Is she worth all this pain?

[woodyloveslinkin]

would it work if i said i love u?

 

[stupidsoul1]

lol woody...r u sure u have been readin the whole journal?? because u can tell how he has been hanging in there for a while

 

[[LP]GotLinkinPark?]

As much as I know you will hate this, the only thing to do is move on. She may be perfect in every way, but if she doesn't love you, then she doesn't love you. You're not going to be able to do anything about it. It's hard to explain why, but a lot of times girls will have a couple of guy friends that they love to death, but just do not think of them as a boyfriend (I would know, I am a girl). I know you say you cannot move on, but you have to. Everyone goes through things like this. The only difference is that they move on. If you try hard enough, you can eventually forget Abby. I think that if you stop "being obsessed" with her, then you will be happier because you're not suffering the thought of her not liking you. And....sorry if you don't like the idea of forget her, but I really think it would help if you could move on.

 

[Clogz]

Man, I hate to say it...but someone has too.
You are obsessed with this girl, and you have got to let go. I honestly don't really know much about situations like this, so that is really all the advice I can give you. :/

 

[mikelover]

I still love Abby. I always will. But now it's getting worse than it was before...She has a new boyfriend and they both eat lunch with me at school. They hold hands and lean on eachother during lunch. It makes me so jealous. Not to mention, this kid is a freak. He even picks on me and Abby doesn't even stand up for me anymore! I'm starting to think she's just faking our friendship. Oh ****, I've thought that ever since this **** started last summer. I've loved her since the beginning of sixth grade (2.5 years ago) but I never told her until last summer, although I gave her a bunch of hints during seventh grade. she's the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on. She is really funny, cares about people besides herself, listens to what I have to say, helps me through hard times (mostly), and other than that, she's undescribable...she's just so perfect in every way...I would do anything for her. I would die, or kill for her...once I told her that if I ever shot myself, I would carve her name into the bullet so the world would know that she was the last thing to go through my head. I know that sounds scary, but I mean it with love...she'll always have a place in my heart....no matter what happens. I'm not obsessed, I'm just in love. But everyone tells me that I AM obsessed and it pisses me off. Even my psychologist tells me I'm obsessed with Abby. I feel like everyone is out to get me and it really pisses me off. I'm lonely throughout most of my life...I hardly have any friends anymore, and most of the friends that I have are just backstabbers. I just don't understand why Abby just doesn't love me...I don't understand why she just won't go out with me. My "friend" Tiffany says that it's because girls don't want to go out with someone who's obsessed with them...I'm starting to think that the fact that everyone at my school knows that I'm "obsessed" with Abby as they call it, is making all the girls not want to go out with me. I don't know what to do...I just feel like dying, but I really don't want to die...at all. I just hate my life so much and it sucks. Not to mention that Abby gets mad at me because I told her that my parents think that it's her fault that I got expelled for attempted suicide and having a hitlist. I don't really think it's her fault but it might be...is it her fault? What should I do? Is there any way to get her to love me? Is there anything at all that I can do? I need your help badly guys. I know you can help, I love you guys and you're like a family to me. So please help.

i understand how u feel i've been threw the same nd still going threw it. dont listen to thoughs that say ur obsessed when u love someone all u can do is think about them. but i know letting go is the hardest thing to do but within time u'll let go slowly. i've gotten jealous before with the guy that i still love he was going out with another slut like always nd i hated that because they ended up always screwing him over nd he took everything from them they would flirt with other guys nd he wouldn't say anything. some of the girls would even cheat on him nd he would also act like if nothing happened, anyway u can still love her but if she doesnt want to be ur girlfriend, she wants you to understand that she only wants to be friends. that is going to be hard for u to have to go threw it but when they just want u as a friend that's wat they want. i still wish that the guy i like would love me back but wat happens happens. dont try to impress her becuz if she cant tell that ur going to be there for her i no u'll feel it was a waste of time. and i no most girls want a guy that will be there for her nd always protecting her, however if Abby wants that she has to look past u nd her being friends. some girls dont notice that the guy they want could be right in front of them

 

[<~DarkShadow~>]

thanks guys.

You're right about one thing, mikelover. I am right in front of her, she just needs to realize that I'm the right guy for her. I will always love her and be there for her no matter what happens. I would protect her...even with my own life. If someone was about to shoot her, I would jump in front of her and take the bullet. You may not know this, but I used to have a serious problem. Cutting. I would carve her name in my left arm at least once a night. My arm is covered in scars. I would carve LOVE=HATE on my forarm. And the scary thing is that I didn't realize that I was doing it until I was done...I couldn't control it...I would draw pictures of her, about her, write her initials all over a peice of paper, I've got over 200 pages of those drawings. I've got over 75 poems about her, about 300 songs about her. Ugh, maybe I am obsessed.

My parents think that it's all abby's fault that I got expelled for 5 months from school. I dont really think its her fault, and abby gets upset when I tell her that my parents think it is her fault. I honestly don't know what to think...

 

[SNiPeRViRuS]

It is her fault. If she is blind to the fact that you love her so much then it is her fault. But it is also your fault. I think she is scared because you are obsessed with her. She might want you to cool down a bit. She knows you would do anything for her, maybe she wants to do stuff herself. Maybe she will feel that you would be threatening to any other guy friend that she has. Maybe she just doesnt like you. But you must move on. Dont dwell on the past. Just try and get away from her.

 

[<~DarkShadow~>]

When this school year ends, then I'll have no choice. She's going to a different high school. So I want to cherish my last few months being with her...

 

[<~DarkShadow~>]

I'm going to miss her so much! God, I wish I could share one loving moment with her....

 

[FadedBlue]

Im no 'love doctor' or anything, i may give out some bad advice. But i wanna help out a friend, so, here goes.

She probably does love you.
Ignore her,..then she will ask you whats wrong?..then you tell her whats wrong. She will feel sorry for you and..tell you she loves you.
That worked out with my friend, he had the same situation as you.

If that doesn't work, you need to find someone else. Brad, you can't keep on loving some one that doesn't love you back. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.
Who knows..you might find another girl that you love just as much, and she will love you too.

 

[<~DarkShadow~>]

Im no 'love doctor' or anything, i may give out some bad advice. But i wanna help out a friend, so, here goes.

She probably does love you.
Ignore her,..then she will ask you whats wrong?..then you tell her whats wrong. She will feel sorry for you and..tell you she loves you.
That worked out with my friend, he had the same situation as you.

If that doesn't work, you need to find someone else. Brad, you can't keep on loving some one that doesn't love you back. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.
Who knows..you might find another girl that you love just as much, and she will love you too.

#1: She doesn't love me.
#2: She would never say she loved me.
#3: I've tried ignoring her before, it was too hard...but I'll be trying it this week.
#4: I can't find anyone else. I love Abby way too much.
#5: There are no other 'fish' like her.
#6: I'll never love anyone else as much as Abby.
#7: NO girl would ever love me...

My life means nothing anymore...not to anyone...

 

[Minzara]

#1: She doesn't love me.
#2: She would never say she loved me.
#3: I've tried ignoring her before, it was too hard...but I'll be trying it this week.
#4: I can't find anyone else. I love Abby way too much.
#5: There are no other 'fish' like her.
#6: I'll never love anyone else as much as Abby.
#7: NO girl would ever love me...

My life means nothing anymore...not to anyone...

Welcome to my world.... lol i'vr had two girlfriends one i was really obsessed with, kindof like you are with abby, but i didnt take it as far as you. Both of those relationships lasted 4 days... best thing i can say is get over it, **** happens.

 

[LPpinkfreak821]

wow.. thats deep..... you may love her but if she is hurting you like that she obviously doesn't deserve you... talk to her.. tell her that what she is doing is driving you crazy and its hurting you.. don't put up with that... obviously your life does mean something if you are here.. just dont' do anything that would be regreted in the long run.... i actually do kno how you feel.. its hard as hell but you just have to hang in thier and be strong.. i dont' have an special advice to help you out.. everyone handles these things differently.. i handled me problem slowly but i got through it... and trust my problem with my X seems to be EXACTLY what you are going through right now.. just in the mean time focus on a hobby or school or something to really get your mind off it.. occupy yourself... and things will gradually get better... i wish there was something i could do... im hear to talk if you want to.. my AOL instant message screen name is Pinkybabi01 you if wanna talk or scream.. or what ever it is... im here for you!!!! no one should go though this alone... i had help when i went through it... so feel free to IM me anytime

 

[angelwithburntwings]

#1: She doesn't love me.
#2: She would never say she loved me.
#3: I've tried ignoring her before, it was too hard...but I'll be trying it this week.
#4: I can't find anyone else. I love Abby way too much.
#5: There are no other 'fish' like her.
#6: I'll never love anyone else as much as Abby.
#7: NO girl would ever love me...

My life means nothing anymore...not to anyone...

1. how do you know she doesn't? she might be in denial or something
2. again how do you know?
3. stay strong! ignore her as best you can and see what happens, maybe what fadedblue said might happen
4. ok fair enough, but at least try and get over her
5. have you 'fished'? maybe there aren't in your school, or in your close social group or whatever.... give life a chance, maybe you'll randomly meet someone, it does happen, trust me!
6. how do you know? i never thought i'd love anyone as much as i loved one of my ex's, but i love my gf now as much if not more than that.
7. thats just ****ing stupid (scuse the language) and pesimistic and depressive and blah blah. girls will love you, maybe do, but are scared of this whole abi thing, try and get over her and maybe a few offers will come in

thats my personal view on your points, tell me go home or whatever if it's all crap! stay strong, and don't top yourself over her, no girl is worth that, not even someone you love with all your heart, soul, mind and everything else.... i've been there, done that, got the scars, not worth it

 

[mikelover]

#1: She doesn't love me.
#2: She would never say she loved me.
#3: I've tried ignoring her before, it was too hard...but I'll be trying it this week.
#4: I can't find anyone else. I love Abby way too much.
#5: There are no other 'fish' like her.
#6: I'll never love anyone else as much as Abby.
#7: NO girl would ever love me...

My life means nothing anymore...not to anyone...

#6: I'll never love anyone else as much as Abby... the same with me
#7: NO girl would ever love me... i feel no guy would ever love me

there's a saying "no one is like ur first love, but if it's not meant to be then let it be, if u love something let it go nd if i loves u back it will return, but if it wasnt meant to be it wont return nd u'll have to move on with hurtful pains." try to keep ur head up <~darkshadow~>

 

[<~DarkShadow~>]

How can I keep my head up when all this is hapening?

 

[Clogz]

DarkShadow, you've gotta realize that this girl would probably never take your friendship to the next level. She has to know you are obsessed with her, and it probably scares her. But, she might also like it - having a guy that loves her just 'around'. I've known girls who have toyed like that with guys...it is frikkin evil and wrong. But, you may have to consider the fact you are just a toy to her and nothing more...
You need to move on if you think this might be true though, because if it you'll never have her.

 

[woodyloveslinkin]

i've gota agree with snipervirus for once.....move on some time or another

 

[<~DarkShadow~>]

I can't accept the fact that she is using me for attention...she tells me that she hates attention...so why would she be using me for it? It just doesn't make any sense. I like to beleive that she and I are really friends but I've come to the conclusion that she possibly is pretending to be my friend to make me feel better about myself. But I don't think that she would go so low as to do that to me. She's such a sweet girl, but sometimes she can be a real bitch. For instance, yesterday someone stole my lunch and I asked her if she would share her food with me and she simply said No. So I just looked away for a minute and when I looked back at her she was sharing her food with her gay ass boyfriend. I ****ing hate that kid...and to think I used to be friends with him....ugh I hate my life....it sucks so bad...

 

[LPpinkfreak821]

you can't totally hate your life.. your making friends with a stupid blonde right now.... smile.. PLEASE!!!!.....i kno your gonna hate me for saying but she probley doesn't care much for you.. she is mostly likley pretending to be your friend... find some new ones!!... dont pay attention to her.. or her gay ass boyfriend...its not worth it..errrg.. someone stole my lunch the other day.. he is such a fag.. ne who... focus on something or someone else.. and try to be happy!!!