sexy_LP_fan's journal

sexy_LP_fan

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 12, 2005
Location
New Mexico
hey! well im new to this, so this would be my first journal entry.ive been through alot..and yeah i could say my life isnt really what i expect it to be...but i try and make the best of it...i have alot to say and tell..ups and downs..happy and sad moments..just bare with me..lol...ok well im 17/f :thumbsup: , im from New Mexico :cool: , i love chinese :thumbsup: , mexican foods :rolleyes: . im now working at a fast food restuarant called Sonic :thumbsup: . im 5'5 130lbs light brown complexion, brown eyes. short brown hair, i had long brown hair but my cousin chopped the whole this off when i just told her to cut up to my shoulders....yeah it sux...asian lookalike....attractive :thumbsup: .....i have alot to tell up to now..about whats going but i cant really say right since this will be my first entry...well ill start with yesturday...i was home just on the net, im off til this weekend. My bf broke up with me because he wanted to be with some other fat chick, they met through his brother, our relationship we pretty much off and on, i wanted to work things out but, he seem to not want to... :(
 
Sorry about your boyfriend. But you will find someone you can be really happy with and who will appreciate you for who you are.

Congrats on starting a journal, it's a really good way to make friends here.

I'll see you around ^^
 
well i just woke up...lol....well yesturday was a plain day for me...i wasnt really thinking about my bf who recently broke up with me...i was just thinking about what might happen next...well yeah i was in my room, just got done clearing a space on my wall to put up a LP poster when i hear the down being knocked. I go over there not really thinking who it would be....yeah, it was him. I just opended it, walked back to my room, of coarse he fallows me to my room, then out of no where, just tried to play things like nothing happened!!!.....then he says he wants to be with me and all that bullshit but i dont really know what to believe of him anymore....i dont know why but i spent the rest of my day with him but at the end....he then says he wants to be frens...i ask why....he says....i didnt change, im not tryin to help him around his parents house like cooking, cleaning, etc., and i been with him for almost 6 yrs!!! i tell him i do but he still doesnt except it.....but.....i think im really in love again...lol...i dont give a **** either way about my ex....dammit...i really miss going to work, im off this whole week until this coming weekend! but....i had plans this weekend so i dont know if i should still go to work or not.....my best fren and i plan on going to meet this guy i met....he sounds perfect and everything....we been talking over the phone for about a week now...we're only going because we have nothing else to...lol....we're leaving tomorrow morning to meet him,.... :) im looknig forward to it.....gosh..i really can go on like this...tell my whole story....what i been through....yeah i been through hell and back....ive changed....im only telling whats happening now but if you hear my past, you probably understand alot more about me and what i have to say....but yeah...it sux....my life sux....but im trying to make the best of it....if my typing sux, its my keyboard, sorry...had an unexspected wind storm yesturday....
 
well....today started out pretty good. I was feeling good this morning...i had to cook breakfast for my brother and sister. my ex called this morning..saying he was going to pick me out...he then did...we went to this place where i bought a LP shirt which was hot....then we went back to his place....gosh!....we just started fighting...then he said he meant he was going back to that chick, i didnt care.....he droped me off at home not too long ago....but it sux...i left my LP shirt at his house..LMAO!...but i can always buy a new one...i really think i am moving on here....since i met someone else.....well he wants me to change to be someone else....or maybe remind him of someone else, to be like someone, idk.....but thats how shallow he is....im just listening to Avril now.."take me away" i just feel like stabbing myself right now, get drunk, wasted...have someone beat the **** out of me,choke or surfercate myself ...i have no ...well actually i do have good memories....i always think of then when im in this situation....they're with thus guy who i was with for two months when we seperated at that time....he was perfect....i miss him....but my ex messed it up....but yeah.....ive been trough alot...ive been beaten,choked,jabbed,thrown down.....all by him....im not who i use to be....lol...i remember i was really nice....i had alot of frens, guy frens also...ppl always see me smiling....lol.....but.....now.......i cant....*sob* im trying so hard.....
 
lol....last night was crazy!....well i was at home and i didnt want to be home at all....i just had to drink...so a called a fren up who i havent seen or talkin to for a while, got dropped off at his relatives house....kicked back for a while..and we went for a cruise..lol....then i told him i wanted to drink and i knew someone who could pull out for us...so went there but that guy wasnt home...so instead we just went to the store, and there was this guy who was fixing his car....i just asked him if he could get me some drinks, he said yeah!..lol....my fren was just freaking out....lol....yeah we got it started drinking,...he got all ****ing drunk on me, he started called me other girls names....lol.....i just decided to walk home...he tried keeping me there...but i ran off....yeah i got home safe....fell asleep..lol....then i woke up last in the night...actually my brother woke me up,lol, and told me that someone's at our house trying to climb in....so i got uo and closed the window nad fell back alseep...lol....LMAO! and then i woke up this morning, then brother called me over in his room, i looked out his window and i say this ladder against our house to the bathroom window!!....our bathroom window is really small but rectangular...i remember trying to crawl through it!..lol...i was so drunk....i couldnt though, i was skinny enough..but yeah i got into my house somehow....then that day my stomach hurted like ****!..lol....yes!!!....but yeah now im thinking of leaving my guy fren alone for a while....lol...let him sober up!....
 
well ok i finally went to work yesturday which was kewl :D . payday is in another two days so im excited :eek: about that too so can go out and have a good time with a couple of frens....yeah well this guy i talk to asked me to go on a date with him and i swear he just bugged me out :mad: so i had no choice...i went..so yeah i got off at 7:30pm last night, didnt get home until 8pm and we left at 830pm. i actually kinda thought he was cute :rolleyes: but other than than, i still didnt want to be with him or his girlfren because i know he wants to be with me but.....not to be shallow or anything....hes just younger than me...yeah....but yeah...my fren who sobered up called me and we talk..lol...he doesnt remember **** which is good...lol....because i aint ****ing drinking with him anymore! :eek: . LMAO today im gonig to work at 3pm to 9pm. i guess i could say im happy....im getting over my ex....life is ok right now...
 
yeah....but im not completly happy....damn i came back home....i was at work and i guess i forgotten my wallet some i came back home because my brother an ass and i thought he might take **** but it was all there...i got back to work...and my boss askes me whered i go and i lied to her saying i was talking to my mother, she just tells me to go home...lol....i was like ....uhh...ok...LMAO damn...now im here just thinking....
 
well yesturday, likei said i was told to go home so yeah i was at home then i went to a frens house and i guess...idk....i started feeling depressed....plus she wanted to drink so yeah we asked someoen to get us a drink....then i guess my cell battery was just about dying so i had to go home and grab my charger....and on the way i stopped at my cousins and asked hime if he seen "hope" (ill call him) he said yeah hed seen him but not talk to him yet....i asked for his number but he said he deleted it but it began with 5???.....gosh..dammit....we went back to her place...drank somemore, i didnt go to sleep til 5 this morning...i only got like 3 hrs of sleep....but im ok right now....just eating. yeah im home right now...lol
 
well i went to work yesturday, but....i guess you could say there was nothing or noone to look forward to seeing, hearing,etc., after work when i came home. So i just decided to call someone i havent talked to for a while. i thought he wouldnt never talk to me again but yes! he did....i did tell him i wanted to see him today around 3 or 4 pm before i got to work at 6pm and he said yeah so im looking forward to that...thats if hes still up for it....i gotta be going in a lil bit....my best fren and i are planing to go to las vegas maybe this weekend or the next, cant wait...lol....i always wanted to know why girls go through so much than guys do.....?
 
LMAO...idk....but yeah yesturday i was at work...and i guess one of my co workers asked me if i wanted any shots and yeah i took a few. afterwards i felt like drinking so we both asked her cousin to make up another run and yup...i got off work...and there were 4 of us, 2 co workers, me and her cousin....lol...didnt come until like 4 this morning...ive noticed im starting to drink again....and i only do this when im really down or yeah depressed....i even feel like drinking now!....im off work today so im just going to stay home. oh yeah before work yesturday i called a fren yeah we met up..lol....it was so kewl i havent seen him for a while and hes was hot that even..i even got to hold him while trying out him dirt bike...YESS!! ok im all happy now! lmao but yeah i do plan on calling him again soon and....see what happens from there...lol...
 
im at home again right now....didnt go to sleep last night until around 1 and woke up at 2 this after noon...lol...well i did call my fren and he invited me to go dirt bkiing with him on monday or tuesday, when he comes back from Albuquerque...cant wait..lol...im just really tired right now, just got off the phone with my fren not too long ago..finally told her about him and our plans,..lol...just laughing about it and he and i do plan to watch a movie tomorrow evening. i Guess yeah i already watched that movie *wedding crashers* and it was on my last date i did mention earlier..but yeah i watch want to watch it again with her...we'll laugh outr heads off i know it..lol
 
well i guess im not feeling so good right now....i havent been really eating for the past week ive only been eating once a day and today i finally ate, and yeah i guess i feel tired right now. im suppose to go to work at 6pm so hopefully my mood changes till then. But yeah im happy that im with someone right now. I saw my ex with his chick at the movies this past sat. i was right, she was shorter than me and fat..lol....as long as i look better than her im alright.LMAO but im over it...im finally got my first kiss from my new bf....it was sweet! even though he was eating those cinnamon gel mints in front of me....i could still taste them lol....im going to las vegas this weekend....or this friday, cant wait for that....
 
BAD NEWS:.........we didnt go to las vegas.....we reschduled it to another two weekends....it sux...i was all excited about it and everything...oh well...well yesturday i had like a sezure and anxiety attack come upon me at the same time..lol...while i was taking my drivers license test, which i still pass that, YES!!, but i still had that whole thing going on with me. Adterwards we went to Mcdonalds and before i ate, i barft out this yellow acid ****, it was just ****ing gross and **** because i had to taste that ****! LMAO but yeah after that i ate....lol...then finally we went home and i crashed all the way back, and i did the same when i walked into my room....then today at the hospital the doc gave these pills just incase that **** ever so i gotta be prepared...lol....im feeling better right now as i type, i went shopping today, but along the way i saw my ex, three times.......and then all of these hurts songs started playing on the radio along the way afterwards......it was all a bad sign for me....and now i just got off the phone with my bf and hes sounds like hes not having a good day either.....but hopefully everything goes good tomorrow for both of us during our movies....
 
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