wez

Hey You Pink Floyd Hey you, out there in the cold Getting lonely, getting old Can you feel me? Hey you, standing in the aisles With itchy feet and fading smiles Can you feel me? Hey you, dont help them to bury the light Dont give in without a fight. Hey you, out there on your own Sitting naked by the phone Would you touch me? Hey you, with you ear against the wall Waiting for someone to call out Would you touch me? Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone? Open your heart, I'm coming home. But it was only fantasy. The wall was too high, As you can see. No matter how he tried, He could not break free. And the worms ate into his brain. Hey you, standing in the road Always doing what youre told, Can you help me? Hey you, out there beyond the wall, Breaking bottles in the hall, Can you help me? Hey you, dont tell me theres no hope at all Together we stand, divided we fall. [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRcQZ2tnWeg]YouTube - Hey You[/ame]

It seemed like this was one big Prozac nation, one big mess of malaise. Perhaps the next time half a million people gather for a protest march on the White House green it will not be for abortion rights or gay liberation, but because we're all so bummed out. ~ Elizabeth Wurtzel From Book Prozac Nation I start to feel like I can't maintain the facade any longer, that I may just start to show through. And I wish I knew what was wrong. Maybe something about how stupid my whole life is. I don't know. Why does the rest of the world put up with the hypocrisy, the need to put a happy face on sorrow, the need to keep on keeping on?... I don't know the answer, I know only that I can't. I don't want any more vicissitudes, I don't want any more of this try, try again stuff. I just want out. I've had it. I am so tired. I am twenty and I am already exhausted. ~ Elizabeth Wurtzel From Book Prozac Nation In a strange way, I had fallen in love with my depression. Dr. Sterling was right about that. I loved it because I thought it was all I had. I thought depression was the part of my character that made me worthwhile. I thought so little of myself, felt that I had such scant offerings to give to the world, that the one thing that justified my existence at all was my agony. ~ Elizabeth Wurtzel From Book Prozac Nation I have studiously tried to avoid ever using the word 'madness' to describe my condition. Now and again, the word slips out, but I hate it. 'Madness' is too glamorous a term to convey what happens to most people who are losing their minds. That word is too exciting, too literary, too interesting in its connotations, to convey the boredom, the slowness, the dreariness, the dampness of depression. ~ Elizabeth Wurtzel From Book Prozac Nation I'm the girl who is lost in space, the girl who is disappearing always, forever fading away and receding farther and farther into the background. Just like the Cheshire cat, someday I will suddenly leave, but the artificial warmth of my smile, that phony, clownish curve, the kind you see on miserably sad people and villains in Disney movies, will remain behind as an ironic remnant. I am the girl you see in the photograph from some party someplace or some picnic in the park, the one who is in fact soon to be gone. When you look at the picture again, I want to assure you, I will no longer be there. I will be erased from history, like a traitor in the Soviet Union. Because with every day that goes by, I feel myself becoming more and more invisible... ~ Elizabeth Wurtzel From Book Prozac Nation Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can't stop it. ~ Elizabeth Wurtzel From Book Prozac Nation That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end. The fog is like a cage without a key. ~ Elizabeth Wurtzel From Book Prozac Nation I feel ya sis ~ wez from thoughts of a Zoloft nation

Sorry seems to be the hardest word Elton John What have I got to do to make you love me What have I got to do to make you care What do I do when lightning strikes me And I wake to find that you're not there What do I do to make you want me What have I got to do to be heard What do I say when it's all over And sorry seems to be the hardest word It's sad, so sad It's a sad, sad situation And it's getting more and more absurd It's sad, so sad Why can't we talk it over Oh it seems to me That sorry seems to be the hardest word What do I do to make you love me What have I got to do to be heard What do I do when lightning strikes me What have I got to do What have I got to do When sorry seems to be the hardest word [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJ1tBYV1cgU]YouTube - ELTON JOHN - Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word (1976)[/ame]

I know the feeling.. All too well. I lived a lie for 20 years to prove to myself I wasn't living a lie.. hahaha.. wtf? It was beyond my mental capacity to cope any longer and understand as well and it wasn't until I lost control of my emotions after not sleeping for 6 days and woke up in a psych ward in Fargo N.D. on my birthday that it began to make sense. The only way for me was total forgivness.. For everything.. for everyone.. Mostly myself. It's not like it was a conscious decision either.. Quite the opposite. It just hit me like a ton of bricks.. Forced it's way out of somewhere. All the sudden I was at peace with everything that ever happened in my life and knew I was the only one to blame for all of my pain, And forgave myself.. And got out of my lie/life and went back to school. Still a work in progress and always will be.. Hard not to let 20 years of self induced pain creep back in sometimes but fortunately it doesn't last for eternity anymore. Hope I never go back there again.. Not fun to live in a black hole feeling all alone. I have vague memories of that week of no sleep.. Telling (Sasha) " I just want my life to be real" Begging her to just stop the nonsense.. I told her I was dying.. and I was.. But alas, wasn't meant to be.. She could never willingly give up the "power" I gave her over me and I couldn't lie to myself or shut up anymore.. So I took it away, and said goodbye.. And I'm sorry. You know.. If it wasn't for Hugo I never woulda made it.. I owe that man my life.. Literally. One little thing he said to me was all it took.. "Wez is a dumbass".. ... His first words to me... My very first visit to an online forum... He was right... I was a dumbass.. Not that I aint anymore.. Just a happier dumbass, thanks to him.. hahahaha Best of luck to you Bender.. Try not be too hard on yourself.. After all.. we're only human.

Ahhhhh.. sounds great sheik.. You're a good man. And I'm a better man for knowing you... Pretty sure eddo would be happy with a pizza, burrito, 12 pack of Coke, a day of Nascar and Alyssa Milano.. Right eddo? Or perhaps Tom Cruise and a million dollars.. hahahaha

Hell yeah... That sh ts exhausting.. Bad for the soul.. And grades. Still trying to figure why I'm a glutton for self abuse.. Guess I don't like to write anybody off no matter what.. Never have. Oh well.. I'll learn. Good practice for sharpening the forgivness skills and learning what not to do though.. Now I just need to control myself when he most likely refuses and love him from a distance when he tells me who/what I am, or else. Experience tells me I'm prolly gonna need a wide berth.. Mars? Hmmmmmm..

That sucks sh t.. Has it been that long since you seen her? That's gotta be tough. Hope ya can do whatever you gotta do to make it happen.. I'd love to hear the story if ya wanna share it..

Unreal.. Stars 200 times the mass of our Sun.. Mind boggling.. Massive Stars in Open Cluster Pismis 24 Credit: NASA, ESA and J. M. Apell?niz (IAA, Spain) [attach=full]1798[/attach] Explanation: How massive can a normal star be? Estimates made from distance, brightness and standard solar models had given one star in the open cluster Pismis 24 over 200 times the mass of our Sun, making it a record holder. This star is the brightest object located just above the gas front in the above image. Close inspection of images taken recently with the Hubble Space Telescope, however, have shown that Pismis 24-1 derives its brilliant luminosity not from a single star but from three at least. Component stars would still remain near 100 solar masses, making them among the more massive stars currently on record. Toward the bottom of the image, stars are still forming in the associated emission nebula NGC 6357, including several that appear to be breaking out and illuminating a spectacular cocoon.

Well, after careful consideration of how to make my dream come true, I've concluded that I'll start making payments now on a retirement kennel at an animal shelter.. and with a bit of luck... I'll get dementia by then. Well on my way.. shouldn't be a problem. Hope they feed and hose me down now and again...yay me.

Hey God, Please explain.. Show me How to Live Audioslave In with the early dawn Moving right along I couldn't buy an eyeful of sleep And in the aching night under saddled eyes I was not received Built with stolen parts A telephone in my heart Someone get me a priest To put my mind to bed This ringing in my head Is this a cure or is this a disease Nail in my hand From my creator You gave me life Now show me how to live And in the after birth On the quiet earth Let the stains remind you You thought you made a man You better think again Before my role defines you Nail in my hand From my creator You gave me life Now show me how to live And in your waiting hands I will land And roll out of my skin And in your final hours I will stand Ready to begin [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=js7I-FKPsQo]YouTube - Audioslave Show Me How To Live[/ame]

Nice to be at the mercy of greedy bastards.. love it.

I'm going through a dry spell... Life stinks... Only low B's on my last 2 tests and clinicals at the old folks home are depressing. Anyone got anything to verbally masterbate? Please do.. I need someone to vicariously live through..

Odds are against ya.. Although, you could prolly smear tuna on your balls, get a cat and imagine.. hahahaha

Sounds nice.. Get done early and have the rest of the day to yourself to whatever you want... Love tree forts!! Shame us little boys and girls gotta grow up. Natures cruel..

So into You Atlanta Rhythm section When you walked into the room There was voodoo in the vibes I was captured by your style But I could not catch your eyes Now I stand here helplessly Hoping you'll get into me I am so into you I can't think of nothing else I am so into you I can't think of nothing else Thinking how it's going to be Whenever I get you next to me It's gonna be good, dont you know From your head to your toe Gonna love you all over, over and over Me into you, you into me, me into you I am so into you I am so into you, ooh When you walked into the room There was voodoo in the vibes I was captured by your style But I could not catch your eyes Now I stand here helplessly Hoping you'll get into me I am so into you I can't get to nothing else I am so into you baby I can't get to nothing else No no no come on baby I am so into you Love the things you do Listen baby Driving me crazy, oooh Come on baby, oo-ooh I am so into you Love the things you do Come on baby I am so into you (x3) [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpPdLb69-qk]YouTube - Atlanta Rhythm Section - So Into You[/ame]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_HSmankmVI&feature=related

You're a lucky man..

So we're gonna bail out the people responsible to continue business as usual and extend the terms of politicians who oversaw it all without a choice .. Real F ckin' smart. Christ, not even an "or else".. Coulda at least threatened us first.. guess they don't need to do that anymore.. Got us trained good.

You're on... Things be getting ugly down here. You know, that's the thing.. Control and "power" always needs to escalate no matter what.. always. If I don't know anything else in the world, I know that... Only one way to deal with that.. Think I'll go take my frustrations out on TJ some more..

NGC 602 and Beyond Credit: NASA, ESA, and the Hubble Heritage Team (STScI / AURA) - ESA/Hubble Collaboration [attach=full]1797[/attach] Explanation: Near the outskirts of the Small Magellanic Cloud, a satellite galaxy some 200 thousand light-years distant, lies 5 million year young star cluster NGC 602. Surrounded by natal gas and dust, NGC 602 is featured in this stunning Hubble image of the region. Fantastic ridges and swept back shapes strongly suggest that energetic radiation and shock waves from NGC 602's massive young stars have eroded the dusty material and triggered a progression of star formation moving away from the cluster's center. At the estimated distance of the Small Magellanic Cloud, the picture spans about 200 light-years, but a tantalizing assortment of background galaxies are also visible in the sharp Hubble view. The background galaxies are hundreds of millions of light-years or more beyond NGC 602.

I wanna live for a good period of time not knowing or caring what day of the week it is.. Then die in the arms/paws of someone who loves me unconditionally.. Prolly an orange cat... Or two. I know.. high hopes. I'm an over achiever.. Whats yours?

Wild Horses Rolling Stones Childhood living is easy to do The things you wanted I bought them for you Graceless lady you know who I am You know I cant let you slide through my hands Wild horses couldnt drag me away Wild, wild horses, couldnt drag me away I watched you suffer a dull aching pain Now you decided to show me the same No sweeping exits or offstage lines Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind Wild horses couldnt drag me away Wild, wild horses, couldnt drag me away I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie I have my freedom but I dont have much time Faith has been broken, tears must be cried Lets do some living after we die Wild horses couldnt drag me away Wild, wild horses, well ride them some day Wild horses couldnt drag me away Wild, wild horses, well ride them some day [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1evd5KcP7rA]YouTube - Wild Horses-Rolling Stones[/ame]

hahahaha.. Christ.. Punched herself in the eye too? Yeah, no .. Specially for someone like me who is going to be a nurse. Just what I want, to work for the government. Think I'd like to find a nice girl and go colonize a deserted island.. Or mars.

Heard something on the radio yesterday that a McCain supporter got attacked.. A woman. Bastard etched a B on her cheek I guess after seeing a McCain bumper sticker... and robbed and assaulted her too I think.. I'll look for a link. Hmmmmm.. glad I looked.. appears it was a big fat lie. John McCain supporter 'who had B scratched into her face' to undergo polygraph test - Telegraph Media Matters - Fox & Friends' Carlson tied alleged attack against McCain supporter to report on preparation for possible Election Day riots http://www.blackvoices.com/blogs/2008/10/24/desperate-mccain-supporter-faked-black-attack/

I don't know.. I heard some Wall Street guys chattering today about "there's something in the air".. Some were saying a drop down to 6000 some.. The world is going crazy. Be interesting to see what happens in other world markets over the weekend. I agree.. something in the air.. It's not just Wall Street.. It's everything. It's like humanity is cracking.. Something new and unexperienced in the past is on the horizen. Can feel it. Plus, for peoples 401k's to have value.. someone else needs to be able to buy them.