I'll put ya'll in your ****ing place.

I don't want to be rude or disrespectful, and I indubitably don't want to start an argument, but Capt. Spalding is the type of person who would shoot you just to see if his gun worked. You see, I clearly believe that the older Capt. Spalding gets, the more insincere he becomes. And because of that belief, I'm going to throw politeness and inoffensiveness to the winds. In this letter, I'm going to be as rude and crude as I know how, to reinforce the point that Capt. Spalding should learn to appreciate what he has instead of feeling so oppressed because he can't do everything he wants, every time he wants to. Woe to the tendentious braggadocios who popularize a genre of music whose graphic lyrics explicitly urge the worst sorts of pouty pests there are to force women to live by restrictive standards not applicable to men! I hope I don't need to remind you that it is probably safe to assume that I am quite certain that "noisome", "spleeny", and "wanton" seem the most appropriate adjectives to describe his op-ed pieces, but it's still true, and we must do something about it. Personally, I don't expect Capt. Spalding to give up his crusade to seek temporary tactical alliances with feral bludgers in order to threaten national security. But we'll see.
I have taken the liberty of letting Capt. Spalding know that I indeed dislike him. Likes or dislikes, however, are irrelevant to observed facts, such as that Capt. Spalding is an inspiration to irritating rascals everywhere. They panegyrize his crusade to gag the innocent accused from protesting teetotalism-motivated prosecutions and, more importantly, they don't realize that I frequently talk about how discourteous, squalid misers would be far more bearable if they didn't gain a virtual stranglehold on many facets of our educational system. I would drop the subject, except that everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, "The Naked Aggression of Spalding". In it, I chronicle all of Capt. Spalding's conjectures, from the pharisaical to the morally questionable, and conclude that it has been brought to my attention that we must do away with the misconception that we have too much freedom. While this is undoubtedly true, I am certain that if I asked the next person I meet if he would want Capt. Spalding to replace law and order with anarchy and despotism, he would say no. Yet we all stand idly by while Capt. Spalding claims that all major world powers are controlled by a covert group of "insiders". Capt. Spalding is inherently pugnacious, viperine, and annoying. Oh, and he also has a self-righteous mode of existence. His nasty dream is starting to come true. Liberties are being killed by attrition. Nepotism is being installed by accretion. The only way that we can reverse these cruel trends is to offer a framework for discussion so that we can more quickly reach a consensus. To be precise, some hopeless, jackbooted Neanderthals actually aver that his vices are the only true virtues. This is the kind of muddled thinking that he is encouraging with his ****-and-bull stories. Even worse, all those who raise their voice against this brainwashing campaign are denounced as prudish busybodies.
No one can deny that Capt. Spalding is like a parrot that makes noises for attention without any kind of clue as to what it is saying, yet Capt. Spalding ignores the most basic ground rule of debate. In case you're not familiar with it, that rule is: attack the idea, not the person. I have seen and heard enough. Now, it is time to refute his arguments line by line and claim by claim. Pyrrhonism is a crime, an outrage, and a delusion. Period, finis, and Q.E.D.
Capt. Spalding once said that he defends the real needs of the working class. Oh, please. I'm just glad I hadn't eaten dinner right before I heard him say that. Otherwise, I'd probably still be vomiting too hard to tell you that Capt. Spalding says that 75 million years ago, a galactic tyrant named Xenu solved the overpopulation problem of his 76-planet federation by transporting the excess people to Earth, chaining them to volcanoes, and dropping H-bombs on them. Wow! Isn't that like hiding the stolen goods in the closet and, when the cops come in, standing in front of the closet door and exclaiming, "They're not in here!"?
Let me go on record as saying that what I have been writing up to this point is not what I initially intended to write in this letter. Instead, I decided it would be far more productive to tell you that I am not concerned with rumors or hearsay about Capt. Spalding. I am interested only in ascertained facts attested by published documents, and in these primarily as an illustration that if you were to try to tell Capt. Spalding's companions that he should just quit whining about everything, they'd close their eyes and put their hands over their ears. They are, as the psychologists say, in denial. They don't want to hear that if anything will free us from the shackles of Capt. Spalding's incorrigible ruses, it's knowledge of the world as it really is. It's knowledge that what really irks me is that he has presented us with a Hobson's choice. Either we let him devise self-satisfied scams to get money for nothing or he'll hammer a few more nails into the coffin of freedom. Anyway, the consequence of all this is that the tone of Capt. Spalding's inveracities is eerily reminiscent of that of twisted agitators of the late 1940s, in the sense that a central fault line runs through each of Capt. Spalding's activities. Specifically, Capt. Spalding likes to compare his tracts to those that shaped this nation. The comparison, however, doesn't hold up beyond some uselessly broad, superficial similarities that are so vague and pointless, it's not even worth summarizing them. One final point: Capt. Spalding is immovably entrenched in his shiftless, misguided philosophical positions.
.
.
 
Skaterdude409 said:
if you did then you would know that size matters not in a fight
Click to expand...
Absolutely not. I have a male friend who is about 5' 5" and 125 pounds. Tiny little dude. But man, can the kid fight. He's a strong little mother ****er. I know I sure as hell wouldn't mess with him.
 
I remember seeing a 5'3" Mexican pound the living **** out of a 6'4" dude at a bar once in the bathroom... it was funny as hell, the bigger guy was flipping the little mexican **** for the longest time trying to taunt him... then, a while after that, the guy goes to the bathroom, the little mexican sees him go in and follows him... next thing you know, the dumb ass redneck is lying knocked the **** out on the bathroom floor.

Moral of the story.... **** talk is not a replacement for sheer talent.
.
.
 
Let me clue you in on something... around here... your brute strength means nothing... and I bet that frustrates you, because you know that in a battle of wits, you're an unarmed man!

Grow the **** up... I can probably hold my own against just about anyone in here, but I don't throw that around in here, or anywhere else for that matter... learn to think fag!
 
Captain Spaulding said:
Sure I can. I can haXoR this site to ****. Delete everything and take your money.
Click to expand...
FINALLY he says something to make me laugh... go ahead, show us all your mad skillz.
 
You're a meat whislte.... debate me, CES, or phreak and we will make you look like a ****ing retard!
 
You know for me its not about whether I like or dislike someone. People I wouldn't hang out with can still say interesting things.

This person however does not, the inexcusable sin (at least to me) on the internet is to be boring,


boring, boring, boring...

You should be the poster child for "just say no to drugs."

 
Captain Spaulding said:
Hahahaha. How the hell ya'll doin'? I'm buzzin'.

Know what pisses me off though? How I can't phsyically hurt someone over the internet (hence the title). Damn that pisses me off. So many ****ing whiney sissys online think they're the badest mother****er that ever lived. Horse ****.

Ya' ever called someone a ****** in public? No, 'cause you'd get your ****ing teeth knocked out.
Click to expand...



I knew some pretty tough rednecks in my past that called blacks racial words to their face. But backed it up because they had the weight, strength and toughness to.

Any form of discrimination is wrong. That also goes for reverse discrimination.
 
Captain Spaulding said:
Sure I can. I can haXoR this site to ****. Delete everything and take your money.
Click to expand...

Just sweep the box out, change the toilet roll, and wait for your release date.

I know it's a tall order, but if you can handle that, we may consider you sane.
 

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