Ok so I haven't updated in a while...but I gots the best news I've had since last year. I dunno if I told anyone, but I wrote an e-mail to my ex...and well...she barely responded like 3 days ago. She basically told me that she still couldn't talk to me and stuff. Blah blah blah more of the same. But towards the end, she asked me if I had any questions for her...like, if there was anything still troubling my mind. I went ahead and asked her if our friend, Cristal, had anything to do with her decision (that chick is so messed up...she likes to mess with people's heads). After a day, she replied back with this really really long paragraph(s)...
(Kuristaru is Cristal by the way)
('the thing' is Cristal's ex-boyfriend)
You know...the same thing seems to be happening this year...with Kuristaru. I have a feeling (well, it's more like I KNOW) that Anacaren had nothing to do in anything that happened last year. Before I begin with this year's "Kuristaru's Return of her F-ing Spoildness," I'll tell you what I think went on on last year's Kuristaru's acts.
She certainly had no trouble distancing herself away from me (who she'd known for about two years at the time) when she started going out with that gay thing (which I believe was in 9th grade?) that almost took advantage of her. She confessed everything (according to her) that was bothering her about "me and my B-yness" (I add quotes because I believe I was just an excuse). That same night she also told me and Anacaren what happened between her and that thing. I was, of course, mad and upset, but not just with that thing, also with Kuristaru. Now that I think about it, if she knew that that thing liked me, why did she let go of ME instead of getting rid of him (was I not that important to her that she could easily toss me away and stay with someone who she knew liked someone else?)? Another excuse I believe she added was my truthful advice (you should know by now about me and my straightforwardness, well I was very direct and truthful while giving her advice before and after that thing came along)... After, what?, almost three **** years that were friends and she tells Anacaren and Marisol that I was too harsh to her, why didn't she tell me (I doubt she cried over it like she said she did even though she a *** **** cry baby)? I think what was driving her crazy last year was pure jealousy (since she did also tell us that she was distancing herself from me because she knew that thing liked me). I think after she knew about it (the thing liking someone else...) she started disliking me, and she didn't want to make it entirely obvious, so she had to find a way to make it that way. So she found, yet, another excuse, you. She said "I" started distancing myself from her and Anacaren after you came into the picture, which is complete bull ****. I didn't change one bit and you knew it too, but she was trying to make everyone believe otherwise. So she put things into Anacaren's head that somehow turned her against me (in 9th grade she told me that she liked toying with people's minds, and those that taught her that was Marisol and that gay thing). She has obviously been playing with mine... She ultimately made you, and MYSELF as well, think that I HAD indeed changed. She added Carlos as an excuse too (whom I was never exactly close to) by saying that I chose you over him, and how could I have been so heartless, blah blah blah. Eventually, she made me believe you may have been the cause of the so called "distancing," so I was telling myself that I was lying to myself all along (about liking you, yes sorry I had a doubt at that point because she made me going into a different state of mind) and so I confessed to Yvonne why I wasn't telling her about us. That's how Yvonne got involved. Kuristaru started poking her mind too. She was spouting all this **** about how I was being a bad friend and how when she does something wrong I should just go along with it as to not to put her down. I was feeling more and more guilty, until I finally broke and said, ok I did change, sorry, blah blah blah. Because I cared about Kuristaru, I thought about it and yes she was one of the big reasons why I had to back off and stop talking to you... Even though she told me we made a cute couple, I know she was jealous about us (wow, does that sound stuck-up or what, ahaha...but it's the truth). If she wasn't happy with that thing I guess she didn't want to see us happy (and she does complain too, about the dramas and animes and whatnot, because the couples seem so happy that she feels sad, "I want somebody like that" blah blah blah).
It was after her spoiled self this year that I realized all this. Recently Kuristaru is jealous, or so Anacaren told me, because I am talking to Evelin more than I am talking to her (good jeebuz, this girl doesn't know when to quit). She started avoiding me and Evelin, after telling Marisol that WE are avoiding her, which I say is BULL **** again! We try to talk to her and she completely blows us off (ugh...talk about being gay). Well, I walked away from her after school on Friday, because I really don't want anymore of this. It hurt when I walked away, but if she's going to secrete her thoughts from us (if she even thinks of us as real friends) then that's it between us... =( I've put up with her brattyness quite enough already and I really do wonder if she really considers me trash. To think she was one of the causes of our not talking anymore. *sigh* She's using excuses like me and Evelin watching a drama without her...and Evelin going to my house without her (after I invited BOTH of them and it was entirely up to her whether she would come or not...idiot...SHE chose not to, yet she's blaming us). I really don't know if it's the right thing for ME to let go of HER this time. She helped me let go of you...and I'm still curious about what she told you that day in the cafeteria, if they were lies or the truth. Even if she finds me as an eyesore, she probably wants to keep me, and everyone connected to me, by her side to ruin me completely...
I'd ask for your help, but in the condition things are, I doubt that can happen. So please, just keep me on my feet. If you have any advice, I guess that could do a bit of help. Anything else that's unclear?
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I give kudos to anyone who actually took the time to read it...that's how she feels...I feel like an idiot for still being friends with Cristal...we both feel the same way about her...
Now that I found out that she was the main purpose of me and my ex not talking, I hate her...I hate her with all my soul...I hate her for what she's doing to Veronica's mind...I just hate her...
