The Da Vinci Code

[phreakwars]

Ahh the big controversial movie everyone is talking about.....

THE DA VINCI CODE
.

I'M JUST GONNA START TYPING GENERAL THOUGHTS HERE, AND IF I HAPPEN TO GIVE THE MOVIE AWAY, TOUGH ****, you chose to read my rant. And I would like to add, that I have NOT read the book.

Let me start off by saying on my local message board, the big hoopla is a few "GOD FEARING CHRISTIANS" want to boycott this movie at the local theatre... HA..

Get real.. some people say it should have a disclaimer that it is the work of fiction... I say the bible itself should have this same disclaimer.

So anyway, the movie starts out with some priest **** or something like that getting offed, and then some freaky old man like carves some **** on himself and like, ends up in the da vinci position on the floor, and like there is this cryptic message and **** that you can only see with a black light, and on it is the name of Tom Hanks character, which I can't remember right off hand because IT DIDN'T MATTER WHAT HIS NAME WAS. Well anyway, he hooks up with this one French bitch who is like the granddaughter of this dumb**** who is laying dead, and then like there is this
.
"SITH LORD" type priest **** who is chasing after them for some unknown reason , and this crazy **** like tortures himself, spanks himself while he is nude, he kind of reminds me of a crazier BILLY IDOL... or maybe an Eminem...

But anyways, I'm thinking to myself... you know... the role that Tom Hanks was playing would probably have been better done by Robin Williams.. And yeah, that crazy Sith lord **** could have been played by Eminem, It would have been his role of a life time.

Well anyways, the movie plays out like "NATIONAL TREASURE" except this one uses the DA VINCI CODE theory and basically, the Opus Dei... OOPS, I FORGOT, THIS WAS A RON HOWARD FILM.... The (OPIE DEI) cult was after them, and I think some Nazi ****s, maybe a couple Christians... hell I'm not sure..

Here's a spoiler at random... the code on the puzzle with the ammonia **** in it... is

APPLE

But enough about that...if you can't figure that out, THEN ACCORDING TO THE MOVIE... YOUR NOT WORTHY
.

basically like we are supposed to believe not only is Forrest Gump a like super awesome cryptology expert, but like the bitch he is tagging around with ends up being like the last blood line of Christ... And as an added bonus, he even finds the ****ing HOLY GRAIL...

So backing up a bit, I'm thinking to myself.. If I WAS TOM HANKS CHARACTER, and I found out that this hot french chick or whatever she was is the last bloodline to Christ, I'd definitely offer to do a "SPIRITUAL DUTY" and tap dat' ass to help carry the bloodline..

Which begs the question... why were these Opie Dei ****s protecting this by killing and **** ?? I'm still confused.. and like why did the crazy old man have to have all the crazy cryptic **** on his dead ass in the beginning.. couldn't he have just E-mailed Tom Hanks character ??

But anyways... That's MY personal take on

THE DA VINCI CODE

DARE YOU GO SEE IT ???

Just keep saying to yourself oh faithful christians everywhere...

"IT'S ONLY A MOVIE, IT'S ONLY A MOVIE"​

.
.

 

[jokersarewild]

From what you said, it seems that the movie is pretty much like the book.

Basically, the leader of the group of people protecting the secret of the Holy Grail is shot, and before death, leaves messages for Robert Langdon(Tom Hanks) and Sophie(Don't know who plays her). They go on a little fun hunt full of danger to find the holy grail. Sophie discovers along the way that her grandfather was part of some pagan cult that worshipped sex. Anywho, Robert and Sophie end up going to the house of some dude who, ironically, is the cause of people wanting to kill them. But he knows alot about the Holy Grail, and Robert needs his help(and he doesn't know this dude is bad). He eventually threatens to kill Sophie, gets killed(or arrested, I can't remember) and Robert finds the Holy Grail(which they don't actually explain in the book what the Holy Grail is).

Interesting book, but anyone who complains about it should do some research. Everything in the book is easily proved false if you do a little bit of research (or watch the History Channel).

 

[angie]

From what you said, it seems that the movie is pretty much like the book.

Basically, the leader of the group of people protecting the secret of the Holy Grail is shot, and before death, leaves messages for Robert Langdon(Tom Hanks) and Sophie(Don't know who plays her). They go on a little fun hunt full of danger to find the holy grail. Sophie discovers along the way that her grandfather was part of some pagan cult that worshipped sex. Anywho, Robert and Sophie end up going to the house of some dude who, ironically, is the cause of people wanting to kill them. But he knows alot about the Holy Grail, and Robert needs his help(and he doesn't know this dude is bad). He eventually threatens to kill Sophie, gets killed(or arrested, I can't remember) and Robert finds the Holy Grail(which they don't actually explain in the book what the Holy Grail is).

Interesting book, but anyone who complains about it should do some research. Everything in the book is easily proved false if you do a little bit of research (or watch the History Channel).

Actually, they DO explain what the Holy Grail is in the book. I guess you just didn't read closely enough. You'll have to do some reading.
And not EVERYTHING in the book is false-just a good portion of it. I have done a bit of research. I have a link that'll give you a bit of a rundown of what's fact and what's fiction. http://altreligion.about.com/library/davinci/bl_davincicode6.htm
I would like to see the movie. I like Audrey Tautou (Sophie)

 

[snafu]

I'm not going to run out and see it that's for sure. If people are so scared it will cloud their faith, they don't have any to begin with. The bunch of pansies shouldn

 

[TheJenn88]

It's Opus Dei.

Duh

But I thought the movie was awful, for entertainment purposes. The plot would be hard to follow if you don't watch the movie intently, and you'd forget key bits of information said earlier in the movie. Overall, the proposed story is brilliant, I quite like it. The level of writing, and the way the movie was done, however, was less fabulous than the story =)

 

[angie]

It's Opus Dei.

Duh

But I thought the movie was awful, for entertainment purposes. The plot would be hard to follow if you don't watch the movie intently, and you'd forget key bits of information said earlier in the movie. Overall, the proposed story is brilliant, I quite like it. The level of writing, and the way the movie was done, however, was less fabulous than the story =)

I've found that most movies based on books (that I have previously read) can never compete with the book they were based on.

 

[jokersarewild]

Actually, they DO explain what the Holy Grail is in the book. I guess you just didn't read closely enough. You'll have to do some reading.
And not EVERYTHING in the book is false-just a good portion of it. I have done a bit of research. I have a link that'll give you a bit of a rundown of what's fact and what's fiction. http://altreligion.about.com/library/davinci/bl_davincicode6.htm
I would like to see the movie. I like Audrey Tautou (Sophie)

The last thing I remember in the book is him going up to the glass pyramid in front of the Louvre, getting down on his knees, and hearing the voice of what he believed to be the Virgin Mary( or Magdeline?).

Is it the voice, or the woman? I am confused.

 

[Feckless Wench]

I thought the film was the biggest load of horseshit that I have EVER insulted my ass cheeks by sitting though!

 

[ToriAllen]

It's a MOVIE PEOPLE!

No kidding. How many other religious based movies have there been? Why weren't they boycotted? Omen, Stigmata, End of Days, Devil's Advocate...? The author has already stated that the book is fictional, so what is the big deal?
Don't people realize by now that controversy always increases sales? Even if the movie does suck.

 

[jokersarewild]

I thought the film was the biggest load of horseshit that I have EVER insulted my ass cheeks by sitting though!

You should read the book. It's a crock of ****, but the writing isn't bad.

 

[Feckless Wench]

I have actually picked up the book a couple of times with the intention of reading it, I seem to get to about page 10 and lose interest. I asked my hubby if the film was an accurate representation of the book and he seemed to think that on the whole it was pretty fair.

In my opinion, the film was made for people who HAVE read the book and not as a stand alone film. It took me about an hour to really 'get' it....by which time I was already bored.

I didn't like the way that the film was shot almost entirely in the dark...made it damn near impossible to check my wristwatch to see how much more of the crap there was left to endure.

The scenes of Silas self flagellating and changing his celice to the other thigh were overly intense and just seemed to be thrown in as an after-thought to give the film at least SOME power. (Although he does have a rather cute ass!)
Silas also appeared to be wearing some VERY badly fitting contact lenses in a poor attempt to appear the albino that he was playing.

As the film came towards the end, there was an almost frantic rush to 'tie up all the loose ends' and make sure all the openers were closed. (No need....we GET it... OK???)

The part at the end of the film, when Tom Hanks finally tells Audrey Tatou that she IS the 'Holy Grail' and the only living descendant from the bloodline of Mary Magdalene was just an insult to the intelligence of the people watching the film....For ****'s sake guys, we worked THAT one out at least an hour back! How ridiculously improbable, just THINK about how many people would have had to have been murdered over the last 2000 years to make THAT believable!

It seems to me that the film makers relied on the hype created by the book to sell seats....and did not bother to create a good film that would sell itself.

If such a poorly written, weak story can sell SO many copies and stir up SUCH controversy...what hope has the world of writing??

I wonder, if the Church had not made such a HUGE fuss over the book in the first place....would it have sold so many copies? Methinks the Church literally 'shot itself in the foot' by kicking up such a stink....after all, they practically sold the book FOR the author!

 

[Lethalfind]

I didn't read the book and haven't seen the movie...I just think its hilarious how so many people/groups and apparently countries have their panties in a bunch about this, the more hoopla they raise about it the more people there will be going to see the movie.

I just LOVE censorship...

 

[builder]

Feckless Wench wrote:

The part at the end of the film, when Tom Hanks finally tells Audrey Tatou that she IS the 'Holy Grail' and the only living descendant from the bloodline of Mary Magdalene was just an insult to the intelligence of the people watching the film....For ****'s sake guys, we worked THAT one out at least an hour back! How ridiculously improbable, just THINK about how many people would have had to have been murdered over the last 2000 years to make THAT believable!

You'd be surprised how many people need to be told obvious plotlines FW. It's part of the big dumbing down. winks

 

[jokersarewild]

I have actually picked up the book a couple of times with the intention of reading it, I seem to get to about page 10 and lose interest. I asked my hubby if the film was an accurate representation of the book and he seemed to think that on the whole it was pretty fair.

In my opinion, the film was made for people who HAVE read the book and not as a stand alone film. It took me about an hour to really 'get' it....by which time I was already bored.

I didn't like the way that the film was shot almost entirely in the dark...made it damn near impossible to check my wristwatch to see how much more of the crap there was left to endure.

The scenes of Silas self flagellating and changing his celice to the other thigh were overly intense and just seemed to be thrown in as an after-thought to give the film at least SOME power. (Although he does have a rather cute ass!)
Silas also appeared to be wearing some VERY badly fitting contact lenses in a poor attempt to appear the albino that he was playing.

As the film came towards the end, there was an almost frantic rush to 'tie up all the loose ends' and make sure all the openers were closed. (No need....we GET it... OK???)

The part at the end of the film, when Tom Hanks finally tells Audrey Tatou that she IS the 'Holy Grail' and the only living descendant from the bloodline of Mary Magdalene was just an insult to the intelligence of the people watching the film....For ****'s sake guys, we worked THAT one out at least an hour back! How ridiculously improbable, just THINK about how many people would have had to have been murdered over the last 2000 years to make THAT believable!

It seems to me that the film makers relied on the hype created by the book to sell seats....and did not bother to create a good film that would sell itself.

If such a poorly written, weak story can sell SO many copies and stir up SUCH controversy...what hope has the world of writing??

I wonder, if the Church had not made such a HUGE fuss over the book in the first place....would it have sold so many copies? Methinks the Church literally 'shot itself in the foot' by kicking up such a stink....after all, they practically sold the book FOR the author!

He has the Celice in the book, too. Opus Dei n' such.

It makes sense that it's not a standalone though.

 

[wolvesslasher]

No kidding. How many other religious based movies have there been? Why weren't they boycotted? Omen, Stigmata, End of Days, Devil's Advocate...? The author has already stated that the book is fictional, so what is the big deal?
Don't people realize by now that controversy always increases sales? Even if the movie does suck.

Only IDIOTS or/and rebellious teenagers would go see a movie just because it's "controversial".

 

[Feckless Wench]

Only IDIOTS or/and rebellious teenagers would go see a movie just because it's "controversial".

I yielded to the wants of my hubby (who has read the book and loved it) and bought the tickets....now I feel ashamed..LOL!

 

[jokersarewild]

Only IDIOTS or/and rebellious teenagers would go see a movie just because it's "controversial".

Or, if you read the book you might want to see it.

Only Idiots/rebellious teenagers make stupid-ass comments like that.

 

[angie]

Or, if you read the book you might want to see it.

Only Idiots/rebellious teenagers make stupid-ass comments like that.

I think he falls into both catergories.

 

[TerroristHater]

I yielded to the wants of my hubby (who has read the book and loved it) and bought the tickets....now I feel ashamed..LOL!

There is no shame in seeing it for entertainment purposes. Just remember that it's fiction and don't let get to you.

 

[WHATEVER]

Whatever you people do ..don't waste your money on this movie...don't even buy the DVD- but if you are one of those losers who is obsessed with the Da Vinci code and actually believes it's real, then go see it so that you can visualise the stupidity of it all.

I went to see the Da Vinci code the other day and I must say it did suck. First of all (as usual) I was sitting near some nasty old man who kept coughing up a storm and kept staring at me (creepy)...and as far as the movie goes well...the cast sucked miserably (they were all boring bobble heads), the only interesting parts of the movie were the two parts where they try and tell you all the crap like "Jesus was married" & boy did I have a good laugh when they said that plain Jane, French chick was the descendant of Christ!!! COMICAL! So then towards the end you might find yourself praying the movie would just bloody well END because it's so long and boring ...especially the end - my God - watching tom hanks sitting down in a glass pyramid (or wherever) making different facial expressions is just not my idea of entertaining!

My overall opinion could have been affected by the nasty coughing dude sitting near me but I give this movie a generous 2.5/5