phreakwars
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2005
Ahh the big controversial movie everyone is talking about.....
THE DA VINCI CODE
.
I'M JUST GONNA START TYPING GENERAL THOUGHTS HERE, AND IF I HAPPEN TO GIVE THE MOVIE AWAY, TOUGH ****, you chose to read my rant. And I would like to add, that I have NOT read the book.
Let me start off by saying on my local message board, the big hoopla is a few "GOD FEARING CHRISTIANS" want to boycott this movie at the local theatre... HA..
Get real.. some people say it should have a disclaimer that it is the work of fiction... I say the bible itself should have this same disclaimer.
So anyway, the movie starts out with some priest **** or something like that getting offed, and then some freaky old man like carves some **** on himself and like, ends up in the da vinci position on the floor, and like there is this cryptic message and **** that you can only see with a black light, and on it is the name of Tom Hanks character, which I can't remember right off hand because IT DIDN'T MATTER WHAT HIS NAME WAS. Well anyway, he hooks up with this one French bitch who is like the granddaughter of this dumb**** who is laying dead, and then like there is this
.
"SITH LORD" type priest **** who is chasing after them for some unknown reason , and this crazy **** like tortures himself, spanks himself while he is nude, he kind of reminds me of a crazier BILLY IDOL... or maybe an Eminem...
But anyways, I'm thinking to myself... you know... the role that Tom Hanks was playing would probably have been better done by Robin Williams.. And yeah, that crazy Sith lord **** could have been played by Eminem, It would have been his role of a life time.
Well anyways, the movie plays out like "NATIONAL TREASURE" except this one uses the DA VINCI CODE theory and basically, the Opus Dei... OOPS, I FORGOT, THIS WAS A RON HOWARD FILM.... The (OPIE DEI) cult was after them, and I think some Nazi ****s, maybe a couple Christians... hell I'm not sure..
Here's a spoiler at random... the code on the puzzle with the ammonia **** in it... is
APPLE
But enough about that...if you can't figure that out, THEN ACCORDING TO THE MOVIE... YOUR NOT WORTHY
.
basically like we are supposed to believe not only is Forrest Gump a like super awesome cryptology expert, but like the bitch he is tagging around with ends up being like the last blood line of Christ... And as an added bonus, he even finds the ****ing HOLY GRAIL...
So backing up a bit, I'm thinking to myself.. If I WAS TOM HANKS CHARACTER, and I found out that this hot french chick or whatever she was is the last bloodline to Christ, I'd definitely offer to do a "SPIRITUAL DUTY" and tap dat' ass to help carry the bloodline..
Which begs the question... why were these Opie Dei ****s protecting this by killing and **** ?? I'm still confused.. and like why did the crazy old man have to have all the crazy cryptic **** on his dead ass in the beginning.. couldn't he have just E-mailed Tom Hanks character ??
But anyways... That's MY personal take on
THE DA VINCI CODE
DARE YOU GO SEE IT ???
Just keep saying to yourself oh faithful christians everywhere...
.
THE DA VINCI CODE
.
I'M JUST GONNA START TYPING GENERAL THOUGHTS HERE, AND IF I HAPPEN TO GIVE THE MOVIE AWAY, TOUGH ****, you chose to read my rant. And I would like to add, that I have NOT read the book.
Let me start off by saying on my local message board, the big hoopla is a few "GOD FEARING CHRISTIANS" want to boycott this movie at the local theatre... HA..
Get real.. some people say it should have a disclaimer that it is the work of fiction... I say the bible itself should have this same disclaimer.
So anyway, the movie starts out with some priest **** or something like that getting offed, and then some freaky old man like carves some **** on himself and like, ends up in the da vinci position on the floor, and like there is this cryptic message and **** that you can only see with a black light, and on it is the name of Tom Hanks character, which I can't remember right off hand because IT DIDN'T MATTER WHAT HIS NAME WAS. Well anyway, he hooks up with this one French bitch who is like the granddaughter of this dumb**** who is laying dead, and then like there is this
.
"SITH LORD" type priest **** who is chasing after them for some unknown reason , and this crazy **** like tortures himself, spanks himself while he is nude, he kind of reminds me of a crazier BILLY IDOL... or maybe an Eminem...
But anyways, I'm thinking to myself... you know... the role that Tom Hanks was playing would probably have been better done by Robin Williams.. And yeah, that crazy Sith lord **** could have been played by Eminem, It would have been his role of a life time.
Well anyways, the movie plays out like "NATIONAL TREASURE" except this one uses the DA VINCI CODE theory and basically, the Opus Dei... OOPS, I FORGOT, THIS WAS A RON HOWARD FILM.... The (OPIE DEI) cult was after them, and I think some Nazi ****s, maybe a couple Christians... hell I'm not sure..
Here's a spoiler at random... the code on the puzzle with the ammonia **** in it... is
APPLE
But enough about that...if you can't figure that out, THEN ACCORDING TO THE MOVIE... YOUR NOT WORTHY
.
basically like we are supposed to believe not only is Forrest Gump a like super awesome cryptology expert, but like the bitch he is tagging around with ends up being like the last blood line of Christ... And as an added bonus, he even finds the ****ing HOLY GRAIL...
So backing up a bit, I'm thinking to myself.. If I WAS TOM HANKS CHARACTER, and I found out that this hot french chick or whatever she was is the last bloodline to Christ, I'd definitely offer to do a "SPIRITUAL DUTY" and tap dat' ass to help carry the bloodline..
Which begs the question... why were these Opie Dei ****s protecting this by killing and **** ?? I'm still confused.. and like why did the crazy old man have to have all the crazy cryptic **** on his dead ass in the beginning.. couldn't he have just E-mailed Tom Hanks character ??
But anyways... That's MY personal take on
THE DA VINCI CODE
DARE YOU GO SEE IT ???
Just keep saying to yourself oh faithful christians everywhere...
"IT'S ONLY A MOVIE, IT'S ONLY A MOVIE"
..
Last edited by a moderator: