life is... boring...?

[LPHybridSnax]

Recently I've found that I'm kind of just drifting through every day, I pay almost no attention in school, I finished my work in chemistry today and put my head down and I happened to wake up right when the girl in front of me said "Oh my God, he sleeps in here like every day. He's probably failing." it pissed me off, but with the way I look I'm used to this sort of thing so I sat up, laughed and asked "are you talking about me?" she said she was and I just told her that I have a B in that class (which I do). It's really starting to get to me the "he's a dumbass", "he doesn't care" image people see me as. I'm pulling B's, C's, and one F (geometry) and I've paid no attention the whole year. I could easily have A's and high B's if I got motivated, but I just don't know how. It's really weird.. I want to be motivated so bad, but I just can't do it.

I've realized that I don't even think that much anymore, I rely, in reality, on about 75% subconscious anymore and I make mistakes all the time and just go "what the ****..." like I made a sandwich one day and went to put my trash in the fridge or like today I asked my mom where she was going like 5 times before she left, then when she asked if i wanted to go about 2 hours later I asked again, then I was going to ask how long she'd be gone I asked, yet again, "where are you going?". I've been clean for a few months now, so I know it isn't a drug related issue, but I know my family thinks it is, but deny it. I said something to my mom the other day about ADD, which I don't have, but would like to be checked for again and I told her that I just can't get motivated.

Originally, I picked up music to fill in the empty feeling inside, to keep me from being bored, I'm in 2 bands and still find myself getting bored with it. Since I was in elementary school I wanted to get into filmaking, so I'm taking video broadcast at my school, the last two days I've done no work, only 50 of the 200 students are chosen to go on to the advanced course next year, if I'm not chosen I won't be able to get into that specific career, or I'm sure I could find a way, but I won't be able to pursue it until AFTER high school... three years from now... either way it's a career that I've lost a significant amount of interest in. I have radio broadcast next semester, so maybe I could try to be an audio engineer.

advice? I still don't think therapy is an option... or if it would even help... just need some words to jolt me out of the state im in, which is basically like "I'm tired. I don't give a ****." Sorry about all the reading, but I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm worried I'm ganna fail classes if I don't do something. I already failed geometry first semester, so I'll have to pull a C or better in a subject I know nothing about to get my credit.

 

[stupidsoul1]

You said you were interested in music?

Generally art goes in hand, i find when i am not motivated by my instruments i listen to my favourite songs and draw pictures, including little song lyrics in the corner that inspired me for the drawing.

From inspiration, it will turn to motivation.

Try different things to get you motivated...try a new aspect of playing music a new technique or style?

Don't force yourself to get motivated, wait until you get inspired and try out new things.

 

[Legion]

I've felt this way constantly through life as a kid through my teenage years, it eventually turns
to suicidal thoughts, so you should try to find somthign to do.
me to fill up that empty dull feeling I turned to religion, I'm not saying you should turn to religion.

All I'm saying is find somthing that you "actually" like, not somthing to do,
just get somthing you like to do 24/7 Me I go to church read the bible, Program a game, fool around on PSP,Go wlak waround, visit my firneds,workout...all these keep me busy everyday, and keep my mind off I'm bored nothing matters anymore.

 

[Jeezy]

Yeah...life can be boring...

you just have to make the best out of it

 

[Ravynlee]

Life doesn't get much better as you get older. I know you're looking for words of inspiration but it's a solemn truth no one teaches you in school. Every day is pretty much the same, we are all pretty much the same, all looking for fulfillment in its many different forms to give us all that sense of purpose and clarity as to why we even exist at this point.

I myself was diagnosed with severe clinical depression at 16 but I think in recent years it's not so much depression as it is realization. This is life. We're all trying to fill our time with things to break up the monotony and sameness of everyday. Some find God, some turn to crime, some raise families, some become rock stars and some chose to go the other route. Point is when you realize this, that we are all the same, that this is really all there is to life, it's easy to give in and think 'what's the point?' and lose sight of the bigger picture.

If there is a bigger picture to be had in all this I see it as this. Everyone, regardless of race, colour or creed feels just like you do at some point in their lives. It's easy to dismiss it as symptoms of a medical condition because let's face it, numbing things with substances is easier to do than deal with the real issues. I don't think there is anything wrong with you. In a way I see you as somewhat fortunate. You have come to a very prolific understanding that some people never or refuse to accept.
This is really, generally, in very broad and unspecific terms - Life.

What you do with your days doesn't seem to make much difference when you consider we're all going to the same place in the end. But if you want to be able to look back at the end of it and feel content about the time well spent then try and see things from a different perspective. If you don't make the grades for your course or whatever there's always other options. Life opens door sometimes you never forsee - whether you utilize them is completely up to you. And remember that what people say about you (especially in school) will not mean a thing at all when you are out of it. I know you've probably heard that too many times but I can't stress this point enough. Regardless who they are, everyone is just like you. No one is any better or any worse than you at your most basic. The only voice you have to listen to is the one you hear when you're alone in bed at night - and if it's okay with you then just maybe in some small way you're on the right track - whatever track you chose that to be for yourself

That's my two cents anyway.