so caught up in my female issues, I forgot to mention >> I'm revitalizing the forums I had that failed a while back. This time I'll keep up with them lol.

 

[misery]

Ooo, I think I remember that. You mean the ones with the Gamerenders skin and stuff?

 

[Hyper]

Yeah that one. But this one has a diff skin. Eventually I'll re-skin it. Or have Hudson do it.

 

[misery]

Sweet, looking forward to it re-opening

 

[Hyper]

Yeah, all I'm doing now is working on setting everything up. Not sure when the 'Grand Re-Opening' will be

 

[stupidsoul1]

Congrats on the forums.
I think you need to sit down and think what you want.

I mean it is all well and good for us to read what is on your mind and then tell you what we think.
But on reading woody's journal i realised that half the things in there is just a perception of what she thinks has happened (in reference to the fight we had)no offence to her but it is the truth.

We don't know any of the three girls so no matter what we say that could some how influence your thoughts in the end it is you that has to deeply think not just about their personalities or how they look not even long term things that you could end up doing with them.

Just think about what you want and then go for it, if their friends are always talking to them just go in the middle of the conversation and ask her if she would like to hang out with you sometime...or go out with her friends with your friends or something.
As long as you get to hang out with her,even if there is a whole bunch of people there atleast you can see what she is like not just in that school type situation.

 

[Hyper]

Eh, how about another journal entry. I should do headers, like I used to, and like Matt does, but, IDK, lol.


Anyways, I can't seem to shake relationships from my mind. It seems everywhere I look I convert what I see into a relationship. My mouse and keyboard. My shoes and socks. My money and wallet. All the soda cans around my room are in pairs. I look at the wall, light and dark.

IDK, I think I'm a little.. stressed right now. I finally finished downloading Rammstein - Rosenrot. Good album. I can't understand a thing they say, which I like, because it shows that I actually like the music. Not the words.

I don't know if I've already posted this part, but..

I've decided I'm saving my money up, not for a computer like I had planned, but for a car. I need to be more self dependant. I can drive, yes, but what use is being an expert marksman, if all you have as a weapon is a knife?

So now I'm on the prowl for a car. Hopefully a Honda. A manual Honda. I can't stand automatics, so I don't think driving one as my primary car is going to go over well with my likings.

But yeah, I've fallen back into the emo state of mind. Nothing cheers me up. I played Counter-Strike for three hours, not a one happy feeling. I talked to Cassie, the girl I can talk to about anything, without being judged. Nothing. No, I don't have feelings for Cassie. That ship has already sailed.

IDK, the more and more I talk to Erica about Sam. The less and less I believe anything can happen. Whenever someone tries to cheer me up, and give me all these great things to look forward to, nothing ends up working out.

I can picture Sam's face right now. Her smile. Her eyes. Her hair. And it just kinda seems too distant. She doesn't even know that I'm interested. I don't think I've told you guys that part. All Sam sees me as, to the best of my knowledge, is the soccer manager.

Okay, well I'm gonna go sulk.

This concludes my journal entry.

--Isaac

 

[misery]

Ooo, my Honda Civic is manual I don't like automatics either, not enough driver involvement. Manuals are just more fun.

Wow, your situation with Sam reminds me an awful lot about how my situation with Jolynne was. Haha, from how you describe her, they seem to have similar appearances too. This probably isn't helping at all, given how it turned out with me and her though.. that by no way means that you and Sam can never happen though. I know I've said this before, but GOOD LUCK :thumbsup: And hope you feel better.

 

[Hyper]

Ooo, my Honda Civic is manual I don't like automatics either, not enough driver involvement. Manuals are just more fun.

Wow, your situation with Sam reminds me an awful lot about how my situation with Jolynne was. Haha, from how you describe her, they seem to have similar appearances too. This probably isn't helping at all, given how it turned out with me and her though.. that by no way means that you and Sam can never happen though. I know I've said this before, but GOOD LUCK :thumbsup: And hope you feel better.

the bold white underlined text is why i hate automatics, verbatim.

With Sam.. eh, I know I don't really have a fighting chance. Which is what's keeping me from doing something stupid when that conjecture is confirmed tomorrow.

 

[Hyper]

Okay, so it looks like lady luck wants to get into my pants. Things with Sam are starting to look up. When I told Erica that I had an interest in Sam, I also told her my weakness -- not being able to actually talk to girls. Gorgeous ones, like Sam, at that.

So in my head a well design plan hatched. To have Erica tell Sam how I felt, acting like I didn't know. It was brilliant.

I talked to Erica, "Anything to help out an awesome guy like you." she said. Today was the day of reckoning and judgement.

She told her at lunch. The reply, that I was informed of anyways, was something along the lines of "Aww."

Now, doesn't seem like it's gonna work out from that now does it?

Well, at the game, which we won 5-0 **** YES! I got to converse with Sam. She's a Freshman, in all the normal classes as well. So I seem so freakin smart to her. I also found out that smart guys are a turn-on for her.

SCORE: Isaac - 1; No Sam - 0

Nothing, too complicated came up. Just random bullshitting. She kept staring into my eyes. Even when we weren't talking. Now, normally if a girl were to stare back at me, I'd divert my eyes to something else. But I didn't this time, and I felt so wonderful. That sounds fruity, I know, but hey, it's the truth.

She laughed at everything I said. No matter how stupid, silly, dumb, whatever it was. That's got to be a good sign. Laughter is always a sign of being comfortable.

SCORE: Isaac - 2; No Sam - 0

So yeah, now I'm home. I had some food. I'm about to go sack out. I had a wonderful day. Nothing was really out of the ordinary. Except for the fact that I actually talked to Sam. Which, I guess holds the power to make or break my day.

We'll see what happens next time Sam and I talk, which will probably be on Friday, at the next soccer game. I see her at school, at lunch anyways. But I've started going off campus for lunch (yes, we're allowed to do that, open campus lunch ROCKS). So I don't get to see her. Which isn't a plus, but I mean, don't want to come on too strong.

And I just realized how much this is starting to seem like the Jolynne effects from Matt's life. A girl, close-ish friend, talks of being hooked up with a gorgeous girl. WHATEVER, different outcome. I hope.

Anyways, time for bed.

This concludes my journal entry.

--Isaac

 

[misery]

Well, glad things are starting to look up for you and Sam About the eyes, yes, definately a good sign. About the laughter, yes, definately a good sign. Sounds like you guys are already quite comfortable with eachother, which is awesome.

And, yes, it does still sound like my situation with Jolynne before. But I really hope, and think, that it will turn out differently.

Good luck Sounds like things are working out pretty good

 

[Hyper]

Date: January 18, 2006
Entry Number: Eleven (11)
Mood: Happy
Listening to: Rammstein - Hilf Mir

Okay, so I caved. Back to the numberin n datin and moodin. Haha. Okay, so here's what happened today.

This morning: I woke up at 6:30 am. A nice start for my day. I never wake up this early. Seeing as how I had so much extra time, I decided to hop in the shower. Wow, it was the most relaxing event that's happened to me in a while. Not taking the shower, more like the thoughts that ran through my head, and the steam, oh, it was beautiful.

So I got out of the shower. Got dressed. Soon as I got my shoes on, my ride showed up. Talk about perfect timing. So we went to school. Nothing exciting happened on the ride there.

School: So we got to school around 7:15 am. Conference hour (half hour given to students to go get help from teachers. Or, as my friends and I use it, just to hang out.) was about fifteen minutes from starting. So my crew, yes, crew, and I, went to our hallway.

The story behind the hallway: Last year we got kicked out of the cafeteria. My friend Will was throwing a napkin at me. We were playing catch. He got nailed for throwing it. He got kicked out. Which, in essence, meant the whole group got kicked out.

So we sought out a new place to hang out. Which is when we stumbled upon our hallway. We've been there since Early October, Sophomore year (2004).

Conference Hour: Conference hour started at 7:35 am. Nothing real eventful happened. Just a lot of lazy teenage kids doin what they do best, chillax.

Second Hour (first hour of the day, but second hour of the full schedule, today was block): The bell rang at 8:00 am sharp. So I trudged my ass down the hall to my English class. We had homework due today that I didn't know about. You can imagine my surprise. So we went over that. Did some freewrite stuff. Then we played trashketball to review for our vocab test.

The last question in trashketball was up for grabs for my team. So I stood up to go take the shot and answer the question, when some stupid ass black kid shoves me back into my desk. My teacher saw that, and was like "Mikhail, no. Isaac gets the question." So this fool turns around, rolls up his sleeves and starts tryin to be a hard ass to me. So I stand up. Now imagine this, a 6'4" hawaiian kid, towering over a 5'8" black kid. I had his ass. Game, set, match.

Needless to say, the whole class laughed at him. He ****in took three steps back and said I could have it. So I answer the question right, and then my shot. This ****in, I'll refrain from the racist terms, kid, slaps me in the forehead. Everyone starts roarin with laughter. They thought it was funny. I didn't. I stood up, Mikhail turned around, and I gave him the hardest shove I've given anyone in a while. He left the ground. He went flying into the wall. Nailed the wall, cracked it with his head (it was the crappy plywood but harder substance). The class stopped laughing. Mikhail ran out of the class.

Fourth Hour: The bell rang for fourth hour at 9:52 am. I was still pissed off from second hour. My History teacher knew it. He spared me his ritualistic "Hello there Mr. Kauwe, don't we look mighty peachy today!"

Anyways, I had a test in there. I aced it, which surprised me, seeing as how pissed off I was. The class went by relatively fast. I learned how to read the stock market a hell of a lot better than I knew. I also learned key investment tips that I'll definately benefit from. Thanks Mr. Nardi.

Lunch: The lunch bell rang at 11:37 am. I went and found Will and Jeff. It was only going to be us three going out to lunch today. We went to Jack in the Box (a burger joint) and got some burgers. While we were there, I got hit on by some chick. It was the funniest thing ever. All the dorky want-to-be-suave things you can imagine guys doing, she did. Needless to say, I ended up walking out of there with her number. She forced it on me.

So that put me in a good mood. Being hit on is always great. Even tho, it never really happened to me until I got my haircut this year haha. So we're going back to school. We get there. I'm walkin across the campus to go get a soda from the vending machine, and guess who I happen to walk by. Mikhail. Him and his pack of black friends.

One of his buddies starts hoppin around, and hops into me. Now, I'm still in a somewhat good mood, but I wasn't in the mood to take crap. So I shoved his ass off of me hard. Needless to say, the kid biffs it. Lands on his back and slides a good three feet. I kept walking. Will caught up to me and told me that the dude jumped up ready to fight. But one of the other guys said to him "Yo dude that's the nig*** that shoved Mikhail. Don't mess with him."

That right there made me laugh. People are afraid of me. I guess it's just a thing where you actually need to know me to not be afraid of me. Because even my brother, one of the biggest hard asses that I know, said that if he didn't know me, he'd be intimidated.

Sixth Hour: So I get to sixth hour. Physics. Not the kinda class you want to be in when you're in an angered mood. Regardless, I was there we were going to discuss the lab we did on Friday. So we do that, discuss discuss discuss, no realy big events there.

School got out at 2:00 pm.

Will drove me home. I got ready for work. My brother took me to work.

I get to work at 3:00 pm. Granted, it took about a half hour for me to get home. So I had an hour to kill before I could clock in. So I whipped out my iPod and listened to some Rammstein.

OH! My iSkin came today. So now my iPod looks so sexy.

Back on topic. I was listening to some Rammstein when, yes, you guessed it, a girl came up and started talking to me. Now, if a girl starts talking to you when it's obvious you're listening to music, is that hitting on you? I think it is.

So I talked to her for a while. Shot the **** for about forty five minutes. I gave her my number. She asked. I obliged.

I started work at 4:00 pm. I had carts right away. So that killed an hour. Nothing too eventful happened. Except for the fact that I was in an incredibly happy mood. I think it's because Sam and I talked yesterday. Yes, I'm still into her, the girls from today are only going to be friends. If that. Because, I mean, what if they only want to talk to me beacuse of my sexy bod HAHA as if.

So yeah, I got off work at 10:00 pm. Got home around 10:10 pm. Took a shower and here I am.

I've been thinking again. Thinking about how I can end up with Sam. I need to actually talk to her. Have an involved conversation so she can get to know me. I've had a lesbian chick tell me that if she wasn't gay, she'd want to date me, because of my personality. She said I almost turned her straight because of who I am. That's really heart warming, in that whole, OMG you're gay, kind of way.

So yeah, I'm quite content right now. That'll change soon I bet.

This concludes my journal entry.

--Isaac