Pearls Of Wisdom

[captainfrenchfry]

Feel Free to chime in with a few

1) When running from a murderer don't fall down

2) Never pet a burning dog

3) ropes make bad bungee cords

4) Small Animals don't find firecrackers as funny as you do

5) No Shirt, NO Shoes, No Service doesn't mean pants aren't a requirement

 

[RoyalOrleans]

6) Never pay more than twenty bucks for a lapdance.

7) Never wear Brut cologne or any of its bi-products.

8) Be happy when you bite into one of "those little hard things" in a hamburger.

9) Never judge a book by its movie. - JW Eagan

10) Never eat yellow snow.

11) Beer goes good with anything!!!

 

[phreakwars]

12. Your uglier then you think

13. There is always someone smarter then you

14. Hard work never killed anyone

15. Determination is the key to success

16. El DeBarge was NEVER cool

17. The internet, is just one huge toy

18. Never hate anybody, you only end up hating yourself

19. Get plenty of sleep

20. Smile more often, your day will go faster
.
.

 

[Mohammed_Rots_In_Hell]

21. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they're really not out to get you!

 

[RoyalOrleans]

22. Multiple orgasms are a myth.

23. Even though the grass may be greener, stay in your own ****ing yard!

24. Queers, faggots, fruits...whatever...they prefer to be called pansies

25. When life throws you lemons, return fire!

26. Do not expect a gal to put out on the first date, that's what second dates are for.

27. Always keep pennies, nickels, and dimes in empty milk jugs.

28. Never fall asleep or she may fall in love.

29. Learn to speak an obscure or dead language, then you can virtually curse anyone out.

30. Beware of the penguins.

 

[tizz]

Multiple orgasms are NOT a myth

 

[RoyalOrleans]

31. Do not believe everything you read.

 

[tizz]

Especially when it is a man writing it HEHE

 

[RoyalOrleans]

32. Or anything Tizz has to say.

 

[tizz]

32. Or anything Tizz has to say.

You stink!!!! pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft' LOL

 

[phreakwars]

I liked it.


.'
.

 

[Vortex]

33) Gay people are light in their loafers

34) Straight men will take a blowjob from anything and anyone, at any time!

35) When drunk, a white castle hamburger will taste like a juicy T-bone

36) When sober White Castle is nothing but a gag reflex

37) Women are bad drivers, Men are bad lovers

38) Catsup is not a spice

39) Sex life dull? A little spanking every now and then can work wonders!

40) Assume everyone is an idiot...untill proven smart!

 

[Msixty]

41) always assume the gun is loaded
42) always assume that she doesn't have a sexy twin sister (but pray she does)
43) never use marijuana and alcohol together

 

[Crispy Critter]

44) Never allow two adult women to occupy the house you intend to share.
45) Don

 

[RoyalOrleans]

49. Alwys grudge-**** an ex.

50. Locomotion requires a half-drunken, insane Mexican.

51. Never bring coupons on a first date.

52. Arson is fun for the whole family.

53. Arm yourself; words can't penetrate kevlar.

54. Trust in God, believe in Satan.

55. Shooting fish in a barrel is futile, but fun.

 

[Cogito Ergo Sum]

(For Vortex)

56. The only difference between a straight man and a gay man, is a rapidly consumed 6 pack of beer.

 

[RoyalOrleans]

57. Coke tastes best when snorted off a hooker's ass.

58. Ass-****s should cost half price with a hooker.

59. Catherine Zeta-Jones is Welsh-Irish, not Hispanic as she appears.

60. Fingerbanging your mom's best friend doesn't make you a man, but spooging semen all over her face does.

61. Bees sense fear.

 

[Crispy Critter]

62.My dad

 

[Vortex]

(For Vortex)

56. The only difference between a straight man and a gay man, is a rapidly consumed 6 pack of beer.

You'd be suprised just how acurate that is! Can i buy you a beer



63. There is no such thing as a straight man, only men who have never slept with Whoresex

64. It is perfectly natural for a big burly grown man to squeal like a little girl in the presence of the following: Spiders, Snakes, Rabid Dogs, winning lottery tickets, the surgery channel, and free front row Cher tickets.

65. Straights in a gay bar beware; that hot chick your flirting with probably has a bigger **** than you do

66. if you dont tell a woman how to drive, then she wont tell you when shes faking it

 

[tizz]

Never publically admit that you are related to a heartless bitch until the DNA test proves it