Original sayings

[timesjoke]

Talking with emkay I was talking about a saying I made up:

"Off like a prom dress".

I used to say this all the time, I thought it was pretty funny and ladies always shook their finger at me when I said it, lol.

I don't know how original it is but I have another one I like to use:

"Sweating like two rats ******** in a wool sock."

Do any of you have original or funny sayings you like to use?

 

[snafu]

"Hay that's mighty white of you".

 

[snafu]

"I'll slap you so hard it'll make your head spin!"

 

[timesjoke]

When the car in front of you is not going but the light is green:

"That is the only shade of green it get's."

 


"It is the little skinny peddle on the right."

 

[eddo]

"Keep that up and I'm gonna plant my foot so far up your rear that you're gonna know what my shoelaces taste like."

"That's slicker than a greased pig on Easter mornin'"

when someone disagree's with me, or does something I don't like:

"You hate me cause I'm black huh? You racist pig..."

 

[timesjoke]

"Sweating harder than a Liberal trying to read a book."

 

[hugo]

My dad taught me this one early, "There isn't much a little elbow grease can't fix".

 

[emkay64]

Well I don't know if they are original but these were very common when I was growing up:

1) You kids are up and down more times than a brides nightie.

2) Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.

3) Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

4) Night time is quiet time.

5) Quit your crying or I'll give you something to cry about.

6) Never miss a good chance to shut up.

7) Her *** looks like two pigs under a blanket.

8) It doesn't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

9) I'm on it like a monkey on a muffin.

 

[ImWithStupid]

Sweatn' like a dog sh!ttin' peach pits.

 

[Old Salt]

Snot slingin', commode-huggin' drunk.

 

[RoyalOrleans]

"Sweating like a ***** in church."

"The horn blows! Does the driver?"

"This guy drives like old people fukk!"

"Well... no ****, Sherlock."

"Hurry up every chance you get!"

 

[hugo]

A saying I do not here anymore is "Poor, but proud".

 

[snafu]

I use this all the time

"It's the same difference."

 

[eddo]

Yep, you are unique. Just like everyone else...

 

[atlantic]

Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise

 

[RoyalOrleans]

I say this alot...

"Mercy!"

and this...

"By ***!"

 

[hugo]

"I'm just two beers away from a good day".

 

[Ahhlee]

Talking with emkay I was talking about a saying I made up:
"Off like a prom dress".

Oh, I have a friend who used to use that one all the time.

"Sweating like a ***** in church."

One of my personal favorites that I use often. Sometimes I'll add "fat *****" when it's a super, extra sweaty occasion.

..............

I also like:

"****** ****!"

"He's on it like a fly on ****."

"Keep your fukken pants on, Impatient McGee!!!!" ( I add "McGee" to lots of things)

"Do I LOOK like I give a ***?"

"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you buy me a drink and *** me later?"...oh wait, scratch that. That's my bad pickup line. Sorry!

 

[eddo]

Oh, I have a friend who used to use that one all the time.One of my personal favorites that I use often. Sometimes I'll add "fat *****" when it's a super, extra sweaty occasion.

..............

I also like:

"****** ****!"

"He's on it like a fly on ****."

"Keep your fukken pants on, Impatient McGee!!!!" ( I add "McGee" to lots of things)

"Do I LOOK like I give a ***?"

"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you buy me a drink and *** me later?"...oh wait, scratch that. That's my bad pickup line. Sorry!

anohter favorite of Ali's is:

"I don't mind if you watch, but if you don't put that thing away, I'm gonna call the cops!"

apparently she isn't fond of my Danny Bonaduce lunch box....